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MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS   IN    MANY   LANDS 


Br  THE  SAME  AUTHOR 

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MARRIAGE  CUSTOMS  ^^ 

IN  MANY  LANDS 


jA         ^Jr'  I'Y    THE 

REV.    H.     n/   HUTCHINSON,    B.A.,    F.G.S. 

Author  of  "  Extinct   Monsters^'  "  7"/^   ^/ory  i?/'  the  Hills" 
"  Prehistoric  Man  and  Beast"   &c. 


priTH   MANY   ILLUSTRATIONS 


NEW    YORK 

D.   APPUETON   AND    COMPANY 

1897 


~\-\=;_o. 


UNWIN-    BUOTHIiRS,   THE  GRKSIIAM    PKESS,    WOKINI,    AXI)   LONDOX. 


PREFACE 

'  I  'HE  Marriage  Customs  of  the  World,  if  treated 
^  exhaustively,  would  fill  a  good  many  volumes, 
and  the  compilation  of  such  a  work  might  occupy 
the  best  part  of  a  lifetime.  The  present  writer's 
object  is  to  present  to  general  readers  a  careful  account 
of  quaint  and  interesting  customs  derived  from  infor- 
mation scattered  through  innumerable  volumes,  not  to 
discuss  scientific  questions  connected  with  the  origin 
of  marriage  and  the  human  family,  which  have  been 
dealt  with  by  well-known  writers  like  Sir  John  Lub- 
bock, Professor  Tylor,  Professor  Robertson  Smith,  j 
Westermark,   and  McLenan. 

The  present  age,  with  its  marvellous  facilities 
for  travel  and  consequent  bringing  together  of 
peoples  and  races,  is  not  favourable  to  the  preser- 
vation of  old  customs.  In  fact,  they  are  fast  dying 
out  everywhere,  and,  ere  long,  most  of  them  will 
be  as  dead  as  the  mammoth,  or  other  extinct  mon- 
sters. Hence,  it  is  highly  desirable  that  the  old 
customs  connected  with  betrothal  and  marriage  should 
be  brought  together  and  presented  to  the  public  in 
some  convenient  and  compact  form.      Although  much 


vi  PREFACE 

has  been  written  on  marriage,  there  is  no  modern  book 
of  this  kind.  In  the  year  1822,  Lady  Augusta  Hamil- 
ton published  a  book  entitled  "  The  Marriage  Rites, 
Customs,  and  Ceremonies  of  all  Nations,"  but  the 
facilities  for  such  a  compilation  were  then  but  few  in 
comparison  with  the  wealth  of  material  now  available. 
The  number  of  books  of  travel  published  since  that 
date  is  truly  enormous,  and  it  is  to  such  works 
that  the  writer  is  chiefly  indebted.  But  he  has 
used  other  sources,  and  gleaned  much  from  peri- 
odicals, from  the  "  Gazetteer  of  India "  (over  40 
volumes).  Hunter's  "  Cyclopedia  of  India,"  and  records 
of  Missionary  labour.  Nearly  ninety  separate  works 
on  Africa  were  examined,  and  on  India  more  than 
fifty,  including  the  two  just  mentioned.  "  The  Wed- 
ding Day  in  all  Countries  and  all  Ages,"  by  E.  J.  Wood, 
appears  to  be  the  only  other  English  work  of  this 
kind.  It  was  published  nearly  thirty  years  ago,  is 
somewhat  too  brief,   and  now  out   of  print. 

The  illustrations  have  been  carefully  selected  from 
a  large  number  collected  by  the  author  from  various 
sources.  Some  are  photographed  from  life,  others 
are  drawn  or  painted  by  artists  well  acquainted  with 
the  scenes  which  they  depict,  or  are  based  on  trust- 
worthy materials. 

The  writer  is  particularly  indebted  to  Mr.  Thos. 
Child,  of  Chelsfield,  Kent,  for  his  excellent  photograph 
of  a  Chinese  bride  ;  to  Lieut.  Chas.  Fox  (Bedfordshire 
Regiment),  for  a  photograph  of  an  Indian  Moham- 
medan bridal  party  ;  to  Messrs.  Bourne  and  Sheppard, 


PREFACE  vii 

of  Bombay,  for  their  excellent  photograph  which  forms 
the  frontispiece  ;  to  Mrs.  Rigg  for  the  photograph  of  a 
Brahmin  wedding  party  ;  to  Mr.  Percy  Bigland  for 
permission  to  reproduce  his  picture,  "  A  Quaker  Wed- 
ding," as  well  as  to  Mr.  J.  R.  Reid  for  similar  per- 
mission with  regard  to  his  "  Mate  of  the  Mermaid's 
Wedding  "  ;  to  Prof.  Douglas  for  a  Chinese  illustration 
of  a  bridal  chair,  from  his  book  "  Society  in  China " 
(Innes  &  Co.),  and  for  finding  the  Japanese  native 
drawing,  "  Bringing  home  the  presents."  Acknow- 
ledgment is  also  due  to  Mr.  E.  D.  Cuming  and  to 
his  publishers,  Messrs.  Osgood,  Mcllvaine  &  Co., 
for  permission  to  quote  the  graphic  description  of  a 
Burmese  marriage  from  "  With  the  Jungle  Folk  in 
Burma." 

London,  September,  1897. 


CONTENTS 


CHAP.      ^        -V 

I.    (  INDlV 


^    II.  CHINA                 .....  30 

V  III.  JAPAN       .                   .                   .                   .                   .  -53 

IV.  PERSIA    AND    ARABIA                     ...  62 

V.  TURKEY    AND    SYRIA           .                   .                   .  .76 

VI,  NORTH    AFRICA               .                   .                   .                   .  9 1 

VII.  EQUATORIAL    AFRICA          ....       I06 

VIII.  SOUTH    AFRICA                 .                   .                   .                   .  II7 

IX.  ABORIGINES    OF    NORTH    AND    SOUTH    AMERICA  .        1 33 

X.  AUSTRALASIA                    ....  I48 

XI.  MELANESIA    AND    POLYNESIA           .                   .  .        I58 

XII.  GREECE              .....  175 

XIII.  THE    DANUBIAN    PRINCIPALITIES                      .  .        185 

XIV.  RUSSIA                  .....  196 

XV.  SCANDINAVIA    AND    POLAND             .                   .  .       2o8 


X  CONTENTS 

CHAP.  PAGE 

XVI.  GERMANY  .....       222 

XVII.  BOHEMIA,    AUSTRIA    AND    HUNGARY                     .  234 

XVIII.  THE    TYROL    AND    SWITZERLAND                  .  .       254 

XIX.  ITALY,    SPAIN    AND    PORTUGAL               .                   .  268 

^      XX.  FRANCE,    HOLLAND    AND    BELGIUM              .  .       282 

XXI.  ENGLAND    AND    WALES              .                   .                   .  295 

XXII.  SCOTLAND               .                   .                   .                   .  .       318 

XXIII.  IRELAND        .....  326 

XXIV.  THE    GIPSIES    AND    THE     MORMONS              .  .       335 


LIST    OF    ILLUSTRATIONS 

HINDOO  BRIDE   AND  BRIDEGROOM  .  .       Frontispiece 

PAGE 

A    BRAHMIN    WEDDING           ....  6 

A    MOHAMMEDAN    WEDDING    IN    INDIA   .                    .  .10 

A    CINGHALESE    WEDDING  ;    JOINING    THE    THUMBS  ,  I4 

A    BURMESE    BRIDE    AND    BRIDEGROOM      .                   ,  .22 

A    CHINESE    BRIDAL    CHAIR                      ...  42 

A    CHINESE    BRIDE             .                      .                   .                   .  -50 

A    JAPANESE    WEDDING  ;    BRINGING    THE    PRESENTS.  56 

A    TURKISH    BETROTHAL  ENTERTAINMENT               .  .          78 

CARRYING    OFF    THE    BRIDE,    ABYSSINIA         .                   .  94 

MARRIAGE    BY    CAPTURE,    EQUATORIAL    AFRICA  .  .        II4 

DEMANDING    A    BRIDE,    VANCOUVER'S  ISLAND                .  I4O 

BRIDEGROOM    WALKING     OVER     HIS     BRIDE's    TRIBESMEN, 

HERVEY    ISLANDS      .....       168 

A    BOYAR    BRIDAL    FEAST,    RUSSIA     .  .  .  202 


xii  LIST   OF   ILLUSTRATIONS 

PAGE 

A    HARDANGER    BRIDE,    NORWAY  .  .  .210 

A    WEDDING    PARTY    GOING    TO    CHURCH,    NORWAY      .  212 

THE    RANSOM,    ALSACE     .....  226 

THE    CIVIL    MARRIAGE,    BLACK    FOREST                .                   .  23O 

A    WEDDING    PROCESSION    IN    AUSTRIAN    POLAND  .                   .  242 

THE    bride's    departure    FROM    HOME              .                   .  266 

IMPROVISATORE   AT    AN    ITALIAN    WEDDING            .                   .  272 

SIGNING    THE    MARRIAGE    CONTRACT,    SPAIN                      .  278 

THE    mate's    WEDDING  .....  3O2 

A    QUAKER    WEDDING                  ,                   .                   .                   .  3IO 


Marriage  Customs 


CHAPTER  I 

India 

.  T  X_is_J.ojLibtful  whether  the  Vedas  and  other  ancient 
^  sacred  books  of  the  Hindus  countenance  the 
polygamy  which  prevails  among  the  richer  classes  in 
India,  and  against  this  degradation  of  the  sex  Hindu 
marriage  ceremonies,  which  have  descended  from 
remote  ages,  make  their  constant,  albeit  useless,  pro- 
test. The  whole  spirit  of  their  marriage  ritual  is 
opposed  to  plurality  of  wives,  and  inculcates  firm  and 
undevTatrng  allegiance  between  man  and  wife.  The 
peasants  and  the  poorer  inhabitants  ofTowns  are  neces- 
sarily restricted  to  one  wife,  and  among  them  married 
life  is  often  very  happy.  Neither  do  the  sacred 
writings  appear  to  sanction  the  child-marriages  which! 
are  so  prevalent  and  so  injurious. 

In  Hindu  law  the  marriage-tie  is  very  binding,  and 
may    only  be  broken  for  some  grave  reason.      If  the 
/  2 


i 


MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 


wife  is  drunken,  or  unfaithful  to  her  spouse,  or  exces- 
sively extravagant,  or  if,  after  eleven  years  she  bears 
him  no  son,  he  may  take  a  second  wife  ;  but,  even 
then,  his  first  wife  still  rules  the  house.  There  are  at 
least  five  things  essential  to  the  marriage  ceremony, 
viz.,  the  betrothal,  the  gift  of  the  virgin,  the  accept- 
ance, the  seizure  of  the  hand,  and  the  seven  steps,  or 
sapta-padi. 

As  the  girl's  father,  or  guardian,  gives  her  away  he 
must  say,  in  the  presence  of  the  Brahmins,  to  the  bride- 
groom's father,  "  I  give  you,  for  your  son,  my  beautiful 
virgin  daughter  :  accept  her  therefore."  The  father  of 
the  youth  must  reply,  "  With  my  hand,  with  my  voice, 
and  with  my  body  I  joyfully  accept  thy  daughter  for 
my  son,  and  religiously  receive  her  among  my  own 
kindred."  The  girl's  father  then  declares  his  tribe, 
and  gives  grains  of  rice  tinged  with  red,  and  leaves  of 
the  betel  plant  to  the  bridegroom,  declaring  again  that 
he  gives  him  his  daughter  and  promises  to  defray  all 
the  expenses  of  the  marriage.  He  usually  gives  a 
present  of  cows  as  well,  and  especially  a  certain  stone 
which  is  used  as  a  charm.  It  is  hardly  necessary  to 
point  out  that  in  a  great  country  like  India,  with  a 
population  of  nearly  three  hundred  millions,  and  a 
very  large  number  of  different  races,  the  customs  and 
ceremonies  attending  marriage  vary  very  considerably  ; 
we  shall  presently  give  a  few  selected  examples  of 
curious  customs,  but  at  present  we  are  dealing  with  the 
case  of  an  ordinary  or  typical  Hindu  wedding. 

Addressing  the  assembled  Brahmins,  or  priests,  the 


INBIA  3 

father  says,  "  ®  Brahmins,  to  this  youth,  learned  in  the 
Vedas,  I  give  my  daughter,  dressed  in  gay  apparel,  and 
adorned  with  gems."  They  answer,  "So  let  it  be." 
The  father-in-law,  having  taken  the  hand  of  his 
daughter,  now  puts  it  into  the  hand  of  the  bridegroom 
and  pours  over  them  water,  sacred  to  Vishnu,  which 
has  been  previously  blessed  by  a  priest.  This  is 
perhaps  the  most  solemn  and  important  of  all  the 
marriage  ceremonies  ;  for  the  pouring  of  water,  accord- 
ing to  Eastern  custom,  makes  a  gift  irrevocable. 
Another  important  rite  is  the  tying  on  of  the  tali^ 
a  jewel  set  in  gold,  on  the  neck  of  the  bride.  In 
India  all  Hindu  married  women  wear  this  ornament 
as  a  sign  of  their  being  in  the  married  state.  It  is 
fastened  by  a  short  string  dyed  yellow  with  turmeric, 
and  composed  of  many  fine  threads.  To  the  guests, 
sandal-wood,  paste,  perfumes,  and  flowers  are  offered  : 
the  couple  receive  congratulations  from  the  assembly  as 
they  prostrate  themselves  at  their  parents'  feet  to 
receive  a  blessing.  In  Northern  India,  part  of  the 
ceremony  consists  in  tying  a  string  or  thread  round  the 
wrist  of  the  bride  ;  and  with  many  of  the  races  of 
India  the  man  and  the  woman,  or  the  boy  and  the  girl, 
as  the  case  may  be,  are  tied  together  by  the  corners  of 
their  garments  and  made  to  walk  through  the  village, 
to  signify  to  all  that  they  are  tied  together  for  life. 
In  order  to  impress  upon  the  bride  the  duty  of  com- 
plete submission  to  her  husband,  the  wooden  yoke  of  a 
bullock  is  laid  lightly  for  a  moment  on  her  head.  A. 
veil  is  then  held   up  between  her  and  the  bridegroom 


4  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

and  certain  prayers,  or  verses,  are  recited.  In  these 
they  call  upon  the  gods,  the  saints,  the  trees  and  the 
rivers,  to  witness  the  union. 

Then  follows  the  hofiam,  or  offering  to  Agni,  the 
god  of  fire,  in  which  the  bride  and  bridegroom  take 
together  the  seven  steps,  or  sapta-padi.,  amidst  the 
loud  chanting  of  the  Vedas.  This  is  an  important 
piece  of  symbolism,  for  the  action  implies  eternal 
friendship. 

In  India,  as  in  so  many  other  countries,  marrying  a 
wife  means  buying  one.  The  father-in-law,  of  course, 
gets  the  highest  price  he  can  for  his  daughter.  The 
young  man  must  stipulate  to  pay  a  certain  sum  of 
money.  The  bride,  being  only  a  child,  has  no  voice  in 
the  matter,  and  everything  is  arranged  for  her.  The 
young  man  thinks  chiefly  of  the  purity  of  her  caste, 
while  her  relations  are  more  anxious  about  his  wealth, 
and  the  disposition  of  his  mother  ;  a  very  important 
matter,  for  the  poor  little  bride,  when  she  comes  to  her 
new  home,  is  entirely  under  the  rule  of  that  important 
person  the  mother-in-law.  If,  after  the  marriage  has 
taken  place,  the  bridegroom  does  not  pay  up  "  like  a 
man,"  as  the  saying  is  with  us,  he  is  liable  to  be 
brought  into  court  by  an  angry  father-in-law.  Or,' 
more  probably,  the  young  wife  has  to  be  sent  home  as 
a  pledge  until  the  money  is  all  paid.  In  other  words, 
she  is  pawned  !  Among  the  poor  people  of  India 
there  is  much  litigation  over  such  matters.  Among 
the  rich  the  money  received  by  the  fither  is  laid 
out     in    jewels    which    become    the    bride's    property, 


INDIA  5 

and     can     on     no    account     be    disposed     of    by     the 
husband. 

There  is,  of  course,  no  courtship.  But,  if  a  young 
man  takes  a  fancy  to  a  httle  girl,  he  must  get  some 
friend  to  visit  her  parents  and  ascertain  whether  his 
suit  would  be  favourably  received.  If  they  have  no 
objections,  he  selects  a  fortunate  day  to  visit  them  and 
ask  for  her  hand.  She  may  give  him  her  heart  some 
day,  long  after,  but  that  is  all  a  matter  of  chance.  The 
presents  he  brings  with  him  are  usually  a  cloth,  cocoa- 
nuts,  bananas,  and  some  saffron.  The  Hindus  are 
great  observers  of  omens.  Thus,  if  the  man,  while  on 
his  way,  should  meet  a  cat,  a  fox,  or  a  serpent,  and  it 
should  cross  the  road  before  him,  he  would  instantly 
return  home  and  postpone  the  journey  to  a  more 
fortunate  day.  In  like  manner  the  girl's  father  defers 
his  answer  until  one  of  those  little  lizards  which  creep 
on  the  wall,  making  now  and  then  a  small  shrill  cry, 
gives  a  favourable  augury  by  one  of  its  chirps.  Not 
until  "  the  lizard  has  spoken "  (as  the  people  say) 
will  he  take  any  of  the  steps  necessary  for  the  betrothal. 

Marriages  take  place  only  in  March,  April,  May,  or 
June.  Second  marriages,  however,  may  be  made  in 
November  or  February.  The  months  from  March  to 
June  are  very  hot,  and  country  labour  is  then  suspended 
and  the  harvest  has  been  gathered  in  ;  these  appear  to 
be  the  reasons  for  the  above  limitation. 

The  various  ceremonies  of  a  Brahmin  wedding 
are  very  elaborate,  and  are  spread  over  five  days. 
First,  the  bride  and  bridegroom  are  placed   under  the 


6  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

alcove,  or  canopy,  with  twelve  pillars.  This  is  a 
common  and  useful  appendage  to  the  principal  houses 
in  India,  being  erected  before  the  door  and  covered 
with  boughs  of  trees,  as  a  shelter  from  the  heat  of  the 
sun.  Under  this  alcove,  gorgeously  decorated  for  the 
occasion,  the  young  couple  are  seated  with  their  faces 
turned  to  the  east.  The  married  women  then  ad- 
vance and  wave  lighted  camphor  before  an  image 
to  avert  the  "  evil  eye  "  :  this  ceremony,  called  «r<3/i, 
may  be  otherwise  performed.  All  the  Hindu  gods 
are  invited  to  the  wedding,  and  requested  to  remain 
the  whole  time.  The  same  prayer  is  made  to  the  god's 
ancestors,  which  rather  suggests  that  the  gods  are  only 
deified  heroes.  The  god  of  obstacles  is  an  important 
person  and  greatly  feared,  since  his  displeasure  might 
cast  some  impediment  in  the  way  of  a  happy  ending. 
So  they  place  his  image  under  the  pandal,  or  alcove,  in 
order  that  all  may  be  well. 

The  bridegroom  must  be  able  to  show  that  he  is 
"  pure,"  or  free  from  sin,  but  these  little  matters  are 
easily  settled  in  a  country  where  ceremony  counts  for 
so  much,  and  he  is  merely  called  upon  to  offer,  on  the 
second  day,  a  gift  of  fourteen  flags  to  one  of  the 
Brahmins. 

Then  follows  a  little  piece  of  acting,  which  must 
strike  the  Western  mind  as  very  absurd,  but  is  probably 
comiected  with  Brahmin  notions  of  ceremonial  purity. 
The  bridegroom  professes  an  eager  desire  to  quit  the 
village,  upon  a  pilgrimage  to  Benares,  in  order  that  he 
may   wash   in  the  sacred    waters  of  the  Ganges.       He 


INDIA  7 

equips  himself  as  a  traveller,  and  being  supplied  with 
provisions  for  the  journey,  departs  with  instruments 
of  music  sounding  before  him,  and  accompanied  by 
several  of  his  relations  and  friends,  as  if  he  were  really 
proceeding  on  that  holy  adventure.  But,  no  sooner 
has  he  got  out  of  the  village  than,  upon  turning  to  the 
east,  he  meets  his  future  father-in-law,  who,  of  course, 
begs  him  to  give  up  his  good  intention,  and  offers  him 
his  daughter.  The  would-be  pilgrim  readily  accepts 
the  conditions,  and  they  return  together  to  the  house. 
The  bridegroom  has  done  the  right  thing  in  offering 
to  go,  so  the  father  takes  the  will  for  the  deed,  and  the 
Brahmins  doubtless  are  satisfied. 

The  ceremonies  are  then  allowed  to  proceed,  and  the 
next  thing  is  the  tying  on  of  the  thread,  which  is 
fastened  to  the  right  wrist  of  the  man  and  the  left  one 
of  the  bride,  to  show  that  they  are  nov/  tied  together 
for  life.  Then  the  young  man  being  seated  with  his 
face  to  the  east,  his  father-in-law  approaches,  and, 
looking  steadily  at  him,  fancies  that  he  beholds  in  him 
the  great  god  Vishnu  himself,  and  with  this  impression 
actually  makes  an  offering  to  him. 

The  father  of  the  bridegroom  must  next  fix  his 
thoughts  on  all  the  gods  of  the  Hindus,  naming  each 
one  separately  ;  and  he  even  adds  the  month,  the  day, 
the  cardinal  points  of  the  compass,  the  woods,  the 
mountains,  and  many  other  things.  This  is  followed 
by  the  pouring  of  water  over  the  couple,  and  the  tying 
on  of  the  tali,  as  described  above.  The  ornament  is  so 
highly    honoured   that    they   even   offer   incense    to   it. 


8  MARRIAGE  ■  CUSTOMS 

Just  before  the  tying  on  of  the  tali,  the  Brahmins  put 
a  screen  of  silk  between  the  bride  and  bridegroom, 
while  certain  prayers  are  being  recited. 

Next,  fire  is  brought  in,  and  the  honam,  or  sacrifice 
to  Agni,  the  god  of  fire,  is  performed  ;  the  man  and 
the  woman,  hand  in  hand,  walk  seven  times  round  the 
fire,  and  so  make  "  the  seven  steps  "  together — symbol 
of  everlasting  friendship.  Lastly,  the  man  touches  the 
woman's  ankle  with  a  small  stone,  called  the  stone  of 
sandal,  and  in  so  doing  he  must  fix  his  thoughts  on 
"The  Great  Mountain  of  the  North,"  the  native  place 
of  the  ancestors  of  the  Brahmins.  This  little  ceremony 
will  be  specially  interesting  to  students  of  ethnology 
and  etymology  because  the  Sanscrit  language  affords 
evidence  that  the  original  Hindus,  or  some  of  them, 
came  from  the  north. 

We  must  not  omit  to  mention  the  eating  together, 
which  is  so  important  a  ceremony  among  many  peoples. 
According;  to  the  late  Abbe  Du  Bois,  to  whose  book  we 
are  indebted,  another  ceremony  is  the  sprinkling  with 
rice  of  the  bride  and  bridegroom,  each  standing  in  a 
basket  made  of  bamboo,  while  the  one  throws  rice  over 
the  other.  This  ceremony  appears  to  be  symbolical  of 
fertility  and  abundance  of  temporal  blessings. 

On  the  third  day,  the  astrologer  points  out  to  the 
newly-married  pair  the  star  Ariindhali.,  to  impress  upon 
them  the  duty  of  faithfulness.  The  bridal  procession 
takes  place  at  night,  the  bride  being  covered  with  jewels 
and  precious  stones.  I-'riends  and  relations  come  out 
of  their  houses  to  hail   the  young  couple,  and  women 


INDIA  9 

endeavour  to  avert  the  "evil  eye"  by  the  ceremony 
of  arati,  or  waving  a  lamp  over  the  heads  of  the  bride 
and  bridegroom. 

The  youthful  wife  is  taken  back  to  her  father's 
house,  to  live  there  until  she  has  grown  up  and  can 
keep  house  for  her  husband. 

When  this  epoch  of  her  life  arrives,  it  is  made  the 
occasion  for  much  feasting  and  rejoicing,  and  many 
of  the  ceremonies  above  described  are  performed  again. 

In  bygone  days  women  were  sometimes  allowed  to 
choose  their  own  husbands.  Occasionally  a  prince  or 
king  would  hold  a  swaydm-var,  or  tournament,  at 
which  the  fair  princess  would  choose  some  knight  who 
took  her  fancy  and  showed  great  prowess.  There  is 
an  old  Indian  fairy  tale  illustrating  the  marriage-choice 
ceremony  :  the  fair  princess  placed  a  garland  on  the 
neck  of  the  young  man  who  had  won  her  heart. 

In  old  days  the  "  Brides  of  Venice  "  were  all 
married  on  the  same  day,  and  so  also  in  some  parts 
of  India  young  people  may  have  to  wait  for  years 
before  they  can  get  married.  Thus,  with  the  Kadava 
Kumbi  of  Gujerat  an  interval  of  nine,  or  even  twelve, 
years  elapses  between  one  marriage  season  and  another. 
When  nine  years  have  passed  the  priest  consults  the 
goddess,  to  see  if  he  can  obtain  her  consent.  This 
is  the  way  they  proceed  :  two  bits  of  paper,  one  con- 
taining the  word  "  Yes  "  and  the  other  the  word 
"  No,"  are  thrown  before  her,  and  a  virgin  is  asked 
to  take  up  one  of  them.  Should  she  take  up  the 
one  with  the  word  "  Yes,"  it  is  interpreted  as  a  con- 


10  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

sent  for  the  celebration  of  marriages  that  season.  But 
it  unfortunately  it  is  the  one  with  "  No "  written 
on  it,  the  goddess  is  supposed  to  withhold  her  consent. 
In  that  case  they  must  wait  two  years  before  consult- 
ing her  again.  But  if,  after  that  interval,  she  again 
appears  to  refuse,  their  patience  becomes  fairly  ex- 
hausted, and  they  go  on  throwing  the  paper  until  a 
favourable  answer  is  obtained. 

There  are  in  India,  as  every  one  knows,  a  large 
number  of  Mohammedans  ;  but  their  marriage  cere- 
monies will  be  described  under  the  head  of  Turkey. 
Our  illustration  shows  the  bringing  home  of  a  Moham- 
medan bride  ;  the  bearers  have  set  down  their  burthen, 
and  are  taking  a  rest. 

With  the  princes,  rajahs,  and  the  rich  people 
weddings  are  very  expensive  affairs,  and  presents  are 
given  on  a  princely  scale.  Thus,  when  Prithi-raj 
carried  off  the  daughter  of  Jye-chand,  her  father 
nevertheless  gave  him  the  richest  gems,  which  he  had 
won  in  victory,  pearls,  elephants,  and  dyes.  And 
when  the  same  rajah  married  the  daughter  of  Dahima 
of  Biana,  her  father  gave  him  8  beautiful  damsels, 
62  female  slaves,  100  Irak  horses,  2  elephants,  10 
shields,  a  pallet  of  silver  for  the  bride,  100  wooden 
images,  100  chariots,  and  100  pieces  of  gold  !  The 
desire  of  marrying  into  a  higher  family  is  so  great 
with  them  (as  it  often  is  in  our  own  country  and 
America)  that  a  father  is  willing  to  make  great  sacri- 
fices to  mark  his  sense  of  gratitude  to  a  son-in-law 
for    his    condescension    in   marrying   his  daughter.      It 


1 

H^HEy^      >^ik 

tt    .jl»H^H 

s -£^i^^^^^^^'" 

•    '¥?¥;W  :•      '"^." 

,-  %-Bftfi  ^ 

(?'      ^ 

tt^^^'  '  ■ 

*^^^^gPB5^Bfc^  -      T^Kiw 

■P^^^M^^^'n^    •i^M^^^Hj 

INDIA  II 

seems  that  a  dread  of  marriage  expenses  and  pride  of 
race  are  among  the  causes  leading  to  infanticide.  The 
Kadava  Kumbis  have  invented  an  ingenious  device 
by  means  of  which  the  expenses  of  a  wedding  may  be 
very  much  reduced.  If  the  parents  fail  to  find  a  rich 
husband  for  their  daughter  she  is  solemnly  married  to  a 
hunch  of  flowers^  which  is  afterwards  thrown  into  a 
well !  The  girl  is  now  a  widow,  so  when  next  time 
she  really  is  married  it  counts  as  a  second  marriage, 
and  these  alliances  can  be  done  cheaply  !  Another 
way  they  have  is  to  marry  the  girl  to  some  man  who 
is  already  married,  on  the  distinct  understanding  that 
as  soon  as  the  ceremony  is  over  he  will  divorce  her. 
She  can  then  be  given  in  second  marriage  to  any  man 
who  wants  to  marry  her.  People  who  are  determined 
to  do  things  "  on  the  cheap  "  can  generally  find  ways 
of  doing  so  ! 

In  Kangra,  a  district  in  the  Lieutenant-Governorship 
of  the  Punjab,  is  a  hill  people  with  fair  complexion 
and  good  features,  whose  neighbours  are  polyandrous. 
Here  it  is  not  an  uncommon  thing  for  a  man  to  sell 
his  wife  to  another  man  ;  and  it  is  said  that  such  agree- 
ments are  sometimes  executed  on  stamped  paper  and 
presented  at  the  courts  for  registration  !  Among  some 
of  the  people  of  India  a  wife  is  reckoned  among  a 
man's  "  available  effects,"  and  can  be  turned  into 
money,  as  the  saying  is.  So,  if  a  man  owe  money 
to  his  neighbour  he  can,  if  hard  pressed,  pledge  his 
wife  (or  his  daughter)  to  the  creditor,  who  may  either 
accept  them  or  pass  them  on  to  some   one  else.     On 


12  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

the  debt  being  paid,  the  man  may  chiim  his  wife,  and 
any  children  born  in  the  interval  ! 

Among  the  Kol  tribes,  and  others,  the  price  of  a 
wife  is  sometimes  as  high  as  forty  head  of  cattle  ;  the 
result  is  that  a  girl  may  have  to  wait  a  long  time 
before  finding  a  husband.  Old  maids  therefore  are 
plentiful. 

These  tribes  have  a  ceremony  called  by  some  writers 
Plant-marriage,  the  meaning  of  which  is,  however, 
obscure.  When  an  old  maid  is  married,  she  clasps  a 
mahwa  tree,  and  the  bridegroom  a  mango  tree,  and, 
at  the  close  of  the  ceremonies,  the  bridesmaids  pour  a 
jar  of  water  over  the  heads  of  the  pair,  who  then  retire 
to  change  their  wet  garments. 

In  the  hills  of  North  and  South  Arcot  and  the 
Salem  districts  (Madras  Presidency)  are  the  MalayaHs, 
a  timid  and  harmless  people,  who  have  a  most  remark- 
able custom.  A  man  who  has  young  sons,  mere 
children,  takes  new  wives  for  himself,  who  are,  how- 
ever, called  his  sons'  wives,  and  the  children  they  bear 
to  him  are  called  his  sons'  children.  And  so  it  goes 
on  trom  one  generation  to  another.  This  appears  to 
be  a  relic  of  what  is  callcJ  the  Matriarchal  system, 
which  still  prevails  in  various  countries,  as  once  in  India. 

"  Marriage  by  capture  "  was  the  rule  of  old,  and 
relics  of  this  are  to  be  found  in  various  places.  The 
Mahi  Kantha  is  a  group  of  native  states  under  the 
political  agency  of  the  (irovernment  of  Hombay,  but 
subject  to  a  number  of  chiefs.  The  Posina  Va'w  in 
the    North    gives    the    Bhi'ls    of    these    parts    a    great 


INDIA  13 

matrimonial  opportunity,  for  if  a  Bhil  succeeds  in 
taking  the  woman  he  wants  to  marry  across  the  river 
without  being  discovered,  their  respective  parents  agree 
to  the  match.  But  if,  on  the  other  hand,  he  is  found 
out  before  they  can  cross  the  river,  he  is  severely 
handled  by  the  girl's  father.  The  Kolis  also  have 
customs  which  appear  to  be  survivals  from  the  old 
days  of  violence.  The  father  generally  finds  a  bride 
for  his  son  ;  but,  even  when  all  has  been  peacefully 
and  properly  arranged,  the  young  man  must  go 
through  the  form  of  starting  to  find  a  bride.  When 
matters  have  been  settled,  the  girl's  father  asks  the 
young  man  and  his  father  to  come  and  dine.  During 
the  ceremony  the  women  of  the  family  strew  grains  of 
corn  on  the  threshold,  and  as  the  boy's  father  is  leaving 
the  house  they  rush  at  him  as  if  to  beat  him,  and 
he,  making  for  the  door,  slips,  and  falls  down.  So 
important  is  this  little  ceremony  on  his  part  that, 
without  it,  no  marriage  would  be  considered  lucky  or 
prosperous  !  Only  it  is  curious  that  the  girls  should 
show  signs  of  combat  and  resistance  to  the  father  and 
not  to  the  bridegroom. 

The  Kurmis  and  others  celebrate  the  marriage  by 
a  pretended  combat.  The  bridegroom  sometimes 
marks  his  forehead  with  blood,  and  here  we  seem  to 
have  the  origin  of  a  singular  and  nearly  universal 
custom  in  India,  namely,  the  marking  of  the  bride's 
forehead  with  vermilion.  We  find  it  cropping  up 
among  the  Ooraons,  who  celebrate  a  child-wedding 
somewhat    after    this    fashion.      The    uncles,    who   are 


14  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

very  important  personages,  pick  up  the  bride  and 
bridegroom  and  set  them  astride  on  their  backs— just 
as  older  people  in  J',nghuid  sometimes  play  with  their 
young  ones.  One  takes  the  little  girl  and  the  other 
the  boy,  and  thus  burdened  they  pretend  to  be  "gee- 
gees,"  and  jxiw  the  ground,  as  if  impatient  to  start  ofF 
at  a  gallop.  They  exchange  their  burdens  and  begin  a 
sham  quarrel,  which  ends  in  a  prance  of  reconciliation. 
The  young  people,  who  have  been  well  rubbed  with 
oil,  are  presented  with  a  lighted  lamp—  emblem  of 
conjugal  love — the  flame  of  which  must  be  fed  by 
the  husband.  I'hen  follow  two  important  ceremonies. 
P'irst,  the  bridegroom  presses  his  toe  upon  the  bride's 
heel,  while  she  throws  herself  backwards,  her  head 
touching  his  shoulder.  Secondly,  he  marks  her  brow 
with  a  red  stain  from  a  drop  of  his  blood,  a  solemn 
act,  which  those  outside  announce  by  the  discharge  of 
firearms.  The  parents  present  the  "cup  of  love,"  out 
of  which  the  two  drink.  These  three  symbols — the 
loving-cup,  the  crimson  mark,  and  the  conquering  toe, 
are  to  be  found  in  nearly  every  region  of  India.  Two 
of  them  are  clearly  relics  of  the  old  way  of  "marriage 
by  caj^ture." 

Ill  central  India  we  meet  with  a  curious  little  cust(~)m 
which  j^erhaps  serves  to  explain  our  habit  of  giving 
presents  to  bridesmaids.  The  Kurku  girls  pretend  to 
resist  the  removal  of  the  bride.  When  they  get  near  . 
enough  to  the  young  man  they  pelt  him  with  balls  of 
boiled  rice,  then  coyly  retreat,  followed  of  course  by 
the  men.      y\t  the  door  of  the  bride's  house  they  make 


A    ClNGAI.ESK    WeUUING:    JOINING    TIIK   TllUMIiS.       By  ] .    WlI.LIAMSON. 


INDIA  15 

a  final  stand,  only  suffering  the  men  to  enter  when 
they  have  paid  toll  in  the  form  of  presents  to  them- 
selves. 

Among  the  Gonds  we  see  marriage  by  capture  still 
in  force.  A  young  man,  having  seen  in  some  neigh- 
bouring village  a  girl  whom  he  would  like  to  marry, 
goes  with  some  friends  to  the  place  where  she  is 
working,  and  makes  a  rush  to  seize  her.  But  his 
companions  will  not  aid  him  to  carry  her  away  by 
force  unless  he  succeed,  unaided,  in  touching  her 
hand  before  she  reaches  the  shelter  of  her  village. 
The  women  often  contest  every  inch  of  ground  with 
their  pursuers,  and  sometimes  beat  them  off ;  but,  if 
once  the  man  can  touch  the  girl's  hand,  it  is  considered 
a  match.  Doubtless  it  lies  with  the  girl  herself  to 
decide  whether  he  shall  do  so  or  no,  and  in  this  way 
she  can  exercise  her  own  choice.  Writing  of  the 
Khand  race  in  Orissa,  Sir  John  Campbell  says  that  on 
one  occasion  he  heard  loud  cries  proceeding  from  a 
village  close  at  hand.  Fearing  some  quarrel,  he  rode 
to  the  spot,  and  there  he  saw  a  man  bearing  away  upon 
his  back  something  enveloped  in  an  ample  covering  of 
scarlet  cloth.  He  was  surrounded  by  some  twenty  or 
thirty  young  fellows,  and  by  them  protected  from  the 
desperate  attack  made  upon  him  by  a  party  of  young 
women.  On  seeking  an  explanation  of  this  novel 
scene,  he  was  told  that  the  man  had  just  been  married, 
and  his  precious  burden  was  his  blooming  bride,  whom 
he  was  thus  conveying  to  his  own  home  !  Her  young 
friends  were  seeking  to  regain  possession  of  her,  and 


i6  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

hurled  stones  and  bamboos  at  the  head  ot  the  devoted 
bridegroom  until  he  reached  the  confines  of  his  own 
village. 

If  a  man  and  a  woman  have  been  living  together, 
and  the  man  dies,  the  woman  is  so  loth  to  be  con- 
sidered luimarried  that  she  is  willing  to  go  through 
so})ie  kind  of  ceremony  by  which  she  may  be,  as  it 
were,  sealed  t(»  him  before  his  body  is  committed  to 
the  earth — at  least  among  the  Komati  caste.  And  so 
it  occasionally  happens  that  a  marriage  is  performed 
between  the  living  and  the  dead  !  The  sad  intelligence 
of  her  man's  death  is  communicated  to  the  neighbours ; 
a  gnrii,  or  priest,  is  summoned,  and  the  ceremony  takes 
place  at  once.  vVccording  to  a  writer  who  once  wit- 
nessed such  a  proceeding,  the  dead  body  of  the  man 
was  placed  against  the  outer  wall  of  the  verandah  of 
the  house  in  a  sitting  posture,  attired  like  a  bridegroom, 
and  the  face  and  hands  besmeared  with  turmeric.  The 
woman  also  was  clothed  like  a  bride,  and  adorned  with 
the  usual  tinsel  ornament  over  the  face,  which,  as  well 
as  the  arms,  was  daubed  over  with  yellow.  She  sat 
opposite  the  dead  body  of  her  late  lamented  jiartner — 
we  cannot  say  husband,  for  the  ceremony  is  not  yet 
done.  Now  she  spoke  to  it  in  light  unmeaning  words, 
as  seems  customary  on  such  occasions,  and  then  she 
chewed  bits  of  dry  cocoanut  and  squirted  them  on 
the  face  of  the  dead  man.  This  continued  tor  hours, 
and  not  until  near  sunset  was  the  ceremony  brought  to 
a  close.  Then  the  head  of  the  corpse  was  bathed  and 
coven.tl  \Nith  a  cloth  of  silk,  the   face   was  rubbed   over 


INDIA  17 

with  some  red  powder,  and  betel  leaves  placed  in  the 
mouth.  Now  she  might  consider  herself  married,  and 
the  funeral  procession  started. 

The  cruel  treatment  of  widows  among  the  Hindus 
is  the  result  of  ancient  superstition.  The  horrible 
practice  of  Suttee,  or  burning  alive,  was  only  sup- 
pressed by  the  Indian  Government  about  the  year 
1830,  and  cases  have  occurred  within  the  reign  of 
Queen  Victoria.  The  custom  was  certainly  ancient, 
though  not  so  old  as  some  of  the  native  codes. 
Diodorus  relates  how  the  two  widows  of  Geteus,  an 
Indian  general  of  Eumenes,  disputed  the  honour  of 
being  burned  with  the  body  of  their  late  husband. 
His  description  corresponds  in  every  detail  with  the 
ceremony  as  performed  in  recent  times.  One  of  the 
wives,  he  says,  could  not  be  burned  because  she  was 
about  to  become  a  mother.  The  other  advanced  to 
the  funeral  pile  crowned  with  myrtle,  adorned  as  for 
a  wedding,  and  preceded  by  her  relatives,  who  sang 
hymns  in  her  praise — all  of  which  no  doubt  would  be 
very  comforting,  but  hardly  likely  to  diminish  the  pain 
of  such  a  cruel  death  to  any  great  extent.  Having 
bestowed  her  jewels  on  friends  and  servants,  she  lay 
down  by  the  side  of  her  husband's  body  and  died 
without  uttering  a  cry  !  Early  in  the  last  century,  at 
the  funeral  of  the  Prince  of  Marava,  all  his  wives,  to 
the  number  of  forty-seven,  were  burned  on  the  pyre 
with  his  body.  The  prince  was  eighty  years  of  age 
when  he  died,  and  his  body,  richly  adorned,  was  placed 
in  a  large    grave  filled  with  wood.     The  unfortunate 

3 


i8  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

victims  were  covered  with  precious  stones,  and  at  first 
appeared  very  brave,  but  as  soon  as  the  flames  reached 
them  they  uttered  loud  cries  and  rushed  on  each  other. 
Then  the  onlookers  endeavoured  to  diminish  their 
sufi^ering  by  stunning  them  with  pieces  of  wood  which 
they  hurled  at  them.  When  all  was  over,  and  these 
poor  wretches  had  joined  their  lord  and  master  in  the 
spirit  world — for  that  was  the  idea  in  all  such  sacrifices 
— their  bones  and  ashes  were  gathered  up  and  thrown 
into  the  sea.  In  time  a  temple  was  erected  to  their 
honour  on  the  site  where  they  perished.  These  hideous 
and  revolting  practices  were  not  compulsory,  i.e.^  the 
law  did  not  enforce  them,  but  it  was  considered  a  point 
of  honour  for  the  widow  to  die  on  the  funeral  pyre  of 
her  husband,  even  when  her  relations  endeavoured  to 
dissuade  her  from  so  doing.  Death,  however  painful, 
was  considered  preferable  to  living  in  a  kind  of  disgrace. 
What  will  not  mortals  do  to  avoid  contempt  .^ 

In  Bengal  the  woman  was  bound  firmly  to  the 
corpse,  and  the  two  bodies  were  covered  with  bamboos. 
In  Orissa  the  widow  threw  herself  on  the  pile,  which 
was  in  a  pit  or  grave.  In  the  Deccan  she  sat  on  the 
pile,  and  placed  the  head  of  her  husband  on  her  knees. 
Sometimes  she  was  overthrown  by  the  fall  of  heavy 
logs  of  wood  attached  with  cords  to  posts  placed  at  the 
four  corners  of  the  pile.  The  smoke  from  the  burning 
logs  often  suffocated  the  victim  before  the  flames  reached 
her,  and  it  is  said  that,  in  some  provinces,  she  was 
previously  intoxicated  with  opium.  But,  if  none  of 
these  precautions  were  taken,  it   might  happen  that  she 


BURMA  19 

would  rush  madly  out  of  the  flames,  in  which  case  the 
spectators  cruelly  thrust  her  back  ! 

In  Burma  there  are  no  child-marriages,  and 
the  people  seem  happy  in  their  domestic  affairs. 
Although  girls  are  considered  to  be  the  property  of 
their  parents,  they  are  very  seldom  constrained  to  marry 
a  man  against  their  will.  The  young  men,  too,  make 
love  prettv  much  where  their  fancy  leads  them,  ob- 
taining first  the  consent  of  the  parents,  which  is 
generally  given,  unless  there  is  any  doubt  on  the  score 
of  their  character.  Courtship  does  not  now  last  as 
long  as  it  did  formerly.  The  period  of  day  between 
eight  in  the  evening  and  midnight  is  called  courting 
time  ;  in  Burmese  it  is  "  Loo-hyo-lai-thee-kala^''  which 
seems  somehow  to  have  a  romantic  ring  about  it,  or  is 
it  only  the  soothing  sound  of  these  words,  so  strange  to 
our  ears }  A  lamp  placed  in  the  casement  intimates 
that  the  young  lady  is  "  at  home "  and  prepared  to 
receive  bachelors.  It  is  all  very  correct  and  proper, 
for  the  mother  is  looking  on  not  far  off.  Moreover, 
the  damsel  probably  receives  as  many  as  five  or  six 
together,  on  the  principle  of  safety  in  numbers.  The 
Burmese  mother  is  a  great  match-maker,  but  she  uses 
persuasion  rather  than  compulsion.  If,  however,  she 
should  try  constraint,  it  would  probably  be  in  vain, 
for  in  that  case  either  the  girl  elopes  with  the  lover 
of  her  choice,  or  she  goes  and  hangs  herself.  The 
women  carry  on  most  of  the  trading  and  shop- 
ping, and  are  excellent  housekeepers,  as  Mr.  Rudyard 


20  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

Kipling  shows  in  one  of  his  short  stories  of  Indian  life. 
It  cannot  be  said  that  there  is  any  true  marriage 
ceremony,  but  the  following  account  condensed  from 
"  With  the  Jungle  Folk  in  Burma,"  a  most  readable 
and  interesting  book  by  our  friend  Mr.  E.  D.  Cuming, 
will  give  the  reader  a  good  idea  of  how  these  affairs 
are  managed  : — 

"  You  know  the  purpose  of  our  coming  ?  "  said  the 
young  man's  father,  as  one  who  knows  he  is  welcome. 

"  We  are  pleased  to  see  you,"  said  the  girl's  father, 
and  his  wife  murmured  words  to  the  same  effect, 
though,  properly  speaking,  the  woman  should  say 
nothing  on  this  occasion. 

"  Our  son  loves  your  daughter,  and  wishes  to  make 
her  his  wife." 

"We  are  honoured — much  honoured,"  was  the 
reply  of  the  girl's  father,  who  went  on  to  say  :  "  I 
believe,  good  neighbour,  I  am  sure,  that  your  admir- 
able son  is  of  good  blood  ;  that  in  his  family,  on 
either  side,  has  never  been  any  taint  of  slave-blood. 
That  none  of  his  forefathers  have  been  king's 
slaves  ?  " 

"  There  is  no  slave-blood  in  our  family,"  was  the 
reply. 

"  No,  surely  not,"  murmured  the  assembled  friends 
and  relations. 

"  And  we  are  also  sure  that  he  has  in  his  veins  no 
taint  of  the  Grave-digger  class  ?  " 

"  Neither  the  ancestors  of  myself  nor  of  my  woman 
have  had  any  strain  of  Grave-digger  caste." 


BURMA  21 

"  Surely  not,"  again  murmured  the  friends  and 
relations. 

"  He  is  a  fine  young  man.  We  feel  sure  he  is 
healthy  ?  " 

To  which  his  parents  reply,  "  Our  son  does  not 
suffer  from  leprosy,  nor  scrofula,  nor  from  other 
evil  disease  that  is  properly  held  disgraceful.  He  is 
clean  and  healthy." 

"  We  are  sure  of  it." 

"  Well,  then,  good  neighbour,  in  the  presence  of 
our  friends  and  neighbours  we  consent  to  your 
excellent  son's  marriage  with  our  daughter  ;  and  we 
shall  pray  that  long  life,  fertility,  and  much  happiness 
attend  their  union." 

"  It  is  good." 

Then  the  headman  said — 

"  We  all  wish  the  young  people  freedom  from 
accidents,  diseases,  and  misfortunes,  and  very  great 
happiness." 

After  this  the  conversation  became  general,  and 
everybody  agreed  that  the  match  was  most  suitable, 
and  sure  to  be  a  happy  one.  But,  of  course,  they  all 
expressed  surprise  (as  was  proper),  and  professed  not 
to  have  had  any  idea  that  such  a  thing  was  impending  ! 

On  returning  home,  the  young  man's  mother  said  to 
him,  "  You  will  marry  to-morrow,  I  expect." 

"  Yes,  to-morrow,  good  mother." 

Next  morning,  before  the  sun  was  hot,  a  cart  with 
all  the  bridegroom's  belongings  arrived  at  the  bride's 
house,     the     young     man     himself    leading     the     way, 


22  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

returning  with  smiles  the  good  wishes  of  the 
neighbours,  who  stood  on  their  verandahs  to  see 
him  pass,  the  bullock-cart  squeaking  and  groaning 
behind    him. 

Mah  Pan,  the  bride,  wore  her  best  tamein,  a  white 
silk  jacket,  and  a  new  pink  silk  handkerchief  about  her 
shoulders,  carefully  arranged  that  it  might  not  hide  her 
necklet. 

Pho  Lone,  the  bridegroom,  stepped  into  the  house, 
where  he  was  greeted  by  his  father-in-law  with  the 
words,  "The  rice  is  ready,  my  son."  Meanwhile,  the 
bride's  mother  has  set  on  the  floor  a  new  lacquer  tray 
with  a  little  boiled  rice. 

Pho  Lone,  sitting,  ate  a  mouthful,  and  Mah  Pan, 
taking  her  place  beside  him,  did  the  same.  They 
smiled  at  one  another. 

"  It  is  done,"  said  the  headman  ;  "  they  are  man 
and  wife." 

At  night,  the  young  bachelors  came  and  silently 
threw  stones  thick  and  fast  upon  the  thatch,  just  to 
prove  their  envy. 

Irish  "  wakes,"  we  know,  are  far  from  dismal  affairs, 
but  no  one  ever  heard  of  their  being  turned  into  occa- 
sions for  courtship  and  love-making  in  a  public  manner, 
and  by  a  considerable  number  of  young  people.  Collec- 
tive courtship,  however,  appears  to  be  the  distinguishing 
characteristic  of  funerals  among  the  Karens.  These  are 
a  people  who  live,  for  the  most  part,  among  the  moun- 
tains of  Burma,  though  some  of  them  have  come  down 


A  Burmese  Bride  and  Bridegroom. 
From  a  Photograph  by  Surgeon-  Captain  McDermott. 


KARENS  23 

to  the  plains.  Under  ordinary  circumstances  they  are 
a  quiet  and  peaceable  people,  but  one  branch  of  them, 
the  Red  Karens,  are  the  most  brutal  savages,  committing 
every  atrocity  except  cannibahsm. 

When  one  of  the  Karens  dies,  the  probability  is  that 
his  relations  are  too  much  engrossed  in  other  matters 
to  conduct  the  funeral  rites  and  ceremonies.  Perhaps 
the  harvest  has  not  been  gathered  in,  or  the  weather  is 
too  cold  or  too  wet,  in  which  case  the  girls  would  not 
think  of  turning  out  in  their  finery,  as  they  are  wont  to 
do  on  these  occasions,  that  they  may  be  wooed  collec- 
tively by  the  village  swains.  To  the  western  mind  this 
might  seem  rather  an  awkward  dilemma,  but  the  Karens 
have  solved  the  difficulty  in  a  delightfully  simple  manner. 
The  man  is  buried  temporarily,  to  be  dug  up  again  and 
"waked"  at  some  more  convenient  season!  Therefore, 
when  a  Karen  dies,  he  is  promptly  stowed  away  in  a 
hole  in  the  ground,  and  the  spot  marked  by  stakes  or 
a  fence  of  cactus.  If  a  rich  man,  his  body  is  burned 
— a  safer  plan,  because  the  dogs  cannot  then  get  at  it. 
The  final  ceremony  may  take  place  within  six  months, 
if  there  are  a  large  number  of  young  women  waiting  to 
be  married  ;  but  otherwise  there  may  be  a  delay  of  two 
or  three  years,  or  even  more  ! 

When  the  time  has  at  last  arrived,  a  platform  of 
bamboo  is  erected  in  front  of  the  house  where  the 
deceased  lived,  and  his  bones  are  dug  out  of  their 
temporary  grave.  On  this  platform,  or  stage, 
barbarously  adorned  with  pieces  of  cloth,  a  linen 
sheet     is     placed,    on     which     the     remains     are     laid. 


24  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

People  from  neighbouring  villages  come  in  large 
niimhers  ;  hut,  although  certain  funeral  rites  are 
I'lerformed,  these  are  postponed  till  the  yoiuig  men 
and  maidens  have  done  their  courting  and  chosen 
their  jiartners  for  life.  And  so  the  occasion  partakes 
more  of  the  nature  of  a  public  courting  than  of  a 
funeral.  I'he  proceedings  are  somewhat  after  this 
fashion.  The  young  men  and  the  girls  separate  into 
two  choirs  and  seat  themselves  on  opposite  sides  of 
the  remains,  l*"amily  jewels  are  displayed  in  great 
profusion.  The  young  men  begin  with  a  chorus 
celebrating  the  beauties  of  the  Karen  maidens,  their 
charm  of  movement,  and  modest  demeanour.  To 
this  the  girls  respond  in  a  falsetto  of  the  usual 
drawling  character,  accepting  the  eulogy  of  their 
graces.  These  overtures  are  usually  set  pieces,  handed 
down  from  anti(]uity,  or  rendered  into  the  Karen 
tongue  from  some  }-)opular  Burmese  play.  I'hen  the 
young  bachelors  begin,  each  in  turn,  and  sing  love- 
stricken  solos,  calling  on  the  name  of  some  particular 
damsel.  Among  an  Eastern  and  poetic  people,  flowery 
language  is  only  what  might  be  expected  on  such  an 
occasion  ;  so  we  need  not  be  surprised  to  learn  that  the 
girl  is  compared  to  a  star,  a  flower,  or  a  ruby.  No 
painter  ccnild  possibly  do  justice  to  her  charms  ;  she 
would  ruin  the  peace  of  mind  of  a  hermit!  When 
rejected,  the  suitor  becomes  plaintive — perhaps  in  the 
belief  that  ''pity  is  akin  to  love" — saying  that  he  can 
neither  eat  noi-  drink,  and  will  assuretlly  die  before  the 
morning!      Par    from    feeling    embarassed,    the    Karen 


SIAM  25 

maidens  appear  to  be  pleased  at  such  expressions  of 
devotion.  Their  answers  are  usually  of  a  somewhat 
stereotyped  character.  The  girl  will  declare  that  it  is 
a  shameful  thing  not  to  be  married,  but  that  to  be 
divorced  afterwards  is  much  worse — "  to  be  like  a 
dress  that  has  been  washed."  Another  will  declare 
that  she  is  not  going  to  give  herself  away  too  cheaply. 
She  lets  the  suitor  know  that  she  is  not  like  a  day  dim 
with  the  heat-haze,  nor  like  a  diamond  that  has  lost 
the  foil  below  to  set  it  off,  nor  like  a  peacock's  tail 
draggled  in  the  wet.  All  this  means  that  the  wrong 
man  has  applied,  and  the  lucky  swain  will  be  a  great 
fool  if  her  eyes  do  not  let  him  know  that,  when  his 
turn  comes,  the  answer  will  be  favourable.  A  girl 
seldom  says  "No"  outright;  they  prefer  a  more 
indirect  and  less  crushing  mode  of  refusal,  expressed 
in  some  such  terms  as  "  Come  to  me  when  the  full 
moon  appears  on  the  first  day  of  the  month,"  or  "  Eat 
your  rice  before  it  is  cooked  and  come  before  daylight." 
But  these  cases  are  exceptional  ;  for,  as  a  rule,  the  girl 
has  made  up  her  mind  which  young  man  she  will 
accept,  and  the  others  will  look  elsewhere.  The  young 
people  have  met  before,  and  so  matters  are  considerably 
simplified.  When  all  the  courting  is  over,  they  retire 
and  are  married  forthwith.  Then  the  elders  go  on 
with  the  funeral  rites  ! 

Marriages  in  Siam  take  place  at  an  early  age.  An 
English  traveller,  Sir  P.  J.  Bowring,  states  that  he  has 
seen   as  many  as   five  generations  gathered  round  the 


26  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

head  of  a  family!  As  in  India  and  China,  "go- 
betweens  "  or  "  match-makers  "  are  employed.  A  wed- 
ding procession  in  this  country  is  a  very  picturesque 
affair,  and  one  which  might  well  tempt  an  artist  to 
choose  the  subject  for  his  canvas.  When  the  negotia- 
tions have  been  nearly  completed,  the  bridegroom  travels 
by  water  to  the  house  of  the  bride-elect  in  a  large 
boat,  gaily  adorned  with  flags,  and  laden  with  presents, 
such  as  garments  for  his  future  wife,  plates,  fruits,  betel- 
nut,  &c.  In  the  centre  is  a  huge  cake,  in  the  form  of 
a  pyramid,  and  decorated  with  bright  colours.  The 
musicians  on  board  play  as  the  boat  glides  along. 
Arrived  at  his  destination  he  lands,  makes  his  way  to 
the  house  in  order  to  make  the  final  arrangements 
and  fix  the  happy  day.  There  is  no  religious  cere- 
mony :  only  a  great  feast,  at  which  the  musicians 
again  perform. 

Among  the  Jakun  tribes  of  the  Malay  Peninsula 
an  entertainment  takes  place  on  the  wedding-day  at 
the  house  of  the  bride's  father,  where  the  whole  tribe 
are  assembled.  The  dowry,  given  by  the  man,  is 
delivered  in  their  presence.  A  dance  follows,  in  the 
midst  of  which  the  bride-elect  darts  off  into  the  forest, 
followed  by  the  bridegroom  ;  a  chase  ensues,  during 
which,  should  he  fall  down  or  return  without  her, 
the  match  is  declared  to  be  "  off,"  and  the  unhappy 
youth  meets  with  nothing  but  jeers  from  the  whole 
party.  But,  if  the  tribe  should  happen  to  live  on  the 
shores  of  a  lake,  the  damsel   is   given   a  canoe  and  a 


SINAMBAU    DYAKS  27 

paddle,  and  allowed  a  start  of  some  distance.  The 
lover  then  goes  off"  in  pursuit,  and  he  must  overtake 
her,  or  give  up  all  claim  to  her  hand.  The  girl,  it 
need  hardly  be  remarked,  usually  knows  her  own  mind, 
and  becomes  a  willing  captive.  Sometimes  there  is 
no  stream  or  lake  conveniently  near  ;  in  that  case  a 
circle  is  formed,  the  damsel  is  stripped  of  all  but 
a  waistband,  and  given  a  start  of  half  the  circle.  She 
must  run  three  times  round  without  being  caught,  or 
else  become  the  man's  wife. 

Among  the  Sinambau  Dyaks  of  Borneo  there  are 
ways  of  courting  not  unknown  in  European  countries. 
For  instance,  when  a  young  girl  has  taken  the  fancy  of 
some  man,  he  shows  his  preference  by  helping  her  in 
her  daily  labour  in  a  chivalrous  manner  only  too  rare 
in  Eastern  countries.  One  day  he  will  carry  a  load  of 
wood  for  her ;  another  day  he  performs  some  other 
useful  t3,sk.  Occasionally  she  receives  a  present  from 
her  admirer.  When  this  state  of  affairs  has  lasted  for 
some  time,  he  resolves  to  declare  his  passion  ;  for 
this  purpose  he  steals  out  at  night  to  the  house  where 
his  lady-love  lives,  and  gentlv  awakes  her  as  she 
sleeps.  Her  parents  sleep  in  the  same  room  ;  and  if 
they  approve  of  the  suitor  take  no  notice,  pretending 
to  be  asleep.  If  they  have  any  objection  to  him  he  is 
promptly  told  to  depart.  He  brings  with  him  betel 
nuts  and  other  food.  Should  the  young  woman  accept 
these,  it  is  equivalent  to  saying  she  fancies  him  ;  but 
if  it  is  otherwise,  she  tells  him  to  stir  the  fire,  or  to 


28  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

light  the   lamp,  which  is  only  a  polite  way  of  bidding 
him  beat  a  retreat. 

The  marriage  ceremony  opens  with  a  little  bit  of 
symbolism.  The  bride  and  bridegroom  are  brought 
out  and  made  to  sit  on  two  bars  of  iron  previously  laid 
down  on  the  ground.  This  act  implies  that  the  two 
are  being  bound  together  with  the  iron  band  of 
matrimony.  The  priest  gives  to  each  a  cigar  and 
and  some  betel  nuts,  which  they  hold  in  their  hands 
while  he  waves  two  fowls  over  their  heads,  and  in  the 
course  of  a  lengthy  address  invokes  every  blessing 
upon  them.  The  bridegroom  then  places  the  betel  nut 
in  the  mouth  of  the  bride,  and  the  cigar  between  her 
lips,  and  in  this  way  he  publicly  acknowledges  her  to  be 
his  wife.  The  two  fowls  are  then  killed,  and  omens 
taken  from  their  blood.  As  among  the  Kaffirs  and 
others,  the  husband  must  never  pronounce  the  name  of 
his  father-in-law. 

Among  the  Aheta  of  the  Philippine  Islands,  when 
a  man  wishes  to  marry  a  girl,  her  parents  send  her 
before  sunrise  into  the  woods.  She  has  about  an 
hour's  start,  after  which  the  lover  goes  off  to  seek 
her.  If  he  succeed  in  finding  her  and  bringing  her 
back  before  sunset,  the  marriage  is  acknowledged.  If 
not,   he  must  abandon   all   claim  to  her. 

These  are  not  to  be  regarded  as  instances  of 
"  marriage  by  capture  "  pure  and  simple,  as  we  see  it 
at  the  present  day  among  the  Esquimaux  or  the 
aboriginal   Australians,  but  as   ceremonies  in   imitation 


THE   AHETA  29 

of  it  and,  as  it  were,  commemorating  the  days 
when  it  actually  did  take  place.  We  shall  see 
how  mock  combats  take  place  among  the  Druse 
people  of  Palestine  and  elsewhere.  Examples  might 
easily  be  multiplied.  Thus,  with  the  greater  part  of 
the  nomads  of  Central  Asia,  and  especially  Turcomans, 
the  young  girl,  clothed  in  her  bridal  costume,  mounts 
a  horse,  and  gallops  off  with  a  lamb  or  kid  just  killed 
at  the  saddle.  The  man  and  his  party  pursue  her 
on  horseback  in  hot  haste,  while  she  endeavours  to 
out-distance  them,  and  prevent  them  seizing  the 
animal  she  has  with  her. 


CHAPTER    II 

China 

'  I  'HE  Jives  of  the  Celestials,  as  the  Chinese  style 
^  themselves,  are  very  much  ruled  and  influenced 
by  certain  notions  with  regard  to  spirits  and  the  spirit- 
world.  Their  passionate  desire  for  male  children  is 
essentially  a  religious  sentiment.  Not  only  do  they 
consider,  as  the  Jews  of  old  did,  that  a  man  with  a 
large  family  is  highly  blessed,  but  they  believe  that 
the  spirits  of  the  departed  are  rendered  happy  by  the 
homage  received  at  the  hands  of  their  male  posterity. 
The  worship  of  ancestors  and  parents  is  a  very  essen- 
tial part  of  their  religion,  and  particularly  interesting 
as  illustrating  a  primitive  phase  in  religious  ideas.  The 
young  people  are  taught  that  it  is  a  sacred  duty  to 
marry  and  bring  up  children,  i.e.,  ?nale  children.  At 
first  sight  this  seems  all  very  well  ;  but  unfortunately 
it  is  one  of  the  reasons  why  the  rich  are  allowed  to 
have  more  than  one  wife — a  custom  undoubtedly 
tending  towards  that  degradation  of  women  which  is 
one  of  the  saddest  features  of  Chinese  life.  Parents 
expect  all  their  children  to  marry,  whatever  may  be 
the    state   of  their    health.      Archdeacon   Gray,   in   his 


CHINA  31 

well-known  "  History  of  China,"  records  the  case  of  a 
young  man  belonging  to  a  most  influential  family  in 
Canton,  whose  parents  were  informed  by  the  family 
physician  that  he  had  but  a  very  short  time  to  live. 
They  therefore  at  once  selected  a  day  for  his  marriage. 
On  that  day  his  bride-elect  was  brought  to  the  house 
with  all  the  pomp  and  parade  attending  a  wedding. 
The  ceremony  was  no  sooner  over  than  the  bridegroom 
was  led  back  to  his  sick  chamber  where,  in  a  few  days, 
he  died. 

The  Chinese  now  marry  very  young,  though  this 
appears  to  be  contrary  to  the  usages  of  antiquity  and 
their  Book  of  Rites.  Here  it  is  laid  down  that  a  man 
at  twenty  is  not  at  his  best  ;  his  reason  is  not  fully 
developed — a  truth  which  seems  obvious  enough,  when 
we  remember  what  undergraduates  at  our  own  Univer- 
sities are  at  this  age.  The  age  recommended  is  thirty. 
At  forty  a  man  may  be  a  magistrate  in  a  small  way  ; 
and  at  fifty  he  may  be  entrusted  with  some  very 
responsible  post.  No  lady  may  marry  until  she  is 
fourteen  years  of  age,  but  to  be  still  unmarried  at 
twenty-three  is  considered  very  wrong.  It  is  a  com- 
mon thing  for  parents  to  arrange  marriages  for  their 
children  during  infancy :  and  there  are  cases  where  two 
friends  make  a  solemn  promise,  or  take  an  oath,  to 
unite  in  marriage  the  children  of  different  sexes  that 
may  be  born  to  them.  It  may  perhaps  be  thought  that 
such  an  arrangement  is  entirely  unknown  in  our  own 
country,  but  such  is  not  the  case,  for  the  writer  has 
been  informed  on  very  good  authority  that  the  famous 


32  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

naturalist  Waterton  married  the  daughter  of  an 
intimate  friend,  to  whom  he  was  pledged  before  her 
birth  !  The  marriage  was  a  happy  one  while  it  lasted, 
but  Mrs.  Waterton  died  a  year  or  so  afterwards. 

A  mandarin  is  not  allowed  to  marry  a  woman  in  the 
province  over  which  he  bears  rule.  This  law  was  made 
to  prevent  one  family  from  obtaining  undue  influence 
over  other  families  in  the  same  district.  Should  he 
disobey  this  rule,  or  even  take  a  secondary  wife  in 
his  own  district,  the  marriage  is  forthwith  declared 
void,  and,  what  is  worse,  he  is  "  liable  "  to  receive 
eighty  blows  with  the  stick  !  Whether  he  actually 
receives  so  degrading  a  punishment,  for  a  man  of  his 
rank,  we  will  not  undertake  to  say.  The  rule  may  be 
"  more  honoured  in  the  breach  than  in  the  observance," 
and  official  life  is  so  corrupt  that  he  can  probably  find 
some  back-door  way  of  escape.  Actors,  policemen, 
boatmen,  and  slaves,  are  forbidden  to  marry  out  of 
their  own  class.  Men  and  women  may  not  marry 
during  the  time  of  mourning  for  a  relative.  Marriages 
take  place  at  all  times  of  the  year,  but  the  eighth 
month  is  considered  the  most  favourable.  There  is 
therefore  a  marriage  season,  as  in  India.  When  this 
time  comes  round,  books  containing  songs  in  honour 
of  matrimony  are  to  be  seen  in  the  bookstalls.  The 
Chinese  appear  to  be  firm  believers  in  the  doctrine 
that  "  marriages  are  made  in  heaven  "  ;  the  reason  for 
this  probably  lies  in  the  fiict  that  they  are  thorough 
fatalists,  and  so  it  seems  to  them  quite  credible  that 
parents,  in  arranging  the  marriages  of  their  children, 


CHINA  33 

are  acting  under  the  influence  of  fate  or  the  will  of 
heaven. 

Occasionally  it  happens  that,  when  a  marriage  has 
been  arranged  for  a  young  man  by  his  family,  the 
parents  of  the  affianced  lady  delay  to  make  the 
necessary  arrangements  for  the  wedding — perhaps  on 
account  of  their  poverty.  The  would-be  bridegroom 
becomes  impatient,  and,  if  he  considers  that  there  is 
no  good  reason  for  such  delay,  takes  the  law  (or  rather 
the  girl)  into  his  own  hands,  and  carries  her  off  by 
main  force.  Thus  we  have  another  relic  of  the  ancient 
usage  of  "marriage  by  capture."  Certain  relatives,  or 
trusty  friends,  go  with  him,  to  help  if  their  aid  should 
be  required.  He  must  do  it  himself,  and  so,  having 
obtained  an  ordinary  sedan  chair,  he  lies  in  wait  near 
her  house.  A  blanket  is  also  considered  necessary,  and 
this  is  thrown  over  her  as  soon  as  she  appears  on  the 
scene — possibly  "  by  request."  Having  thus  seized  his 
bride,  he  quickly  makes  off  to  his  own  home.  No  one 
interferes,  unless  it  be  her  parents  or  brothers,  but  they 
only  do  so  in  a  half-hearted  kind  of  way.  The  young 
people  are  betrothed,  so  it  is  all  right. 

In  some  cases  a  mere  hint  of  abduction  is  sufficient 
to  bring  the  reluctant  parents  to  terms.  On  the  arrival 
of  the  bride  at  her  new  home,  the  wedding  is  celebrated 
much  iii  the  usual  way.  There  is,  however,  a  danger 
lest  he  should  carry  off  the  wrong  girl,  especially  as  the 
marriages  are  all  arranged  by  match-makers.  It  is  highly 
necessary  for  him  to  be  careful,  for  a  mistake  of  that 
sort  would  lead  to  prosecution  and  a  heavy  punishment. 

4 


34  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

Although,  as  a  rule,  marriages  in  China  are  arranged 
between  the  respective  famiUes,  and,  in  many  cases,  the 
bridegroom  never  sees  his  wife  until  the  marriage  day, 
yet  every  rule  has  its  exceptions.  Love-matches  and  what 
we  call  run-away  marriages  are  not  altogether  unknown. 
Betrothed  young  ladies  have  been  bold  enough  to 
elope  with  some  other  swain  ;  it  may  be  the  son  of  a 
next-door  neighbour  who  has  already  won  the  girl's 
admiration — perhaps  even  her  heart.  But,  alas  !  the 
penalties  of  the  prison-house  await  them  if  they  are 
discovered.  Considering  how  marriages  are  usually 
made,  it  is  not  surprising  to  find  that  peace  and 
harmony  seldom  reign  at  home.  To  say  nothing 
of  the  many  causes  of  jealousy  and  discord  arising 
from  the  presence  of  several  secondary  wives — ^except 
among  the  poor — it  must  be  evident  that  two  people 
who,  before  marriage,  were  total  strangers  to  each 
other,  cannot  be  expected  to  live  in  perfect  happiness 
together.  The  poor  women  have  indeed  much  to  bear. 
They  live  in  great  subjection  to  their  masters,  who 
often  become  fearful  tyrants.  In  some  parts  of  the 
country,  a  man  is  so  afraid  of  being  considered 
"mild"  that  he  will  even  beat  his  wife  in  public, 
just  by  way  of  showing  to  his  friends  and  neighbours 
that  he  means  to  be  master  in  his  own  house.  The 
Abbe  Hue,  who  was  a  Jesuit  missionary  in  China  for 
many  years,  and  had  special  opportunities  for  studying 
the  people  and  their  ways,  says  that  he  once  saw  a 
young  woman  covered  with  blood  and  apparently 
dying.      On     making     inquiries,    he    learned    that    her 


CHINA  35 

husband  had  been  beating  her  because  he  imagined 
that  the  neighbours  were  laughing  at  him  for  not 
having  done  so  before. 

With  regard  to  jealousy  and  intrigues,  Archdeacon 
Gray  confirms  the  testimony  of  M.  Hue.  "  Many 
indeed,"  he  says,  "  are  the  heartrending  scenes  which 
I  have  witnessed  in  such  homes."  Upon  the  false 
accusation  of  a  rival,  the  Chinese  husband  frequently 
expels  a  wife  from  his  house,  or  sells  her  to  some  one 
else.  A  few  young  women  are  so  keenly  alive  to  the 
hideous  wrongs  inflicted  on  their  sex  that,  with  a 
courage  which  is  much  to  be  admired,  they  altogether 
refuse  to  enter  the  bonds  of  matrimony.  The  same 
missionary  says  that  in  one  street  in  a  suburb  of 
Canton,  he  knew  four  families  in  which  there  were 
ladies  who  refused  to  marry.  Some  become  nuns, 
others  even  commit  suicide.  For  example,  during  the 
reign  of  Taou-kwang,  fifteen  girls  who  were  betrothed, 
met  together  and  resolved  to  die.  They  flung  them- 
selves into  a  tributary  stream  of  the  Canton  River  near 
the  village  where  they  lived.  Their  tomb,  near  Fo- 
chune,  is  called  "the  tomb  of  the  virgins."  In  1873 
eight  young  girls,  arrayed  in  their  best  attire,  similarly 
put  an  end  to  their  lives  in  the  darkness  of  the  night. 
It  is  very  likely  that  within  the  last  thirty  years  or 
more,  things  may  have  somewhat  improved  owing  to 
contact  with  European  nations,  and  perhaps  the  in- 
fluence of  missionaries.  But  there  can  be  little  doubt 
that  when  M.  Hue  wrote  his  experiences  some  thirty 
years  ago,  the  lot  of   most  Chinese  women  was  very 


36  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

unhappy.  These  are  his  words,  "  The  condition  of 
Chinese  women  is  most  pitiable  ;  suffering,  privation, 
contempt,  all  kinds  of  misery  and  degradation,  seize  on 
her  in  the  cradle,  and  accompany  her  to  the  tomb. 
Her  birth  is  commonly  regarded  as  a  humiliation  and 
a  disgrace  to  the  family — an  evident  sign  of  the 
malediction  of  Heaven.  If  she  be  not  immediately 
suffocated,  a  girl  is  regarded  and  treated  as  a  creature 
radically  despicable,  and  scarcely  belonging  to  the 
human  race." 

The  principle  of  co-operation,  or  mutual  help,  is  not 
unknown  in  the  Celestial  Empire,  where  both  weddings 
and  funerals  often  involve  poor  people  in  a  ruinous 
expense.  When  a  family  cannot  command  enough 
ready  money  to  pay  the  cost  of  a  wedding  properly 
conducted  in  a  style  suitable  to  its  social  position, 
a  kind  of  Society  is  formed  for  the  purpose  of 
collecting  the  necessary  amount.  A  friend,  or  relative, 
interested  in  the  case  "  takes  the  hat  round,"  as  we 
should  say.  The  old  English  and  Scotch  "  Penny 
Wedding "  was  also  conducted  on  the  principle  of 
mutual  help  (see  Scotland,  p.   318). 

On  the  Canton  and  other  rivers  a  large  population 
lives  on  floating  islands  of  timber,  or  reeds  skilfully 
twisted  together.  These  people  are  possibly  of  a 
different  race,  but  their  origin  is  involved  in  obscurity. 
By  the  Chinese  they  are  looked  upon  as  "  outsiders," 
or  pariahs  ;  their  children  are  not  allowed  to  attend 
the  usual  examinations.  Their  women  are  called 
Suee-Kiy  cr  water-fowl  ;   but,  nevertheless,  the  despised 


CHINA  37 

women  are  of  much  finer  physique.  The  marriages 
of  these  people  are  attended  with  much  religious 
observance.  Priests  attend  for  three  days  and  three 
nights  chanting  prayers  to  "  the  Nine  Kings,"  to  whom 
the  children  are  dedicated  shortly  after  birth.  There 
is  a  great  deal  of  feasting,  and  the  parents  of  the 
bridegroom  will  spend  the  savings  of  several  years 
on  such  an  occasion. 

Among  the  upper  classes  in  China  there  are  at  least 
six  principal  rites  connected  with  marriage,  but  with 
the  poor  there  is  less  of  ceremony.  The  first  thing 
is  to  arrange  for  the  marriage.  This  is  done  by 
go-betweens  in  a  manner  to  be  described  presently. 
Secondly,  the  name  of  the  young  lady,  as  well  as  the 
day  and  month  of  her  birth,  must  be  inquired  of  her 
parents.  Thirdly,  diviners  must  be  consulted  in  order 
to  report  a  happy  augury  to  the  parents  of  the  girl. 
Fourthly,  presents  are  sent  as  pledges  of  the  young 
man's  intention.  Fifthly,  the  wedding  day  is  ap- 
pointed ;  and  lastly  the  bride  must  be  conducted  in 
procession  to  the  bridegroom's  house.  These  are  only 
the  preliminaries,  for  the  actual  marriage  ceremonies, 
all  regulated  by  a  code  of  observances  from  which  no 
departure  is  allowed,  have  yet  to  be  performed.  The 
missives  which  are  sent  from  one  family  to  another 
show  how  accomplished  the  Chinese  are  in  the  art  of 
polite  letter-writing.  Thus,  according  to  the  Abbe 
Hue  in  his  "  Chinese  Empire,"  the  father,  when  the 
name  of  his  daughter  is  asked,  is  required  to  answer  in 
the  following  manner  : — 


38  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

"  I  have  received  with  respect  the  marks  of  your 
goodness.  The  choice  that  you  deign  to  make  of  my 
daughter  to  become  the  wife  of  your  son  shows  me 
that  you  esteem  my  poor  and  cold  family  more  than 
it  deserves.  My  daughter  is  coarse  and  stupid,  and  I 
have  not  had  the  talent  to  bring  her  up  well  ;  yet  I 
shall  nevertheless  glory  in  obeying  you  on  this  occa- 
sion. You  will  find  written  on  another  page  the  name 
of  my  daughter,  and  that  of  her  mother,  with  the  day 
of  her  birth." 

When  he  receives  the  presents  and  the  information 
that  a  day  is  fixed  for  the  wedding,  the  young  man's 
father  replies  in  these  terms  : — 

"  I  have  received  your  last  resolution.  You  wish 
this  marriage  to  take  place,  and  I  am  only  sorry  that 
my  daughter  has  so  little  merit,  and  that  she  has  not 
had  all  the  education  desirable.  I  fear  she  is  good  for 
nothing  ;  yet,  nevertheless,  since  the  augury  is  favour- 
able, I  dare  not  disobey  you.  I  accept  your  present, 
I  salute  you,  and  I  consent  to  the  day  appointed  for 
the  wedding.  I  will  take  care  to  make  due  prepara- 
tion." 

These  polite  letters  are  of  such  peculiar  interest,  and 
so  different  from  our  modern  matter-of-fact  epistles, 
that  we  venture  to  put  before  the  reader  another 
specimen,  couched  in  very  flowery  language.  It  is 
given  by  Archdeacon  Gray  as  a  specimen,  and  is  one 
of  two  such  documents  which  fell  into  his  hands.  His 
translation  of  it  is  as  follows  : — 

"  1  he  sun   has  long  since  risen,  and  the  brightness 


CHINA  39 

of  his  rays  illumines  the  house  wherein  resides  the  fair. 
At  this  hour,  too,  she,  hke  the  sun,  has  left  her  couch 
and  attired  herself  in  a  costume  becoming  the  hour  of 
the  day,  and  her  rank   and  station  in  life.     Her  face 
has  gazed  upon  the  mirror,  which  has  reflected  back 
upon  her  the  beautiful  features  of  which  it  is  possessed. 
Indeed,  all  nature  has  now  assumed  a  beautiful  aspect, 
and   all   creatures,   as   is  designed   by  nature,  are    now 
pairing.      I    write   this   as    an   evidence   of   my  respect 
and   devotion.     Permit    me,  therefore,  respectfully    to 
congratulate  you,  my  venerable  relative,  whose  honour- 
able family  has  resided  for  so  many  ages  in  Seng-Moon, 
or  Yut  Hoee,  where  its  respected  members  have  ever 
been  distinguished  for  their  literary  attainments,  their 
essays    being    written    in    a  style    almost    unparalleled. 
Further,    the     essay    of    your    son    in     particular     has 
obtained     for     him     high     literary    honours  ;     but     no 
wonder,  as    your   ancestors   were   one    and   all   men  of 
distinction,  and  your  descendants,  therefore,  cannot  be 
otherwise    than   men   of   renown.     Your   own    rank   is 
also  great,  and   your  son  will  prove  a  worthy  successor 
of  the  same.     I,  for  my  part,  have  been  from  boyhood 
slothful  and  indigent.      I  wander  through  the  world  as 
one  without  any  fixed  purpose,  and  the  rank  which  I 
hold   is  of  a  degree  more   honourable  than  I  deserve. 
Your  daughter  is  gentle  and  virtuous,  and  as  for  my 
son,  he  is  so  weak  in  intellect   as  to  be  unworthy  of 
her.     But,  as    you,  upon    hearing    the    words    of  the 
match-maker,    or    go-between,    thought    him    worthy, 
and    at   once  consented   to   the  engagement,  it  is  only 


40  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

right  that  the  union  should  take  place.  There  will  be 
unbroken  friendship  between  me  and  you  after  the 
celebration  of  the  marriaore  rites  of  our  children. 
This  is  the  day  appointed  for  me  to  give,  and  for  you 
to  receive  the  customary  presents.  I  therefore  beg  to 
forward  them  herewith.  They  are,  however,  of  a  very 
ordinary  kind,  and  of  no  value.  Indeed,  I  only 
forward  to  you,  together  with  a  few  simple  things,  a 
wooden  hairpin,  and  I  am  in  truth  ashamed  that  I  have 
no  jewels,  precious  stones,  and  silk  fabrics  to  present. 
You  will,  I  am  sure,  readily  excuse  me.  When  these, 
the  preliminary  ceremonies,  have  been  observed,  we 
shall  anxiously  await  the  wedding-day." 

The  period  immediately  preceding  the  happy  (.^)  day 
is  one  of  lamentation  for  the  bride  elect,  her  sisters, 
lady  friends,  and  attendants.  She  must  frequently 
declare  that  the  thought  of  leaving  her  parents  is 
more  than  she  can  bear  ;  death  itself  would  be 
preferable  !  And  when  we  consider  what  Chinese 
wives  have  to  put  up  with,  these  demonstrations  of 
grief  may,  after  all,  be  partly  genuine.  Ten  to  fifteen 
days  is  the  time  usually  allowed  for  such  an  expression 
of  filial  love,  but  sometimes  it  is  prolonged  for  a  whole 
month.  The  Jewish  people  of  old  had  a  similar  custom, 
as  the  following  text  will  show:  "And  she  shall  put 
the  raiment  of  her  captivity  from  off  her,  and  shall 
remain  in  thine  house,  and  bewail  her  father  and 
her  mother  a  full    month"   (Deut.   xxi.    13). 

On  the  night  preceding  a  wedding  the  young  lady's 
attendants  make  such  loud  demonstrations  of  grief  as 


CHINA  41 

to  disturb  many  of  their  neighbours.  On  some  lucky 
day  her  parents  send  the  trousseau  and  many  articles 
of  furniture  to  the  bridegroom's  house.  This  is  done 
with  considerable  ostentation,  for  the  father  is  anxious 
that  everybody  should  be  made  aware  of  his  generosity. 
The  things  are  carried  in  procession  through  the  streets 
by  men  in  red  tunics.  On  the  marriage  day  a  wedding 
breakfast  is  prepared  at  the  young  man's  house.  Tables 
are  arranged  at  the  east  and  west  sides  of  the  dining- 
hall.  Four  wine  cups,  usually  made  of  gourds,  are 
placed  on  a  table  near  the  door  of  the  house.  These 
are  called  hop  kun,  or  "  uniting  cups."  Another 
table  in  the  courtyard  contains  refreshments  for  the 
bridegroom,  who  now  appears  in  the  visitors'  hall. 
Here  he  kneels  down  and  bows  to  his  father,  knocking 
his  head  on  the  ground  six  times,  receives  at  his  hands 
a  cup  of  wine,  and  is  told  to  send  for  his  bride  in  the 
following  words  :  "  Go,  my  son,  and  seek  your  wife, 
and  behave  in  all  things  with  prudence  and  wisdom." 
Years  ago  the  young  man  went  to  fetch  his  bride,  or 
met  her  procession  on  the  way  to  his  house  ;  but  this 
is  rarely  done  now.  So  he  merely  sends  the  palanquin, 
or  sedan-chair,  which  is  often  richly  carved  and  highly 
ornamented,  and  always  coloured  red.  It  is  brought 
to  her  house  (sometimes  on  the  preceding  day)  in  a  gay 
procession  of  servants  and  musicians.  Various  emblems 
are  here  used,  each  of  which  has  an  appropriate  mean- 
ing. One  is  a  small  orange-tree  heavily  laden  with 
fruit,  and  with  strings  of  money  hanging  from  its 
branches,   emblematical    of  a   large   family   and    much 


42  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

worldly  wealth.  A  picture  of  the  kee-liin,  a  fabulous 
quadruped,  is  borne  under  a  canopy,  and  very  often  it 
figures  upon  the  bride's  chair  also.  This  beast,  they 
say,  always  appears  when  a  "  wise  man  "  is  born  ;  and 
so  it  is  hoped  that  a  sage  may  be  born  from  the  union. 
Other  signs  are  a  goose  and  a  gander,  emblematic  of 
conjugal  faithfulness  (compare  the  Japanese  two  phea- 
sants), and  a  dolphin,  which  means  wealth  and  rank. 
Men  in  red  tunics  carry  red  boards  on  poles  displaying 
in  letters  of  gold  the  titles  of  the  bride  and  bridegroom's 
ancestors.  Some  of  the  attendants  carry  torches,  others 
large  red  lanterns  containing  lighted  candles  (lights  are 
believed  to  keep  away  evil  spirits)  and  red  umbrellas 
and  fans.     It  is  a  picturesque  affair. 

Since  marriage  is  held  in  such  high  honour,  every 
one  must  make  way  for  the  procession,  even  man- 
darins ;  any  one   who  does  not  is  liable  to  be  beaten. 

"  The  friend  of  the  bridegroom,"  or  "  best  man,"  as 
we  should  say,  bears  a  letter  written  on  red  paper  to 
the  bride,  bidding  her  come.  This  she  must  carefully 
keep  ;  it  is  regarded  much  as  "  marriage  lines  "  are 
with  us.  The  bride  enters  the  visitors'  hall,  where  her 
parents  are  waiting  for  her.  To  them  she  makes 
obeisance  (or  performs  the  koiv-tow)  ;  a  cup  of  wine 
is  given  her,  out  of  which  she  drinks,  first  pouring  out 
a  ^itw  drops  as  a  libation,  after  the  manner  of  the 
Greeks  and  Romans.  While  still  kneeling,  the  father 
exhorts  her  to  obey  the  commands  of  her  father  and 
mother-in-law,  and  holds  forth  on  the  duties  of 
husbands    and    wives.       The    mother    does    the    same 


o 


CHINA  43 

thing,  saying,  "  Take  courage,  daughter,  and  be  always 
submissive  to  the  will  of  your  husband."  She  may 
well  speak  of  courage,  for  it  must  require  no  small 
degree  of  fortitude  on  the  part  of  the  poor  little  bride 
to  face  the  life  of  submission  that  now  lies  before  her  ! 
Then  the  father  goes  to  the  door  to  receive  the  bride- 
groom's friend,  who  enters,  holding  a  goose  in  each  hand. 
The  bride  retires  to  her  chamber  and  presently  appears 
veiled  in  red  silk,  so  that  her  features  are  invisible. 
She  enters  the  chair,  escorted  by  female  attendants,  and 
the  bridal  procession  proceeds  with  much  demonstration 
and  noise — shall  we  say  music  ? — to  the  house  of  the 
bridegroom.  On  her  arrival  the  man  who  will  soon  be 
her  husband  taps  with  his  fan  at  the  door  of  the  chair 
or  palanquin,  the  bridesmaids,  or  female  attendants, 
open  it,  and  voila  !  the  bride  steps  out,  but  still  veiled. 
Then  follows  a  curious  ceremony.  She  is  placed  on  the 
back  of  a  female  servant  and  carried  over  a  slow  char- 
coal fire,  on  each  side  of  which  are  arranged  a  pair  of 
shoes  for  her  husband  (which  she  has  brought  with 
her).  Meanwhile  another  female  servant  raises  over 
her  head  a  tray  containing  chopsticks,  rice,  and  betel 
nuts. 

The  bridegroom,  seated  on  a  high  stool  to  show  his 
superiority,  receives  his  future  wife,  who  must  prostrate 
herself  at  his  feet.  He  now  removes  the  red  silk  veil, 
and  for  the  first  time  sees  her  face.  The  pair  are  then 
conducted  to  the  ancestral  hall,  where  they  prostrate 
themselves  before  the  altar,  on  which  are  arranged  the 
ancestral  tablets  ;   but  the  formal  worship  of  ancestors 


44  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

takes  place  later,  as  we  shall  see.  Heaven  and  earth 
are  also  adored.  This  act  is  very  important,  so  much 
so  that  when  people  wish  to  express  that  a  certain  per- 
son is  married,  they  commonly  say,  "  He  has  adored 
the  heavens  and  the  earth." 

In  the  bridal  chamber  are  the  orange  tree,  with  its 
strings  of  money  and  the  burning  tapers  that  formed 
part  of  the  procession.  The  two  salute  each  other  and 
take  food  together,  namely,  tea  and  cake.  At  seven 
o'clock  in  the  evening  a  grand  feast  is  prepared  by  the 
bride,  who  waits  on  her  new  parents  as  a  servant. 
Having  presented  a  cup  of  wine  to  her  father-in-law, 
she  kneels  at  his  feet  and  prostrates  herself,  knocking 
her  head  on  the  ground.  So  also  to  her  mother-in-law. 
It  is  then  her  turn  to  be  entertained  with  food.  A  cup 
of  wine  is  presented  to  her  by  the  mother-in-law,  but 
before  receiving  it  she  duly  makes  her  obeisance.  In 
some  parts  of  China  the  couple  retire  to  their  private 
chamber  to  dine. 

In  the  districts  around  Canton  they  have  a  singular 
custom,  according  to  which  neighbours,  friends,  or  even 
strangers,  are  allowed  to  come  in  and  see  the  bride 
during  the  evening.  This  is  a  trying  ordeal,  and 
appears  not  to  be  inflicted  on  brides  of  good  family  or 
daughters  of  officials.  The  people  who  come  in  pass 
remarks  about  her  with  singular  freedom,  and  in  a  loud 
tone  of  voice.  The  remarks  are  not  always  compli- 
mentary, and  often  in  very  questionable  taste.  But  she 
must  take  no  notice,  and  behave  in  all  things  with  the 
greatest    composure.     Strangers    and   friends    may  ask 


CHINA  45 

her  riddles,  and  whenever  she  fails  to  give  a  correct 
answer  she  must  pay  a  forfeit  of  cakes.  In  this  way  the 
unfortunate  bride  is  often  kept  up  half  the  night.  The 
husband  is  absent  during  the  evening,  for  he  would 
very  likely  take  offence  at  some  of  the  remarks  passed 
upon  his  wife.  In  many  districts  of  the  province  of 
Canton  the  bride  and  bridegroom  separate  after  the 
ceremonies,  and  must  wait  about  three  years  before  they 
can  live  together. 

On  the  third  day,  at  an  early  hour,  the  newly- 
married  couple  worship  their  ancestors  in  the  ancestral 
hall,  where,  on  a  table,  are  placed  the  ancestral  tablets. 
Looking  towards  these,  the  husband's  father  pours  out 
libations  and  reads  aloud  a  letter  to  the  spirits  of  the 
ancestors,  which  is  somewhat  as  follows  :  "  My  son 
has  married,  and  all  the  ceremonies  attendant  upon 
such  an  occasion  having  been  duly  observed,  I  now 
therefore  give  command  to  him  and  his  wife  to  render 
you  homage,  in  the  hope  of  propitiating  you  and  pre- 
vailing upon  you  to  grant  them  many  blessings." 
The  husband  and  wife  kneel  before  the  tablets  and 
prostrate  themselves.  They  must  also  pay  homage  to 
the  husband's  parents,  the  uncles,  and  the  aunts. 

On  the  same  day  it  is  their  duty  to  pay  a  visit  of 
ceremony  to  the  wife's  parents,  accompanied  by 
numerous  servants  carrying  boxes  of  cake  and  fruits, 
roasted  pigs  and  fowls.  These  are  very  important, 
and  doubtless  must  be  regarded  as  relics  of  marriage  by 
purchase.  Such  presents,  in  many  parts  of  the  world, 
are  the  chief  part  of  a  marriage  ceremony. 


46  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

It    may,    perhaps,    not    be    out     of    place     here     to 
mention    a    very    singular    custom    which    is    common 
both    to    the    Tartars    and   Chinese.      Marko  Polo,   in 
his     famous     book,     says,     speaking     of     the     former 
people,  that  when  a  boy  and  girl  die  who  are  betrothed 
to    each    other  (rather  a  rare  occurrence)   the  parents 
nevertheless  arrange  a  grand  wedding  between  the  lad 
and    the    lass,  just  as  if   they  were  alive,  and  make  a 
regular  contract  !      When  the  contract  papers  are  made 
out,    they    put    them    in   the    fire,    in    order    that    the 
betrothed    ones,    now   in    the    spirit  world,   may    look 
upon    each    other    as  man  and  wife  !      The  respective 
parents  then  consider  themselves  relations  by  marriage. 
A  dowry  is  even  given,  and  those  who  pay  it   cause 
it    to    be    painted    on    pieces  of   paper    and    then    put 
them  in   the  fire,  in  the  belief   that    in    this  way  the 
dead    person    will    get     all     the    real     articles     in     the 
other  world.     According    to    Navarete,   this    is  also  a 
Chinese    custom.     It    was    described     to     him    by    a 
Jesuit,  F.   Michael  Trigautius,  who  lived  several  years 
in    the    province    of    Shansi.      The    parents    send    the 
usual  presents  with  much    ceremony  and   music,  as  if 
the    young    couple    were    alive.     After    this    they   put 
the    two    coffins    together,   hold    the  wedding    dinner, 
and  lay  them  together  in  one  tomb.     The  respective 
parents,   from    this    time    forth,  are  looked  upon,   not 
merely    as     friends,     but     as     relatives    just    as     they 
would    have    been    had    their    children    really    married 
in  life.      Gray,  who  witnessed  such  a  ceremony,  gives 
a     somewhat     different     account.      According     to    him 


CHINA  47 

the     effigies     of    the     young     people     in     paper    were 
burned. 

If  a  Chinese  girl  die  after  or  during  her  be- 
trothal, and  before  marriage,  the  young  man  goes 
through  a  marriage  ceremony  at  his  own  house, 
the  bride  being  represented  by  a  paper  effigy  made 
by  her  parents.  This  is  burned  by  the  bridegroom, 
who  erects  a  tablet  to  her  memory — an  honour 
forbidden  to  an  unmarried  person.  In  so  large  an 
empire  we  are  sure  to  find  occasional  differences  in 
the  local  usages.  The  sad  event  we  are  now  dealing 
with  affords  a  case  in  point.  Thus,  according  to 
another  writer,  they  observe  a  custom  called  "  asking 
for  her  shoes."  Her  fiance  goes  to  the  house  of 
her  parents,  and,  with  tears  running  down  his  cheeks, 
approaches  the  coffin  in  which  she  lies.  He  asks 
for  a  pair  of  shoes  recently  worn ;  these  are,  of 
course,  given.  He  then  proceeds  home  with  them, 
having  three  lighted  sticks  of  incense  in  his  hands. 
Arrived  there,  he  informs  her  spirit  of  the  fact,  and 
puts  the  incense  in  a  censer.  A  room  is  then  chosen  in 
which  he  places  a  table  and  a  chair,  and  the  precious 
souvenir  is  placed  on,  or  under,  the  chair.  On  the 
table  he  puts  a  pair  of  lighted  candles,  and  the  censer 
with  the  incense  brought  from  her  home.  At  this 
little  shrine,  or  altar,  incense  is  burned  for  two 
years,  after  which  a  tablet  to  her  memory  is  placed 
in  the  niche  containing  the  ancestral  tablets  of  his 
family.  In  that  way  she  is  supposed  to  become  his 
wife,    and    her    afflicted    parents    are    satisfied.      Girls 


48  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

are  ot  so  little  account  that  we  may  suppose  that 
the  parents  are  not  particularly  grieved.  If,  on  the 
other  hand,  the  young  man  should  die,  that  is,  of 
course,  quite  another  matter  !  In  that  case,  his 
fiancee  must  live  as  an  old  maid  in  the  house  of  his 
parents  till  the  end  of  her  days  !  Should  she  live 
beyond  sixty  years,  her  friends  and  relatives  hold  her  in 
great  honour.  It  is  then  usual  for  them  to  mark  their 
appreciation  of  her  great  virtue  by  erecting  to  her 
a  monumental  arch.  The  imperial  Government  con- 
tributes towards  the  fund  established  for  this  purpose. 

A  Chinaman  calls  his  brother's  male  children  his 
"  sons,"  but  his  sister's  children  he  calls  his 
"  nephews."  A  curious  relic  of  bygone  days  is  the 
ceremony  of  lifting  the  bride  over  the  threshold  of 
her  new  home.  We  find  this  also  in  Great  Britain 
and  other  countries  :  it  is  supposed  by  some  to  be 
a  relic  of  marriage  by  capture  (see  p.  104).  No 
two  persons  of  the  same  name  may  marry  in  China, 
Widows  who  refuse  to  marry  again,  or  rather  to  be 
sold  again,  are  held  in  great  honour.  A  betrothed 
maiden  whose  fiance  dies,  is  much  esteemed  if  she 
buries  herself  in  a  lifelong  sorrow.  But  she  can 
win  far  greater  glory  by  committing  suicide  ! — a 
custom  which  of  course  is  not  recommended  for  men. 
They  are  never  considered  superfluous  !  In  order  to 
encourage  such  exemplary  and  useful  self-effacement, 
tablets  are  erected  in  the  temples  to  the  memory  of 
young  girls  who  have  been  so  virtuous  as  to  kill 
themselves    on    the    tombs    of    their     betrothed     ones. 


CHINA  49 

and  twice  a  year,  certain  mandarins  make  oblations 
in  their  honour.  Even  at  the  present  time,  widows 
are  known  to  put  an  end  to  their  lives,  but  those 
who  do  so  are  generally  without  children  or  relatives. 
In  1857  the  Pekin  Gazette  published  a  decree 
according  a  tablet  to  the  memory  of  the  wife  of 
a  mandarin  who  had  poisoned  herself  on  hearing 
of  the  death  of  her  husband  in  a  battle  against 
the  rebels.  In  a  country  where  female  infanticide 
is  practised,  one  need  not  be  surprised  at  such 
deeds.  The  Chinese  are  a  terribly  cruel  nation, 
in  spite  of  their  highly  literary  education,  and 
appear  to  take  a  delight  in  witnessing  executions. 
These  unfortunate  widows,  if  desirous  of  obtaining 
high  honour,  are  expected  to  kill  themselves  in 
public  with  great  pomp  and  solemnity.  A  month 
before  the  fatal  day,  the  widow  parades  the  town 
in  this  fashion  :  Two  executioners  head  the  pro- 
cession, then  come  musicians,  then  men  dressed  in 
coarse  linen  tunics  with  hoods,  carrying  parasols, 
little  pagodas,  boxes  of  perfumes,  and  streamers. 
After  them,  a  third  executioner,  followed  by  another 
group  bearing  poles  surmounted  by  fantastic  animals. 
At  the  end  of  the  procession  is  a  mandarin's  palanquin, 
surrounded  by  numerous  servants,  of  both  sexes, 
dressed  in  mourning,  that  is,  in  grey  linen.  The 
heroine  or  widow  sits  in  the  palanquin,  dressed  in 
red,  and  wearing  a  blue  crown.  Her  robe  of  satin 
is  richly  ornamented.  But  all  this  to-do  is  merely 
preliminary,    and    by  way  of   announcement    or    invi- 

5 


50  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

tatioii.      On  the  day  appointed  the  tragedy  takes  place 
in  the  presence  of  a  great  crowd. 

The  manner  in  which  a  wife  is  selected  for  the 
Emperor  furnishes  a  remarkable  instance  of  the  dif- 
ference between  Chinese  and  Western  ideas.  Girls  are 
by  no  means  desirous  of  being  chosen  for  empress  and 
wearing  the  crown  !  Parents  also  have  no  such 
ambition  for  their  daughters  :  and  for  very  good  reasons 
— not  that  they  fear  a  fate  like  that  of  the  wives  of 
Henry  the  Eighth,  but  because  when  a  young  woman 
has  been  chosen  by  the  Emperor  for  his  bride,  and  she 
has  been  crowned  queen,  he  keeps  her  in  such  seclusion 
in  his  palace  that  her  relations  seldom  or  never  see  her. 
And,  not  unnaturally,  they  think  that  crowns  are  dear  at 
the  price.  Also  it  brings  them  into  a  position  attended 
with  many  serious  drawbacks,  and  even  dangers  ;  hence 
there  are  difficulties  .in-  the  way  of  a  Manchu  em- 
peror obtaining  a  bride.  He  acknowledges  no  other 
king  as  his  equal,  aiid  so  no  prince's  daughter  can  be  his 
wife.  He  must  select  his  wife  from  "  the  people," 
which  seems  strange  in  a  country  where  rank  is  of  so 
much  importance.  It  is  recorded  that  in  recent  times, 
when  it  was  necessary  to  select  a  bride  for  a  young 
emperor,  the  two  dowager  empresses  issued  orders  to 
all  the  chiefs  who  had  daughters  of  the  desired  age  to 
send  them  to  the  palace.  But,  strange  to  say,  when  the 
day  came,  very  few  presented  themselves  !  All  sorts  of 
polite  excuses  were  made  by  the  parents.  Some  alleged 
that  their  daughters  were  crippled,  others  that  they  were 
blind.      In  some  cases  lameness  was  successfully  imitated, 


A  Chinese  Bride.     Frovi  a  Photograph  by  Mr.   T.  Child. 


CHINA  51 

or  deformities  artificially  produced.  To  such  an  extent 
was  this  carried  that  the  empresses  gave  express  orders 
that  the  lame  and  the  halt,  the  blind  and  the  dumb,  were 
to  be  sent  to  the  palace.  The  result  was  that  on  the 
day  fixed  about  six  hundred  or  seven  hundred  girls 
appeared,  and  of  these  about  fifty  were  selected  after 
a  first  inspection.  It  is  hardly  necessary  to  add  that 
none  of  them  were  halt  or  lame  or  blind  or  deaf  !  The 
names  of  all  were  taken  and  the  character  and  position 
of  their  parents  inquired  into.  Their  horoscopes  were 
carefully  calculated — a  very  important  matter.  After 
the  second  inspection,  thirty  were  chosen  out  of  the 
fifty.  These  were  honourably  entertained  at  the  palace, 
and  watched  so  that  their  individual  traits  could  be 
studied.  After  a  short  stay,  ten  were  sent  home,  and 
then  ten  more.  At  last  the  number  was  reduced  to 
two,  and  one  of  these  was  chosen.  One  would  think 
even  then  the  result  might  not  be  highly  satisfactory. 
The  daughter  of  some  prince  or  noble  would  be  far  more 
likely  to  make  a  good  empress  than  a  total  stranger  to 
court  life. 

Golden  and  silver  weddings  are  almost  as  much 
observed  in  China  as  among  the  Germans  or  in  England. 

Our  portrait  of  a  Chinese  bride  is  from  a  photo- 
graph by  Mr.  Thomas  Child,  of  Chelsfield,  Kent,  who 
has  kindly  permitted  us  to  reproduce  it.  The  young 
lady's  father  was  fortunately  a  man  of  liberal  ideas, 
and  allowed  her  to  be  photographed  without  the  usual 
veil  that  hides  the  features  of  a  bride.  The  big 
emblem    behind  the  chair  is  Shi^  the  Chinese   symbol 


52  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

for  Happiness,  which  occupies  a  very  prominent  place 
in  weddings,  everything  being  marked  with  it.  It  is 
usually  doubled,  to  denote  "  Double  Happiness," 
though  not  here. 

According  to  a  missionary  who  has  worked  of  late 
years  in  Formosa,  the  savages  who  inhabit  the  mountains 
of  that  island  are  all  "  head  hunters,"  and  a  man  is  not, 
as  a  rule,  allowed  to  marry  until  he  has  brought  in  at 
least  one  Chinese  head — just  to  give  proof  of  his  courage 
and  skill  !  But  if  the  Chinese  are  unusually  careful 
about  their  heads,  and  keep  beyond  spear-reach  of  the 
most  daring  brave,  the  chief  may  grant  a  special  dis- 
pensation to  any  man  who  has  distinguished  himself 
in  the  chase  of  the  deer  and  the  wild  boar.  There 
is  very  little  if  any  ceremony  at  a  wedding,  but  the 
bride  is  gaily  decked  out. 


CHAPTER  III 

yapan 

T  T  is  with  a  feeling  of  relief  that  we  turn  from  the 
^  cruel  conventions  of  a  decaying  civilisation,  such  as 
that  of  China,  to  consider  the  marriage  customs  of  the 
bright,  happy,  and  intelligent  people  of  Japan.  They 
lead  far  more  natural  lives  than  the  Chinese,  and 
consequently  there  is  often  much  happiness  among 
them,  especially  in  the  country  districts.  But  for  all 
that  Japan  is  not  a  paradise.  To  the  "  new  woman  "  it 
would  doubtless  appear  nothing  short  of  an  Inferno  ! 
Whatever  freedom  may  be  allowed  to  girls,  when 
once  they  are  married  they  make  very  faithful  wives, 
Japanese  husbands  expect  the  most  complete  subjection 
and  obedience  from  their  consorts  ;  and  they  certainly 
get  it,  for  every  girl  is  carefully  taught  from  her  child- 
hood that  some  day  she  must  be  an  obedient  and 
faithful,  hard-working  housewife.  The  result  is  highly 
successful.  Whether  this  is  due  to  a  natural  submis- 
siveness  on  the  part  of  Japanese  wives,  or  whether  their 
remarkable  amiability  may  be  accounted  for  by  the  effect 
of  generations  of  training  and  veneration  for  tradition, 
we  cannot  say. 

53 


54  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

European  notions  are  being  so  rapidly  absorbed  by 
these  clever  and  observant  people  that  it  would  appear 
as  if  all  their  old  ways  may  have  died  out  ere  another 
generation  grows  up.  It  is  therefore  all  the  more 
desirable  to  record  the  ceremonies  used  at  their 
marriages. 

They  marry  early  ;  but  as  a  mesalliance  is  held  to 
be  utterly  disgraceful,  even  in  the  middle  classes, 
people  are  not  unfrequently  reduced  to  the  necessity  of 
espousing  those  whom  they  have  never  seen.  Thus, 
the  treasurer  of  Nagasaki  has  no  precise  equal  in  the 
place,  consequently  his  children  cannot  ally  them- 
selves with  the  young  people  in  the  town,  their 
acquaintances  and  associates  ;  but  he  must  procure 
them  wives  and  husbands  out  of  the  families  of  men 
of  his  own  rank  in  distant  cities  or  provinces.  When 
no  such  obstacle  prevents  the  course  of  true  love  from 
running  smooth,  and  a  youth  has  fixed  his  affections 
upon  a  maiden  of  suitable  condition,  he  declares  his 
passion  by  affixing  a  branch  of  a  certain  shrub  {celastrus 
alatus)  to  the  house  of  her  parents.  If  the  branch  be 
neglected,  the  suit  is  rejected  ;  if  it  be  accepted,  so  is 
the  lover.  And  if  the  young  lady  wishes  to  express 
reciprocal  tenderness,  she  forthwith  blackens  her  teeth. 
But  she  must  not  pluck  out  her  eyebrows  until  the 
wedding  has  been  celebrated.  At  present  the  choice  of 
a  wife  depends,  in  most  cases,  on  the  will  of  the  parents, 
hence  there  are  not  many  love-matches.  But,  in  old 
days,  the  following  custom  prevailed  in  the  province  of 
Ozu.      Whoever  took  a  fancy  to  a  girl  wrote  his  name 


JAPAN  55 

on  a  small  board,  and  hid  it  between  the  mats  in 
the  ante-chamber  of  her  house.  These  boards 
showed  the  number  of  her  lovers,  and  remained  there 
till  she  took  away  that  of  the  man  whom  she  preferred. 
When  the  branch  has  been  accepted,  or  if  the 
respective  parents  have  agreed  to  unite  their  children, 
a  certain  number  of  male  friends  of  the  bridegroom  are 
appointed  as  marriage  brokers.  These  persons  meet 
and  arrange  the  terms  of  the  marriage  contract  ;  and 
when  they  have  agreed  upon  these,  they  carefully  select 
two  auspicious  days,  the  first  for  an  interview  between 
the  young  people,  the  second  for  the  actual  ceremony. 
The  match-maker,  or  middleman,  becomes  through 
life  a  sort  of  godfather  to  the  young  people.  Customs, 
of  course,  vary  a  good  deal  according  to  the  locality  ; 
but  in  some  parts  of  Japan,  the  parties  are  not  en- 
tirely unknown  to  each  other  before  the  tying  of  the 
"  fatal  knot,"  because  the  match-maker  arranges  for  a 
meeting.  This  is  called  a  "  mutual  seeing,"  and  takes 
place  at  the  house  of  the  match-maker,  or  at  some 
private  house  agreed  upon  by  the  respective  parents. 
That  is  the  correct  way  of  doing  it  ;  but,  among  the 
middle  and  lower  classes,  a  picnic,  a  party  to  the 
theatre,  or  a  visit  to  the  temple  will  serve  instead. 
Sometimes  the  man  is  even  allowed  to  speak  to  the 
young  lady,  a  privilege  which  must  be  highly  prized  ! 
If  she  fails  to  please,  the  projected  match  comes  to 
nothing  ;  if,  however,  the  young  lady  objects,  that  is  a 
trifling  matter  which  the  parents  can  easily  overrule. 
If  both  parties  are  pleased  gifts  are  exchanged.     This 


56  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

constitutes  a  betrothal,  and  is  considered  binding. 
The  next  step  is  for  the  future  bridegroom  to  send 
presents,  as  costly  as  his  means  will  allow,  to  the 
bride.  She  immediately  offers  them  to  her  parents,  in 
acknowledgment  of  their  kindness  in  her  infancy,  and 
of  the  pains  bestowed  upon  her  education.  Thus, 
although  the  Japanese  girl  is  not  subjected  to  the  usual 
Oriental  degradation  of  being  actually  or  apparently 
purchased  from  her  father  by  her  husband,  a  handsome 
daughter  is  still  considered  as  rather  to  the  fortune  of 
the  family.  The  bride,  however,  is  not  transferred 
quite  empty-handed  to  her  new  home.  Besides 
sending  a  few  trifles  to  the  bridegroom,  in  return  for 
his  splendid  gifts,  the  parents  of  the  bride,  after 
ceremoniously  burning  their  daughter's  childish  toys, 
(in  token  of  her  being  "  grown  up"),  provide  a  hand- 
some trousseau,  and  bestow  upon  her  certain  articles  of 
household  furniture,  such  as  a  spinning-wheel,  a  loom, 
and  the  necessary  utensils  for  the  kitchen.  On  the 
wedding-day  the  bridal  equipment  is  conveyed  in  great 
state  to  the  bridegroom's  house,  and  there  exhibited. 

With  regard  to  the  marriage-rites,  the  authorities 
we  have  consulted  give  somewhat  different  accounts. 
Thus,  Isaac  Titsingh,  in  his  "  Illustrations  of  Japan," 
says  that  there  is  no  religious  ceremony,  but  here  he 
may  be  wrong.  It  is  easy  to  conceive  that,  in  such 
a  country  as  Japan,  a  foreigner  might  frequently  be 
invited  to  attend  the  formal  ceremonies  with  which  the 
bride  is  installed  in  her  new  home,  without  ever 
witnessing,  or  even  hearing,  of  the  religious  ceremony. 


JAPAN  57 

Again,  there  may  be  one  custom  for  Buddhists,  and 
another  for  Shintoists,  whose  religion  is  the  older. 
Some  say  that  the  civil  contract  must  be  registered  in 
the  temple  to  which  the  young  people  belong.  Accord- 
ing to  Mr.  J.  M.  W.  Silver,  the  following  ceremony 
takes  place  there  :  "  The  pair,  after  listening  to  a 
lengthy  harangue  from  one  of  the  attendant  priests, 
approach  the  altar,  where  large  tapers  are  presented  to 
them  ;  the  bride,  instructed  by  the  priest,  lights  her 
taper  at  the  sacred  censer  on  the  altar,  and  the  bride- 
groom, igniting  his  from  hers,  allows  the  two  flames  to 
combine  and  burn  steadily  together,  thus  symbolising 
the  perfect  unity  of  the  marriage  state ;  and  this 
completes  the  ceremonial."  The  bride,  covered  from 
head  to  foot  in  a  white  veil,  is  seated  in  a  palanquin 
and  carried  forth,  escorted  by  the  marriage-brokers,  her 
family,  and  the  guests  invited  to  the  feast.  The  men 
are  all  arrayed  in  their  ceremonial  dress,  the  women  in 
their  gayest  gold-embroidered  robes.  The  procession 
parades  through  the  greater  part  of  the  town,  affording 
a  very  pretty  spectacle.  On  reaching  the  bridegroom's 
house,  the  bride,  still  veiled,  is  accompanied  by  two 
playfellows  into  the  state  room,  where,  in  the  post  of 
honour,  sits  the  bridegroom  with  his  parents  and 
nearest  relations.  In  the  centre  stands  a  beautifully- 
wrought  table,  with  miniature  representations  of  a 
fir  tree,  a  plum  tree  in  blossom,  cranes,  and  tortoises. 
The  first  is  a  symbol  of  man's  strength,  the  second  of 
woman's  beauty,  whilst  the  tortoise  and  the  crane 
appear  to  represent  length  of  life  and  happiness.      And 


58  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

now  it  is  time  for  them  to  drink  the  saki^  or  wine — 
this  is  really  the  principal  part  of  the  ceremony.  This 
is  done  with  endless  formalities,  and  the  wine  is  poured 
out  by  two  young  women  who  are  called  "  The  Male 
and  the  Female  Butterfly,"  probably  emblems  of 
conjugal  faithfulness,  since  butterflies  appear  to  fly 
about  in  pairs. 

Perhaps  the  description  of  an  actual  eye-witness  will 
be  more  acceptable  to  our  readers  ;  we  therefore  take 
the  liberty  of  quoting  the  account  of  a  well-known 
traveller,  Miss  Bird,  in  her  book  entitled  "  Unbeaten 
Tracks  in  Japan." 

"  Two  young  girls,  very  beautifully  dressed,  brought 
in  the  bride,  a  very  pleasing-looking  creature,  dressed 
entirely  in  white  silk,  with  a  veil  of  white  silk  covering 
her  from  head  to  foot.  The  bridegroom,  who  was 
already  seated  in  the  middle  of  the  room,  near  its  upper 
part,  did  not  rise  to  receive  her,  and  kept  his  eyes 
fixed  on  the  ground.  She  sat  opposite  to  him,  but 
never  looked  up.  A  low  table  was  spread  in  front,  on 
which  there  was  a  two-spouted  kettle  full  of  saki^  some 
saki  bottles,  and  some  cups,  and  on  another  were  some 
small  figures  representing  a  fir  tree,  a  plum  tree  in 
blossom,  and  a  stork  standing  on  a  tortoise.  After 
this,  which  was  only  a  preliminary,  the  two  girls  who 
brought  in  the  bride  handed  round  a  tray  with  three 
cups  containing  saki^  which  each  person  was  expected 
to  drain  till  he  came  to  the  god  of  luck  at  the  bottom. 
[This  reminds  us  of  the  Hindu  custom  of  placing  the 
god  of  obstacles  under  the  canopy.] 


JAPAN  59 

"  The  bride  and  bridegroom  then  retired,  and  shortly 
reappeared  in  other  dresses  of  ceremony,  but  the  bride 
still  wore  her  white  silk  veil,  which  one  day  will  be  her 
shroud.      An  old  gold  lacquer  tray  was  produced,  with 
three  saki  cups,  which  were  filled  by  the  two  brides- 
maids [the  male  and  the  female  butterfly]  and  placed 
before  the  parents-in-law  and  the  bride.      The  father- 
in-law  drank   three  cups,   and  handed  the  cup  to  the 
bride,  who,  after  drinking  two  cups,  received  from  her 
father-in-law    a    present    in    a    box,  drank    the    third 
cup,  and  then  returned  the  cup  to  the  father-in-law, 
who  again  drank  three  cups.      Rice  and  fish  were  next 
brought  in,  after  which  the  bridegroom's  mother  took 
the  second  cup  and  filled  and  emptied  it  three  times, 
after  which  she  passed  it  to  the  bride,  who  drank  two 
cups,   received   a  present   from   her   mother-in-law   in 
a  lacquer  box,  drank  a  third  cup,  and  gave  the  cup  to 
the  elder  lady,  who  again  drank  three  cups.      Soup  was 
then  served,  and  the  bride  drank  once  from  the  third 
cup,  and  handed  it  to  her  husband's  father,  who  drank 
three  more  cups,  the  bride  took  it  again  and  drank  two, 
and    lastly,     the     mother-in-law    drank     three     more 
cups  .   .   .      After  this  the  two  bridesmaids  raised  the 
two-spouted  kettle  and  presented  it  to  the  lips  of  the 
married  pair,  who  drank  from  it  alternately,   till  they 
had  exhausted  its  contents.     This  concluding  ceremony 
is  said  to  be  emblematic  of  the  tasting  together  of  the 
joys  and  sorrows   of  life.     And  so   they  became   man 
and    wife    till    death,   or    divorce,  parted   them.      This 
drinking    of   saki,    or    wine,    according    to    prescribed 


6o  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

usage,  appeared  to  constitute  the  "  Marriage  Service  " 
to  which  none  but  relations  were  bidden.  Immediately 
afterwards  the  wedding  guests  arrived,  and  the  evening 
was  spent  in  feasting  and  saki  drinking,  but  the  fare  is 
simple,  and  intoxication  is  happily  out  of  place  at  a 
marriage-feast." 

At  a  marriage  ceremony,  neither  bride  nor  bride- 
groom wears  any  clothing  of  a  purple  colour,  lest  their 
marriage-tie  be  soon  loosed,  as  purple,  with  them,  is 
the  colour  most  liable  to  fade. 

According  to  Titsingh,  the  bridegroom  must  find 
some  man  clever  at  letter-writing  who  will  indite  for 
him  a  letter  to  his  father-in-law  in  some  such  terms 
as  these  : — • 

"  I  have  the  letter  which  you  have  sent  me,  in  which 
you  inform  me  that  you  are  glad  that  all  the  ceremonies 
which  were  to  take  place  up  to  this  day  are  over.  The 
vessel  of  saki  and  the  tray  of  fish  (or  whatever  the 
present  may  be)  which  you  have  sent  me  have  been 
received  by  me  in  very  good  condition.  I  return  you, 
with  all  my  heart,  my  humble  thanks  for  them. 
I  flatter  myself  that  we  shall  soon  have  an  opportunity 
of  speaking  to  one  another.  My  father  also  presents 
you  his  thanks,  through  him,  who  has  the  honour  to  be, 
with  the  highest  respect," 

(The  name  and  signature). 
(The  date). 

The  bride  also  has  with  her  a  person  acquainted 
with  the  usual  wording  of  letters  of  this  kind.  Her 
epistle  is  to  the  same  effect.      It  is  a  strict   matter   of 


JAPAN  6i 

etiquette  that  in  these  letters  no  other  subject  whatever 
should  be  introduced. 

It  is  hardly  necessary  to  say  that  there  are  many 
superstitions  with  regard  to  marriage  observed  by 
young  girls  ;  one  of  them  is  that  nothing  will  induce 
a  girl  to  pour  tea  over  a  bowl  of  "  red  rice,"  for  if 
she  did  so  her  marriage  day  would  be  sure  to  be  rainy. 


CHAPTER    IV 

Persia  and  Arabia 

IN  a  country  like  Persia,  where  women  are  strictly 
veiled,  love-matches  are  somewhat  rare  ;  in  spite 
of  all  precautions,  however,  such  things  do  occasion- 
ally take  place.  Although  shrouded  from  head  to 
foot  in  a  great  blue  sheet,  and  wearing  a  calico  or 
cambric  veil  a  yard  long,  a  little  aperture  partly 
covered  by  threads  across  the  eyes  enables  the  Persian 
belle  to  see  other  people.  If  inclined  to  flirt,  she 
can  do  so,  and  will  find  some  way  to  reward  an 
admiring  passer-by  with  a  glance  at  her  features. 
Hence  it  sometimes  happens  that  a  marriage  is  the 
result  of  some  early  attachment.  Cousins  frequently 
marry,  and  such  unions  are  considered  natural  and 
proper  because  the  young  people  have  generally  been 
brought  up  together,  almost  as  brother  and  sister.  In 
justice  to  the  people  ot  Persia  let  it  be  said  at  the 
outset  that  their  women  are  hardly  such  down-trodden 
creatures  as  they  are  generally  supposed  by  Europeans 
to  be.  The  wife  is  not  a  slave  to  her  lord,  nor  yet  a 
mere  toy,  but  his  friend  and  counsellor,  and,  if  a  capable 
person,  may  rule  his  household.     In  most  cases  a  young 


PERSIA  63 

girl  is  betrothed  to  a  man  of  her  own  class  ;  if  a  mer- 
chant's daughter  she  marries  the  son  of  a  merchant,  and 
so  on ;  but  personal  attractions  are  greatly  sought  after, 
and  a  poor  girl,  if  exceptionally  good-looking,  may  be 
as  fortunate  as  Cinderella,  though  probably  not  so 
happy. 

Married  women  have  no  objection  to  wearing  the 
veil  ;  in  fact,  they  would  not  or  dare  not  drop  the 
custom.  Without  this  protective  covering  they  would 
be  considered  neither  modest  nor  respectable.  In  the 
higher  ranks  of  life  women  are  often  well  educated  ; 
they  delight  in  all  domestic  duties,  such  as  cooking. 
Barring  a  taste  for  scandal,  very  little  can  be  said 
against  them,  and  they  appear  to  win  the  love  and 
admiration  of  their  husbands  and  children. 

When  a  wife  becomes  the  mother  of  a  son  her 
position  is  greatly  improved,  and  greater  freedom  is 
allowed  to  her.  For  example,  she  can  then  go  about 
if  accompanied  by  her  child  and  her  mother,  or 
mother-in-law. 

Betrothals  are  arranged  by  match-makers  as  in  so 
many  other  countries.  These  are  crafty  old  women 
who  know  how  to  drive  a  hard  bargain,  and  they  get 
a  "  commission  "  from  the  parents  on  each  side. 

Child-marriages  are  frequent.  There  is,  first  of  all, 
a  marriage  contract  or  legal  ceremony  ;  the  wedding 
itself  may  take  place  on  the  same  day,  in  the  evening, 
or,  if  the  bride  is  a  child,  some  years  later.  The  former 
ceremony  sometimes  takes  place  in  the  open  air,  the 
women  veiled  ;  or  it  may  be  in  a  room,  the  bride  being 


64  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

screened  off  by  a  curtain,  A  mullah,  an  official  of  the 
Mosque,  reads  out  the  contract  which  he  himself  has 
drawn  up  somewhat  as  follows  :  "  It  is  agreed  between 
Hassan  the  draper,  who  is  agent  for  Houssein  the  son 
of  the  baker,  that  he  Houssein  hereby  acknowledges 
the  receipt  of  the  portion  of  Nissa  the  daughter  of 
Achmet  the  grocer."  Then  follows  a  list  of  the 
bride's  property,  in  which  a  copy  of  the  Koran  and  a 
certain  amount  of  silk  are  always  included.  In  case  of 
her  death  or  divorce  the  husband  surrenders  it  all  to 
her  family  or  to  herself.  When  both  parties  have 
given  their  consent  to  the  bargain,  in  the  presence  of 
their  relations  and  friends,  the  mullah  thus  pronounces 
them  to  be  legally  married  : — 

"  Then,  in  the  name  of  God,  the  Compassionate,  the 
Merciful,  and  of  Mahommed  the  prophet  of  God,  I 
declare  you  A.  and  you  B.  to  be  man  and  wife."  The 
document  is  then  sealed.  This  is  followed  by  a  feast, 
at  which  no  small  amount  of  tobacco  is  consumed  by 
the  men,  and  of  sweetmeats  by  the  women  (in  their 
separate  apartment).  There  is  no  music  on  this 
occasion. 

On  the  wedding-day  great  preparations  are  made  for 
the  entertainment  of  a  large  party,  both  in  the  men's 
court  and  in  that  of  the  women. 

The  poor  are  not  neglected  on  these  occasions,  but 
come  in  for  a  share  of  the  good  things.  The  enter- 
tainment takes  place  at  the  house  of  the  bride's  family. 
Great  is  the  variety  of  the  drinks  consumed,  tea,  ices, 
and  sherbets  being  the  favourites.     The  latter  are  fruit- 


PERSIA  65 

syrups  delicately  scented  and  sweetened,  and  may  be 
made  from  roses,  oranges,  lemons,  pomegranates, 
cherries,  and  other  fruits,  "  All  is  ready  ;  the  master 
of  the  house,  dressed  in  his  best,  gives  a  last  anxious 
glance  at  the  preparations,  and  has  an  excited  discussion 
with  his  wife,  or  wives.  He  waves  his  hand  to  the 
musicians  and  hurries  to  a  seat  near  the  door,  to  be 
ready  to  welcome  his  guests  ;  the  music  strikes  up  a 
merry  tune  (it  is  an  air,  barbaric  but  inspiriting). 
The  tremendous  din  of  the  dohol  (drum)  is  heard  at 
intervals.  Then  in  a  loud  scream  rises  the  voice  of 
the  principal  solo  singer,  who  commences  one  of  the 
sad  love  songs  of  Persia  in  a  high  falsetto  voice.  His 
face  reddens  with  his  exertions,  which  last  through  a 
dozen  verses.  His  eyes  nearly  start  from  his  head, 
the  muscles  of  his  neck  stand  out  like  ropes  ;  but  he 
keeps  correct  time  on  the  big  tambourine,  which  he 
plays  with  consummate  skill.  The  rest  of  the  mu- 
sicians watch  his  every  movement,  and  all  join  in  the 
chorus  of  '  Ah  !  Lalla,  Lalla,  you  have  made  roast 
meat  of  my  heart !  ' 

"  The  music  is  the  signal  to  the  invited  guests  ;  they 
now  commence  to  arrive  in  crowds.  The  music  and 
singing  proceed,  and  go  on  unceasingly  for  some  ten 
hours  till  the  bride  leaves  for  her  husband's  home. 
As  the  guests  pour  in  the  host  receives  them  with 
transports  of  pleasure  ;  all  the  extravagant  compliments 
of  Eastern  politeness  pass  between  them.  '  May  your 
wedding  be  fortunate  ! '  'You  are  indeed  welcome ;  this 
is  a  never-to-be-forgotten  honour  to  me  your  slave  !  ' 

6 


66  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

"  In  they  pour,  the  men  in  their  best  ;  the  women, 
closely  veiled,  pass  on  unnoticed  by  the  men  into  the 
anderin^  where  they  unveil  and  appear  to  their  de- 
lighted hostesses  in  their  finest  clothes,  and  all  their 
jewelry,  and,  we  are  sorry  to  add,  in  most  cases  with 
their  faces  carefully  painted."  ^  Here  buffoons  and 
musicians  are  the  only  men  allowed  ;  the  former  bring 
performing  bears,  or  monkeys,  or  even  a  wretched, 
half-starved  lion,  cowed  by  much  beating. 

Before  dinner  is  served  the  bride  goes  to  the  bath 
accompanied  by  female  relatives  and  friends.  At  night, 
as  the  procession  of  the  bridegroom  approaches,  alms 
are  distributed,  and  women  and  children  look  from 
neighbouring  roofs.  Loud  cries  from  the  women 
welcome  the  bridegroom  on  his  arrival,  while  the 
bride,  carefully  veiled,  mounts  the  horse  awaiting  her 
at  the  door.  All  the  men  who  have  been  feasted  and 
entertained  join  in  the  procession,  in  which  lanterns 
are  borne.  The  bride's  departure  is  the  signal  for 
the  discharge  of  fireworks  and  a  great  beating  of  the 
big  drum.  The  final  ceremony  is  similar  to  one 
observed  by  the  Arabs  and  the  Kopts,  namely,  the 
sacrifice  of  sheep  ;  these  are  killed  as  the  bride  steps  over 
the  threshold  of  her  new  home.  One  wonders  what  is 
the  idea  underlying  the  sacrifices.  Are  they  intended 
as  acts  of  propitiation  inherited  from  an  earlier  age, 
when  people  thus  endeavoured  "  to  appease  the  anger  of 
ths  gods"  or  of  the  spirits  of  their  ancestors.^  or  is  it 

'  "Persia  as  it  is,"  1S87,  by  C.  J.  Wills,  M.D.,  many  years  a 
resident  medical  officer  in  the  country. 


AFGHANISTAN  67 

merely  a  way  of  sealing  in  blood  an  important  act  and 
covenant  ? 

In  October,  1867,  the  heir  to  the  throne  of 
Persia  was  married  to  his  cousin,  both  of  them 
being  only  sixteen  years  of  age,  and  the  wedding 
was  celebrated  with  great  pomp.  The  bride's 
cavalcade,  on  leaving  her  home,  was  preceded  by 
about  one  hundred  horses,  mules,  and  camels,  carrying 
servants,  tents,  carpets,  &c.  ;  then  followed  many  led 
horses  covered  with  rich  trappings.  The  Princess's 
carriage,  with  the  blinds  down,  was  drawn  by  six 
horses,  and  followed  by  mules  carrying  palanquins 
closed  with  curtains,  which  contained  the  women  of 
her  suite.  And  lastly  came  a  large  number  of 
officers  and  dignitaries  on  horseback.  The  players 
made  music  with  their  violins,  trumpets,  and  tam- 
bourines. The  journey  took  thirty-three  days. 
On  her  arrival  the  Princess  was  temporarily  lodged 
in  a  palace.  Public  rejoicings  preceded  the  marriage, 
and  on  the  wedding-day,  three  hours  after  sunset, 
the  bride  was  conducted  in  a  torch-light  procession 
to    the    palace    of   the    bridegroom. 

The  women  of  Afghanistan  go  about  unveiled, 
and  a  young  man  may  choose  a  partner  for  himself 
without  the  aid  of  a  match-maker,  or  even  of  his 
parents.  If  some  girl  takes  his  fancy,  all  he  has  to 
do  is  to  cut  off  a  lock  of  her  hair  or  throw  a  sheet 
over  her,  and  proclaim  the  damsel  his  bride.  He 
must  then  make  a  bargain  with  the  father  before  he 
is  allowed   to    take   her   to   his   home. 


68  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

The  Tartars  who  inhabit  the  highlands  of  Asia 
Minor  have  a  pecuHar  custom.  On  the  day  when 
the  bride  enters  her  new  home,  she  and  her  husband 
go  to  meet  one  another,  each  accompanied  by  their 
respective  relatives  on  horseback.  When  the  bride- 
groom is  sufficiently  near  to  the  bride,  he  throws 
an  apple,  or  orange,  at  her,  and  wheeling  round  his 
horse,  gallops  off  to  his  own  tent,  while  the  men  of 
the  bride's  party  follow  in  hot  pursuit,  for  whoever 
overtakes  him  before  he  reaches  home  is  entitled  to 
his  horse,  saddle,  and  clothes.  When  the  bride 
arrives  at  her  husband's  tent,  the  women  of  her  party 
implore  her  not  to  get  down  from  her  horse,  while 
her  husband's  family  entreat  her  to  do  so.  Every 
male  relative  of  his  brings  her  a  present,  begging 
her  at  the  same  time  to  give  up  part  of  the 
dowry  settled  on  her  by  her  husband.  The  bride  is 
usually  too  prudent  to  forego  all  of  it,  but  for  the  sake 
of  courtesy,  gives  up  a  small  portion. 

Some  of  the  Kurds  inhabiting  the  Eastern  High- 
lands of  Asia  Minor,  a  hardy  and  brave  mountain 
race,  treat  their  wives  very  well.  The  marriage 
ceremony  is  nothing  more  than  a  few  words  uttered 
in  the  presence  of  a  priest.  One  sect,  the  Zezidi, 
are  less  strict  than  others  with  regard  to  the 
importance  of  the  marriage-tie,  and  the  men  do  not 
forget  the  possibility  of  a  divorce.  For  this  reason 
it  is  said  that  the  bridegroom,  when  pronouncing 
the  marriage-oath,  stands  in   running  water^  to  signify 


ARABS  69 

that  he  thus  washes  away  the  binding  nature  of  the 
promise,  and  therefore  renders  the  breach  of  it  less 
sinful.  The  ceremony  takes  place  before  a  Sheikh 
of  their  creed,  who,  at  its  conclusion,  receives  from 
the  bridegroom  a  loaf  and  gives  him  in  return  a 
consecrated  one  which  the  man  and  woman  share 
between  them. 

Arabs  entertain  no  very  high  opinion  of  women. 
They  have  a  saying  as  follows  :  "  Marriage  is  joy 
for  a  month,  and  sorrow  for  a  life,  and  the  paying 
of  settlements,  and  the  breaking  of  one's  back  {i.e. 
under  the  load  of  misery),  and  the  listening  to  a 
woman's  tongue  !  "  It  is  not  surprising,  therefore, 
to  find  that  Arab  marriages  are  "  arranged "  as  in 
so  many  other  countries  where  "  women's  rights " 
have  never  yet    been    heard   of. 

The  Arab  marriage  customs  of  present  times  are 
especially  interesting  inasmuch  as  they  explain 
passages  in  Holy  Scripture  where  weddings  are 
referred  to.  For  instance,  in  the  plain  on  the  coast 
of  Palestine  below  Jaffa  where  the  Philistines 
used  to  dwell,  a  marriage  feast  still  continues  for 
seven  days,  as  that  of  Samson  did,  amidst  songs, 
dances,  and  rough  jollity,  in  which  putting  and 
answering  riddles  forms  a  prominent  part.  The 
wedding  of  this  great  strong  man  appears  to  have 
resembled  one  of  the  present  day  among  the  peasants 
of  the  Hauran.  The  scene  was  the  open-air  threshing 
floor,   the  company  made  up  chiefly  of  "  friends  "   of 


70  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

the  bridegroom  !  We  may  picture  bride  and  bride- 
groom crowned  as  king  and  queen  of  the  sports, 
sitting  on  the  threshing  sledge  on  a  mock  throne. 
Quarrels  often  arise,  as  on  that  occasion,  and  sometimes 
lead  to  bloodshed. 

A  Bedouin  always  marries  one  of  his  own  class. 
The  sending  of  Eliezer  to  Mesopotamia  to  get  a 
wife  for  Isaac  was  exactly  what  the  Sheikh  of  an 
Arab  tribe  would  do  at  this  day.  The  reader 
will  remember,  also,  how  Rebekah  got  off  the 
camel  and  veiled  herself  because  she  could  not 
allow  Isaac  to  see  her  face  till  she  became  his  wife. 
And  not  until  the  wedding  is  over  may  the  husband 
enter  the  tent  where  his  bride  awaits  him  and  raise 
her  veil.  Women  anxiously  await  outside,  and  when 
the  bridegroom  has  announced  to  them  that  he  is 
pleased  with  his  bride  set  up  a  shrill  cry  of  delight. 
To  the  Arabs  this  shout  of  the  triumphant  and 
satisfied  bridegroom  is  one  of  the  most  delightful 
sounds  that  can  be  uttered.  It  is  to  this  our 
Saviour  alludes  when  He  says,  "  He  that  hath  the 
bride  is  the  bridegroom  ;  but  the  friend  of  the 
bridegroom,  who  standeth  and  heareth  him,  rejoiceth 
greatly  because  of  the  bridegroom'' s  voice.'" 

Again  at  Nablus,  the  bride  is  brought  home  at 
night,  as  in  the  parable  of  the  Virgins.  Drums, 
fifes,  shouts  and  rejoicings  break  the  stillness  as  late 
as  ten  o'clock.  Young  and  old  run  out  to  see  the 
procession,  the  maidens  in  their  best  attire,  the 
bridegroom   and   his  friends,   the  bride,  deeply  veiled, 


ARABS  71 

the  musicians,  the  crowd,  and  above  all,  the  flaming 
lights,  which    give    animation    to    the    whole  scene. 

Mr,  Burckhardt,  the  traveller,  says  that  among  the 
Aenezes  the  bridegroom  comes  with  a  lamb  in  his 
arms  to  the  tent  of  the  bride's  father,  and  there  cuts  its 
throat  before  witnesses.  As  soon  as  the  blood  falls 
upon  the  ground  the  marriage  ceremony  is  regarded 
as  complete.  Afterwards  the  men  and  girls  amuse 
themselves  with  feasting  and  singing.  Soon  after  sun- 
set the  bridegroom  awaits  the  bride  in  his  tent.  The 
bashful  girl  meanwhile  runs  from  the  tent  of  one  friend 
to  another's,  till  at  last  she  is  caught  and  conducted  by 
a  few  women  to  her  lord  and  master.  In  Egypt  the 
Kopts  kill  a  sheep  as  soon  as  the  bride  enters  the 
house  of  her  husband,  and  she  is  obliged  to  step  over 
the  flowing  blood  on  (to)  the  threshold  (see  p.  66). 

Among  the  Bedouins  of  Mount  Sinai,  if  a  man  wishes 
to  marry  a  certain  girl,  he  must  call,  accompanied  by  a 
few  friends,  on  her  father.  On  their  arrival  at  the  tent 
they  are  ofl^sred  some  refreshment.  The  suitor  then  ex- 
plains that  he  would  be  glad  if  the  man  will  have  him 
for  a  son-in-law,  to  which  the  father  replies,  "  I  shall 
require  (say)  one  hundred  piastres  of  you  as  a  dowry. 
This,  the  young  man  explains,  with  considerable  anima- 
tion, is  a  sum  quite  beyond  his  modest  resources.  When 
at  last  the  father  has  consented  to  lower  his  terms  to 
about  half  the  sum  mentioned,  they  agree  and  the 
bargain  is  concluded.  When  the  young  men  of  the 
party  find  that  matters  have  been  settled,  they  express 
great  delight,  and  engage  in  trials  of  skill  and  various 


72  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

games.  The  public  notary  is  then  called  in,  who  takes 
a  piece  of  a  certain  herb  and  wraps  it  in  the  turban  of 
the  bridegroom.  He  ratifies  the  covenant  between  father 
and  bridegroom  in  the  following  manner  :  Taking  both 
their  hands  in  his,  he  places  between  them  the  folded 
turban,  and,  pressing  them  closely  together,  thus 
addresses  the  father  of  the  bride-elect,  "  Are  you  willing 
to  give  your  daughter  to  " — mentioning  the  name.  To 
which  he  replies,  "  I  am,"  The  bridegroom  to  be  is  also 
asked,  "  Do  you  take  the  girl  to  wife  for  better  or 
worse  ?  "  On  his  replying,  "  I  do  take  her,"  the  notary 
says,  "  If  you  ill-treat  her,  or  stint  her  in  food  or 
raiment,  the  sin  be  on  your  own  neck,"  These  questions 
and  answers  are  repeated  three  times,  after  which  the 
betrothal  (if  such  it  can  be  called  !)  is  considered 
complete. 

The  girl  until  then  is  entirely  ignorant  of  the  fact 
that  she  is  going  to  be  given  in  marriage.  If  by  chance 
she  should  find  out  what  has  happened,  custom  demands 
that  she  should  at  least  make  a  pretence  of  escaping  to 
the  mountains.  But  she  does  not  exactly  do  so,  as 
we  shall  see,  unless  she  entertains  a  strong  dislike  for 
her  suitor.  Therefore,  if  such  is  not  the  case,  the  girl 
continues  to  perform  her  daily  labours  as  before.  Sup- 
posing that  everything  has  been  carefully  concealed  from 
her,  she  is  informed  of  the  change  that  is  in  store  for 
her  in  the  following  not  very  gentle  manner  :  The 
notary,  with  the  would-be  bridegroom's  mantle  in  his 
hands,  come  stealthily  behind  her,  as  she  sits  in  the 
family  tent  in  the  evening  on  her  return  from  tending 


ARABS  73 

the  flocks,  and  suddenly  throws  it  over  her.  Previously 
to  this  her  relations  have  been  surreptitiously  burning 
incense  or  some  lighted  embers  behind  her  to  avert  the 
dread  influence  of  the  "  evil  eye."  On  throwing  the 
mantle  over  her,  the  notary  says,  "  The  name  of  God 
be  with  thee  ;  none  but  such  an  one  (naming  the  man) 
shall  have  thee  !  "  Thereupon  the  girl  starts  up  and 
tries  to  escape,  calling  upon  her  father  and  mother  for 
help  with  loud  cries  and  shrieks.  Women  collect  round 
her  and  seize  hold  of  her,  repeating  noisily  the  notary's 
words. 

The  next  proceeding  is  to  erect  a  tent  for  her  in  front 
of  that  of  her  father,  to  which  she  is  conducted,  and 
then  sprinkled  with  the  blood  of  a  sheep  sacrificed  for 
the  occasion.  Here  she  abides  for  three  days,  and  on  the 
fourth  day  is  led  in  procession  by  the  women  to  some 
neighbouring  spring  where  she  washes  herself.  They 
then  lead  her  to  the  tent  of  the  bridegroom,  who  gives 
a  great  feast  in  her  honour.  The  neighbours  also  kill 
a  sheep  as  a  contribution  to  the  entertainment,  and 
receive  a  small  sum  of  money  from  the  bride's  father  ; 
who  also  gives  the  bridegroom  a  branch  of  a  shrub,  or 
something  green,  which  he  puts  in  his  turban  and 
wears  for  three  days  to  show  that  he  has  married  a 
maid  and  not  a  widow. 

According  to  the  late  Professor  E.  H.  Palmer,  the 
distinguished  Arabic  scholar,  whose  death  a  few  years 
ago  was  greatly  lamented,  the  only  tribe  who  depart  in 
any  degree  from  the  customs  here  described  are  the 
Emzeineh  Arabs  ;  with  them,   the  girl,  instead    of  re- 


74  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

maining    three  days    in    a   tent    near   her    father,   does 
actually  run  away  and  hide  in  the  mountains. 

We  have  said  that  Arab  marriages  are  always 
"  arranged  "  and  that  is  true  ;  but,  nevertheless,  their 
women  are  not  entirely  unromantic.  Occasionally  it 
does  happen  that  a  young  girl  falls  in  love  with  a  man 
she  has  met — it  may  be  at  some  festival  or  at  the  tomb 
of  a  saint.  In  that  case,  if  her  parents  should  betroth 
her  to  another,  she  takes  advantage  of  the  three  days' 
grace  allowed  and  escapes  to  some  neighbour,  who  will 
pity  her  and  take  her  in  •  and  she  stays,  obstinately 
refusing  to  leave  until  the  man  she  so  dislikes  re- 
linquishes his  claim.  Her  relatives,  not  wishing  to 
force  her  into  the  marriage  against  her  will,  make  terms 
with  the  disappointed  lover  as  best  they  can.  The  story 
of  Jebel  el  Benat  or  "  the  Girls'  Mount  "  affords  an 
interesting  example  of  these  occasional  romances.  Two 
girls,  who  were  betrothed  to  men  they  heartily  disliked, 
found  their  way  to  the  mountains  and  there  perished  of 
hunger  rather  than  prove  faithless  to  their  lovers. 
Burckhardt  says  they  twisted  their  hair  together  and 
threw  themselves  from  the  cliffs,  but  this  part  of  the 
story  is  now  forgotten   in  Sinai. 

Mr.  Layard,  in  his  "  Nineveh  and  Babylon," 
describing  a  marriage  celebrated  near  Nimroud,  says 
that  the  bride  and  bridegroom  entered  into  a  legal 
contract  in  the  presence  of  witnesses.  On  the 
following  day  the  bride,  covered  from  head  to  foot 
by    a    thick    veil,  was    escorted    by    her    friends,  with 


ASSYRIA  75 

music,  to  the  bridegroom's  house.  Here  she  was 
actually  kept  behind  a  curtain,  in  the  corner  of  a 
darkened  room,  for  three  days  !  During  all  that 
time  the  guests  were  feasting.  The  courtyard  of 
the  house  was  filled  with  dancers  and  players.  On 
the  third  day  the  bridegroom  was  led  in  triumph 
from  house  to  house,  and  at  each  received  some 
present.  He  was  then  placed  within  the  circle  of 
dancers,  and  the  guests,  wetting  small  coins,  stuck 
them  on  his  forehead.  As  the  money  fell  it  was 
collected  in  a  handkerchief  held  open  under  the 
bridegroom's  chin.  Then  followed  a  curious  episode. 
A  party  of  young  men  rushed  into  the  crowd,  and 
carrying  off  the  most  wealthy  guests,  proceeded  to 
lock  them  up  in  a  dark  room  until  they  paid 
ransom  for  their  release,  which  they  did  without  any 
ill-feeling.  All  the  money  collected  was  added  to 
the  dowry. 


CHAPTER   V 

Turkey  and  Syria 

'  I  'HE  ceremonies  attending  a  Turkish  wedding  are 

A        thoroughly    Eastern,    and    it   would    be   easy   to 

point    out    resemblances    to  customs  which  have  been 

already  described  in  our  accounts  of  China,  or  Japan, 

Arabia  and  more  especially  Persia,     The  go-betweens 

or     match-makers     play    an     important     part.       They 

are    generally  old  women  who  visit    one    harem    after 

another    hawking    such    articles    of    commerce    as    the 

fair    ladies    are    likely    to    require,  and    so    they    have 

exceptional     opportunities     for     arranging     marriages. 

Nor    are     the     harems     their     only     happy     hunting 

ground,   for    they  sometimes  look   in    at    the    schools. 

An    English    teacher    once    saw  an    old  woman    enter 

a    class    in    a    Turkish    school,  walk   round   the   table, 

and  look  searchingly  at  the  elder  girls.      On    inquiry 

the  teacher  was  told  that  the  old  lady  was  "  looking 

out  for  a  wife  for  somebody."      When  a  mother  wishes 

to    get    her    son    married    she    visits    the   harems  with 

a    match-maker    and    some    of   her    relatives,  and   has 

a    good     look     round.      Having     found     a    girl    who 

seems     suitable,     she     informs    the     mother,    who    is 

76 


TURKEY  77 

usually  one  of  the  inmates  of  the  harem,  and  is 
received  by  her  with  the  utmost  courtesy.  But  if 
the  girl  selected  should  be  a  younger  daughter  it 
is  the  custom  to  offer  the  eldest  first.  We  will 
suppose,  however,  in  order  to  simplify  matters,  that 
she  is  the  eldest.  Presently  the  favoured  one 
enters,  arrayed  in  her  best  attire,  and  is  presented 
to  the  honoured  guests.  She  kisses  their  hands  and 
offers  them  coffee.  On  her  disappearance  it  is  usual 
to  make  very  complimentary  remarks,  such  as, 
"  What  a  beauty  !  "  or  to  compare  her  to  the  full 
moon.  The  slightest  criticism  would  be  considered 
quite  out  of  place.  Then  the  young  man's  mother, 
who  has  the  advantage  because  her  son  is  not 
present,  gives  an  exaggerated  account  ot  his  character 
and  position,  stating  at  the  same  time  the  amount 
of  the  dowry  to  be  settled  on  the  young  lady. 
She  also  makes  inquiries  with  regard  to  the  amount 
of  her  fortune,  if  any.  On  taking  leave  she  re- 
marks, "If  it  is  their  kismet  (fate)  they  may  become 
better  acquainted."  Should  the  negotiations  proceed 
favourably,  presents  are  exchanged  between  the  two 
parties  ;  the  future  mother-in-law  visits  the  house 
bringing  with  her  several  yards  of  red  silk  and  some 
sugar-plums.  The  silk  having  been  spread  out  on 
the  floor,  the  bride-elect  steps  upon  it,  kisses  the  hand 
of  her  future  mother-in-law,  and  receives  her  blessing, 
also  some  sweets.  One  of  these  she  bites  in  two, 
keeping  the  one  half  and  returning  the  other  as  a 
love-token     for     her     future     husband.      After    a    few 


/H  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

days  the  young  man  sends  a  present  of  money  as 
a  contribution  towards  the  wedding  expenses.  The 
ci\il  marriage  takes  place  eight  days  after  the  be- 
trtithal.  A  contract  is  drawn  up  in  which  the 
hushaiui  states  the  aniount  he  settles  on  his  wite  in 
the  event  ot  his  death,  or  if  she  should  be 
divorced,  and  the  document  is  duly  witnessed.  He 
declares  before  the  priest  (imam)  three  times  his 
willingness  to  wed  the  young  lady  ;  and  she  re- 
plies three  times,  in  answer  to  the  priest's  questions, 
stating  her  willingness  to  marry  the  man  who  has 
been  chosen  tor  her.  But  she  is  invisible,  and  her 
answers  come  from  the  door  of  the  women's  apart- 
ments. Thus  is  the  civil  marriage  effected  ;  but 
the  bride  and  bridegroom  are  not  allowed  to  meet 
until  the  marriage  festivities  are  ended,  and  that  may 
not  be  tor  several  weeks — in  some  cases,  many 
months. 

A  week  before  the  wedding-day,  the  bridegroom 
sends  the  wedding-dress  to  the  bride's  house.  The 
festivities  begin  on  a  Monday,  and  on  that  day 
the  bride's  parents  (as  in  China)  send  the  trousseau 
and  a  number  ot  useful  domestic  articles  to  the 
future  home  ot  their  daughter.  These  are  borne  in 
procession  by  porters.  They  also  decorate  the  bridal 
chamber  very  elaborately.  On  Tuesday  the  bride 
is  taken  to  the  bath  by  her  lady  friends.  On 
Wednesday  her  mother  receives  the  female  friends 
of  the  bridegroom,  who  are  led  into  a  room  to 
which    the    bride    is    presently    brought.      She     kisses 


5< 


S9  ;^ 


TURKEY  79 

the  hands  of  her  mother-in-law  and  takes  a  seat 
by  her  side.  The  elder  women  give  sugar  to  the 
mother-in-law  and  transfer  it  from  her  mouth 
to  that  of  her  daughter-in-law,  as  a  symbol  of 
sweet  and  pleasant  relations  between  them.  These 
friends  then  depart,  and  coins  are  scattered  to  the 
beggars  who  wait  round  the  house  ;  but  they  re- 
turn in  the  evening  to  witness  the  ceremony  of 
the  henna.  On  their  arrival  a  taper  is  given  to 
one  of  the  party,  and  a  procession  is  formed  with 
the  bride  at  its  head  to  the  garden,  where  they 
wind  in  and  out  among  the  flower  beds,  while  the 
gipsy-players  make  strange  music  and  the  dancing 
girls  practise  their  graceful  art.  The  effect  is  said 
to  be  most  beautiful. 

The  henna  ceremony,  or  application  of  the  henna 
mixture  then  takes  place  ;  the  mother  of  the  bride 
applies  the  paste  to  her  hands  and  feet,  and  when  the 
skin  has  been  stained  to  a  deep  orange  colour,  it  is 
washed  off.  Meanwhile  the  guests  look  on  at  a  certain 
dance  called  the  sakusum.  On  the  next  day  (Thursday) 
the  bride  leaves  her  home  ;  just  before  departing  her 
father  puts  a  girdle  on  her,  and  both  father  and  mother 
weep  over  her  while  she  lies  at  their  feet— apparently 
overcome  with  grief.  Arrived  at  the  bridegroom's 
house,  she  is  expected,  for  the  sake  of  appearances,  to 
show  great  reluctance  to  enter.  Some  brides  have  been 
known  to  boast  how  much  pressing  they  required  on 
this  occasion,  and  it  is  on  record  that  husbands  have 
had  to  wait  for  a  whole  hour  !     The  bridegroom,  after 


8o  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

receiving  her,  returns  to  the  men's  quarters  while  the 
ladies  inspect  her  trousseau,  and  then  he  attends  the 
mosque.  After  the  fifth  prayer  he  may  enter  the 
harem  and  see  his  bride  tor  the  first  time.  It  is  said 
that,  on  proceeding  to  the  women's  apartments,  he 
upsets  a  bowl  of  water  on  the  stairs  and  scatters  it 
in  all  directions.  The  bride  is  now  expecting  her 
husband,  who  is  led  to  her,  in  the  gaily  decorated 
nuptial  chamber,  by  a  matron.  This  person  raises  the 
bride's  veil  from  off  her  face  and  spreads  it  out  on  the 
floor,  so  that  the  husband  may  kneel  on  it  while  he 
offers  up  a  prayer,  the  bride  standing  meanwhile  on  its 
edge  and  behind  his  back.  It  is  said  by  a  writer  on 
Eastern  life  that  on  this  occasion  a  curious  little  trick  is 
played  by  the  bride,  and  one  which  has  its  counterparts 
in  China  and  in  Russia  ;  for  before  her  husband  raises 
the  veil  to  get  a  glimpse  of  her  features,  she  slyly 
advances  her  foot  and  tries  to  tread  on  his  toe.  If  she 
succeeds  in  so  doing,  it  is  considered  that  she  will  be 
the  ruler  at  home  !  From  this  it  appears  that  the  veil 
is  not  always  raised  by  the  old  woman,  as  is  stated  above  ; 
but  there  are  sure  to  be  little  differences  according  to 
the  locality.  The  matron  has  not  yet  departed,  for  she 
has  another  Httle  ceremony  to  perform,  namely,  showing 
them  their  reflections  in  a  mirror  while  she  knocks  their 
heads  together  so  that  the  images  may  appear  united. 
They  then  put  lumps  of  sugar  in  their  mouths  and  pass 
them  to  each  other.  At  last,  the  old  matron  retires 
and  they  are  left  alone. 

On  the  following  day  a  reception  takes  place,  and  the 


THE   ARMENIANS  8i 

newly-married  couple  eat  together  at  "  the  feast  of  the 
sheep's  trotters." 

The  Armenians  do  not,  as  a  rule,  allow  their 
daughters  much  freedom,  and  in  consequence  marriages 
are  in  most  cases  "  arranged,"  the  go-between  being 
usually  a  priest.  But  in  Smyrna  and  Constantinople, 
where  young  people  are  allowed  to  see  more  of  each 
other,  it  need  not  be  surprising  to  learn  that  they  some- 
times settle  their  own  fate.  Armenians  believe  in  lucky 
times  for  marriages,  and  since  these  occasions  are  few 
and  far  between,  it  follows  that  a  large  number  of  couples 
are  sometimes  united  in  a  single  day.  An  English 
traveller  once  saw  sixty  bridegrooms  at  the  altar  rails 
awaiting  their  brides  ;  and  on  that  occasion  a  most  un- 
fortunate mistake  was  made.  Two  brides  of  similar 
height  somehow  changed  places  and  were  each  married 
to  the  man  engaged  to  the  other.  Divorce  is  not 
allowed  in  this  country,  and  so  a  pretty  but  poor 
peasant  maid  became  the  wife  of  a  comparatively  rich 
middle-class  man,  while  a  wealthy  but  plain  lady  was 
united  to  a  blacksmith  ! 

The  wedding  celebrations  usually  begin  on  a  Friday, 
the  actual  marriage  taking  place  on  the  following 
Monday.  As  with  Turks  and  others  the  bride  is  taken 
by  her  companions  to  the  bath.  Saturday  is  devoted 
to  feasting,  in  which  the  poor  are  not  forgotten.  On 
Sunday  there  is  still  more  feasting.  The  young  men 
wait  upon  the  girls,  who  sit  down  first  ;  then  the 
married  couples  and  lastly  the  young  men. 


82  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

Monday  evening  is  devoted  to  the  religious  ceremony. 
The  bride's  dress  is  very  curious  ;  her  whole  figure  is 
enveloped  in  crimson  silk,  a  silver  plate  resting  on  her 
head.  Also  a  large  pair  of  cardboard  wings,  covered 
with  feathers,  are  fastened  on  to  her  head.  The  ring 
and  wedding  garments  are  blessed  by  the  priest,  as  a 
precaution  against  the  tricks  of  evil  spirits,  of  which  we 
shall  have  more  to  say  presently.  And  now  the  dis- 
guised bride  is  conducted  back  to  the  reception  room 
to  begin  the  dance  with  her  father,  or  nearest  relative, 
while  the  others  throw  coins  at  her.  Then  the  bride- 
groom, whose  wedding  garments  have  been  consecrated, 
is  led  up  to  the  bride  by  her  mother,  for  the  second 
betrothal,  which  may  be  thus  briefly  described.  The 
priest,  after  reading  the  89th  Psalm,  places  the  right 
hand  of  the  bride  in  that  of  the  bridegroom  with  these 
words  : — • 

"  When  God  presented  Eve's  hand  to  Adam,  Adam 
said,  '  This  is  now  bone  of  my  bone,  and  flesh  of  my 
flesh.'  .  .  .  What  therefore  God  hath  joined  together 
let  no  man  put  asunder."  A  small  cross  is  then  tied 
upon  their  foreheads.  Arrived  at  church,  the  first  part 
of  the  ceremony  takes  place  in  the  porch.  The  122nd 
Psalm  is  read,  and  the  bridal  pair,  after  confessing  their 
sins,  receive  absolution.  An  exhortation  follows,  after 
which  the  priest  asks  each  separately  whether  he  or  she 
will  remain  faithful  to  the  other,  "  though  that  one 
become  blind,  sick,  crippled,  or  deaf,"  receiving  the 
answer  "  yes."  Joining  their  hands  he  then  off'ers  up 
certain    prayers    and    leads    them    to    the    altar.     The 


THE   ARMENIANS  83 

wedding  mass  is  celebrated  ;  bride  and  bridegroom  are 
crowned  and  receive  the  sacrament.  On  arrival  at  the 
bridegroom's  house  a  sheep  is  sacrificed  at  the  threshold, 
as  among  the  Arabs,  and  the  party  step  over  its  blood. 
Having  taken  their  seats  side  by  side  on  a  sofa,  the 
husband  and  wife  now  drink  a  cup  of  consecrated  wine 
together.  The  guests  come  and  offer  their  felicitations. 
The  bride  is  still  enveloped  in  her  red  silk,  and  now 
a  baby  boy  is  laid  on  her  lap  with  the  words,  "  May 
you  be  a  happy  mother."  Then  they  all  dance,  the 
bride  leading  ofi^  with  her  husband. 

For  several  days  following,  the  newly-married  pair 
must  submit  to  the  tedious  ceremony  of  "  wearing  the 
crowns."  This  may  last  as  long  as  eight  days,  but,  as 
a  rule,  the  priest  removes  the  crowns  (which  have  been 
worn  day  and  night)  on  the  following  Wednesday 
evening.  At  this,  the  final  ceremony,  the  priest  brings 
their  heads  together  till  their  foreheads  touch,  rests  a 
sword  and  a  cross  upon  them,  gives  a  blessing,  and 
warns  them  against  unfaithfulness.  The  cross  is  the 
holy  symbol  of  their  religion,  while  the  sword  reminds 
them  of  the  swift  and  sure  punishment  of  God  should 
they  not  keep  true  to  their  vows.  Again  conse- 
crated wine  is  drunk,  and  now,  at  last,  they  are  left 
alone. 

Armenians  have  a  curious  custom  with  regard  to  the 
bride's  father-in-law.  A  bride  may  not  speak  to  any 
of  her  husband's  relatives  until  she  has  first  asked  and 
obtained  permission  from  the  father-in-law,  and  on 
giving  this  permission  he  bids  her  lay  aside  the  veil. 


84  MARRIAGE  CUSTOMS 

But  it  is  said  that  this  important  person  sometimes 
sternly  refuses  his  consent,  and  that  many  a  bride  has 
gone  through  married  life  without  ever  speaking  to  the 
parents  of  her  husband  !  Doubtless  we  have  here 
a  relic  from  prehistoric  days  when  a  father-in-law  was 
"  taboo  "  as  he  still  is  in  certain  countries.  With  regard 
to  the  custom  previously  alluded  to  of  blessing  the 
wedding  garments,  it  appears  that  here  also  is  a  relic  of 
prehistoric  superstitions.  These  people — at  least  the 
peasants — seem  to  have  a  strong  belief  in  evil  spirits 
(^djins),  which  are  supposed  to  be  particularly  busy 
during  the  first  forty  days  of  married  life.  Also  at 
night,  so  that  newly  married  couples  do  not  venture 
out  after  dark,  unless  accompanied  by  some  responsible 
relative.  Both  Mussulmans  and  Armenians  say  that, 
unless  a  new  garment  is  blessed,  the  djins  will  come  and 
steal  it,  and  of  this  they  are  quite  convinced.  There  is 
a  story  to  the  effect  that  these  mischievous  beings  once 
spirited  away  an  old  Turkish  woman  and  kept  her  in 
an  underground  palace  for  three  days.  On  her  return 
she  told  her  friends  of  the  strange  scenes  she  had 
witnessed,  and  assured  them  that  the  dji>is  wore  clothes 
stolen  from  human  beings.  It  seems  to  the  author 
that  we  have  here  legends  based  on  facts  which  of  late 
years  have  been  brought  to  light  by  archasologists  and 
others.  There  undoubtedly  were  once  "  little  people  " 
(fairies)  living  in  underground  dwellings,  who  stole 
whatever  they  could  lay  their  hands  upon  and  were 
very  active  at  night.  The  author  has  dealt  with  this 
subject  in  his  previous  work  entitled  "  Prehistoric  Man 


THE   DRUSES  85 

and  Beast,"  to  which  the  reader,  desirous  of  information, 
is  referred. 

Among  the  Druses  of  Mount  Lebanon,  when  one  of 
their  Sheikhs  wishes  to  marry,  he  sends  a  messenger  to 
the  father  of  the  girl  that  takes  his  fancy,  and  demands 
his  consent.  On  being  accepted  as  son-in-law  he  sends 
the  young  woman  presents  of  clothes  and  jewels  as 
a  pledge  of  fidelity.  On  the  day  appointed  for  the 
wedding,  a  contract  is  drawn  up  with  the  father  and 
signed  by  witnesses.  Before  this  contract  is  read  out 
some  passages  from  the  Koran  are  recited  in  order  to 
give  a  kind  of  religious  sanction,  according  to  the 
Mohammedan  custom,  to  which  religion  the  Druses 
outwardly  conform. 

The  bride,  veiled  and  mounted  on  horseback,  and 
attended  by  a  long  train  of  attendants  of  both  sexes, 
proceeds  to  the  abode  of  her  future  husband.  Here 
for  a  week  or  so  festivities  have  been  going  on.  As 
soon  as  the  bride  approaches,  the  entire  body  of  tenants 
and  dependants  of  the  Sheikh  advance  to  meet  her,  and 
the  meeting  takes  place  at  a  distance  of  a  mile  or  two 
from  the  houses.  Both  parties  being  liberally  supplied 
with  blank  cartridges,  a  mock  fight  takes  place. 
Extending  in  skirmishing  order  the  Druses  now  display 
all  the  tactics  of  guerilla  warfare,  both  in  attack  and 
defence.  Rocks,  trees,  and  eminences  of  any  kind  are 
successively  secured  and  abandoned  until  the  bride- 
groom's party  is  gradually  driven  back  to  his  village, 
which     is     vigorously    defended.       At    length,    amidst 


86  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

shouts  of  exultation,  and  a  deafening  discharge  of 
musketry,  the  bride  comes  up  and  is  borne  along  pell- 
mell  into  the  harem.  Some  two  or  three  thousand 
men  are  now  collected  on  the  scene  ;  those  on  foot 
hastily  arrange  themselves  on  either  side,  while  the 
Druse  Sheikhs,  on  their  high-bred  Arab  steeds,  their 
spirit  aroused  by  the  mimic  warfare  in  which  they  have 
been  engaging,  commence  the  game  called  jereed 
with  great  zeal.  They  are  naturally  anxious  to 
exhibit  their  skill  and  prowess  before  the  assembled 
vassals,  and  not  altogether  unconscious  that  from  the 
high  latticed  windows  of  the  harem  many  a  dark  eye  is 
looking  down  upon  them  with  no  small  admiration. 

Meanwhile  the  bride,  having  received  the  caresses 
and  congratulations  of  her  new  relations,  is  conducted 
to  a  separate  chamber  and  placed  on  a  divan  with  a 
large  tray  of  sweetmeats  and  confectionery  before  her, 
after  which  the  women  all  retire  and  she  is  left  alone 
with  a  veil  of  muslin  and  gold  over  her  head  and 
shoulders.  Presently  she  hears  footsteps  at  the  door  ; 
it  opens,  her  husband  approaches,  lifts  the  veil  from  her 
face,  takes  one  glance — and  withdraws.  Returning  to 
the  reception  room  he  takes  his  seat  among  the  guests. 
Pipes  and  coffee  are  handed  round,  and  all  present  offer 
their  good  wishes.  He,  however,  maintains  an  imper- 
turbable silence,  his  mind  is  supposed  to  be  entirely 
absorbed  by  one  engrossing  object — the  bride.  His 
brother,  who  sits  by  his  side,  makes  the  necessary 
acknowledgments. 

When  the  Sheikhs  have  dined,  others  come  in  and  are 


THE   DRUSES  87 

hospitably  entertained.  Musicians  come  in  the  evening, 
and  it  is  midnight  before  the  party  breaks  up.  All 
the  Sheikhs  make  presents  to  the  bride,  according  to 
their  means.  Lady  Burton,  who  once  witnessed 
a  Druse  wedding,  says  ^  that  the  women  take  a  great 
delight  in  preparing  the  bride.  The  Turkish  bath,  the 
diet,  the  plucking  of  the  eyebrows,  the  henna^  and  the 
hosts  of  cosmetics,  are  studies  in  which  all  the  harem 
take  the  greatest  interest.  Old  women  are  always 
employed  in  these  matters,  and  they  like  to  show  how 
much  they  have  learned.  She  also  describes  a  most 
exciting  romp  which  took  place  in  the  harem,  where 
the  wives  screamed,  and  pinched  and  pulled  one  another 
about,  just  like  a  lot  of  school  girls. 

Dr.  W.  M.  Thomson  ~  describes  how,  on  one  of  his 
journeys  in  the  Holy  Land,  a  little  girl  of  twelve  years, 
the  daughter  of  his  guide,  accompanied  his  party  on 
foot.  She  was  a  bride-elect,  and  her  father  was  taking 
her  to  her  future  husband,  who  had  purchased  her  for 
about  forty  dollars.  Except  a  young  donkey  she  had 
no  companion  or  friend  of  any  kind.  Arrived  at  the 
camp,  she  was  immediately  taken  to  the  harem  of  her 
lord  and  master,  the  Sheikh.  She  had  no  outfit,  and 
even  discarded  the  boots  in  which  she  started  from  her 
mother's  tent. 

Syrian  ladies  lead  a  life  of  great  seclusion  ;  they  are 
closely  veiled  from  head  to  foot  when  they  go  abroad. 
As  a  rule,  a  man  cannot  eat  with  his  wife  and  daughters, 

'   "  The  Inner  Life  of  Syria,  Palestine,  and  the  Holy  Land." 
=  "  The  Land  and  the  Book." 


88  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

because  the  meal  is  in  a  public  room,  and  strangers 
may  be  there.  Moslem  women  never  join  in  the 
prayers  at  church  ;  they  are  accommodated  with  a  part 
railed  off",  and  a  lattice  shields  them  from  the  public 
gaze.  The  jealousy  of  their  husbands  goes  to  great 
lengths.  For  example,  a  Druse  Sheikh,  or  wealthy 
Moslem,  when  he  calls  for  a  physician  for  any  lady 
of  his  harem,  makes  a  great  mystery  of  the  matter. 
Should  the  doctor  ask  to  see  the  poor  creature's  tongue, 
there  is  much  manoeuvring  to  avoid  exposure.  Some- 
times she  thrusts  her  tongue  through  a  rent  in  the  veil 
made  for  the  purpose.  Again,  it  is  considered  quite 
improper  for  an  unmarried  lady  to  show  any  special 
regard  for  her  future  husband.  Arabs  give  very  poetic 
names  to  their  daughters,  such  as  sun,  moon,  star,  rose, 
lily,  diamond,  or  pearl.  Married  women  think  a  great 
deal  of  ornaments  and  jewelry.  They  wear  gay  flowers, 
paint  their  cheeks,  putting  kohl  round  their  eyes,  as 
the  Egyptians  did  of  old,  and  stain  both  their  hands 
and  feet  with  henna.  But  unmarried  girls  are  not 
allowed  such  vanities.  So  little  are  women  esteemed 
that  small  boys  often  lord  it  over  their  mothers  and 
sisters  in  a  most  insolent  manner.  Husbands  rule  their 
wives  with  the  greatest  severity,  not  even  sparing  the 
rod. 

Among  the  Syrian  Christians  weddings  usually  take 
place  on  a  Sunday.  Friday  is  devoted  to  the  cere- 
monies of  the  bath,  and  on  Saturday  all  the  neighbours 
come  in  to  see  the  bride-elect,  who  is  painted  and  gaily 


THE   SYRIANS  89 

dressed,  and  to  offer  their  congratulations.  During 
the  two  previous  days  invitations  to  the  wedding  are 
conveyed  to  all  friends — to  the  women  by  two  women, 
and  to  the  men  by  two  men.  Catholics  attend  the 
church,  but  Protestants  are  married  in  the  bridegroom's 
house.  The  wedding  day  must  be  a  trying  ordeal  for 
the  bride  ;  she  is  placed  on  a  chair,  and  her  hands,  being 
painted  with  henna ^  rest  on  a  silk  handkerchief  spread 
out  on  her  knees.  Thus  she  must  sit,  arrayed  in  her 
gay  wedding  dress,  for  hours  together  in  a  room 
crowded  to  suffocation  ;  and  it  is  not  considered 
correct  for  her  to  open  her  eyes,  even  for  a  moment ! 
When,  at  last,  the  bridegroom  sends  for  her,  she  starts 
off  at  once,  accompanied  by  only  two  married  women 
chosen  by  her  mother.  It  is  a  sad  day  for  the  parents, 
who  frequently  display  much  real  grief  at  parting  with 
their  child.  The  bridegroom  sends  two  or  three  men 
and  a  number  of  women  to  fetch  his  bride  ;  should  the 
distance  to  his  house  be  considerable,  she  rides  to  her 
new  home.  If,  however,  the  house  is  in  the  same 
village,  or  town,  the  bride  walks,  very  slowly  and 
crying  all  the  way,  a  woman  at  each  side  supporting 
her,  for  it  is  considered  proper  for  a  bride  to  show 
the  greatest  reluctance  to  enter  the  house. 

As  a  rule  the  procession  takes  place  after  dark,  and 
then  the  accompanying  crowd  carry  lighted  candles. 
A  temporary  altar  is  erected  at  the  bridegroom's  house, 
and  a  priest,  or  bishop,  performs  the  ceremony.  The 
congregation  of  spectators,  holding  lighted  candles  in 
their  hands,  do  not  hesitate  to  indulge  in  conversation 


90  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

and  even  laughter  during  the  service.  Priest,  bride, 
and  bridegroom  walk  three  times  round  the  altar,  and  the 
crowns  are  placed  three  times  on  the  heads  of  the  man 
and  woman.  Everything  is  done  "  In  the  name  of  the 
Father,  and  of  the  Son,  and  of  the  Holy  Ghost."  The 
priest  also  blesses  the  bridal  chamber.  Feasting  and 
rejoicing  continue  for  several  days.  The  old  customs 
in  Syria,  as  elsewhere,  are  rapidly  changing  ;  and  young 
men,  instead  of  paying  a  sum  of  money  to  the  parents, 
often  seek  in  marriage  some  young  lady  who  will  bring 
them  wealth. 


CHAPTER   VI 

North  Africa 

I  'HE  marriage  ceremonies  of  modern  Egyptians 
resemble  those  of  Turkey  at  the  present  day,  so 
we  need  not  repeat  what  has  been  already  said  of  that 
country.  If  a  maiden,  in  spite  of  the  efforts  of  her 
parents,  has  not  succeeded  in  being  chosen,  and  desires 
to  obtain  a  husband,  tradition  prescribes  the  following 
mode  of  procedure.  She  must  go  on  a  Friday  to 
midday  prayer — the  most  solemn  service  in  the  whole 
week — in  the  Mosque  of  the  Daughters.  When  the 
believers  prostrate  themselves  for  the  first  time  at  the 
cry  of  the  Imam^  '•'■Allah  akhar'"  (God  is  Great),  and 
while  their  foreheads  touch  the  reed  mats  on  the  floor 
of  the  mosque,  she  must  walk  once  up  and  down  the 
space  dividing  two  ranks  of  worshippers.  Then, 
beyond  doubt,  within  a  year  she  will  become  a  wife. 
In  Egypt  girls  are  prepared  for  marriage  with  a  great 
deal  of  ceremony.  There  are  tirewomen  who  make 
the  beautifying  of  brides  their  special  profession.  On 
the  morning  of  the  wedding  the  bride  is  attired  in  her 
wedding  robes,  her  hair  plaited  with  the  Grecian  plait, 
small  pieces  of  gold  leaf  are  stuck  on  her  forehead,  and 


92  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

great  care  is  taken  not  to  conceal  any  of  the  stars  and 
spots  tattooed  on  her  face  and  chest  in  infancy.  A 
little  rouge  is  added.  Travellers  sailing  up  the  Nile 
may  sometimes  see  a  large  boat  going  across,  with  a 
gaily-coloured  canopy  containing  a  bride,  and  a  merry 
party  on  board  all  going  to  the  wedding. 

The  Mahdi,  whose  cruel  and  despotic  rule  in  the 
Sudan  has  caused  so  much  misery,  has  often  a  good 
deal  to  do  with  the  matrimonial  affairs  of  his  sub- 
jects. Slatin  Pasha,  in  his  deeply  interesting  book,' 
gives  an  example  of  the  arbitrary  way  in  which  this 
despot  exercises  his  authority.  Abu  Anga,  commander 
of  the  Black  Troops  (Jehadia),  and  his  brother,  Fandl 
Mania,  were  sons  of  a  liberated  slave-woman,  their 
father  being  one  of  the  Khalifa's  relatives,  b'andl 
Mania  had  a  great  friend  and  adviser,  by  name  Ahmed 
Wad  Yunes,  of  the  Shaigia  tribe.  One  day  they 
appeared  before  the  Khalifa,  and  the  former  asked 
permission  for  his  friend  Yunes  to  marry  a  certain 
girl  and  receive  the  prophet's  blessing.  Unfortunately, 
as  it  happened,  the  tyrant  was  in  a  bad  humour  on 
that  day  ;  the  girl's  father  was  at  once  sent  for,  and 
asked  whether  it  was  his  wish  to  bestow  the  hand  of 
his  daughter  on  Yunes.  Receiving  a  reply  in  the 
affirmative,  the  Khalifa,  wishing  to  show  his  authority, 
said,  "  I  have  decided,  and  consider  it  to  the  girl's 
advantage,  that  she  should  marry  Fandl  Mania.     Have 

'   "Fire   and    Sword    in    the    Sudan,"  1879-95,  by   R.   C.   Slatin 
Pasha.      Translated  by  Major  F.  R.  Wingatc.      London,  1896. 


ABYSSINIA  93 

you  any  objection?"  Needless  to  say  the  father 
assented,  for  he  da;red  not  refuse  ;  and  the  Khalifa, 
turning  to  his  attendants,  ordered  them  to  proceed  at 
once  to  read  the  form  of  prayer  and  blessing  used  at 
marriages,  which  they  did  forthwith,  and  dates  were 
partaken  of  by  the  bride  and  bridegroom.  Then  the 
Khalifa  dismissed  all  those  present,  and  "  Fadl  Mania 
departed,  one  wife  to  the  good,  whilst  Yunes  was  one 
hope  poorer  ;  but  what  the  girl  said  about  the  new 
arrangement  I  cannot  tell."  The  Pasha  was  detained 
for  seven  years  a  prisoner  in  the  Mahdi's  camp,  and 
is  probably  the  best  authority  on  the  ways  of  these 
Sudanese  Arabs  ;  and  he  states  that  he  knew  men  who, 
in  the  space  of  ten  years,  had  been  married  forty  or 
fifty  times  !  Also  that  there  are  many  women  who, 
during  the  same  period,  have  had  fifteen  or  twenty 
husbands,  and  in  their  case  the  law  enjoins  that 
between  each  divorce  they  must  wait  at  least  three 
months. 

The  people  of  Abyssinia  make  a  broad  distinction 
between  civil  and  religious  marriages.  The  former  are 
hardly  considered  binding,  and  so  can  be  dissolved  on 
some  very  slight  pretext,  while  the  latter  constitute  a 
solemn  tie  that  cannot  be  broken.  The  consequence 
is  that  only  those  whose  marriages  turn  out  happily 
bind  themselves  together  for  the  rest  of  their  days. 
Most  Abyssinians  prefer  a  more  temporary  and  ex- 
perimental form  of  alliance. 

The   civil    marriage   takes   place  in  a  tent    made  of 


94  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

wooden  stakes  and  reeds,  and  there  the  feast  is  held. 
Certain  places  which  we  may  call  "the  Seats  of  the 
Mighty"  are  reserved  for  distinguished  people,  but 
otherwise  there  is  very  great  freedom.  All  are  wel- 
come without  regard  to  age  or  rank,  and  feast  to  their 
heart's  content.  But  those  who  have  already  done  so 
must  leave  so  as  to  make  room  for  hungry  mortals 
outside  awaiting  their  turn,  and  sometimes  a  good  deal 
of  force  is  necessary  to  expel  them.  The  bride  is 
carried  on  a  man's  back  and  deposited  on  a  stool. 
The  bridegroom,  probably  in  imitation  of  the  ancient 
custom  of  carrying  off  wives  by  force,  takes  the  bride 
in  his  arms  and  carries  her  either  to  his  own  house 
or  round  her  own.  The  crowd  of  invited  guests 
follow  him  and  help  to  hold  the  orthodox  nuptial 
canopy  over  her. 

The  men  appear  to  be  devoid  of  all  sense  of  chivalry, 
and  are  very  harsh  and  rough  in  their  manner  towards 
a  wife.  Should  an  angry  husband  box  her  ears,  or 
strike  her  with  a  stick,  the  wife  will  bear  her  punish- 
ment with  admirable  fortitude.  In  some  cases,  if  the 
man  is  not  very  much  the  stronger  of  the  two,  she  may 
strike  her  husband  back,  but  as  a  rule  the  injured 
woman  replies  with  a  torrent  of  abuse  and  stinging 
insults.  Where  the  marriage  tie  is  so  loose  it  need 
not  be  wondered  at  that  married  women  are  often  great 
flirts,  and  endeavour  by  means  of  languishing  eyes  to 
attract  attention  from  those  who  happen  to  take  their 
fancy. 

When  Abyssinians  arrive  at  an    advanced   age  they 


^ 


TRIPOLI  95 

very  frequently  become  monks  or  nuns,  whether  they 
be  rich  or  poor,  married  or  unmarried.  The  rich  then 
deliver  over  their  possessions  to  their  children. 

The  handsome  and  well-built  people  of  Somaliland, 
some  of  whom  a  year  ago  were  so  much  admired  at 
the  Crystal  Palace,  have  a  curious  custom  of  shutting 
up  the  bride  and  bridegroom  for  seven  days.  Here 
follows  the  description  of  an  eye-witness.  "  We  were 
invited  into  a  steaming  mat-hut,  and  then  formally 
presented  to  a  youthful  bridegroom  who  appeared  as 
disconsolate  as  a  fresh  widower.  This  might  have 
been  due  to  the  suffocating  effect  of  the  unadulterated 
incense  which  ascended  from  a  small  copper  brazier 
placed  on  the  floor,  or  to  the  sudden  loss  of  a  coy 
bride  who,  on  our  approach,  had  taken  refuge  in  an 
adjoining  compartment,  which  was  sacred.  As  a 
prelude  to  the  holy  estate  of  matrimony,  bridegroom 
and  bride  are  confined  during  seven  days  in  one  of 
these  stifling  double-roomed  dens,  and  are  supposed  to 
hold  a  daily  levde  open  to  all  relatives  and  friends,  who 
are  licensed  to  chaff  them  to  their  hearts'  content."  i 

The  following  description  of  a  wedding  which  took 
place  in  Fezzan  about  fifty  years  ago  will  serve  to 
show  how  marriages  are  celebrated  by  the  Mohamme- 
dans of  Tripoli.  The  Sultan  had  given  two  of  his 
cast-off  women  in  marriage  to  two  of  his  own  slaves  : 
one  of  these  was  his  secretary  and  barber,  the  other  his 
'   "The  Unknown  Horn  of  Africa,"  by  F.  L.  James. 


96  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

groom.  For  several  days  there  were  gay  doings  in  the 
little  square  before  the  mosque.  The  first  night  the 
barber  and  secretary  (who  was  the  greatest  man  of  the 
two)  was  seated  in  state  on  a  carpet  and  mats  placed  on 
the  ground,  in  the  centre  of  the  square,  supported  on 
each  side  by  a  friend,  who,  as  well  as  himself,  was 
covered  with  fine  borrowed  clothes,  though  the  bride- 
groom of  course  showed  most  bright.  He  was  very 
solemn  and  dignified,  having  a  lighted  candle  and  lamp 
placed  on  the  ground  before  him.  The  men  and 
women  sung  round  him  until  near  midnight,  treating 
him  with  great  respect.  He  held  a  fan  in  his  hand, 
and  occasionally  bowed  to  the  company.  The  bride 
was  then  brought  from  the  castle,  surrounded  by  a 
great  concourse  of  women,  who  were  vociferating  in 
rapid  succession  their  cries  of  joy.  She  held  a  lighted 
candle  in  her  hand,  and  had  on  a  profusion  of  silver 
and  bead  ornaments  ;  she  was  quite  black  and  very 
handsome,  and  had  borne  three  children  to  the  Sultan, 
all  of  whom  had  died.  The  bridegroom  did  not  deign 
to  look  at  her,  but  suffered  the  procession  to  pass  along 
to  his  house  ;  when,  after  waiting  about  half  an  hour, 
he  rose  in  a  stately  manner,  and  leaning  his  hands  on 
the  friends  who  walked  on  each  side  of  him  (in  the 
manner  of  the  Bashaw  of  Tripoli  and  the  Sultan  of 
Fezzan)  he  slowly  proceeded  home,  the  dancers  follow- 
ing him  and  singing  songs  of  congratulation.  The 
second  night  passed  in  much  the  same  manner,  and  on 
the  following  day  the  bridegroom,  who  had  been  a  few 
hours   before  glittering  in  scarlet  and  gold,  was  seen 


MOROCCO  97 

cleaning    a   horse    in    the    street,   with    a    ragged    shirt 


on. 


The  people  of  Morocco,  both  men  and  women, 
take  a  great  delight  in  weddings.  Unfortunately, 
marriage  with  these  people  is  far  from  being  the  sacred 
tie,  or  the  life-long  union  of  Christian  men  and 
women.  Lightly  made,  it  is  lightly  broken,  and 
people  are  often  married  and  divorced  many  times 
before  they  reach  the  age  of  thirty  !  The  contracting 
parties  have  no  opportunities  for  making  each  other's 
acquaintance  before  the  wedding-day,  consequently  the 
first  few  months,  or  years,  of  their  married  life  are 
sometimes  very  stormy.  The  youths  in  Morocco 
usually  contrive  to  get  a  glimpse  of  their  future  brides 
by  hiding  in  their  mother's  room  when  the  young 
ladies  come  to  pay  their  respects  to  her.  As  in  most 
Eastern  countries,  marriages  are  "  arranged,"  not, 
however,  by  a  "  match-maker,"  but  very  often  by  some 
friend  of  the  young  man.  There  is  no  hard-and-fast 
rule  in  these  matters,  and  the  search  for  a  bride  is  often 
undertaken  by  the  young  man's  mother,  or  some  female 
relative.  Moorish,  tribes  are  made  up  of  duars,  or 
clans,  each  one  consisting  of  ten,  fifteen,  or  even  twenty 
families,  all  related  to  one  another,  and  a  man  usually 
marries  a  girl  belonging  to  his  own  duar.  If  a  suitable 
young  woman  cannot  be  found  in  the  town  or  village, 
a  search  will  be  made  among  those  who  inhabit  the 
mountains.  A  visitor  may  be  told  that  So-and-So  is  to  be 
married  at  a  certain  time,  but  on  inquiring  the  name  of 

8 


98  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

the  bride  they  say,   "  that  is   not  settled    yet,   but   we 
shall  be  sure  to  hear  of  a  girl  somewhere  !  " 

Generally,  when  a  mother  hears  of  some  nice  girl 
likely  to  prove  a  good  wife  to  her  son,  she  takes  two 
other  women  with  her  and  visits  the  young  lady's 
mother,  in  order  to  see  for  herself  whether  what  she 
has  heard  be  true.  Should  she  be  satisfied  she  asks  the 
mother  for  her  on  behalf  of  her  son,  and  the  mother 
replies,  "  Ask  her  father,  and  if  he  consents,  I  will 
give  her."  After  that  the  young  man  must  apply  to 
the  father,  and,  escorted  by  six  or  seven  men,  pays  him 
a  visit.  In  some  villages  the  head  man  has  a  great  deal 
to  do  with  the  arranging  of  marriages,  acting  the  part 
of  father  to  those  who  are  orphans,  and  in  any  case 
assisting  the  father  in  his  negotiation  with  the  suitor. 
The  formal  engagement  takes  place  in  the  head  man's 
presence.  The  amount  received  by  the  father  for  his 
daughter  varies  greatly,  and  depends  on  the  young 
man's  position  and  means.  It  is  never  less  than  twenty 
dollars,  and  sometimes  as  much  as  six  hundred  or  seven 
hundred.  The  bridegroom-elect  provides  an  ox  for 
the  feast  at  the  bride's  house,  and  it  he  can  afford  it 
another  to  be  killed  at  his  own  house.  The  people 
appear  to  attach  some  idea  of  sacrifice  to  the  killing  of 
an  ox  at  these  feasts.  Among  other  things  he  must 
provide  the  henna  for  staining  the  bride's  hands  and 
feet,  a  kind  of  earth  used  in  the  bath,  a  considerable 
quantity  of  wheat,  butter,  charcoal,  blankets,  &c.  The 
bride  buys  her  trousseau  partly  out  of  the  money 
received  by  her  father.      Girls    love  to   make   a   good 


MOROCCO  99 

show  at  their  weddings,  and  so  lay  by  what  they  can 
from  time  to  time  for  this  purpose.  Silver  and  gold 
bracelets  she  must  have,  and  now  she  can  afford  to 
buy  them.  Bright,  pretty  robes  she  must  also  have, 
one  of  cloth  and  another  of  silk.  But  she  also  makes 
one  or  two  garments  for  the  bridegroom. 

Feasting  goes  on  day  and  night  for  seven  days 
before  the  marriage  takes  place.  Early  on  the  first 
day  native  musicians  arrive  and  play  morning  and 
evening  for  several  days  ;  their  music  and  their 
chanting  sound  to  our  ears  very  dreary  and  mono- 
tonous, but  the  natives  are  delighted  with  it,  young 
and  old  leaving  their  work  to  come  and  listen  to  the 
strains.  As  with  the  Jews  of  old  and  the  Chinese  of 
to-day  (see  pp.  40,  89)  the  bride  is  expected  to  make 
great  lamentation  at  the  prospect  of  leaving  home,  and 
to  declare  that  she  has  no  wish  to  be  married,  which,  to 
say  the  least,  is  not  sincere.  Meanwhile,  on  the  first 
day,  a  messenger  is  sent  round  to  bid  the  guests  "  come 
to  the  marriage,  for  all  things  are  now  ready."  Then 
the  ox,  or  the  two  oxen,  as  the  case  may  be,  are  led  to 
the  slaughter.  In  the  afternoon  the  bride  is  taken  by 
her  girl  friends  to  the  bath,  returning  late  in  the 
evening.  The  feasting  goes  on  merrily  ;  guests,  all 
arrayed  in  their  best,  remain  with  the  bride  all  night, 
talking  and  laughing  and  making  jokes,  while  she,  poor 
thing,  lies  on  the  ground  wrapped  up  in  her  blanket  ! 
On  the  next  day  also  there  is  a  great  gathering  of 
women  and  girls,  the  house  and  all  its  precincts  being 
crowded  with  guests. 


100  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

On  the  third  day  the  final  preparations  are  made,  the 
bride  again  audibly  bemoaning  her  fate.  The  lawyers 
draw  up  a  marriage  contract  and  make  a  complete  list 
of  all  her  worldly  possessions.  A  married  woman 
retains  her  own  property,  and  if  divorced,  as  is  often 
the  case,  can  claim  everything  that  is  written  down  on 
the  list.  An  hour  or  two  before  sunset  the  bridegroom 
sends  the  box  in  which  the  bride  is  to  be  conducted 
on  a  mule  to  his  house  ;  it  has  a  pointed  roof,  and  is 
only  just  big  enough  for  her  to  squat  in.  A  profes- 
sional woman  from  the  town  is  hired  to  dress  the  bride 
in  simple  white  clothes.  She  paints  her  face,  combs 
out  her  hair,  and  puts  on  her  jewels  for  her.  Then  a 
little  before  sunset  the  bridegroom's  men  come  with  a 
mule  (unless  the  distance  to  his  house  is  very  short)  to 
fetch  the  bride.  She  squats  in  the  little  box  and  is 
borne  in  procession  on  the  mule  all  round  the  town 
or  village,  the  men  dancing  round  her  and  firing  off 
their  matchlocks  every  few  minutes,  and  a  great  crowd 
following.  On  her  arrival  the  bridegroom,  mounted 
on  horseback,  comes  out  a  little  way  to  meet  her,  with 
his  cloak  drawn  over  his  head  so  far  as  to  cover  his 
face,  and  both  together  stop  for  a  few  minutes  at  the 
door  of  the  mosque,  while  the  fakih^  who  is  partly  a 
minister,  gives  them  his  blessing  and  wishes  them  all 
happiness.  At  last  they  reach  the  bridegroom's  house 
where  the  bride  is  received  by  women  only.  At  about 
ten  or  eleven  o'clock  the  women  retire,  and  the  husband 
and  wife  are  left  alone.  Very  early  next  morning  the 
former   goes   forth,  and   if  he  is  pleased  with   his  wife 


MOROCCO  loi 

there  is  more  firing  off"  of  guns.  This  seems  to  corre- 
spond with  the  shout  of  dehght  given  in  Syria  by  the 
friends  of  the  bridegroom,  when  they  "  hear  his  voice  " 
(see  p.  70).  But  the  poor  bride  has  to  go  through  yet 
another  ordeal  ;  for  on  the  day  after  the  wedding  she 
is  obliged  to  sit  on  the  bed,  with  a  curtain  before  her, 
to  be  looked  at.  All  day  long  the  married  women 
come  to  see  the  young  wife  while  she  is  thus  "  on 
view "  sitting  patiently  with  her  eyes  shut  !  Each 
woman  places  a  small  gift  in  her  hand  and  wishes  her 
every  blessing.  The  bridegroom,  meanwhile,  is  spend- 
ing a  merry  day  with  his  friends,  not  at  his  own  house, 
but  perhaps  at  some  neighbouring  garden,  and  he  also 
receives  presents.  On  the  fifth  and  sixth  days  the 
couple  are  left  pretty  much  to  themselves,  being  only 
visited  by  an  old  woman  who  brings  their  food,  but  on 
the  seventh  and  last  day,  the  husband  goes  out  to  the 
mosque  (or  perhaps  to  a  cafe)  while  his  bride  is  being 
adorned  once  more  ;  and  now  she  is  allowed  to  sit  on 
a  cushion,  or  in  a  chair.  Both  resume  their  girdles, 
which  are  not  worn  during  the  festivities.  For  many 
weeks,  or  even  months,  the  bride  is  not  allowed  to  go 
out.  After  a  long  period  of  seclusion  she  goes  to  visit 
her  mother  for  about  a  week.  After  that  a  good  dea" 
more  freedom  is  allowed  her.  It  will  be  evident  from 
the  above  account  that  weddings  in  Morocco  are  a 
source  of  great  expense.  We  are  sorry  to  be  obliged 
to  add  that,  although  the  Koran  certainly  does  not 
encourage  drinking  it  is  by  no  means  rare  for  one  or 
more  of  the  guests  to  get  drunk.      The  owner  of  the 


102  MARRIAGE  CUSTOMS 

house  is  not  expected  to  provide  wine,  or  strong  drink, 
but  very  often  some  of  the  men  bring  wine  with  them. 
In  the  cases  of  widows,  or  divorced  women,  the  mar- 
riage festivities  are  much  curtailed. 

In  some  parts  of  Algeria  and  Tunis  a  curious  custom 
is  still  practised.  When  the  bride  enters  her  new  home 
the  bridegroom,  walking  backwards,  holds  a  dagger  in 
his  hand,  and  she  follows  him,  touching  the  point  of 
the  blade  with  the  tips  of  her  fingers.  In  accordance 
with  another  still  stranger  custom,  the  unfortunate 
bride  is  obliged  to  stand  against  a  column  in  the  public 
place,  and  under  the  gaze  of  the  people,  for  two  hours 
or  more,  her  eyes  closed,  her  arms  hanging  straight 
down,  and  her  feet  resting  on  the  narrow  base  of  the 
column.  So  trying  is  the  ordeal  that  she  sometimes 
faints. 

A  Kabyle  wife  leads  a  much  happier  and  far  more 
rational  life  than  an  Arab  married  woman  ;  no  rival 
shares  her  husband's  heart — she  is  his  wife  in  the  best 
sense  of  the  word,  treated  with  affection  and  respect. 
She  takes  her  meals  with  the  family,  and  is  present 
even  when  there  are  guests  in  the  house.  In  summer, 
when  her  household  duties  permit,  she  assists  her 
husband  in  his  work,  taking  part  with  him  in  the 
labours  of  the  field.  Kabyle  women  are  decidedly 
more  handsome  than  those  of  the  Arabs,  or  of  the 
Moors. 

An  artist,'  who  has    travelled    in  Algeria   and   pub- 

'    Mr.  Edgar  Barclay.     "Mountain  Life  in  Algeria."     London  : 
Kegan,  Paul  &  Co.,  1892,  p.  82. 


THE   KABYLES  103 

lished  a  book  illustrated  by  his  own  drawings',  thus 
describes  what  he  saw  of  a  Kabyle  wedding  in  the 
neighbourhood  of  Borj   Boghni  : — 

"  The  bridegroom  had  gone  to  fetch  his  bride,  and 
I  waited  with  many  others  beside  a  stream  that  flowed 
at  the  foot  of  the  village,  for  his  return.  Suddenly 
we  heard  the  sound  of  pipes,  and  saw  the  marriage 
procession  streaming  from  the  summit  of  a  neigh- 
bouring hill,  and  then  lose  itself  among  the  trees  ;  a 
few  minutes  later  it  issued  from  the  avenue  near  us 
and  ascended  a  slope  towards  the  bridegroom's  house. 
First  came  the  pipers,  then  the  bride  muffled  up  in  a 
veil,  riding  a  mule  led  by  her  lover.  As  well  as  I 
could  judge,  she  was  very  young,  almost  a  child. 
Then  came  a  bevy  of  gorgeously  dressed  damsels, 
sparkling  with  silver  ornaments,  followed  by  a  crowd 
of  her  friends,  and  Kabyle  Dick  and  Harry.  In  front 
of  the  bridegroom's  house  the  procession  stopped  ;  the 
girl's  friends  lined  both  sides  of  the  pathway  and 
crowded  about  the  door.  The  pipers  marched  off  on 
one  side,  while  the  bridegroom  lifted  the  girl  from  the 
mule  and  held  her  in  his  arms.  The  girl's  friends 
thereupon  threw  earth  at  him,  when  he  hurried  forward 
and  carried  her  over  the  threshold,  those  about  the 
door  beating  him  all  the  time  with  olive  branches 
amid  much  laughter.  This  throwing  of  earth,  this 
mock  opposition  and  good-natured  scourging  appear 
to  be  a  symbolised  relic  of  marriage  by  capture,  and 
a  living  explanation  of  the  ancient  Roman  custom  of 
carrying    the   bride   over    the   threshold    of  her  lover's 


104  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

house  (see  pp.  8,  14,  15).  In  the  evening  on  such 
occasions  the  pipers  and  drummers  are  called  in,  and  the 
women  dance,  two  at  a  time  facing  each  other  ;  nor  does 
a  couple  desist  until,  panting  and  exhausted,  they  step 
aside  to  make  room  for  another.  The  dance  has  great 
energy  of  movement,  though  the  steps  are  small,  .  .  . 
As  leaves  flutter  before  the  gale  so  do  they  vibrate  to 
the  music  ;  they  shake,  they  shiver,  they  tremble.  .  .  . 
They  also  deride  the  men  by  clapping  their  hands  to 
the  music  and  singing  verses." 

In  ancient  Rome  customs  such  as  these  were  observed. 
The  bride  was  brought  home  in  procession,  with  singing 
and  the  music  of  the  flute  ;  she  was  carried  over  the 
threshold,  and  in  the  evening  there  was  a  marriage 
feast.  This  habit  of  carrying  the  bride  was  variously 
accounted  for.  "  Concerning  the  bride,  they  do  not 
allow  her  to  step  over  the  threshold  of  the  house,  but 
people  sent  forward  carry  her  over,  perhaps  because 
they  in  old  time  seized  upon  women  and  compelled 
them  in  this  manner."  '  Another  explanation  suggested 
by  Mr.  Barclay  is  that  the  bride  was  carried  in  order 
to  avoid  the  chance  of  tripping  at  the  threshold,  which 
would  have  been  considered  a  very  bad  omen  !  And 
he  quotes  a  verse  as  follows  : — 

"  Let  the  faithful  threshold  greet 
With  omens  fair,  those  lovely  feet, 

Lightly  lifted  o'er  : 
Let  the  garlands  wave  and  bow 
F"rom  the  lofty  lintel's  brow 

That  bedeck  the  door." 

'   See  Becker's  "Gallus." 


THE    KABYLES  105 

Theocritus,  in  his  "  Epithalamium  of  Helen," 
describes  the  twelve  first  maidens  of  the  city  forming 
the  dance  in  front  of  the  newly  painted  nuptial 
chamber,  "  And  they  began  to  sing,  I  ween,  all 
beating  time  to  one  melody  with  many  twinkling  feet, 
and  the  house  was  ringing  round  with  a  nuptial 
hymn." 


CHAPTER   VII 

Equatorial  Africa 

A  MONG  the  Ewe-speaking  people  of  the  Slave 
^^^  Coast  of  West  Africa,  a  girl  who  is  looking  out 
for  a  husband  pays  visits  to  her  relations  and  friends 
attired  in  her  best  garments,  and  adorned  with  the 
family  jewelry.  Should  some  suitor  come  forward,  he 
declares  his  intentions  by  sending  a  man  and  woman  to 
her  father's  house,  who  bring  two  large  flasks  of  rum 
and  deposit  them  on  the  floor,  with  the  remark,  "  Our 
uncle  wishes  to  marry  one  of  the  girls,"  and  then  retire 
as  soon  as  they  have  informed  the  father  of  the  name  of 
the  person  whom  they  represent.  Should  the  proposed 
union  be  regarded  in  a  favourable  light  by  the  girl's 
parents  they  return  the  flasks,  empty,  to  the  suitor, 
which  means  to  say  that  he  is  accepted.  Soon  after 
this  he  sends  round  two  more  flasks  of  rum,  together 
with  cowries  and  two  pieces  of  cloth  for  the  girl,  and 
enters  into  negotiations  with  the  parents  with  regard  to 
purchase  money.  When  the  fair  one  accepts  his  pre- 
sents of  cowries  and  cloth  she  is  betrothed  to  him.  If 
he  be  poor,  and  if  the  parents  demand  a  high  price  for 
their    daughter,    it    may    be    a    long    time    before    the 


SLAVE   COAST  107 

wedding  takes  place.    When  at  last  the  day  of  marriage 
comes,  the  parents  appear  to  show,  or  rather,  we  should 
say,   are   compelled   by   custom   to  show,   the    greatest 
possible  reluctance  to  part  with  their  daughter,  and  so  a 
curious  little  bit  of  comedy  takes  place.     Soon  after  day- 
break the  bridegroom  sends  a  messenger  with  a  present 
of  rum  to  ask  for  the  bride.     At  this  her  parents  affect 
great  reluctance,  and  delay  the  messenger  with  various 
excuses  until  about  noon.     A   second  messenger  then 
arrives  with  the  same  request,  but  still  the  bride  fails 
to   appear  ;  and   not  until  about  sunset,  when  a  third 
messenger  arrives   from  the  impatient  bridegroom,  do 
the  parents  consent  to  give  their  daughter  away.     The 
bride's   family    then    escort    her    to    the    bridegroom's 
house,  where    a    feast    is  held.      Finally  four  matrons 
deliver  the  bride  to  her  husband,  saying,  "  Take  her. 
If  she  pleases  you  and  behaves  well,  treat  her  kindly. 
If  she  behaves  ill,  correct  her."     Next  day,  if  all  has 
gone  well,  the  husband  (as  in    India)  sends  presents  to 
the  parents  ;  after  a  week  the  bride  returns  to  her  old 
home — probably  with  the  idea  of  showing  that  there  is 
no   ill-feeling    between    the    two  families.     Seven  days 
later  she  sends  her  husband  food  cooked  by  herself,  and 
finally  takes  up  her  abode  with  him.     It  is  interesting 
to    note  that  the  Turcomans,  as   well   as   Hindus  and 
other  peoples,  have  somewhat  similar  customs,  doubt- 
less of  ancient  origin. 

According  to  Miss  Mary  Kingsley,'  marriage  among 

'   "  Travels   in   West   Africa,"   by  Mary  H.   Kingslcy,    London, 
1897. 


io8  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

the  Igalwa  and  M'pongwe  people  is  not  brought  about 
by  direct  purchase,  but  a  certain  present,  of  fixed 
amount,  is  made  to  the  mother  and  uncle  of  the  girl. 
In  case  there  is  a  divorce,  which  is  frequently  the  case, 
these  presents  must  be  returned. 

Miss  Kingsley  also  speaks  of  matrimonial  quarrels. 
"  The  Igalwa  ladies,"  she  says,  "  are  spirited  and 
devoted  to  personal  adornment,  and  they  are  naggers 
at  their  husbands.  Many  times,  when  walking  on 
Lembarene  Island,  have  I  seen  a  lady  stand  in  the 
street  and  let  her  husband,  who  had  taken  shelter  inside 
the  house,  know  what  she  thought  of  him  in  a  way  that 
reminded  me  of  some  London  slum  scenes.  When  the 
husband  loses  his  temper,  as  he  surely  does  sooner  or 
later,  being  a  man,  he  whacks  his  wife,  or  wives,  if  they 
have  been  at  him  in  a  body.  This  crisis  usually  takes 
place  at  night  ;  and  when  staying  on  board  the  More^ 
or  Eclair eur^  moored  alongside  the  landing-place  at 
Lembarene  Island,  I  have  heard  yells  and  squalls  of  a 
most  dismal  character.  He  may  whack  with  impunity 
so  long  as  he  does  not  draw  blood  ;  if  he  does,  be  it 
never  so  little,  his  wife  is  off"  to  her  relations,  the  pre- 
sent he  has  given  for  her  is  returned,  the  marriage  is 
annulled,  and  she  can  re-marry  as  soon  as  she  is  able 
to."  But  the  parents  retain  certain  propitiatory  offer- 
ings, which  are  given  by  the  husband  independently  of 
the  other  presents,  and  they  are  often  glad  to  receive 
their  daughter  back  again  on  account  of  the  prospect  of 
more  presents  from  the  next  suitor,  supposing  that  she 
is  still  young. 


MOBANA  109 

Older  women,  who  appear  to  be  more  prudent,  or 
else  possess  greater  self-restraint,  are  not  so  much  given 
to  nagging,  and  usually  they  have  children  to  support 
them.  The  fate  of  a  childless  woman  in  Africa  is  a 
very  sad  one.  The  custom  of  infant  marriage  appears 
to  have  been  recently  introduced  among  the  Igalwa, 
who,  according  to  Miss  Kingsley,  have  a  curious  story 
accounting  for  it.  They  say  that  in  the  last  generation 
a  certain  man,  who  is  still  remembered  by  some  of 
the  old  people,  was  so  ugly  and  deformed  that  he  failed 
to  get  a  wife,  the  women  being  great  admirers  of 
physical  beauty  and  strength.  The  man  was  very 
cunning,  and  hit  upon  an  original  plan  to  attain  his 
object,  and  this  was  to  become  betrothed  to  one  before 
she  could  exercise  her  choice  in  the  matter.  And  so, 
knowing  a  family  where  a  birth  was  expected  to  take 
place,  he  made  large  presents  in  order  to  secure  for 
himself  the  coming  infant  if  it  should  be  a  girl.  A  girl 
it  proved  to  be,  and  thus,  they  say,  the  custom  of 
infant  marriage  arose  among  the  Igalwa,  although  they 
do  not  themselves  make  their  arrangements  quite  so 
early  as  this  man  did. 

M.  Paul  B.  du  Chaillu  assisted  at  the  departure  from 
home  of  a  young  woman  at  Mobana,  in  Western 
Equatorial  Africa.  She  had  been  given  in  marriage  to 
a  man  in  a  neighbouring  village.  Her  father  was  about 
to  take  her  there  with  all  the  marriage  outfit,  which 
was  carried  by  several  members  of  her  family.  It  con- 
sisted of  eight  of  the  ordinary  plates  of  the  country, 


no  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

two  large  baskets  for  carrying  plantains  from  the  plan- 
tations, a  number  of  calabashes  (gourds),  a  large  pack- 
age of  ground-nuts,  a  package  of  pumpkin  seeds,  two 
dried  legs  of  antelope,  her  stool,  and  a  few  more  items. 
The  bride  was  gaily  dressed,  and  her  chignon  had  been 
elaborately  prepared  on  the  previous  day.  As  she  left 
the  village  people  remarked  to  each  other,  "  Her  hus- 
band will  see  that  the  Mobana  people  do  not  send  away 
their  daughters  with  nothing  !  "  The  aged  mother, 
who  went  as  far  as  the  end  of  the  street,  took  a  great 
pride  in  sending  her  daughter  away  with  such  an 
outfit  !  I 

The  people  who  inhabit  the  island  of  Fernando  Po 
(Bube  tribe),  immigrants  from  the  opposite  coast  of 
Biafra  in  West  Equatorial  Africa,  wear  hardly  any 
clothing,  but  on  certain  great  occasions  rub  themselves 
with  tola  paste,  i.e.^  palm  oil  mixed  with  the  leaves  of  a 
herb  called  tola.  It  has  a  powerful  odour.  The  men 
generally  cover  their  heads  with  large  flat  hats  of 
wickerwork,  covered  with  monkey  skin,  chiefly  as  a 
protection  against  tree-snakes.  Yellow  ochre  adorns 
their  hair.  Some  years  ago  an  Englishman  residing  in 
the  island  (Dr.  Hutchinson)  witnessed  the  wedding  of 
the  King's  daughter.  Great  preparations  went  on  in 
his  Majesty's  kitchen.  The  happy  bridegroom  was 
seen  standing  outside  the  hut  of  the  bride's  mother  and 
undergoing  his  toilet  at  the  hands  of  his  future  wife's 

'  "  A  Journey  to  Ashango  land,"  by  Paul  B.  du  Chaillu, 
London,   1867, 


FERNANDO    PO  iii 

sister.  The  current  coin  of  this  Httle  realm  consists  of 
small  pieces  of  a  certain  shell,  which  are  called  tshibbu  ; 
strings  of  these  were  fastened  round  his  body,  legs,  and 
arms.  The  lady,  who  smoked  a  short  pipe  during  the 
operation,  anointed  the  bridegroom  with  to/a  paste. 
Finally  she  pinned  on  his  hat,  made  of  plaited  bamboo, 
after  which  he  and  a  groomsman  partook  of  a  hearty 
meal  of  stewed  flesh  and  palm  oil.  Then  the  bride 
was  led  forth  by  her  own  and  the  bridegroom's  mother, 
each  holding  one  of  her  hands,  followed  by  professional 
singers  and  six  bridesmaids.  She  presented  a  strange 
appearance,  being  heavily  loaded  with  rings,  wreaths  of 
flowers,  and  a  great  deal  of  tola  paste.  But  her  toilet 
was  as  yet  far  from  complete,  so  the  women  led  her 
away  to  a  place  out  of  sight,  where  they  plastered  her 
whole  body  with  to/a  paste,  and  covered  her  face  and  head 
with  a  large  veil  of  tshi/)bu  shells.  A  head-dress  of  cow- 
hide served  for  a  hat.  For  more  than  an  hour  the 
patient  bride  stood  in  the  broiling  sun  undergoing  these 
operations,  while  the  professional  singers  were  employed 
in  celebrating  her  praises.  However,  as  the  poor 
creature  had  been  closely  confined  in  a  hut  for  the 
previous  fifteen  months,  we  may  naturally  suppose  that 
standing  in  the  sunlight  would  be  by  no  means  an 
unpleasant  change.  Bride  and  bridegroom  now  took 
up  their  positions  side  by  side  in  front  of  the  hut 
whence  the  two  mothers  had  led  out  the  bride  after 
her  long  captivity.  The  bridesmaids,  who  were  all 
of  diff^erent  ages,  stood  in  a  row,  all  wearing  parrot's 
feathers  in  their  hair. 


112  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

And  now  the  wedding  ceremony  began  ;  the  profes- 
sional singers  chanted  their  songs,  while  the  bride's 
mother  stood  behind  the  happy  pair  and  folded  an  arm 
of  each  round  the  other's  body,  and,  with  words  which 
could  not  be  heard,  pronounced  them  to  be  man  and 
wife.  Each  was  exhorted  to  be  faithful  to  the  other,  a 
pledge  which  was  confirmed  by  passing  round  a  goblet 
of  palm- wine.  Each  took  a  sip  therefrom  :  first  the 
mother  of  the  bridegroom,  then  her  son,  then  the  bride, 
and  lastly  the  bride's  mother.  After  this  there  was 
much  dancing  and  singing,  and  the  scene  became  very 
animated.  Finally  the  newly-married  pair  proceeded 
to  their  hut,  the  old  wives  walking  before  them. 
Arrived  at  the  door,  they  embraced,  presents  were 
given  to  the  bride,  the  bridegroom  placed  four  rings 
on  her  fingers,  and  after  further  exhortations  from  the 
mother-in-law  to  the  bride,  they  were  left  to  them- 
selves. 

Among  some  of  the  central  African  tribes,  the 
Banyai,  for  instance,  women  are  treated  with  great 
respect  and  deference.  They  possess  land,  and  their 
husbands  always  consult  them  in  any  important  matter 
of  business  ;  and  not  only  so,  but  they  frequently 
transact  business  on  their  own  account,  travelling  for 
that  purpose  to  distant  towns.  Here  the  girls  are  not 
bought  with  oxen  or  cows,  as  among  the  Kaffirs,  but 
the  young  man  comes  and  lives  with  his  wife's  parents, 
working  for  them  and  obeying  them  in  all  things.  He 
must  be  a  hewer  of  wood  and  a  drawer  of  water,  and 


MASAI   LAND  113 

if  he  gets  tired  of  the  service  is  free  to  leave  the  house, 
but  the  wife  and  children  remain. 

Among  the  people  of  Masai  Land  marriages  take 
place  at  the  calving  season,  since  an  abundance  of  milk 
is  considered  desirable.  As  soon  as  preliminaries  have 
been  arranged,  the  girl  allows  her  hair  to  grow  longer 
than  usual,  and  places  round  her  head  a  band  of  cow- 
ries, from  which  hang  a  number  of  strings  forming  a 
kind  of  bridal'  veil,  somewhat  like  that  of  a  Chinese 
bride,  except  that  in  the  latter  case  the  strings  hold 
beads.  When  the  wedding-day  arrives  both  the  bride 
and  bridegroom  dispose'  of  their  chain  earrings,  sub- 
stituting for  them  double  discs  of  copper  wire  arranged 
in  a  spiral  fashion.  The  lady  also  changes  her  costume, 
replacing  her  suit  of  clothes  all  of  one  colour  by  two 
skins,  one  of  which  hangs  from  her  shoulder,  the  other 
from  the  waist.  Probably  these  warlike  people  are 
somewhat  averse  to  their  young  men  getting  married, 
fearing  lest  they  should  thereby  become  effeminate 
(compare  the  Spartan  custom  referred  to  on  p.  132), 
for  they  have  a  rule  whereby  the  bridegroom  is  com- 
pelled for  a  whole  month  to  wear  the  cast-off  garments 
of  the  bride  !  This  looks  as  if  their  object  were  to 
discourage  matrimony.  The  author  heard  recently  of 
another  African  tribe  (at  Lagos)  who  always  shut  up 
a  bride  and  bridegroom  together  in  a  hut  for  a  whole 
month,  with  the  idea  that  the  young  man  may  by  that 
time  have  repented  of  his  folly  ' 


114  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

The  people  of  Uganda  ^  are  divided  into  clans,  each 
distinguished  by  its  crest,  or  totem^  the  figure  of  some 
animal  which  is  sacred  to  the  members  of  the  family, 
and  may  not  be  eaten  by  them.  Two  persons  of  the  same 
clan  may  not  marry  (compare  China,  p.  48).  Marriage 
is  simply  a  matter  of  bargain.  As  soon  as  the  young 
man  has  paid  the  price  of  his  bride  to  her  father  he  is 
at  liberty  to  take  her  to  his  hut.  But  the  rich  and 
powerful  do  not  pay  anything.  Peasants  are  only  too 
glad  to  give  their  daughters  in  marriage  to  the  chief, 
who  can  take  them  by  force  if  he  wills.  For  ordinary 
people  the  usual  way  of  proceeding  is  to  buy  a  slave 
girl,  who  becomes  the  absolute  property  of  her  master. 
Such  wives  give  less  trouble,  for  they  cannot  return 
to  their  own  people  if  harshly  treated. 

The  late   Mr.  Joseph  Thomson,  who  led  a  famous 

expedition  across  Africa,  describes  a  curious  domestic 

quarrel    illustrative     of    the     thoughts,    manners,    and 

customs  of   the   people   in   the   region  of    the   Central 

African   Lakes.     He   had  officiated,  at   a   place   called 

Kwa-Muinyi   Mtwanna,   at   the   wedding  of  a   certai-iy 

porter  and  a  freed  woman.     For  three  days  all  weni 

well,  and    the    young  wife  was  well  treated,   but   this 

happy  state  of  things  soon  ended.     One  morning  Mr. 

Thomson    was    aroused    early    by    screams    proceeding 

from   the   hut  where  these    two  had    put    up,   and   on 

'  The  real  name  of  this  part  of  Africa  is  Buganda,  which 
becomes  Uganda  on  the  coast.  Muganda  means  a  native  of  the 
country,  of  which  the  plural  is  Baganda  ;  so  we  ought  to  speak  of 
these  people  as  Baganda. 


•t  <^ 


4 


CENTRAL   AFRICAN   LAKES  115 

inquiry  was  informed  that  Mrs.  Kombo  had  dreamed 
during  the  night  of  her  late  husband,  which  of  course 
she  interpreted  as  a  sign  that  his  spirit  was  much 
troubled  !  After  imparting  the  sad  tidings  to  her 
present  husband  she  implored  him  to  use  his  best 
endeavours  to  give  peace  to  the  soul  of  his  predecessor 
by  making  a  great  feast  and  sacrificing  sheep  and  fowls. 
"  Thereupon,"  in  Mr.  Thomson's  words,  "  Mr.  Kombo 
replied  that  '  if  it  had  been  her  father,  or  her  mother, 
or  any  of  her  relations,  he  would  have  cheerfully 
complied  with  her  request  that  their  souls  might  be 
comfortable  ;  but  to  do  so  for  her  late  husband — he 
would  be  hanged  first  !  and  the  defunct  spouse  would 
remain  long  in  purgatory  before  he  would  stir  a  finger 
to  release  him  '  "  i  At  this  the  wife,  not  unnaturally, 
lost  her  temper,  and  became  insulting.  This  being 
more  than  Kombo  could  endure,  he  forthwith  pro- 
ceeded to  beat  his  wife  so  violently  that  the  whole 
camp  was  aroused  by  her  shrieks.  Mr.  Thomson, 
however,  did  not  feel  disposed  to  interfere  in  such 
a  purely  domestic  concern. 

According  to  Sir  Harry  H.  Johnston, 2  British 
Commissioner  for  Central  Africa,  "  marriage  by  cap- 
ture "  prevails  among  the  Awa-nkonde,  at  the  north 
end  of  Lake  Nyassa.  In  fact  this  custom  affords  one 
of   the   chief   inducements    for  indulging   in   war    and 

'  "To  the  Central  African  Lakes  and  Back,"  by  Joseph  Thomson. 
London,  1881. 

2  "British  Central  Africa,"  by  Sir  Harry  H.  Johnston,  K.C.B., 
Commissioner  for  British  Central  Africa.     London,  1897. 


ii6  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

slave-raiding.  When  the  British  authorities  first  began 
to  wage  war  against  the  slave  traders  there,  and  were 
in  want  of  native  troops  for  the  purpose,  thousands 
came  forward  to  volunteer  for  service  on  the  under- 
standing that  they  should  be  permitted  to  carry  off 
the  enemy's  women  !  Needless  to  say  the  men  could 
not  be  accepted  on  those  terms  ;  but  the  porters, 
though  unarmed,  gave  a  good  deal  of  trouble  on  the 
march  by  helping  themselves  to  wives.  The  women, 
as  a  rule,  made  very  little  resistance  ;  perhaps  they 
rather  like  a  change.  Such  scenes  have  their  comic 
aspect  too.  "It  is  almost  like  playing  a  game,"  says 
our  Commissioner.  The  man  waits  his  opportunity, 
and  takes  the  woman  by  surprise  on  her  way  to  the 
stream  to  get  water,  or  as  she  passes  by  from  the 
plantation  where  she  works.  It  is  only  necessary  for 
the  man  to  show  that  he  is  determined  or  that  there  is 
no  way  of  escape,  and  the  woman  submits  to  what,  no 
doubt,  to  her  mind  appears  to  be  "  Fate."  However, 
if  the  new  partner  treats  her  badly,  she  can  generally 
find  some  means  of  escaping  to  her  first  husband — we 
cannot  say  "  first  love,"  for  the  people  do  not  marry 
for  sentimental  reasons.  But,  as  a  rule,  the  women 
cheerfully  accept  these  sudden  changes.  Perhaps  they 
add  a  variety  which  otherwise  might  be  wanting  in 
their   matrimonial  experience. 


CHAPTER    VIII 

South  Africa 

YVTHATEVER  virtues  may  be  ascribed  to  the  dark 
races  of  Africa,  it  cannot  be  said  that  they 
possess  a  sense  of  chivalry  to  women  ;  the  gentler  sex 
seem  to  do  all  the  hard  work.  An  Englishman  once 
looked  into  the  hut  of  a  Kaffir  and  saw  a  stalwart  man 
sitting  there  smoking  his  pipe,  while  the  women  were 
hard  at  work  in  the  broiling  sun,  building  huts, 
carrying  timber,  or  performing  other  equally  severe 
tasks.  The  Englishman,  feeling  indignant,  as  he 
naturally  would,  told  the  Kaffir  to  get  up  and  set 
to  work  like  a  man.  Now  the  Kaffir  is  naturally  very 
polite,  and  as  a  rule  carefully  avoids  saying  anything 
which  might  appear  rude  to  a  stranger,  but  this  indi- 
vidual was  so  amused  at  the  suggestion  that  he  replied 
with  a  laugh,  "  Women  work,  men  sit  in  the  house  and 
smoke  !  "  But,  if  the  men  are  hard  on  the  women, 
the  latter  are  often  hard  on  each  other.  For  example, 
a  favourite  young  wife  is  liable  to  be  badly  treated  by 
the  others,  especially  if  she  be  good-looking.  Their 
jealousy  prompts  them  to  beat  her  and  scratch  her  face 
in  order    to  diminish   her   charms.     They  know    they 


ii8  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

will  receive  a  beating  at  the  hands  of  their  husband 
when  he  finds  out,  but  revenge  is  sweet,  and  so  the 
wives  take  their  punishment  quietly  and  with  a  good 
grace,  having  had  their  way  with  the  obnoxious 
rival. 

With  the  Kaffirs,  among  whom  we  must  include  the 
Zulus,  a  wife  is  bought,  but  this  implies  no  degradation. 
It  is  the  way  with  most  Eastern  nations.      The  bigger 
the    price,   the    more   she   is   pleased,   for   her   husband 
evidently  valued  her  highly.     A  marriage  is  not  valid 
unless  the  bride  is  purchased   from   her   parents.     On 
inquiring  into  the  state  of  the  matrimonial  market  we 
shall   find  when  it  is  "  firm,"  as  city  people  say,  that  a 
man  must  pay  as  much  as  twelve  or  fifteen  cows  for  a 
wife,    while   in    some    particular    case    the    father    may 
demand    no    less    than    fifty    cows.     If,  on    the    other 
hand,  wives  are  "down,"  a  girl   may  go  for  only  ten 
cows.       A    purchaser    naturally    wishes    to    get    good 
"  value  "  for  his  money,  and  in  this  case  the  "  value  " 
depends,   first,  on  the   young  woman's  personal  quali- 
fications, good  looks,  &c.,  and,  secondly,  on  the  rank 
held  by  her  father.      Part  of  the  purchase  money  must 
be    paid    at   once,  as  a  guarantee  of  good  faith  ;    but 
if  the   bridegroom  be  not  too  well  off",  he   may  give  a 
guarantee  to  pay  the  rest  as  time  goes  on.      It  is  clear, 
then,  that    an    impecunious    man    runs    a    considerable 
chance  of  remaining  a  bachelor,  at  least  for  some  time. 
The  word  impecunious  in  this  case  is  especially  appro- 
priate,   for,    as    every    schoolboy    knows,    the     ancient 
Romans  measured  their  wealth  by  cattle,  as  Kaffirs  do 


SOUTH    AFRICA  119 

now,  and  hence  their  word  for  money  was  pecus,  from 
which  the  Enghsh  word  impecunious  is  derived.  These 
preliminary  matters  having  been  settled,  the  young 
man  must  put  in  an  appearance,  in  order  to  give  his 
wife  an  opportunity  of  seeing  him.  In  justice  to  the 
Kaffirs  we  ought  to  say  that,  although  the  bride  is 
bought,  yet  she  has  a  certain  amount  of  liberty  in 
choosing  a  husband.  At  all  events,  she  has  the  power 
of  veto,  and  that  means  a  good  deal.  On  this  subject 
we  will  quote  from  Mr.  Shooter,  who  has  written  on 
Kaffirland.  He  says,  "  When  a  husband  has  been 
selected  for  a  girl,  she  may  be  delivered  to  him  without 
any  previous  notice.  But  usually  she  is  informed  of 
her  parents'  intention  a  month,  or  sometimes  longer, 
beforehand,  in  order,  I  imagine,  that  she  may,  if 
possible,  be  persuaded  to  think  favourably  of  the  man. 
Barbarians  as  they  are,  the  Kaffirs  are  aware  that  it  is 
better  to  reason  with  a  woman  than  to  beat  her,  and 
I  am  inclined  to  think  that  moral  means  are  usually 
employed  to  induce  a  girl  to  adopt  her  parents'  choice 
before  physical  arguments  are  resorted  to.  Sometimes 
very  elaborate  efforts  are  made  to  produce  this  result. 
The  first  step  is  to  speak  well  of  the  man  in  her 
presence ;  the  kraal  conspire  to  praise  him — all  the 
admirers  of  his  cattle  praise  him — he  never  was  so 
praised  before.  Unless  she  is  very  resolute  the  girl 
may  now  perhaps  be  prevailed  on  to  see  him,  and 
a  messenger  is  dispatched  to  communicate  the  hopeful 
fact  and  summon  him  to  the  kraal.  Without  loss  of 
time  he  prepares  to  show  himself  to  the  best  advantage  ; 


120  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

he  goes  down  to  the  river  and,  having  carefully  washed 
his  dark  person,  comes  up  again  dripping  and  shining 
like  a  dusky  Triton  ;   but  the  sun  soon  dries  his  skin, 
atui    now    he   shines   again  with  grease.      His   dancing 
attire  is  put  on,  a  vessel  of  water  serving  for  a  mirror, 
and   then,  clothed  in    his  best,  and  carrying  shield  and 
assegai,  he  sets  forth  with  beating  heart  and  gallant  step 
to  do  battle  with  the  scornful  belle.     Having  reached 
the   kraal,  he   is   received   with   a   hearty  welcome,  and, 
squatting    down    in    the   family   circle    (which    is    here 
something   more   than   a  figure  of  speech),   he   awaits 
the  lady's  appearance.    Presently  she  comes,  and,  sitting 
near  the  door,  stares  at   him  in  silence.     Then,  having 
surveyed  him   sufficiently   in    his   present  attitude,   she 
desires    him,   through    her    brother  (for    she    will    not 
speak   to   him),   to  stand    up   and  exhibit    his   propor- 
tions.      The    modest    man    is    embarrassed  ;    but    the 
mother   encourages   him,    and,    while    the    young   ones 
laugh  and  jeer,  he  rises  before  the  damsel.     She  now 
scrutinises  him  in  this   position,  and,  having  balanced 
the    merits    and   defects   of   a   front   view,  desires   him 
(through   the  same    medium)    to  turn  and  favour    her 
with  a  different  aspect."     After  this  "  mutual  seeing," 
to  use  the  Japanese  expression,  the  girl  retires,  pursued 
by   her    family,   who    are    greatly   excited,  wishing    to 
know  her  decision.     But  she  is  not  going  to  be  bought 
too    easily.      The     suitor    must    "call    again"    in    the 
morning    and   show   off    his    paces   in    the   cattle-fold. 
His    friends   on    that    occasion    praise    him    up    to    the 
skies,    and,    in    the    end,    the    girl    usually   gives    her 


SOUTH    AFRICA  121 

consent.  Arrangements  are  then  made  for  the  be- 
trothal. Perhaps  in  the  majority  of  cases  the  girl 
accepts  the  suitor  from  fear  of  her  parents,  who  may 
use  both  moral  and  physical  arguments  on  behalf  of 
the  man  ;  but  there  are  evidently  exceptions,  and  it 
is  not  every  Kaffir  who  can  win  the  fair  one.  The 
suitor  may  have  plenty  of  wealth  in  the  form  of  cows 
[pecunia),  and  yet  she  may  refuse  him.  If  a  youth,  in 
spite  of  all  his  wealth  and  ornaments,  is  faint-hearted 
and  fears  rejection,  he  buys  a  "  charm  "  from  some 
witch-doctor.  If  still  she  dislikes  him,  the  maiden 
may  seek  refuge  with  another  tribe,  just  as  Arab  girls 
flee  to  the  mountains  (p.  74).  Great  then  is  the 
excitement,  all  her  relations  setting  out  to  try  and 
discover  her  whereabouts. 

Kaffir  young  women  are  not  so  submissive  as  their 
sisters  in  China  or  Japan,  and  sometimes  make  a  brave 
fight  for  freedom,  as  the  following  story  will  show.  A 
young  Kaffir  chief  won  the  heart  of  a  certain  girl  by  his 
dancing.  The  two  were  total  strangers  to  each  other, 
but  that  was  no  obstacle  to  her,  so  she  went  to  his  kraal 
and  threw  herself  at  his  feet.  Unfortunately,  the  chief 
did  not  return  her  affection  ;  therefore  the  only  course 
open  to  him  was  to  send  for  her  brother  to  "  take  her 
away,"  which  he  did.  Before  long,  however,  she 
appeared  again,  which  breach  of  Kaffir  etiquette  met 
with  a  severe  beating,  but  to  no  purpose  ;  a  third  time 
she  presented  herself,  and  then,  at  last,  her  brother 
suggested  that  it  might  save  a  good  deal  of  trouble  if 
the  fascinating  chief  would  be  so  obliging  as  to  marry 


122  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

her,    which    he    accordingly    did,    the    brother    having 
offered  to  pay  a  certain  number  of  cows. 

On  the  wedding-day,  a  Kaffir  bride,  arrayed  in  beads 
and  other  finery,  is  led  in  procession  to  the  bridegroom's 
kraal.  Before  starting,  her  head  is  shaved  with  an 
assegai,  all  except  a  little  tuft  at  the  top.  Oxen  are 
given  to  the  bride's  mother,  for  the  feast,  and  others  to 
her  father.  There  is  much  dancing  on  these  occasions, 
and  very  violent  dancing  it  is,  such  as  barbarous  people 
indulge  in.  Bride  and  bridegroom  also  dance  to  each 
other  in  turn.  Some  sing  to  the  dancers,  while  others 
are  either  criticising  or  praising  the  bride,  and  this  is 
done  with  very  great  freedom  (which  reminds  us  of 
what  takes  place  in  China.  See  p.  44).  The  husband's 
women  friends  and  relations  do  not  hesitate  to  tell 
the  poor  bride  that  she  is  not  nearly  worth  the 
price  he  paid  for  her,  while  her  own  women  cannot 
sufficiently  express  their  admiration  of  her.  To  them 
she  appears  to  be  the  belle  of  the  whole  tribe,  and  her 
husband  ought  to  be  very  proud  of  her,  and  she  was 
worth  many  more  oxen  than  he  gave.  But  all  this  is 
only  "words,  words,  words,"  as  Hamlet  says,  and 
means  practically  nothing  ;  custom  demands  these 
formalities.  Then  comes  an  address  by  the  father  of 
the  girl,  who  gives  the  bridegroom  a  great  deal  of 
good  advice.  If  this  is  his  first  wife,  he  is  told  not  to 
beat  her  too  often,  for  wives  can  be  ruled  without 
violence,  a  doctrine  which  suggests  the  well-known 
saying  of  the  late  John  Bright  that  "  force  is  no 
remedy."     When  the   bride  dances   before   the   bride- 


SOUTH    AFRICA  123 

groom,  she  calls  him  names,  and  kicks  dust  in  his  face, 
just  to  let  him  know  that  he  is  not  master  yet.  But  it 
is  her  last  and  only  opportunity  of  taking  liberties  with 
him,  and  so  she  delights  in  this  open  defiance.  The 
ceremony  is  called  "  insulting  the  bridegroom." 

Then  "  the  ox  of  the  girl  "  is  presented  by  the  bride- 
groom. The  slaughter  of  this  ox  is  an  important 
ceremony,  for  it  makes  the  contract  binding.  When 
the  feasting  is  all  over,  the  pair  settle  down  to  married 
life.  A  few  days  afterwards  the  bride's  father  sends 
round  an  ox,  just  by  way  of  showing  that  he  is  satisfied 
with  the  alliance,  and  as  a  sort  of  pledge  that  when, 
after  death,  he  joins  the  spirit-world,  his  ghost  will  not. 
haunt  his  daughter's  home,  nor  cause  any  evil  to  happen 
to  it  ;  these  simple  people  attribute  all  evils  to  the 
influence  of  bad  or  unhappy  spirits. 

Such  practices  as  we  have  described  appear  to  be 
common  to  the  whole  Zulu  tribe,  but  on  account  of  the 
influence  of  white  men,  are  fast  dying  out,  so  that  at 
the  present  day  there  is  often  very  little  ceremony  at  a 
wedding. 

Like  many  other  races,  Kaffirs  object  to  the  presence 
of  white  men  at  their  marriages,  and  are  very  reluctant 
to  give  information  on  the  subject,  hence  there  is  some 
difficulty  in  getting  true  accounts  of  their  proceedings. 

These  people  have  a  very  curious  custom  with  regard 
to  that  most  important  person,  the  mother-in-law. 
After  marriage  the  husband,  if  he  wishes  to  converse 
with  the  mother  of  his  wife,  must  do  so  at  a  considerable 
distance,  and  is  obliged  therefore  to  shout.      He  must 


124  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

not  come  near  to  her,  or  look  upon  her  face.  Should 
they  be  so  unlucky  as  to  meet,  they  pretend  not  to  see 
each  other.  The  woman  generally  takes  advantage  of 
any  convenient  shelter,  such  as  a  bush,  while  the  man 
looks  the  other  way,  using  his  shield  as  a  screen.  More- 
over neither  is  allowed  to  mention  the  name  of  the  other, 
which  is  often  rather  awkward.  In  that  part  of  the 
world  names  of  people  are  often  those  of  some  familiar 
object,  such  as  lion,  or  house,  or  some  common  imple- 
ment, and  so  there  are  times  when  much  circumlocution 
is  used  to  avoid  mentioning  the  name  which  is  "  taboo  " 
to  the  husband. 

The  Kaffirs  of  Delagoa  Bay  have  some  peculiar 
customs  of  their  own.  The  marriage  ceremony  takes 
place  in  the  bride's  kraal  ;  here,  on  the  appointed  day, 
great  preparations  are  made  for  the  feast,  towards  which 
the  bridegroom  must  contribute  a  black  goat  and  the 
bride  a  white  cock.  Refreshments  having  been  served, 
the  bride  is  escorted  by  her  maidens  to  a  hut  where  they 
dress  her  up  as  gaily  as  possible  for  the  occasion.  The 
bridegroom  also  retires  in  order  to  attire  himself  in  his 
best.  During  their  absence  a  curious  scene  takes  place, 
such  as  we  have  already  described  on  p.  122.  The 
bride's  relations  disparage  the  bridegroom  as  much  as 
they  can,  while  the  other  family  make  nasty  and  unkind 
remarks  about  the  bride.  She  is  not  worth  the  money 
they  paid  for  her.  She  is  lazy,  or  not  well-born,  and  so 
forth.  However,  there  is  a  truce  to  these  pretended 
quarrels  when  the  bride  comes  forth  from  her  kraal, 
covered  with  a  long  garment,   reaching   from  head  to 


BASUTOS  125 

foot.  Her  companions  surround  her  so  closely  as  to 
hide  her  from  public  view  ;  in  this  fashion  they 
move  along  very  slowly,  singing  and  chanting  all  the 
way.  The  bride,  on  arriving  at  her  own  kraal,  still 
closely  veiled,  sits  down  and  begins  to  manifest  great 
grief  by  crying.  Then  her  future  husband  leaves  his 
hut,  and  having  entered  the  kraal,  sits  down  somewhere 
near  her,  but  not  so  that  they  can  see  each  other.  It  is 
customary  to  separate  the  men  and  women  ;  so  the  girls 
take  up  their  position  by  the  side  of  the  bride,  and  the 
men  by  the  side  of  the  bridegroom.  When  all  are 
seated  the  black  goat  is  led  in,  walking  on  his  hind  legs, 
and  is  slain  by  the  master  of  the  ceremonies,  who 
plunges  his  assegai  right  into  the  victim's  heart.  With 
the  same  weapon  he  then  beheads  the  white  cock.  The 
entrails  of  both  creatures  are  immediately  examined,  in 
order  to  ascertain  whether  the  fates  are  propitious,  and 
little  portions  of  the  flesh  are  handed  to  both  the  bride 
and  bridegroom,  who  are  expected  at  least  to  taste  them 
before  they  are  cooked  for  the  feast. 

Much  rum  and  native  beer  are  consumed  on  these 
occasions.  For  two  or  three  days,  or  more,  according 
to  the  wealth  of  the  bride's  family,  the  feasting  and 
jollity  is  kept  up,  with  much  singing  and  dancing, 

Basuto  betrothal  and  marriage  customs  are  curious. 
If  a  man  take  a  fancy  to  some  native  girl,  he  must 
not  say  a  word  to  her  on  the  subject  of  matrimony. 
Having  found  some  old  woman  (or,  it  may  be  his 
mother),  he  confides  to  her  his  wishes  to  settle  down 


126  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

and  marry,  and  requests  her  to  make  all  the  arrange- 
ments. Accordingly  his  mother,  or  friend,  arranges 
for  an  appointment  with  the  mother  or  guardian  ot 
the  girl,  and  the  two  ladies  talk  it  over  and  discuss 
the  important  question  or  ways  and  means.  Should 
no  objections  arise,  everything  is  arranged  between 
these  two.  Infant  betrothal  is  common,  especially  in 
the  higher  ranks.  The  father  of  the  prospective 
bridegroom  sends  an  ox  as  a  present  to  the  father  or 
the  girl-child,  and  the  family  hold  a  feast.  The  child 
receives  the  skin  of  this  ox  as  her  marriage  portion, 
and  she  keeps  it  for  her  use  in  after  life.  Her  uncle 
provides  a  blanket,  and  sometimes  a  very  handsome 
one.  When  the  girl  is  old  enough  and  her  relations 
think  that  the  right  time  has  come  to  celebrate  the 
marriage,  they  send  a  message  to  her  betrothed  to  say 
that  he  has  their  leave  to  come  and  pay  her  a  visit. 
The  family  receive  him  with  every  mark  of  attention, 
and  all  sit  down  (except  the  young  ones)  in  a  circle. 
At  first  silence  reigns,  and  the  betrothed  couple  only 
exchange  glances.  After  some  time  the  man  stands  up 
and  says,  "  All  hail "  {Eh  !  dumela),  which  is  the 
Basuto  form  or  respectful  salutation  to  the  girl.  She 
responds  in  the  same  terms,  and  he  then  takes  his 
departure,  to  return  in  about  a  fortnight.  On  re- 
turning, he  comes  to  her  father's  kraal  and  looks 
to  see  whether  the  skin  of  the  ox  presented  by  his 
father  is  displayed  or  not.  If  it  is  spread  out  he 
claims  her  as  his  wife  without  further  ceremony.  A 
great  feast  is  held  before  the  wedding.      After  marriage 


ZAMBESI   RIVER  127 

every  ox  killed  for  feasting  by  the  bride  and  bride- 
groom belongs  partly  to  the  bride's  father,  who  also 
keeps  some  of  the  cattle  wherewith  his  daughter  was 
purchased.  This  custom  never  alters  among  the 
Basutos,  even  after  they  become  Christians  the  chiefs 
still  compelling  the  young  men  to  pay  cattle  for  their 
wives.  A  mother  will  say,  "  It  is  the  very  least  a 
man  can  do  to  recompense  me  a  little  for  all  the 
troubles,  fatigue,  and  anxiety  which  I  have  gone 
through  in  bringing  up  his  wife  for  him.  It  makes 
no  difference  in  that  respect  to  what  religion  she 
belongs,  the  trouble  is  the  same."  There  is  much 
rejoicing  when  a  girl  is  born  (which  is  quite  the  reverse 
of  Chinese,  Indian  or  Arab  ideas)  ;  but  the  reason 
is  purely  a  mercenary  one,  for  girls,  when  grown  up, 
will  always  command  so  many  head  of  cattle. 

Civilisation  has  had  hardly  any  effect  on  those 
very  primitive  people,  the  Bushmen.  There  lingers 
among  them  a  very  ancient  custom,  which  probably 
was  once  wide-spread,  namely,  that  a  man  may  not 
for  a  long  time  look  his  bride  in  the  face,  but 
must  visit  her  after  dark  (see  p.  132).  He  can 
divorce  a  wife  at  his  pleasure  ;  and  should  she  take 
a  fancy  to  some  other  man,  he  can  challenge  her 
husband  to  battle.  The  woman  meekly  follows  the 
conqueror. 

Dr.   Emil   Holub,^  writing   in   an   illustrated  paper, 

"Africa  Illustrated."      New  York,  January,  1896,  No.  85. 


128  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

which  was  kindly  sent  to  the  present  writer  (in 
answer  to  inquiries)  by  Mr.  H.  M.  Stanley,  gives 
an  account  of  the  very  cruel  manner  in  which  a 
priiicess,  by  name  Mo-Rena  Mo-Qiiai,  forced  a  slave- 
girl  to  marry  a  certain  man  much  against  her  own 
will.  Dr.  Holub  had  just  arrived  at  a  place  called  New 
Shesheke,  About  nine  o'clock  in  the  evening,  having 
retired  to  rest  earlier  than  usual,  he  heard  a  tumult, 
the  sounds  appearing  to  proceed  from  a  lagoon  about 
thirty  paces  distant.  Narri,  the  servant,  who  had 
been  sent  to  ascertain  the  cause  of  the  disturbance, 
suddenly  reappeared,  almost  out  of  breath  after  a  sharp 
run,  with  the  startling  intelligence  that  the  princess, 
who  was  really  Queen  of  Ma-Bunda,  had  ordered 
her  servant  to  be  nearly  drowned  because,  poor  thing, 
she  had  been  so  bold  as  to  refuse  to  take  an  ugly  old 
slave  for  a  husband  in  spite  of  the  princess'  command  ! 
The  girl's  wishes,  of  course,  were  not  consulted  ;  all 
she  was  expected  to  do,  being  only  a  slave,  was  to  obey. 
When  first  the  princess  communicated  her  order, 
the  slave  crossed  her  hands  over  her  breast  in  token 
of  obedience,  but  burst  into  a  violent  fit  of  tears,  on 
account  of  which  she  was  immediately  dismissed. 
The  same  day  the  princess  summoned  the  girl  to  her 
presence  again  and  repeated  her  command  in  a  peremp- 
tory manner,  when,  to  her  astonishment,  the  slave 
firmly  declined  to  do  as  she  was  told  !  This  was 
more  than  her  haughty  royal  highness  could  endure, 
and  orders  were  given  for  the  disobedient  slave-girl 
to  be  held   under  water   until   nearly  dead,  then  drawn 


ZAMBESI   RIVER  129 

out  and  brought  to  the  hut  of  her  future  husband, 
where,  on  her  recovery,  she  would  be  compelled  to  make 
the  best  of  it  and  remain  with  the  man  who  was  royally 
elected  to  be  her  husband  !  Impelled  by  a  natural 
desire  to  prevent  this  catastrophe  if  possible,  Dr. 
Holub  hastened  at  once  to  the  lagoon.  On  the  high 
bank  of  the  river  he  found  a  frantic  crowd,  all 
gesticulating,  some  in  low  tones,  others  with  loud  and 
angry  exclamations.  But  a  little  lower  down  was 
another  group  ;  descending  as  quickly  as  the  darkness 
and  the  nature  of  the  ground  would  permit,  he  saw 
a  weird  sight.  Several  men  and  women  were  standing 
on  the  edge  of  the  calmly  flowing  stream,  while  between 
them  crouched  a  weeping  girl.  Two  figures  were 
bending  over  an  object  which  they  seemed  to  be 
holding  between  them.  As  soon  as  the  would-be 
rescuer  stepped  into  the  water  the  two  persons  in  the 
water  arose  and  approached  the  bank,  dragging  some 
object  between  them.  It  was  the  motionless  and 
insensible  body  of  the  slave-girl,  whether  alive  or 
dead  it  was  hard  to  say.  The  men  went  ofi^  with  their 
burden  in  the  direction  of  the  princess'  house,  the 
gallant  American  following.  Then  they  placed  the 
body  down  near  one  of  the  huts.  One  of  the  men 
remained  by  the  side  of  it,  and  also  the  weeping  girl, 
sister  to  the  one  lying  helpless  before  her.  The  man 
was  actually  the  man  selected  to  marry  this  victim  of 
royal  tyranny,  and  had  been  appointed  to  carry  out 
the  sentence,  possibly  with  the  idea  that  he  would 
naturally  endeavour  to  prevent  a  fatal  result.      Be  that 

10 


130  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

as  it  may,  the  girl  was  not  actually  drowned,  and  a 
few  hours  afterwards,  in  the  early  morning,  the  natives 
were  celebrating  her  wedding  !  The  event  was  an- 
nounced by  sounds  which  disturbed  the  slumbers  of 
Dr.  Holub.  "  The  friends  and  acquaintances,  together 
with  the  heartless  spectators,  had  gathered  before  the 
hut  of  the  half-drowned  bride  to  enjoy  the  wedding 
dance  !  Dressed  in  a  thariskin^  their  ankles  adorned 
with  shells,  they  whirled  in  a  circle,  and  were  accom- 
panied in  the  dance  by  the  beating  of  drums  and  by 
singing,  which  was  now  and  again  interrupted  by 
shouts.  This  dance  continued  two  full  days  and 
nights  without  cessation,  other  dancers  taking  the 
places  of  those  who  became  exhausted.  As  I  was 
returning  home  the  following  day  from  my  elephant 
hunt,  passing  the  huts  of  Mo-Quai's  servants,  I  saw 
the  Mosari  (the  newly-married  woman)  seated  on 
the  floor  before  the  entrance  to  her  hut  with  one  elbow 
on  her  knee,  sustaining  with  her  hand  the  weight  of 
her  head,  with  a  tired  and  broken-down  expression, 
her  gloomy  eyes  staring  into  the  grass  which  grew 
around  her  hut.  It  was  not  like  the  look  of  a  newly- 
married  wife,  but  the  appealing  glance  of  one  in 
despair." 

In  Madagascar,  where  not  a  few  Jewish  customs 
are  to  be  traced,  very  great  respect  is  shown  to  the 
old  people,  reminding  one  of  the  precept,  "  Thou 
shalt  rise  up  before  the  hoary  head,  and  honour 
the  face  of   the  old   man"   (Lev.    xix.    32).      Many  a 


MADAGASCAR  131 

passage  from  the  Malagasy  public  speeches  (the 
Kabarys),  which  have  been  committed  to  writing, 
recalls  to  mind  some  passage  in  Holy  Scripture,  e.g., 
"  I  am  young,  and  ye  are  very  old  ;  wherefore  I 
was  afraid,  and  durst  not  show  you  my  opinion " 
(Job  xxxii.  6).  Considerable  respect  is  also  shown  by 
the  young  to  their  seniors,  even  when  not  old. 
With  these  people  betrothal  is  a  formal  and  binding 
ceremony,  reminding  us  again  of  Jewish  customs. 
The  law  of  the  Levirate  also  obtains  here  :  that  is, 
a  man  on  the  death  of  his  elder  brother  is 
bound  to  marry  the  widow,  and  so  preserve  his 
name  and  the  family  possessions.  Each  tribe  and 
family  wishes  to  retain  its  property.  As  in  India 
and  elsewhere  we  find  the  custom  prevails  of  be- 
trothing children.  The  parents,  however  poor,  always 
give  a  dowry  with  their  daughter  ;  and  should 
there    be    a    divorce    this    is    returned. 

In  Madagascar  the  woman  receives  much  honour 
and  attention.  She  is  always  regarded  as  her  hus- 
band's helpmeet  ;  her  position  is  one  of  honour,  and 
her  influence  often  very  considerable. 

We  have  already  alluded  to  the  strange  custom 
of  Kaffirs  and  some  others  of  avoiding  the  mother- 
in-law  ;  and  a  few  examples,  culled  from  diverse 
countries,  of  curious  rules  of  etiquette  and  notions 
of  modesty,  very  different  from  the  ideas  of 
Europeans,  may  conveniently  be  given  here.  To 
begin   with   the  inhabitants    of   the    Aleutian   Islands  ; 


132  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

these  people,  according  to  Dall,  know  nothing  of 
what  civilised  nations  call  modesty,  and  yet  a  man 
blushes  when  he  is  obliged  to  speak  to  his  wife, 
or  to  ask  her  tor  anything,  in  the  presence  of  others. 
Etiquette  demands  that  they  shall  assume  the 
attitude  of  perfect  strangers  !  The  Hottentot  woman 
must  never  enter  her  husband's  room  in  the  hut  ; 
and  the  husband,  as  among  the  Spartans  of  old,  should 
never  be  seen  anywhere  near  his  wife.  One  can- 
not but  wonder  how  such  rules  were  ever  invented. 
Among  the  Yoruba,  an  African  tribe,  a  woman  is 
forbidden  to  speak  to  her  husband,  and  may  not  see 
him  coram  populo,  if  it  can  possibly  be  avoided.  A 
similar  notion  appears  to  have  prevailed  among  the 
early  people  who  spoke  Sanscrit,  for,  in  the  Story 
of  Urvasi  and  Puranas,  the  wife  says  to  her  lord, 
"  Never  let  me  see  thee  without  thy  royal  gar- 
ments, for  such  is  the  manner  of  women."  And 
when  by  accident  this  rule  is  broken,  the  husband 
must  softly  and  suddenly  vanish  away. 

A  Circassian  bridegroom  must  not  live  with  his 
wife  without  the  greatest  secrecy.  Fiji  Islanders 
display  the  greatest  distress  of  mind  when  adven- 
turous missionaries  suggest  that  there  is  really  no 
harm  in  a  man  living  under  the  same  roof  with  his 
wife  !  In  Fiji,  neither  brothers  and  sisters,  nor 
first  cousins  of  opposite  sex,  may  eat  together — 
much  less  speak  to  each  other.  The  young  Kaneka 
(also  of  Polynesia)  bolts  with  a  wild  scream  into  the 
bush  if  you  mention   the  name  of  his  sister  ! 


CHAPTER   IX 

Aborigines  of  North  and  South  America 

AMONG  the  Eskimo  of  Greenland  we  find  "  mar- 
riage by  capture  "  in  full  force.  Young  men  in 
this  part  of  the  world  are  not  troubled  with  romantic 
views  of  matrimony,  and  so  do  not  marry  for  love,  but 
seek  for  a  strong  and  healthy  partner  in  life  who  will 
not  shrink  from  the  severe  daily  toil  which  is  a  neces- 
sary condition  of  life  in  these  barren  and  cold  regions. 
Having  selected  some  young  woman  as  his  future  wife, 
the  youth  goes  straight  to  her  house,  or  tent,  seizes 
her  by  the  hair,  or  catches  hold  of  her  garments,  and 
drags  her  ignominiously  to  his  own  home.  Young 
men  are  sometimes  ashamed  to  do  this  for  themselves, 
and  so  employ  others  to  capture  the  young  woman  on 
their  behalf.  This,  however,  must  not  be  taken  to 
imply  that  "  proposals  "  are  never  made.  But  in  these 
cases  the  young  woman  is  invariably  expected  to  answer 
"  no,"  however  much  in  her  own  mind  she  may  be 
willing  to  become  the  man's  wife.  To  say  "  yes " 
all  at  once  and  without  a  good  deal  of  pressing 
would   be   considered,  according  to  Eskimo  standards 

of  good  taste,  to  imply  want  of  modesty  on  her  part. 

133 


134  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

On  the  east  coast  of  Greenland  the  simple  method  of 
capture  above  described  is  still  the  only  one  in  vogue. 
This  time-honoured  custom  is  so  much  respected  in 
those  parts,  that  the  bride's  relations,  so  far  from 
offering  any  resistance  to  the  rough  usage,  remain 
passive  spectators  of  the  little  comedy,  and  refuse  to 
interfere  on  her  behalf.  Greenlanders  have  a  strong 
objection  to  interfering  in  other  people's  affairs. 
After  all,  to  a  certain  extent  the  young  woman's  fate 
depends  on  herself ;  for,  should  she  entertain  a  strong 
dislike  to  her  would-be  husband,  it  is  in  her  power  to 
wear  out  his  patience  by  continued  and  violent  resist- 
ance, until  the  young  man,  thinking  he  is  becoming  an 
object  of  ridicule  to  the  spectators  of  the  scene,  finally 
renounces  all  claim  to  her  hand — we  cannot  say  her 
heart — because,  as  we  remarked  above,  Greenlanders 
do  not  marry  for  love.  L  Unfortunately  the  standard  of 
^  morals    being    very    low^  love    affairs  sometimes  take 

place  after  marriage,  and  vigilance  must  be  exercised 
by  the  husband  to  prevent  his  wife  from  running  away 
to  some  other  man  whom  she  prefers.  Graah,  who 
led  an  expedition  to  the  east  coast  in  1837,  narrates 
a  story  which  proves  how  difficult  it  is  for  others  to 
know  a  young  woman's  real  feeling  when  being  carried 
off".  An  able-bodied  young  woman  who  rowed  in  his 
boat  was  one  day  seized  by  a  Greenlander  and  carried 
to  the  mountains  in  spite  of  apparently  genuine 
struggles  on  her  part.  Graah,  not  seeing  through  the 
farce,  really  believed  that  she  had  a  strong  dislike  to 
the    man,   and    was    confirmed   in   his  opinion   by   her 


0 


^ 


GREENLAND  135 

friends.      Consequently,   like    a   gallant   man,    he   went 
to  the  rescue  and  brought  her  back.     After  a  few  days 
Graah   was  about   to  proceed   on   his  journey  and    the 
boat  had    already  been    launched,    when    suddenly   the 
bride  appeared  again   on   the   scene,    and  jumped    into 
the  boat,  as  if  seeking  refuge  with  her  deliverer  like  a 
stowaway.      Before  they  could  get  away  from  the  shore 
the    husband    appeared,    reinforced    by    his    father,   to 
enforce  his  claim.      Once  again  a  struggle  took  place, 
and  the  apparently  unwilling   wife  was  dragged   forth 
from  her  hiding-place  among  the  baggage  in  the  boat. 
Whereupon,    for    the    second    time,    the    kind-hearted 
Graah  rescued    her   from   the  husband,  recommending 
him  at  the  same  time  to  make  the  best  of  a  bad  job  and 
turn  his  attention  to   Black   Dorothy,   another   of  the 
rowing-women,  who   perhaps   might  be  more  inclined 
to  lend  a  willing  ear.     The  husband,  apparently  baffled 
and   refusing   to  wed   the  other  woman,  went  away   in 
anger  muttering  revenge.     The  father  had  not,  how- 
ever, given  up  hope,  but  cheerfully  lent  a  helping-hand 
in    loading    the    boat.      During    these    operations    the 
young  woman,  watching  her  opportunity,  contrived  to 
give  them  the  slip  ;  for  when  the  time  came  for  starting 
she  was  nowhere  to  be  found  !     Graah   and  his   party 
searched  for  her  in  every  direction  but  to  no  purpose, 
and  eventually  set  off  without  her.     It  then   dawned 
upon   them,  as  doubtless    the  reader   has   already  sus- 
pected,  that   her   resistance   was    entirely  feigned,    and 
that  after  all  she  was  anxious   to   rejoin  her   husband, 
which  doubtless  she  did  in  due  course. 


136  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

The  inhabitants  of  the  wild  prairies  of  North 
America,  idealised  so  delightfully  by  Mr.  Longfellow 
in  his  "  Hiawatha,"  appear  to  be  generally  as  un- 
romantic  in  their  marriages  as  other  uncivilised  races. 
A  father  sells  his  daughter  just  as  a  Kaffir  does.  Mr. 
Catlin,  who  wrote  an  important  work  on  these  people, 
describes  how  a  clever  young  son  of  a  chief  obtained 
no  less  than  four  brides  on  the  same  day.  The  story 
runs  somewhat  as  follows  : — 

The  father,  to  start  his  son  in  life,  gave  him  horses 
and  other  property  of  considerable  value.  The  young 
man,  rejoicing  greatly  in  his  newly  acquired  wealth, 
conceived  a  plan,  by  means  of  which  he  thought  he 
could  "  break  the  record  " — at  least  in  matrimonial 
affairs  ;  and  he  succeeded.  His  first  step  was  to  go 
to  one  of  the  chiefs  and  ask  his  daughter  in  marriage  ; 
the  request  was  granted  for  the  consideration  of  two 
horses,  a  gun,  and  several  pounds  of  tobacco. 

So  the  "  happy  day  "  was  fixed  between  them,  with 
the  understanding  that  the  engagement  should  be  kept 
a  profound  secret.  Being  "  on  the  war-path "  for 
brides,  one  only  would  not  content  him.  He  must 
needs  win  three  others.  So  the  same  tactics  were 
repeated  with  three  other  chiefs,  who  all  promised  him 
their  daughters,  on  the  same  terms,  secrecy  being 
promised  in  each  case. 

The  appointed  day  having  arrived,  the  artful  young 
man  gave  it  out  to  the  tribe  that  he  was  to  be  married 
at  a  certain  hour.  His  friends  assembled  at  the  ren- 
dezvous ;   but  no  one  knew  who  was  to  be  the  bride. 


NORTH    AMERICAN   INDIANS  137 

while  each  of  the  four  fathers  stood  by  his  daughter, 
ready  to  give  her  away  with  all  due  formality.  The 
bridegroom  then  gave  the  two  horses,  gun,  and  tobacco 
to  the  father  with  whom  he  had  first  negotiated  and 
claimed  his  bride.  The  other  chiefs  naturally  were 
highly  indignant,  each  declaring  that  his  daughter 
was  the  "  true  bride."  A  scene  of  great  uproar  and 
confusion  followed  ;  the  bridegroom  coolly  explained 
to  his  fellow-tribesmen  how  matters  stood,  and 
claimed  the  other  three  young  women  in  the  same  way 
as  he  had  already  claimed  the  first.  It  was  a  case  of 
"  ready  money,"  for  horses  and  all  were  produced 
and  given  to  the  chiefs.  No  one  was  able  to  forbid 
the  other  alliances,  since  all  was  fair  and  honourable ; 
and  so  in  sight  of  an  admiring  crowd  the  enterprising 
young  man  led  his  four  brides  to  his  wigwam,  two 
in   each   hand. 

The  "  Medicine  Men "  were  so  struck  with  his 
boldness  and  originality  that  they  enrolled  him  in 
their  ranks,  making  him  thereby  equal  with  some  of 
the  greatest  men  in  the  tribe.  In  this  way  he  rose, 
as  it  were  from  the  ranks,  to  a  position  of  great 
influence. 

Mr.  Catlin  says  :  "  I  visited  the  wigwam  of  this 
young  installed  Medicine  Man  several  times,  and  saw 
his  four  modest  little  wives  seated  round  the  fire,  where 
all  seemed  to  harmonise  very  well,  and  for  aught  I 
could  discover  were  entering  very  happily  on  the  duties 
of  married  life.  I  selected  one  of  them  for  her  portrait, 
and  painted    Mong-shong-shaw   the   '  bending  willow ' 


138  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

in  a  very  pretty  dress  of  deer  skins,  and  covered  with 
a  young  buffalo's  robe,  which  was  handsomely  orna- 
mented, and  worn  with  much  grace  and  pleasing 
effect." 

The  same  author,  who  spent  so  much  time  with  the 
Indians,  sketching  them  and  studying  their  manners 
and  customs,  bears  strong  testimony  to  the  affection 
which,  in  spite  of  the  hard  work  put  upon  women, 
exists  between  parents  and  their  daughters.  There  are 
cases  in  which  the  wishes  or  decrees  of  parents  are  set 
at  nought  ;  but  this  is  quite  the  exception.  The  Sioux 
have  a  bold  projecting  rock  six  or  seven  hundred  feet 
high  overlooking  a  lake,  from  which,  it  is  said,  a  beau- 
tiful Indian  girl,  the  daughter  of  a  chief,  threw  herself 
in  the  presence  of  her  tribe  some  seventy  years  ago, 
and  was  dashed  to  pieces,  rather  than  become  the  wife 
of  a  man  whom  her  father  had  selected  for  her  husband. 

Among  the  Sioux,  if  one  of  them  contracts  an 
alliance  with  the  eldest  daughter  of  a  chief,  he  is 
thereby  "  married  to  the  family,"  not  only  in  name  (as 
we  should  say  in  jest)  but  in  fact,  for  he  is  then  at 
liberty  to  claim  any  of  the  other  daughters.  With  the 
Ojibways  the  young  people  are  betrothed  in  "  child- 
hood's happy  hour  "  by  their  parents,  at  least  it  is 
generally  so.  But  if  a  young  man  is  not  so  engaged 
he  may  send  a  present  to  the  girl  he  fancies,  the 
acceptance  of  which  is  equivalent  to  a  promise  of 
marriage.  After  a  few  months  of  courtship  he  is 
allowed  to  take  her  with  him,  not  exactly  for  a 
"  honeymoon,"    but    on    a    little     hunting     trip.     She 


NORTH    AMERICAN    INDIANS  139 

steers  his  canoe  for  him,  and  on  their  return  they 
offer  whatever  game  they  may  have  caught  to  the 
parents,  who  then  acknowledge  the  match. 

Betrothals  are  greatly  respected,  so  that  the  engage- 
ment is  seldom  broken  off,  and  in  some  cases  children 
are  betrothed.  Although  business-like  and  practical  in 
all  matrimonial  arrangements,  these  people  are  not 
entirely  devoid  of  sentiment.  Their  songs  are  often 
about  love,  and  English  travellers  are  sometimes  the 
bearers  of  love-messages  to  girls  of  distant  tribes  ; 
elopements  frequently  take  place.  Wives  are  generally 
well  treated. 

Among  some  tribes  a  young  man  goes  courting 
in  the  following  fashion.  Every  morning  he  rises 
early  and  makes  straight  for  the  wigwam  where  the 
girl  lives  who  has  taken  his  fancy.  Hour  after  hour 
the  faithful  swain  sits  outside  on  the  ground,  wrapped 
up  in  a  blanket.  After  a  while  the  people  in  the 
lodge,  or  tent,  begin  to  stir,  going  in  and  out  on 
their  several  errands  ;  no  one,  however,  takes  any 
notice  of  him,  they  all  know  what  he  has  come 
for  ;  but  it  is  not  etiquette  to  say  anything,  at  least 
for  the  present.  After  some  days,  it  may  be  a 
week,  the  patient  lover  is  invited  to  enter,  and  if  the 
parents  entertain  a  good  opinion  of  him  (for  they 
doubtless  are  acquainted  with  his  family),  they  offer 
him  food.  Should  they  wish  to  show  their  esteem  for 
him,  the  father  cooks  the  fish,  or  whatever  food  is 
offered  himself,  and  then  the  lover  knows  that  all  is 
well,  and  the  fair  one  will  soon  be  his  wife.      Later  on, 


I40  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

friends  come  forward  on  his  behalf  to  negotiate  with 
the  father  as  to  the  amount  of  the  purchase  money  ; 
for  purchase  it  is  in  reality,  although  an  Indian,  if 
you  asked  him,  would  deny  this,  and  say  that  the 
gifts  of  the  husband  were  of  a  more  complimentary 
nature. 

The  Indians  inhabiting  the  western  shores  of  Van- 
couver's Island  have  a  curious  way  of  arranging 
marriages,  which  is,  in  some  respects,  unlike  anything 
else  we  have  come  across.  The  suitor  is  escorted  by 
a  great  number  of  his  friends,  in  some  thirty  or  forty 
canoes.  Nobody  speaks  for  about  ten  minutes,  for  these 
"  children  of  Nature  "  are  very  reserved  indeed.  At  last 
the  visitors  are  requested  to  say  where  they  come  from, 
and  what  is  their  object  in  coming.  Thereupon  some 
man  gets  up  in  his  canoe  and  harangues  the  natives  on 
shore  at  the  very  top  of  his  voice,  and  a  very  loud 
voice  it  is.  His  business  is  to  laud  the  would-be 
husband  in  every  possible  way  ;  and  this  he  does  by 
giving  his  name,  his  titles  and  history,  stating  also  the 
number  of  his  friends  and  connections,  hoping  thereby 
to  obtain  a  considerable  reduction  in  the  purchase 
money.  Then,  by  way  of  a  first  bid,  the  canoe  is 
paddled  to  the  shore  and  a  number  of  blankets  thrown 
out.  This  very  small  offer  is  received  with  derision 
and  roars  of  laughter  from  the  bride's  friends.  They 
are  not  going  to  let  her  go  quite  so  cheap  as  that  ;  he 
must  offer  a  great  deal  more.  The  answer  given  is 
more  or  less  equivalent  to  our  slang  expression,  "  Get 
along  with  you."     Then  arises  an  orator  from  the  shore 


=^ 


NORTH    AMERICAN   INDIANS  141 

who  speaks  up  right  gallantly  for  the  bride,  praising  her 
virtues  and  describing  her  in  the  most  glowing  terms 
with  many  a  flowery  epithet,  until  the  original  offer  is 
considerably  increased.  All  this  oratory  and  bartering 
occupies  a  good  many  hours,  until  at  last  the  bride  is, 
handed  over  with  nothing  on  but  her  under  garment, 
so  greedy  are  her  relatives.  The  first  present  she  her- 
self receives  is  a  blanket. 

Fathers  are  sometimes  very  particular  in  their  choice 
of  a  son-in-law.  In  the  same  island,  in  the  front  of 
the  house  of  the  chief  of  Clayoquet,  lies  a  large  stone, 
and  any  young  Indian  applying  for  the  hand  of  one  of 
his  daughters  is  politely  requested  to  prove  his  strength 
by  lifting  it  up.  If  he  fails,  it  is  hopeless  ;  he  must  try 
his  luck  elsewhere. 

On  "  The  Plains,"  extending  from  Missouri  on  the 
east  to  the  Rocky  Mountains  on  the  west,  a  boy 
begins  to  look  out  for  a  wife  as  soon  as  he  has  passed 
through  the  painful  ordeal  imposed  upon  him,  and 
become  a  warrior.  Having  seen  a  maiden  who  takes 
his  fancy,  he  lingers  about  near  her  lodge,  showing  by 
his  looks  that  he  is  in  love.  A  little  later  on,  sup- 
posing that  he  meets  with  no  rebuffs,  the  young  man 
takes  to  serenading,  with  some  wretched  substitute  for 
a  flute.  His  doleful  strains  drive  all  the  neighbouring 
dogs  and  old  women  nearly  frantic  !  Becoming  now  a 
little  more  hopeful,  he  lies  in  wait  each  evening,  watch- 
ing anxiously  for  the  fair  one  to  appear,  but  carefully 
concealing  himself,  lest  any  other  person  should  see 
him.     If  the  girl  ventures  out  after  dark  he  promptly 


142  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

seizes  her  in  his  arms,  with  the  object  of  carrying  her 
to  some  convenient  shelter,  where  they  can  hold  sweet 
converse  together  unseen.  This  is  the  test  of  her  real 
feelings;  for  if  his  attentions  are  unwelcome,  she 
screams  and  struggles,  so  that  he  is  obliged  let  her  go. 
But  should  she  offer  no  resistance  he  knows  that  she 
may  be  won  ;  and  so  they  go  off  and  sit  down  together 
under  the  cover  of  a  large  blanket,  which  almost  entirely 
hides  them. 

It  happens  from  time  to  time  that  two  or  three 
youthful  aspirants  arc  all  paying  court  to  one  damsel. 
In  such  cases  they  all  apply  this  same  test.  Coming 
near  her  lodge  at  night  they  conceal  themselves,  and 
when  she  appears  on  the  scene  one  seizes  her,  and  if  she 
resists  must  give  up  all  claim  and  let  her  go,  whereupon 
the  next  one  docs  the  same.  Perhaps  he  also  is  equally 
uncared  for,  and  so  lets  her  go  for  the  third  one  to  try 
his  luck.  Should  this  prove  to  be  the  favoured  swain, 
the  others  promptly  retire,  and  leave  the  happy  lover  to 
do  his  courting  unmolested,  as  described  above.  We 
will  suppose  that  the  girl  is  now  won.  But  what  about 
her  father  ?  He,  of  course,  must  have  a  voice  in  the 
matter.  A  curious  scene  ensues  between  the  lover  and 
the  parent,  which  may  be  described  as  follows  : — 

"  I  think  of  taking  your  daughter  for  my  wife,"  says 
the  lover.  "  She  is  an  ugly  thing,  lazy  as  a  bear,  does 
iKjt  know  how  to  cook  or  to  work,  and  is  of  no  worth  ; 
but,  as  I  am  sure  you  must  want  to  get  rid  ot  her,  I 
came  to  tell  you  that  as  a  favour  to  you  I  will  take  her 
off  y(jur  hands." 


NORTH   AMERICAN   INDIANS  143 

"  Oh,"  answers  the  father,  "  we  want  my  darling 
girl,  the  best  and  most  loving  daughter  man  ever  had, 
the  best  cook  and  dresser  of  buffalo  skins,  the  finest 
bread-maker,  the  hardest  and  most  willing  worker  in 
the  whole  tribe.  I  cannot  spare  my  darling.  I  will 
not  part  with  her  to  any  one,  much  less  to  yoii^  who 
are  young,  who  have  taken  only  one  scalp,  who  have 
stolen  not  more  than  two  ponies.  You  indeed  !  No, 
you  cannot  have  my  daughter  unless  you  give  me 
twenty  ponies  for  her." 

"  Twenty  ponies  !  "  cries  the  astonished  lover  with 
great  contempt  ;  "  twenty  ponies  for  an  ugly  girl  not 
worth  one  buffalo  robe  ;  I  can  buy  a  dozen  better  at 
the  price." 

And  so  the  haggling  goes  on,  often  with  bitter  and 
cutting  personal  remarks,  the  father  praising  and  the 
lover  disparaging  the  girl.  Both  parties  often  become 
very  violent  ;  but  at  last  the  father  sees  it  is  of  no  use 
asking  too  much,  and  so  in  the  end  the  lover  gets  his 
sweetheart  for  one  or  two  or  three  ponies.  The  ponies 
having  been  duly  delivered,  the  young  couple  live  in 
the  house  of  the  bride's  father  until  her  husband  is  rich 
enough  to  provide  a  lodge  for  himself. 

A  wife  is  the  husband's  absolute  property.  But  she 
has  this  hold  over  him  ;  he  knows  that  if  he  ill-treats 
her  she  will  probably  elope  with  some  one  else.  In 
that  case  matters  are  reported  to  the  chiet,  and  the  man 
who  stole  her  pays  a  fine,  but  the  woman  will  not  go 
back  to  her  first  husband. 

The    Cherokee    Indians    have   invented    a    marriage 


144  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

ceremony  which  may  be  said  to  be  both  simple  and 
poetic,  as  well  as  original,  so  far  as  the  present  writer  is 
aware.  The  youth,  having  wooed  and  won  the  maiden 
of  his  choice,  as  soon  as  the  usual  presents  have  been 
made  to  the  father,  takes  her  to  a  small  stream,  where 
the  two  solemnly  join  hands  over  the  running  water. 
It  is  not  quite  easy  to  see  how  this  custom  arose,  but 
with  all  old  races  water  appears  to  possess  some  special 
virtue  and  symbolic  meaning,  as  we  see  from  Brahmin, 
Russian,  and  other  customs.  However,  the  poetic  side 
of  the  picture  will  be  obvious  to  all.  We  speak  of 
"  the  river  of  life,"  and  doubtless  the  Indian  and  his 
bride  wish  that  the  course  of  their  lives  may  run 
smoothly  and  harmoniously,  and  that  neither  in  life 
nor  in  death  may  they  be  divided. 

The  father's  regret  when  his  daughter  leaves  him  is 
pathetically  told  in  Longfellow's  well-known  lines  : — 

"  From  the  wigwam  he  departed, 
Leading  with  him  Laughing  Water  ; 
Hand  ill  hand  they  went  together, 
Through  the  woodland  and  the  meadow, 
Left  the  old  man  standing  lonely 
At  the  doorway  of  his  wigwam, 
Heard  the  falls  of  Minnehaha 
Calling  to  them  from  the  distance, 
Crying  to  them  from  afar  off", 
'Fare  thee  well,  O  Minnehaha  !  ' 
And  the  ancient  Arrow-maker 
Turned  again  unto  his  labor, 
Sat  down  by  his  sunny  doorway, 
Murmuring  to  himself  and  saying  : 
'Thus  it  is  our  daughters  leave  us, 
Those  we  love,  and  those  who  love  us  ! 


ARAUCANIA  145 

)iist  when  they  have  learned  lo  help  us, 
When  we  are  old  and  lean  upon  iheni, 
Comes  a  youth  with  ilaunting  feathers, 
With  his  flute  of  reeds,  a  stranger 
Wanders  piping  through  the  village. 
Beckons  to  the  fairest  maiden, 
And  she  follows  where  he  leads  her, 
Leaving  all  things  for  the  stranger  !  '  " 

The  very  primitive  and  degraded  specimens  of  the 
human  race  who  inhabit  that  part  of  South  America 
known  as  Araucania,  exhibit  in  their  marriage  customs 
unmistakable  survivals  oi  "  marriage  by  capture  "  ; 
more  so,  in  fact,  than  Arabs  or  Thibetans.  The  bride 
is  carried  off  to  the  woods  on  horseback,  though  not 
without  her  consent.  The  young  man  is  supposed  to 
steal  his  bride  and  take  her  away  by  force,  but  in  reality 
the  affair  is  all  ''arranged"  in  a  business-like  manner 
with  her  parents,  who  are  liberally  requited  for  their 
loss.  Araucanians,  like  Papuans,  negroes,  and  others, 
are  very  fond  of  the  Jew's  harp,  and  it  is  with  this  not 
very  melodious  instrument  that  a  young  man  woos  the 
girl  ot  his  choice.  If  his  affectionate  glances  are 
favourably  received  he  knows  he  may  proceed  to 
business  and  arrange  matters  with  her  parents.  If  not 
well  endowed  with  worldly  goods,  he  borrows  oxen  or 
horses  from  his  friends. 

When  the  purchase  has  been  effected  his  male  friends 
proceed  on  horseback  to  the  home  of  the  girl  and  ask 
her  parents'  consent  to  the  match.  Some  of  the  best 
speakers  amongst  them  expatiate  on  the  young  man's 
merits,  and  draw  a  glowing  picture  of  the  happiness  in 

II 


146  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

store  for  the  daughter  of  the  house,  to  whom  the  father 
repHes  in  a  formal  speech. 

But  all  this  palaver  is  mere  ceremony  and  waste  of 
words,  for  in  the  meantime  the  would-be  bridegroom 
is  searching  for  his  intended.  When  found  she  is 
expected  to  show  the  greatest  possible  reluctance,  and 
this  she  does  by  shrieking  and  screaming  at  the  top  of  her 
voice,  thus  reminding  one  of  the  Greek  custom  where 
the  bride  says,  "  Drive  on,  never  mind  these  tears  " 
(see  p.  181 ).  Her  cries  are  the  signal  for  a  fierce  mock 
combat.  All  the  women  take  up  sticks  or  stones,  or 
"  anything  that's  handy  "  (as  Mr.  C.  S.  Calverley  says), 
and  rush  to  her  aid.  The  men  do  the  same,  and  often 
get  rather  severe  blows.  Finally  the  bridegroom  makes 
a  dash  for  the  bride,  and  drags  her  to  his  horse  by  the 
hair  or  heels,  leaps  on  his  horse,  pulls  her  up,  and 
gallops  away  to  the  forest.  Her  friends  give  chase,  but 
are  warded  off  by  his  companions,  until  finally  they  get 
tired  of  all  this  sham  fighting. 

On  the  second  day  the  bride  and  bridegroom  are 
allowed  to  emerge  from  the  wood,  and  the  marriage  is 
recognised.  If  "  the  wrong  man  "  should  endeavour 
to  run  away  with  the  girl  he  is  pretty  sure  to  be  beaten 
off. 

After  a  few  days  friends  call,  offer  their  good  wishes, 
and  bring  wedding  presents.  But  the  mother-in-law — 
for  the  sake  of  appearances,  we  presume — is  not  so 
easily  appeased.  In  fact,  as  is  the  case  among  Kaffirs, 
she  may  not  speak  to  her  son-in-law.  At  the  feast 
which  concludes  the  ceremonies  the  bride  must  speak 


TIERRA    DEL   FUEGO  147 

to  the  husband  for  her  mother,  and  asks  him  if  he  is 
hungry. 

Among  the  Patagonians  "marriage  by  capture  "  is 
unknown  ;  there  is  no  ceremony,  only  an  exchange  of 
presents  on  either  side,  those  given  by  the  woman  being 
in  value  equal  to  those  she  receives  from  the  man. 
Should  they  separate  after  a  time  her  property  is 
restored  to  her.  The  bride  is  escorted  to  the  bride- 
groom's hut  amidst  the  cheering  of  his  friends  and  the 
singing  of  women.  They  slaughter  a  mare  for  the 
occasion,  and  take  great  care  not  to  le  the  dogs  touch 
any  of  the  meat  or  offal,  which  would  be  considered 
unlucky.  Its  head,  tail,  backbone,  heart,  and  liver  are 
taken  to  the  top  of  a  neighbouring  hill  as  an  offering 
to  the  evil  spirit. 

Judging    from    the    description    given   of  them    by 
Darwin  in  his  famous  Journal,  the  inhabitants  of  Tierra 
del  Fuego  (the  land  of  fire,  a  highly  volcanic  region) 
are  the  most  miserable  and  degraded  specimens  of  the      '    »     \\j 
human    race.      Here,    as    might   be   expected,   we  find  (*''*'  \    ^^s 
"  marriage   by  capture  "  in  force.     As  soon  as  a  youth    ^'^ 
is  able  to  maintain  a  wife   by  his  own  exertions  as  a 
fisherman  and  hunter,   he   obtains  the   consent  of  the 
girl's  parents,  builds  or  steals  a  canoe,  and  waits  for  a 
chance  to  carry  off  the  particular  girl  he  fancies.     She, 
of  course,  is  aware  of  his  intentions,  and,  if  unwilling 
to  become  his  wife,  seeks  shelter  in  the  woods  until  he 
is  tired  of  searching  for  her,  but  in  practice  this  seldom 
happens. 


CHAPTER  X 

Australasia 

AMONG  the  the  wild  aborigines  of  South  Austraha 
and  other  parts  of  the  continent  there  are  no 
marriage  rites  at  all,  and  a  wife  is  obtained  either  by 
purchase  from  her  father  or  brother,  or  else  carried  off 
by  main  force.  As  in  China,  men  and  women  having 
the  same  family  name  are  not  allowed  to  marry.  In 
accordance  with  customs  not  yet  fully  understood,  girls 
are  betrothed  to  certain  men  as  soon  as  they  are  born. 
This  engagement  is  considered  so  binding  that  a  woman 
breaking  it  is  killed  (and  often  eaten)  ;  while  a  man 
who  offends  in  the  same  way  is  punished  by  being 
severely  wounded  with  a  spear.  A  married  woman  is 
the  mere  slave  of  her  husband  ;  it  is  her  duty  to 
provide  him  with  an  ample  supply  of  roots  and  other 
kinds  of  vegetable  food.  Hers  is  indeed  a  hard  lot  ; 
when  game  forms  part  of  her  lord's  dinner,  she  receives 
nothing  but  bones  and  refuse.  When  ill,  or  seriously 
injured,  she  is  left  to  die  without  the  smallest  com- 
punction, and,  on  the  slightest  pretext,  is  liable  at  any 
time  to  be  cruelly  beaten  or  speared.  Few  women  are 
free  from  frightful  scars  on  the  head  or  marks  of  spear 
wounds  on  the  body,  while  some  are  completely  covered 


NEW   ZEALAND  149 

with  marks  and  ugly  gashes  !  One  would  think  that 
such  degraded  creatures  as  these  men  are  would  be 
quite  incapable  of  appreciating  female  beauty,  but  that 
is  not  the  case.  Good-looking  girls  are  much  admired, 
and  consequently  frequently  stolen  away.  A  young 
woman  at  all  celebrated  for  her  beauty  usually  under- 
goes a  series  of  captivities  to  different  masters,  and 
meets  with  cruel  treatment.  She  never  stays  long  with 
one  man  because  others  endeavour  to  steal  her  away. 
It  is  her  sad  fate  to  be  a  wanderer  amongst  strange 
families,  where  the  other  women  are  jealous  of  her,  and 
to  be  the  cause  of  many  a  fight,  and  to  receive  many 
severe  wounds.  Those  of  the  men  who  are  in  a  position 
to  maintain  more  than  one  wife  do  so.  If  in  any 
particular  tribe  there  is  a  scarcity  of  women,  they  make 
a  raid  on  some  neighbouring  tribe  and  carry  off  as 
many  women  as  they  can  (see  the  Author's  "  Primeval 
Scenes,"  Scene  xv. — Methuen  &  Co.). 

In  New  Zealand  the  Maoris  sometimes  betroth 
children  at  an  early  age,  but  that  is  exceptional. 
A  little  girl  thus  pledged  to  some  man  is  as  strictly 
bound  as  if  she  were  actually  married.  They  seldom 
have  more  than  one  wife,  who  always  expects  to  be 
consulted  by  her  husband  in  every  important  matter. 
Hence  Maori  women  are  treated  with  more  respect  and 
consideration  than  in  many  other  countries.  Marriages 
take  place  when  the  bridegroom  is  about  seventeen,  and 
the  bride  rather  younger.  As  soon  as  a  young  man 
considers  that  he  is  in  a  position  to  support  a  wife,  he 


150  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

begins  to  look  around,  if  he  has  not  already  done  so, 
for  a  suitable  partner.  We  find  no  "  match-makers  " 
here  ;  the  young  people  prefer  to  choose  for  themselves, 
though,  we  are  sorry  to  say,  there  is  usually  not  much 
liberty  of  choice  for  the  girls.  They  can,  and 
frequently  do,  refuse  offers  of  marriage  from  men  who 
do  not  take  their  fancy  ;  but  for  all  that,  the  young 
man  generally  gets  the  girl  he  wishes  for  in  the  end, 
however  much  she  or  her  friends  may  object  to  the 
marriage.  Occasionally,  it  happens  that  a  maiden  is 
courted  at  the  same  time  by  two  men,  whose  claims 
are  pretty  nearly  equal.  In  such  a  case  the  father, 
refusing  to  arbitrate  between  the  rivals,  leaves  them  to 
fight  it  out  between  themselves  and  his  daughter. 
They  do  not,  however,  actually  come  to  blows  ;  but 
each  one  taking  her  arm,  endeavours  forcibly  to 
persuade  her  to  come  and  live  with  him.  So  severely 
do  they  handle  the  object  of  their  affections,  that  her 
arms  are  often  dislocated,  and  always  so  severely 
strained  as  to  be  useless  for  some  time.  In  old  times, 
according  to  several  travellers,  actual  combats  took 
place  between  the  men,  and  these  sometimes  had  a  fatal 
result.  A  young  mati  whose  offer  has  been  refused  sets 
to  work  and  contrives  somehow  to  capture  the  girl  who 
has  taken  his  fancy.  Her  relations  and  friends  make 
preparations  against  a  sudden  attack  ;  and  when,  sooner 
or  later  the  "  raid  "  is  planned,  a  severe  struggle  takes 
place,  in  which  clubs  and  other  weapons  are  freely  used. 
Instances  are  known  of  the  girl  being  killed  in  spite 
by  one  of  the  losing  side  ! 


NEW   GUINEA  151 

The  island  of  New  Guinea  is  inhabited  by  three  races 
— Malays,  from  the  Malay  Peninsula,  Polynesians,  from 
neighbouring  islands,  and  Papuans.  The  latter  people 
received  their  name  from  the  Malays,  who  called  them 
"  frizzly-haired  "  {Pim  Pua,  or  Papuas). 

Among  the  Papuans,  when  a  young  man  is  "  grown- 
up," that  is  to  say,  when  he  is  about  twenty  years  of 
age,  he  looks  out  for  a  wife.      But  there  are  difficulties 
in  the  way  of  marriage  ;  and  when  the  future  partner 
has  been  selected,  the  would-be  husband  may  have  to 
wait  a  long  time.     Wives  cannot  be  got  for  nothing, 
and  so  the  lover  must  make  the  best  use  he  can  of  his 
time   and  get   together   no  small    amount    of  worldly 
goods  wherewith  to  buy  his  wife  from  her  parents,  or, 
it    they   are   dead,   from   her   relatives.     The    payment 
usually  consists  of  pigs,   food,   ornaments,  pearl-shells, 
calico,    and    beads,     or    other    European    articles    of 
manufacture  if  such  have  found  their  way  to  his  village. 
But  there  is  a  great  variety  in  the  presents  received  by 
a  bride  from  her  husband,  as  the  following  account  will 
prove  :      "  Among  other  curious  sights,  we  were  shown 
the    price,    or    dowry,    of    a    wife,    heaped    upon    the 
platform  ^    of   one    of   the    houses.     It   consisted    of  a 
quantity  of  all  kinds  of  New  Guinea  goods  and  chattels, 
pots,  earthenware,    wooden    weapons,   bird-of-paradise 
plumes,  baskets  of  yams,  bunches  of  bananas  and  other 
produce.     Among  the  articles  were  two  pigs  tied  up 

'  These  platforms  are  at  some  height  above  the  ground.  See 
the  large  framed  photographs  in  the  British  Museum,  Ethnological 
Gallery. 


152  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

underneath  the  house.  The  bride  herself  sat,  all  smiles, 
on  the  verandah  above,  over  her  earthly  treasures,  with 
as  much  pride  as  any  white  sister  might  feel  on 
exhibiting  her  trousseau."  ' 

The  pig,  or  pigs,  must  on  no  account  be  omitted. 
As  a  rule,  a  woman,  on  her  marriage,  is  deprived  of  all 
her  hair  and  ornaments.  But  at  Maiva  the  bride 
retains  her  pretty  hair  and  the  ornaments.  As  a  sign 
to  all  that  she  is  now  married  her  face  is  tattooed  ;  young 
girls  are  tattooed  all  over  the  body,  their  faces  only 
excepted.  On  the  day  of  the  wedding  a  great  feast  is 
held,  at  which  the  company  devours  yams,  bananas, 
betel  nut,  and  the  fatted  pig.  Presents  are  brought  by 
the  invited  guests,  and  these  consist  chiefly  of 
contributions  such  as  can  be  eaten.  Bride  and  bride- 
groom are  dressed  in  all  their  best  garments  and  decked 
out  in  feathers,  shells,  and  bright  leaves  of  plants.  No 
priest  is  called  in  to  tie  the  knot,  and,  as  soon  as  the 
feasting  is  over,  the  young  couple  settle  down  to 
married  life.  Some  of  the  Papuans,  not  content  with 
one,  marry  three  or  four  wives,  buying  each  in  the 
usual  way.  The  marriage  tie  is  not  considered  very 
binding,  and  it  is  no  uncommon  occurrence  for  a  woman 
to  leave  her  husband  three  or  four  times  during  their 
married  life.  Under  these  circumstances  domestic  life 
can  hardly  be  said  to  present  a  pleasing  picture  !  Often 
it  is  the  other  way,  and  the  husband  is  the  offender. 
These    unfortunate    affairs    lead    to  frequent    conflicts. 

■  "Picturesque  New  Guinea,"  by  J.  W.  Lindt,  F.R.G.S., 
London,  1H87.      Illustrated  by  a  scries  of  admirable  photographs. 


LONG   ISLAND  153 

Revenge  takes  the  malicious  form  of  destroying  cocoa- 
nut  trees  and  vegetable  gardens.  Some  of  the  people 
live  in  little  huts  constructed  near  the  tops  of  trees, 
like  so  many  birdsnests  ;  one  wonders  what  the  result 
is  when  husband  and  wife  "  fall  out  !  "  Possibly  the 
situation  has  its  advantages ;  for  the  woman,  being 
the  weaker,  might  be  afraid  of  seeking  a  quarrel,  as 
a  fall  to  the  ground  would  certainly  prove  fatal. 

Among  the  Nufoor  Papuans,  i.e.^  the  people 
who  inhabit  Long  Island,  which  is  not  far  from 
New  Guinea,  the  woman  is  little  more  than  the 
slave  of  her  husband.  A  wife  must  cook  the  food, 
draw  water,  make  pottery  and  fibre  baskets,  and 
submit  to  much  ill-usage.  Children  are  betrothed 
at  an  early  age  ;  and  as  soon  as  the  marriage  has 
been  agreed  to,  the  parents  of  the  future  husband 
pay  the  other  family  a  part  of  the  price  stipulated, 
or,  to  put  it  in  very  modern  English,  pay  so  much 
"  on  account."  A  childless  wife  is  dismissed.  Ac- 
cording to  a  curious  custom,  the  bride-elect  and  her 
near  relations  are  compelled  to  keep  out  of  the  way 
of  the  boy  to  whom  she  is  betrothed,  and  all  his 
people,  until  the  marriage  takes  place.  It  is  difficult 
to  see  any  reason  for  a  custom  so  inconvenient  and 
unnatural.  It  may,  however,  be  a  case  of  "  taboo." 
Such  betrothals  are  not  binding,  consequently  the  boy, 
when  he  becomes  a  man,  may  refuse  to  fulfil  the 
contract.  In  some  other  islands  it  is  exactly  the 
other    way,    and    the     bargain    must    be    carried    out. 


l^^ 


154  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

The  bridegroom,  011  the  day  of  his  marriage,  goes  to 
the  bride's  house  preceded  by  a  crowd  of  women, 
each  carrying  in  her  hand  a  small  present.  A  room 
is  set  apart  for  the  ceremony  ;  the  young  couple  are 
placed  back  to  back,  the  guests  meanwhile  taking  up 
their  position  around  them — men  on  one  side  and 
women  on  the  other.  The  oldest  relation  is  chosen 
to  perform  the  simple  but  curious  ceremony.  Joining 
the  right  hands  of  the  bride  and  bridegroom,  he 
spurts  a  mouthful  of  water  over  them,  with  these 
words — "  May  no  enemy  kill  you,  and  no  evil  spirit 
affect  you  with  sickness  !  "  Sago  is  brought,  of  which 
both  partake,  and  afterwards  the  guests. 

After  marriage  certain  remarkable  customs  are  ob- 
served. The  husband  and  wife  must  sit  up  all  night  ; 
should  they  appear  for  a  moment  to  fall  asleep,  their 
friends,  who  sit  up  with  them,  immediately  arouse 
them.  These  attentions,  however,  are  well-meant,  for 
the  people  have  a  firm  belief  that  only  in  this  way 
can  a  long  and  happy  life  be  ensured  !  It  is  some- 
times easy  to  suggest  explanations  of  savage  customs, 
^  1  but  always  unsafe./  Maybe  they  hope  thus  to  drive 
s\*'"'  away  evil  spirits,  but  who  can  say  .n  This  sitting 
up  continues  for  four  nights.  Sleep  is  permitted  by 
day  to  the  bride,  while  her  husband  stays  away. 
On  the  fifth  day  they  are  allowed  to  meet  alone, 
and  then   only  by  night. 

There  is  little  or  no  ceremony  when  widows  are 
married.  The  chief  thing  appears  to  be  to  make  sure 
of   driving    away   the  ghost    of   the    "  late   lamented " 


NEW   BRITAIN  155 

husband.  With  this  important  object  in  view,  the 
bride  and  bridegroom  walk  into  the  jungle  or  forest, 
attended  by  some  widow,  or  married  woman,  who 
breaks  twigs  off  the  trees  to  pelt  the  bride.  A 
small  present  is  given  to  the  woman  who  renders 
this  valuable  service,  and  the  widow,  now  once 
more  a  wife,  changes  her  old  garment  for  a  new  one. 

Among  Papuans,  the  men,  being  warriors,  look 
down  upon  their  women-folk,  whom  they  regard  as 
labourers — at  least  to  a  certain  extent.  The  wives, 
however,  are  not,  as  a  rule,  badly  treated,  and  are  by 
no  means  mere  slaves.  They  contrive  to  have  a 
voice  in  the  management  of  affairs,  both  domestic 
and  public.  As  in  Europe  in  the  time  of  Julius 
Cassar,  so  here,  it  is  often  the  women  who  incite 
the  men  to  war,  or  perhaps  to  deeds  of  murder  and 
plunder.  They  have  been  known  to  arouse  the  fighting 
instinct  in  men  by  rushing  wildly  into  their  midst 
and  addressing  them  in  terms  such  as  these  :  "  What, 
you  are  afraid  to  do  this  ;  and  yet  you  call  your- 
selves men  and  warriors  !  Out  upon  you  !  you  have 
not  the  hearts  of  men  ;  you  are  more  like  a  pack 
of  old  women  !  You  ought  to  put  on  the  grass 
petticoat,  stay  at  home  and  do  the  cooking  !  "  Taunts 
such  as  these,  it  is  almost  needless  to  say,  usually 
have  the  desired  effect.  On  the  whole  these  people 
appear  to  travellers  to  be  a  bright  and  merry  race,  for 
Nature  suppHes  nearly  all  their  wants. 

The  people  of  New  Britain,  east  of  New  Guinea,  have 


156  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

somewhat  different  customs.  A  young  man  contem- 
plating matrimony  confides  the  secret  to  his  parents,  or 
if  he  is  an  orphan,  to  the  chief  of  the  tribe  he  belongs 
to,  informing  them  at  the  same  time  who  is  the  maiden 
that  has  won  his  heart.  The  would-be  husband  is  then 
sent  off  into  the  bush,  in  order,  we  may  suppose,  to  be  out 
of  the  way  while  his  father,  or  the  chief,  as  the  case  may 
be,  goes  to  the  girl's  relations  to  arrange  about  the  dowry, 
or  purchase  money,  over  which  there  is  much  haggling 
On  the  wedding-day  a  feast  is  held  at  the  bridegroom's 
house,  with  the  usual  accompaniments  of  music  and 
dancing.  The  bride  does  a  good  deal  of  dancing 
herself.  Meanwhile  the  unfortunate  husband  is  still  in 
the  bush.  The  parents  at  last  send  some  one  to  bring 
him  in.  The  person  deputed  for  this  purpose  may  have 
greatly  difficulty  in  finding  him,  for  young  men,  on 
these  interesting  occasions,  frequently  wander  away  for 
many  a  mile — with  the  idea  of  escaping  from  the  power 
of  departed  spirits,  who  are  supposed  at  such  times  to 
exercise  an  evil  influence  !  These  excursions  into  the 
"  forest  primeval  "  are  not  unattended  with  danger  ;  for 
there  is  the  risk  of  the  bridegroom  being  killed  by  some 
hostile  tribe  on  the  war-path. 

As  in  some  other  places  marriages  are  even  arranged 
for  women  before  their  birth.  Thus,  should  a  chief 
desire  to  be  allied  by  marriage  to  some  particular  family, 
he  buys  a  child  beforehand.  Should  it  prove  a  boy,  the 
money  is  returned  ;  if  a  girl,  she  becomes  absolutely 
his  property,  although  living  with  her  parents  until  old 
enough    to  become  the  chief's   wife.      When    married, 


NEW    BRITAIN  157 

there  is  no  limit  to  the  power  of  her  lord  and  master. 
He  can  even  take  her  life.  There  is  a  horrible  story  of 
a  chief  who  lived  on  the  shore  of  Blanche  Bay.  This 
man's  unfortunate  young  wife  used  to  cry  and  beg  to 
be  allowed  to  return  to  her  own  people  ;  moreover,  what 
was  worse  in  the  eyes  of  her  brutal  husband,  she  refused 
to  do  any  work.  This  he  could  not  endure,  and  flying 
into  a  furious  passion,  told  her  that,  since  she  was  of  no 
use  as  a  wife,  he  would  make  use  of  her  in  another  way. 
Seizing  a  spear,  this  inhuman  monster  killed  his  wife  on 
the  spot,  cooked  her  body,  and  called  his  friends  to- 
gether for  a  feast. 

On  another  occasion  a  man  and  his  wife  were  taken 
by  surprise  in  the  bush,  and  made  prisoners.  The  chief 
who  captured  them  gave  orders  for  the  man  to  be  killed  ; 
this  was  done,  and  the  wife  became  his  property  forth- 
with. So  little  do  they  regard  a  woman's  feelings  that 
at  the  marriage-feast  the  new  wife  saw  the  body  of  her 
late  husband  served  up. 


CHAPTER  XI 

Melanesia  and  Polynesia. 

T  N  the  Solomon  Isles  (Melanesia),  a  girl  is  not  sought 
in  marriage  until  her  charms  have  been  enhanced 
by  the  tattooer's  art.  The  painful  and  tedious  operation 
is  performed  by  a  medicine  man,  whose  services  are 
handsomely  rewarded.  It  is  considered  necessary  to 
employ  musicians  as  well  ;  so  he  first  engages  a  company 
of  professional  singers.  The  concert  begins  at  sunset, 
and  is  kept  up  vigorously  throughout  the  night.  The 
poor  child  is  kept  awake  by  her  friends  in  order  to  hear 
it  all.  At  sunrise  the  man  begins  the  operation,  using 
only  a  sharp  bamboo  knife  (bamboo  is  very  hard,  and 
frequently  used  for  knives).  Thus  he  makes  curious 
and  artistic  network  patterns  on  her  face  and  chest.  It 
is  a  painful  process,  but  she  suffers  without  a  murmur, 
for  all  primitive  races  train  up  their  young  people  to 
bear  pain  silently. 

Next  day  all  is  forgotten  in  the  joyful  thought  that  she 
is  now  an  eligible  young  woman  !  From  this  time  her 
parents  keep  a  watchful  eye  over  their  daughter,  and 
check  any  levity  on  her  part. 

Proposals  follow   before   long,   and    her   friends  who 

1^8 


MELANESIA  159 

have  subscribed  towards  the  expense  of  tattooing  look 
forward  to  repayment  when  she  is  married.  The  higher 
her  rank,  the  more  her  parents  demand  of  the  suitor  ; 
consequently,  needy  young  men  often  have  to  wait  a 
long  time  for  a  wife.  But  if  a  swain  is  known  to 
have  "  expectations,"  he  may  pay  down  a  part  of  the 
purchase-money,  and  claim  a  girl  as  his  fiancee^  in 
which  case  she  will  not  be  given  in  marriage  to  another. 
The  daughters  of  chiefs  seldom  marry  early  on  account 
of  the  unreasonable  demands  of  their  fathers.  A  young 
man  who  dares  to  propose  to  the  daughter  of  a  chief 
and  cannot  pay  the  amount  is  liable  to  be  heavily  fined 
for  his  presumption  ! 

Occasionally  it  happens  that  a  chief's  daughter 
remains  in  single  blessedness  until  the  death  of  her 
father,  in  which  case  she  may  be  bought  "  for  an  old 
song,"  as  the  saying  is,  by  some  middle-aged  widower, 
or  an  impecunious  person  who  has  been  waiting  many 
years  for  a  partner. 

When  a  young  girl  is  betrothed,  and  her  future 
husband  has  paid  the  amount  in  full,  she  goes  and  lives 
with  his  mother  until  the  time  arrives  when  she  may 
become  his  wife.  Soon  after  the  purchase  has  been 
made  her  parents  give  a  feast  to  those  who  subscribed 
towards  the  tattooing  ;  this  is  followed  by  another  feast 
given  by  the  bridegroom's  parents,  and  there  are  no 
other  ceremonies,  either  at  betrothals  or  marriages. 

Somewhat  different  customs  prevail  in  one  of  the 
Solomon  Isles  known  as  Florida.  Here  the  usual 
tattooing  takes  place,  but  there  may  be  a  delay  of  several 


i6o  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

months,  or  even  years,  before  the  young  man's  father 

pays  down  the  full  amount  of  the  purchase-money.     In 

order  to  transact  this  business,  he  pays  a  visit  to  the 

girl's  home,  and  even  when  the  payment  has  been  made, 

and    the  visit    has  been    prolonged  for  two  days,    the 

parents    make    a    great    fuss    about    giving    up     their 

daughter,     interposing     many     imaginary     difficulties. 

When  at  last  the  time  of  parting  comes  they  demand 

further  payment.     This  is  called  "  the  money  to  break 

the  post  near  the  door  (used  to  take  hold  of  in  going 

in  and  out  of  the  house),  to  finish  her  going  in  and  out 

of  the  old  home."     This  payment  is  made  to  the  bride's 

female  relations,  who  take  her  by  the  hand  and  give  her 

up.     The  act  of  giving  away  the  bride  is  rather  curious  ; 

she  is  lifted  off  the  ground  and  carried  out  of  the  house 

on  the  back  of  one  of  the  women,  who  dehvers  her  to 

the  bridegroom's  father.     For  two  or  three  months  after 

this  the  bride  stays  in  her  father-in-law's  house,  until  the 

necessary   presents  of  pigs  and  food  arrive.     Not  till 

then    can   the  wedding    be  celebrated.      And   here  we 

meet  with  a  curious  custom,   rather  suggestive  of  the 

"  ransom  "  paid  in  the  Tyrol  and  elsewhere.     During 

the  morning  of  the  feast,  the  boys  of  the  village  harass 

the  bride's    relations  by  playfully  shooting    arrows    at 

them.     So  skilful  is  the  youths'  practice  that  they  can 

safely  send  arrows  whizzing   past  the  ears  of  a  guest, 

over  his  head,  between  his  legs,  or  even  through  his  hair ! 

These  delicate  attentions,  however,   become  a  positive 

nuisance  ;  and  after  many  forcible  expressions  of  disgust, 

the  men  gladly  purchase  immunity  by  paying  ransom. 


MELANESIA  i6i 

At  Saa,  in  the  large  neighbouring  island  of  Malanta, 
when  children  have  been  betrothed,  the  little  girl, 
bringing  food  with  her,  comes  on  a  visit  to  the  home 
of  her  future  father-in-law.  In  this  way  the  young 
people  get  to  know  each  other,  for  they  have  frequent 
opportunities  of  playing  and  conversing  together. 
From  time  to  time  the  visit  is  renewed,  and  at 
intervals  the  boy's  father  pays  part  of  the  pur- 
chase money,  porpoise  teeth  being  used  as  money. 
One  advantage  of  the  arrangement  is  that  when  the 
betrothed  girl  is  grown  up  and  her  wedding-day  has 
come,  she  shows  none  of  the  usual  reluctance,  either 
real  or  affected,  to  enter  the  bridegroom's  house,  or 
rather  that  of  his  father,  where  she  feels  already  quite 
at  home.  Hence  there  is  no  necessity  for  carrying  her 
away  or  lifting  her  over  the  doorstep. 

At  the  Santa  Cruz  islands,  also  known  as  Queen 
Charlotte  islands,  we  find  the  same  custom  of  infant 
betrothal.  The  father  seeks  a  bride  for  his  son  with- 
out telling  him.  Some  time  elapses  before  the  boy  is 
told  that  a  girl  is  engaged  for  him.  His  parents  do  not 
say  who  it  is,  but  only  warn  him  that  he  must  not  go  near 
a  certain  house — for  it  is  not  allowed  for  betrothed  ones 
to  meet.  This  is  equivalent  to  informing  him  that  his 
fiancee  lives  there.  Sometimes  youths  show  great  re- 
luctance to  marry  the  brides  thus  chosen  for  them. 

In  various  parts  of  Western  Melanesia  marriages  are 
performed  with  religious  ceremonies.  Thus  at  Dorey, 
on  Geelvink  Bay,  the  couple  join  hands  sitting  before 
an   ancestral   image,    and   eat   sago  together,   amid  the 

12 


i62  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

exhortations  and  congratulations  of  their  friends.  The 
wife  offers  her  partner  tobacco,  while  he  gives  her  betel 
nut.  They  must  sit  up  all  night  while  the  relations 
partake  of  a  solemn  meal. 

In  the  Northern  New  Hebrides  it  is  only  chiefs  or 
other  great  people  who  betroth  their  children  in  youth. 
As  in  Malanta  the  betrothed  child  lives  in  the  same 
house  with  her  future  husband,  who  very  often  is 
taught  to  regard  the  little  playmate  as  his  sister. 
Sometimes  the  boy,  on  growing  up  to  manhood's  estate, 
is  quite  shy  on  learning  the  relation  in  which  they 
stand.  Girls  assume  the  petticoat  when  they  arrive  at 
a  marriageable  age.  On  the  wedding-day  guests  arrive 
in  large  numbers  to  enjoy  the  good  things  provided  for 
them.  The  bridegroom  fixes  a  branch  of  a  tree,  or 
shrub,  in  the  ground,  and  brings  forward  his  gifts  of 
pigs,  food,  and  mats.  The  bride's  father,  or  some 
special  friend  of  the  family,  makes  a  speech — which 
is  unusual  for  these  parts — and  exhorts  the  bridegroom 
to  feed  his  wife  properly  and  to  treat  her  kindly. 
With  such  and  similar  admonitions  he  hands  over,  or 
"  gives  away,"  the  blushing  bride,  gaily  attired  and 
wearing  her  new  petticoat.  At  the  feast  which  follows 
the  bridegroom  is  saved  the  trying  ordeal  of  a  speech  ; 
he  merely  strokes  his  father-in-law  to  show  his  gratitude 
and  affection. 

This  is  followed  by  a  scene  such  as  might  be 
witnessed  at  an  Arab  wedding.  A  sham  fight  takes 
place,  in    which  it  sometimes    happens    that    men    are 


FIJI   ISLANDS  163 

wounded.  On  the  one  side  are  ranged  the  bride's 
kinsmen,  on  the  other  those  of  the  bridegroom. 
Should  a  brother  of  the  latter  be  injured,  "compensa- 
tion," in  the  form  of  a  present,  is  required.  When  the 
bride's  family  consider  they  have  made  enough  show 
of  resistance  to  prove  how  highly  they  value  their 
daughter's  services,  they  allow  her  to  be  taken  away. 
Accordingly  she  is  dragged  off  by  female  friends  to  the 
bridegroom's  house — sometimes  with  much  reluctance, 
even  to  tears.  It  sometimes  happens  that  a  bride  who 
is  unhappy  seeks  the  earliest  opportunity  of  running 
away  from  her  husband,  and  seeking  a  home  with  some 
man  she  likes  better.  In  such  cases,  if  her  parents  per- 
ceive that  nothing  will  induce  her  to  return  to  the 
injured  husband,  they  offer  him  a  pig,  as  solatium^  to 
soothe  his  wounded  feelings  ;  and  there  the  matter 
ends. 

In  the  Gilbert  Islands  a  man  can  demand  his  wife's 
sisters  in  marriage  ;  he  is  also  expected  to  take  his 
brother's  widows.  Widows  in  New  Ireland  and  New 
Britain  are  considered  to  belong  to  no  one  in  particular. 
But  if  a  widower  wishes  to  marry  again,  the  idea  is  at 
first  opposed  by  all  the  ladies  of  his  late  wife's  family  ; 
at  first  sportively,  by  using  every  possible  form  of 
annoyance  to  make  the  man  keep  at  a  distance,  and  then 
in  real  earnest  (if  he  carries  out  his  intention),  by 
destroying  his  house  and  all  his  goods  ! 

In   the   Fiji    Islands,  when   a  young   man    wishes  to 
marry  a  certain  girl,  he  must  obtain  her  father's  per- 


i64  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

mission.  This  having  been  granted,  he  makes  her  a 
small  present.  Shortly  after  he  sends  to  her  house 
some  food  prepared  by  himself;  this  is  the  ceremony 
known  as  "  Warming."  For  four  days  the  girl  enjoys 
a  brief  holiday,  sitting  at  home  arrayed  in  her  best,  and 
painted  with  turmeric  and  oil  ;  she  is  then  taken  to  the 
sea  by  some  married  women,  and  all  set  to  work  to 
catch  fish.  As  soon  as  the  cooking  of  what  they  have 
caught  is  finished  the  young  man  is  sent  for,  and  the 
betrothed  ones  take  a  meal  together.  Some  little  interval 
follows,  during  which  her  future  husband  is  busily 
occupied  in  building  the  new  home,  while  the  girl  is 
being  tattooed — a  painful  operation.  On  the  comple- 
tion of  the  house  a  great  feast  takes  place,  after  which 
the  bride  and  bridegroom  settle  down  to  married  life. 
On  her  departure  from  home  her  friends  and  relatives 
make  a  great  fuss,  all  showing  their  affection  by  kissing 
her. 

The  following  account  of  the  presentation  of  a  bride 
in  former  days  is  interesting. 

"  She  was  brought  in  at  the  principal  entrance  by  the 
king's  aunt  and  a  few  matrons,  and  then,  led  only  by 
the  aunt,  approached  the  king.  She  was  an  interesting 
girl  of  fifteen,  glistening  with  oil,  and  wearing  a  new 
liku  (waistband),  and  a  necklace  of  curved  ivory  points, 
radiating  from  her  neck  and  turning  upwards.  The 
king  received  from  his  aunt  the  girl,  with  two  whale's 
teeth  which  she  carried  in  her  hand.  When  she  was 
seated  at  his  feet  his  Majesty  repeated  a  list  of  their 
gods,  and  finished  by  praying  that  the  girl   might  live 


FIJI   ISLANDS  165 

and  bring  forth  male  children.  To  her  friends,  two 
men  who  had  come  in  at  the  back  door,  he  gave  a 
musket,  begging  them  not  to  think  hardly  of  his  having 
taken  their  child,  as  the  step  was  connected  with  the 
good  of  the  land,  in  which  their  interests,  as  well  as  his 
own,  were  involved.  The  musket,  which  was  equiva- 
lent to  the  necklace,  the  men  received  with  bent  heads, 
muttering  a  short  prayer.  Tuikilakila  then  took  off 
the  girl's  necklace  and  kissed  her.  The  gayest  moment 
of  her  life,  as  far  as  dress  was  concerned,  was  past  ;  and 
I  felt  that  the  untying  of  that  polished  ornament  from 
her  neck  was  the  first  downward  step  to  a  dreary 
future.  Perhaps  her  forebodings  were  like  mine,  for 
she  wept,  and  the  tears  which  glanced  off  her  bosom  and 
rested  in  distinct  drops  on  her  oily  legs  were  seen  by 
the  king,  who  said,  '  Do  not  weep.  Are  you  going  to 
leave  your  own  land  ?  You  are  but  going  a  voyage 
soon  to  return.  Do  not  think  it  a  hardship  to  go  to 
Mbau.  Here  you  will  have  to  work  hard  ;  there  you 
will  rest.  Here  you  fare  indifferently  ;  there  you  will 
eat  the  best  of  food.  Only  do  not  weep  to  spoil  your- 
self !  '  As  he  thus  spoke  he  played  with  her  curly 
locks,  complimenting  her  on  her  face  and  figure.  She 
reminded  him  of  a  sister  of  hers  who  had  been  taken  to 
Mbau  in  years  past." 

The  daughter  of  a  chief  is  usually  betrothed  early  in 
life.  Should  her  intended  husband  refuse  to  carry  out 
the  contract,  it  is  considered  a  great  insult,  and  becomes 
the  cause  of  a  serious  quarrel,  sometimes  leading  to 
blows.      Should  the  young  man  die   before   the  girl  is 


i66  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

grown  up  {which  is  not  unhkely,  for  he  may  fall  in 
battle),  then  his  next  brother  takes  his  place,  and  the 
child  is  betrothed  to  him. 

Among  chiefs  and  their  families,  or,  as  we  should  say, 
in  "  high  life,"  marriages  are  often  the  result  of  mutual 
attachment,  being  preceded  by  courtships  and  the 
exchange  of  presents.  Young  people  may  even  be 
seen  "  walking  out  "  arm-in-arm,  as  in  England.  But 
freedom  of  choice  is  not  always  allowed,  even  to  a 
chief's  daughter.  A  forced  alliance  sometimes  leads  to 
suicide.  Some  American  travellers,  a  good  many  years 
ago,  were  told  the  story  of  the  daughter  of  the  chief  of 
Ovolan,  who  jumped  over  a  precipice  because  she  had 
been  married  against  her  will.  But  among  the  lower 
classes  of  natives  we  find  no  such  scruples.  The  usual 
price  of  a  bride  is  a  whale's  tooth  or  a  musket,  and 
when  this  has  once  been  paid  she  becomes  the  absolute 
property  of  her  husband,  and  her  life  is  in  his  hands. 
Until  purchased,  young  women  nominally  belong  to 
the  chief,  who  may  dispose  of  them  as  he  thinks  best. 
Elopements  are  not  unknown.  As  in  some  other 
countries,  when  two  young  people  have  made  up  their 
minds  to  marry,  and  from  difference  of  rank  or  other 
cause  are  forbidden  to  do  so,  they  seek  refuge  in  flight. 
Some  neighbouring  chief  of  a  kindly  disposition  takes 
pity  on  them,  and  uses  his  best  endeavours  to  effect  a 
reconcihation  with  the  parents. 

In  the  Samoa,  or  Navigator  Islands,  now  famous  as  the 
abode  of  the  late  Mr.  Robert  Louis  Stevenson,  marriage 


SAMOA  167 

transactions  may  be  said  to  be  merely  speculations  in 
fine  mats,  of  which  a  bride's  dowry  consists.  These 
are  handed  over  to  the  husband's  principal  friend  and 
supporter  ("  best  man  "),  who  arranges  the  match  and 
provides  the  feast.  Widows  follow  the  law  of  the 
Levirate,  and  marry  the  husband's  next  brother.  Each 
bride  brings  with  her  one  or  two  handmaids,  who  may 
become  secondary  wives. 

A  young  man  must  be  tattooed  before  he  can  marry. 
Having  made  his  choice  from  among  the  girls  of  the 
island,  he  sends  his  "  best  man  "  to  negotiate  and  make 
all  the  arrangements.  The  young  woman  usually  has 
no  choice,  but  is  obliged  to  submit  to  the  decision  of 
her  parents.  They,  on  their  part,  must  obtain  the 
chiefs  consent.  For  a  long  time  before  the  wedding 
takes  place  all  the  bride's  relations  help  in  getting  in 
her  dowry  of  fine  mats  and  native  cloths.  The  family 
of  the  bridegroom  are  likewise  actively  engaged  in 
collecting  property  for  him,  such  as  cloth,  pigs,  canoes, 
&c.  When  the  contracting  parties  are  of  high  rank, 
the  ceremony  takes  place  in  an  open  place  of  public 
assembly,  surrounded  by  bread-fruit  trees.  Here  the 
guests  seat  themselves  in  a  circle  cross-legged,  glisten- 
ing with  oil  and  bedecked  with  plenty  of  beads  and 
flowers.  At  first  the  bride  remains  seated  in  a  house 
somewhere  near,  from  which  extends  a  carpet  of  native 
cloth  reaching  to  the  place  of  assembly.  There  the 
expectant  bridegroom  is  seated  at  the  further  end  of  the 
long  carpet.  And  now,  all  being  ready,  the  bride 
comes   forth.     Needless  to  say,  she  is  gaily  bedecked 


i68  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

with  beads,  flowers,  and  shells,  and  also  girt  round  the 
waist  with  fine  mats,  some  of  which  form  a  flowing 
train  behind.  Her  maidens  follow,  all  bearing  mats. 
These  they  spread  out  before  the  bridegroom,  and 
return  to  the  house  for  more.  This  is  repeated  a  good 
many  times,  until,  in  some  cases,  the  number  reaches 
two  or  three  hundred.  All  these  constitute  the  dowry 
collected  by  her  relations.  The  bride  takes  her  seat  by 
the  side  of  the  bridegroom,  and  presently  stands  up  to 
receive  the  applause  of  her  assembled  guests.  It  is  now 
time  for  the  husband  to  show  his  wealth,  which  he  does 
with  considerable  display.  The  disposal  of  all  these 
worldly  goods  is  arranged  by  the  parents  (or  brothers) 
on  both  sides. 

It  was  stated  above  that  Samoan  girls  usually  are 
compelled  to  submit  to  the  arrangements  made  by  their 
parents,  but  elopements  are  not  altogether  unknown. 
If  the  young  man  whose  off'er  was  refused  by  the  parents 
should  be  a  chief,  his  companions  (in  order  to  show  their 
resentment  as  well  as  his)  gather  together  in  the  evening, 
and  walk  through  the  settlement  singing  his  praises  and 
coupling  his  name  with  that  of  the  young  woman  who 
ran  away  with  him.  Should  the  course  of  their  love 
run  smooth,  the  chances  are  that  a  reconciliation  will  take 
place  with  the  parents  sooner  or  later,  and  then  the  event 
is  celebrated  by  feasting  and  exchange  of  presents. 

The  people  who  inhabit  the  Hervey  or  Cook  Islands 
(between  Samoa  and  the  Society  Islands)  have  a  remark- 
able custom.    Here  they  are  not  content  with  mats  where- 


HERVEY   ISLANDS  169 

with  to  make  a  pathway  for  the  bride  to  walk  along. 
But  should  she  be  the  eldest  girl,  the  members  of  her 
husband's  tribe  lie  down  flat  on  the  ground,  while  she 
walks  lightly  over  on  their  backs.  This  "  street  of 
human  bodies,"  called  in  the  native  tongue  ara  tangata^ 
extends  from  the  bride's  house  to  that  of  the  bride- 
groom ;  and  should  the  distance  be  so  great  that 
enough  people  cannot  be  found  to  make  the  pathway, 
then  those  on  whom  the  bride  has  already  stepped  get 
up  and  quickly  run  on  ahead,  so  as  to  lie  down  again 
and  fill  up  the  rest  of  the  path.  A  curious  custom 
certainly,  but  one  may  perhaps  safely  argue  thereupon 
that  women  (and  especially  brides)  are  held  in  greater 
honour  than  in  many  other  parts  of  the  world,  such  as 
China.  This  ceremony  takes  place  a  few  days  after  the 
wedding.  The  husband,  on  the  day  of  his  marriage, 
goes  through  a  similar  ceremony,  walking  on  the  backs 
of  the  people  of  the  tribe  to  which  his  wife  belongs. 
On  that  occasion  the  bridegroom's  friends  walk  on  each 
side  of  the  human  pathway,  clapping  their  hands,  and 
singing  songs  in  his  praise,  not  omitting  to  mention  his 
ancestors. 

Marriage  customs  in  these  islands  may  also  be 
illustrated  by  the  following  story,  which  a  traveller 
heard  from  the  natives.  There  was  war  between 
certain  tribes,  and  Uriitepitokura,  one  of  the  defeated 
tribesmen,  remained  in  hiding.  This  enterprising 
young  man  occupied  his  time  in  making  fish  nets 
and  valuable  dresses,  the  latter  being  composed  chiefly 
of    the    feathers     of    birds     which     he     contrived     to 


lyo  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

catch.  There  was  a  pathway  running  down  to  the  sea, 
and  looking  through  a  little  hole  in  the  rock  he  could 
see  the  people  going  down  to  the  shore.  In  this  way 
he  one  day  saw  a  young  woman  of  some  rank  who  had 
escaped  the  watchful  eye  of  her  grandmother.  Akama- 
rama  was  her  name,  and  to  her  he  made  himself  known, 
entreating  the  damsel  to  afford  him  her  protection  and 
to  become  in  time  his  wife.  Of  course  he  did  not  for- 
get to  mention  those  treasures  which  he  had  so  skilfully 
made  with  his  own  hands.  He  was  handsome  and 
young,  but  that  alone  would  not  have  enabled  him  to 
win  the  fair  one's  hand  and  heart.  The  nets  and 
dresses  were  the  chief  cause  of  his  conquest.  She  hence- 
forth rejected  all  offers  of  marriage,  and  refused  to 
undergo  the  fattening  process  which  is  customary  in 
those  islands.  Her  parents,  suspecting  some  previous 
attachment,  inquired  of  her  if  there  were  any  man 
whom  she  would  be  inclined  to  marry,  whereupon  she 
revealed  her  secret.  Next  day  they  arranged  matters 
with  the  young  man,  who  bestowed  his  feather  gar- 
ments and  nets  on  the  father  and  uncle  of  the  bride, 
and  some  more  nets  on  the  chief,  so  as  to  ensure  his 
protection.  On  the  wedding-day  Akamarama  wore  a 
splendid  head-dress  of  feathers  made  by  the  bride- 
groom, and  sat  by  her  husband  on  a  white  cloth  to 
receive  the  presents  of  their  relations.  They  then  par- 
took of  food  together,  and  entered  forthwith  into  the 
married  state. 

In  Tahiti  and  others  of  the  small  Polynesian  Islands 


TAHITI  171 

wives  do  not  appear  to  be  purchased.  That  is  one 
way  in  which  their  marriage  customs  differ  ;  but  here 
is  another,  and  a  curious  one  too.  The  young  girl 
who  has  been  betrothed,  as  she  grows  up  is  zealously 
guarded  from  contact  wi-th  the  outer  world,  and 
this  is  effected  by  keeping  her  railed  up  on  a  high 
platform  in  the  home.  Food  is  brought,  and  nearly 
everything  is  done  for  her.  Only  very  occasionally 
is  she  allowed  to  go  out,  and  then  she  must  be  accom- 
panied by  one  of  her  parents. 

On  the  wedding-day  an  altar  is  set  up  in  the  house, 
on  which  are  displayed  the  relics  of  her  ancestors — 
their  weapons,  skulls,  and  bones.  The  presents  she 
receives  are  usually  pieces  of  white  cloth.  If  bride  and 
bridegroom  are  related  to  the  reigning  family,  the 
party  repair  to  the  temple  of  two  chief  idols  of  the 
country  in  order  to  procure  their  blessings.  If  not 
so  related,  prayers  can  be  offered  up  at  home.  In  the 
former  case  bride  and  bridegroom  put  on  wedding 
garments,  which  become  sacred  ever  after,  and  when 
they  have  taken  places  assigned  to  them  the  bride- 
groom is  asked  the  following  question — "  Wilt  thou 
cast  away  thy  wife  ^  "  The  bride  is  addressed  in  a 
similar  manner,  and  both  answer  "  No."  They 
receive  a  blessing,  and  prayers  are  offered  up  for  them. 
Then  the  relatives  spread  out  a  piece  of  white  cloth 
on  the  floor  ;  the  bride  and  bridegroom  step  on  to  it, 
and  take  each  other  by  the  hand.  Sometimes  the 
skulls  of  ancestors  are  here  brought  out,  no  doubt  in 
order  to  represent  their  spirits,  with  the  idea  that  they 


172  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

may  take  part  in  such  an  important  affair  of  the 
fimily.  This  reminds  us  of  the  Chinese  custom  of 
informing  the  ancestors  and  worshipping  their  tablets. 
The  bride's  relatives  then  take  a  piece  of  sugar-cane, 
wrap  it  up  in  the  branch  of  a  certain  sacred  tree, 
and  place  it  on  the  head  of  the  bridegroom,  and  then 
lay  it  down  between  the  now  wedded  pair  who  are 
still  holding  each  other  by  the  hand.  The  relatives 
on  both  sides  consider  that  the  two  families  are  now 
for  ever  united.  Finally,  another  cloth  is  produced 
and  thrown  over  bride  and  bridegroom  by  the  relatives. 
This  cloth,  as  well  as  the  wedding  garments,  is  con- 
sidered sacred.  The  day  ends  in  much  feasting.  A 
good  deal  of  dancing  takes  place  on  the  day  before 
the  wedding. 

Mr.  William  EUis,  a  missionary,  who  wrote  on 
Polynesia, I  describes  the  arrangements  made  for  a 
marriage  in  the  island  of  Huahine,  one  of  the  Society 
Isles,  where  he  was  stationed  at  the  time,  in  the  year 
1822.  The  bridegroom  was  Pomare,  the  young  chief 
of  Tahaa,  and  the  bride  was  Amiata,  the  only  daughter 
of  the  late  king  of  Tahiti,  not  far  off.  They  met  at 
Huahine,  which  was  midway  between  the  islands  to 
which  the  respective  families  belonged.  More  than 
a  week  before  his  intended  bride  arrived  from  Tahiti, 
Pomare  sailed  from  Tahaa  and  landed  in  Huahine, 
where  he  was  entertained  with  due  regard  to  his 
rank  by  the  chiefs  of  the  island.  It  was  not,  however, 
'  "Polynesian  Researches,"  4  vols.,  1831. 


SOCIETY   ISLES  173 

supposed  at  the  time  that  his  consort  would  become 
queen  of  Tahiti,  because  her  brother  was  then  living, 
and  Amiata  arrived  on  a  brig  belonging  to  the  king, 
and  was  introduced  to  her  future  husband,  who  wore 
an  English  beaver  hat,  but  otherwise  was  dressed 
in  full  native  costume.  He  took  his  seat  and  awaited 
with  gravity  the  appearance  of  Amiata.  Presently  she 
and  her  friends  arrived  and  took  their  seats  near  the 
young  chief.  But  Pomare  continued  motionless, 
neither  rising  to  welcome  his  guests  nor  taking  ofF 
his  hat.  The  princess,  who  sat  by  the  side  of  her 
mother,  occasionally  glanced  at  her  future  husband, 
who  sat   like   a   statue    before   her. 

The  interview  was  a  singular  one,  considering  that 
the  two  had  never  met  before.  Not  a  single  word 
was  exchanged  between  them.  After  about  twenty 
minutes  the  queen  and  her  daughter  and  companions 
rose  and  went  off  to  the  house  prepared  for  them, 
while  Pomare  and  his  friends  returned  to  their  en- 
campment. Shortly  after  this  meeting  they  were 
publicly  married  with  Christian  rites  and  afterwards 
removed  to  Tahiti.  The  bride  was  sixteen  years 
of  age,   and   her  husband   not   much   older. 

Occasionally  real  courtship  takes  place,  and  there  are 
instances  of  brides  being  only  won  after  a  great  deal 
of  wooing.  There  was  a  case  of  this  in  the  same  island, 
according  to  Mr.  Ellis.  It  was  a  young  chief,  tall 
and  powerfully  built,  with  pleasant  manners,  who  fell 
in  love  with  the  niece  of  another  chief,  and  tendered 
proposals  of  marriage.      Her  family  had  no  objection, 


174  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

but  the  young  lady  refused  to  accept  his  oft-repeated 
offers,  although  no  means  to  gain  her  consent  were 
left  untried.  The  unhappy  young  man  gave  up  his 
ordinary  occupations  and  took  up  his  abode  in  the 
house  where  the  object  of  his  affections  lived,  in  order 
to  devote  himself  to  her  constant  service,  which  he 
did  with  great  zeal,  although  subject  to  the  deepest 
melancholy.  Kind  friends  interested  themselves  on 
his  behalf,  and  his  sad  fate  became  for  a  time  the  topic 
of  general  conversation.  But  in  time  the  fair  one  re- 
lented, the  two  were  married  and  lived  together  very 
happily. 

After  this  a  case  of  the  opposite  kind  occurred.  A 
party  of  five  or  six  men  arrived  at  the  island  of  Huahine 
in  a  canoe  from  Tahiti,  and  remained  there  some  time, 
the  guests  of  a  certain  chief.  A  good-looking  girl,  one 
of  the  belles  of  the  island,  who  belonged  to  the  house 
where  the  men  were  being  entertained,  fell  deeply  in  love 
with  one  of  them.  It  was  soon  intimated  to  him  that 
she  would  have  no  objection  to  becoming  his  wife  ; 
but,  alas  !  there  was  no  love  on  his  side,  although  the 
unhappy  girl  endeavoured  in  every  possible  way  to 
obtain  his  affection.  She  followed  him  about  every- 
where. Things  went  on  like  this  for  some  time,  until 
the  enamoured  one,  becoming  very  unhappy,  declared 
that,  if  he  continued  indifferent  to  her,  she  would 
either  strangle  or  drown  herself.  In  the  end,  however, 
the  young  man  relented,  and  married  her.  In  this 
case  the  marriage  proved  an  unhappy  one,  for  the  wife 
before  long  took  a  violent  dislike  to  her  husband. 


CHAPTER  XII 

Greece 

FROM   the   ancient   civilisations  of  the   East,  and 
from  the  customs   of  primitive   races,  we  now 
turn  to  modern  Europe. 

The  unfortunate  Greeks  having  so  Jong  been  under 
the  yoke  of  Turkey  it  is  not  surprising  to  find  that 
some  of  their  marriage  customs  resemble  those  of  the 
Turks.  But  the  reader  who  follows  this  account  will 
very  soon  perceive  other  ceremonies  similar  to  those 
observed  in  China,  India,  Russia,  and  among  the 
gypsies  ;  while  here  and  there  we  shall  note  some 
relics  of  classical  times.  Hence  the  marriage  rites  of 
these  people — to  whom  England  has  always  been 
friendly — possess  more  than  ordinary  interest. 

Parents  in  seeking  husbands  for  their  daughters 
require  the  aid  of  a  professional  match-maker. 
When  the  amount  of  the  dowry  has  been  satis- 
factorily arranged,  the  first  betrothal  takes  place  (an 
exchange  of  rings,  called  arravon)  and  the  future 
husband  declares  in  the  presence  of  witnesses  that  he 
is  satisfied  with  the  amount.  Notice  that  this  is  a 
reversal  of  the  custom  of  Hindoos  and  other  peoples 

who  demand  a  sum  of  money  from  the  suitor. 

175 


176  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

He  may  now  visit  the  girl  at  her  home.  Friends 
call  to  offer  their  good  wishes,  and  are  received  by 
the  bride-elect  standing  with  much  affected  humility 
and  downcast  eyes.  Hence  the  Greek  saying,  "  As 
affected  as  a  bride."  As  in  Turkey,  so  here,  the 
girl  kisses  the  hands  of  the  friends  of  her  future 
lord.  They  present  her  with  sweet  basil  and  gold 
coins. 

Marriages  take  place  at  all  seasons,  except  in  the 
month  of  May  ;  as  a  rule  late  in  the  autumn 
after  the  olives  have  been  gathered  in.  The  day 
is  usually  a  Sunday,  and  by  preference  the  next  one 
after  the  full  moon.  There  is  considerable  variety 
in  the  customs  observed  in  rural  districts,  and  even 
in  the  larger  towns.  Weddings  are  attended  with 
a  good  deal  of  ceremonial.  The  marriage  takes  place 
some  time  after  the  betrothal,  and  the  interval  may 
be  a  long  or  short  one. 

We  will  first  take  Southern  Macedonia,  where  the 
customs  are  especially  interesting.  For  instance  at 
Vodhena,  the  ancient  Macedonian  capital  Edessa, 
the  festivities  last  a  week.  On  the  Sunday  a  copy 
of  the  marriage  contract  it  sent  to  the  bridegroom, 
who  in  return  sends  his  fiancee  a  few  trifling 
presents,  such  as  sweetmeats,  henna,  rouge,  &c.,  and  a 
jar  of  wine  for  her  parents. 

During  the  next  four  days,  i.e.  from  Monday  to 
Thursday,  the  ceremonies  observed  are  all  connected 
with  the  wedding  cake  and  unlike  anything  to  be 
met    with    in    those    countries    of   which,    so    far,    we 


GREECE  177 

have  spoken.  On  the  Monday  and  Tuesday  the 
grahi  for  the  cake  is  sifted  and  carried  to 
the  mill  by  the  bride  and  her  girl  companions. 
On  Wednesday  they  bring  it  home,  and  the  friends 
come  to  the  house  to  help  to  knead  the  dough. 
The  kneading  is  done  in  a  trough  at  one  end  of 
which  sits  a  boy  girt  with  a  sword,  while  at  the 
other  end  a  little  girl  pretends  to  help,  but  in 
reality  is  endeavouring  to  avoid  being  seen  while 
she  hides  in  the  dough  some  coins  and  the  wedding 
ring.  No  children  who  have  lost  any  relatives  may 
perform  the  ceremony,  otherwise  it  would  be  a  bad 
omen.  It  is  easy  to  see  the  drift  of  this  symbolism. 
The  boy  with  the  sword  stands  for  the  husband, 
whose  duty  is  to  guard  and  defend  ;  the  little  girl 
is  a  reminder  of  a  wife's  domestic  cares.  The  cake 
is  made,  and  on  the  Thursday  portions  of  the 
dough  are  given  to  the  company.  Of  course  each 
one  hopes  to  find  the  wedding  ring,  just  as  English 
children  still  expect  to  find  one  in  a  birthday  cake. 
The  lucky  one  who  gets  the  ring  surrenders  it  to 
the  bridegroom  in  exchange  for  a  present.  In  the 
afternoon  of  the  same  day  the  wedding  cake  is  placed 
over  a  bowl  of  water,  and  the  youths  and  maidens 
dance  three  times  round  it  singing  "  the  song  of  the 
wedding  cake."  After  this  they  break  up  the  cake 
and  throw  the  pieces  over  the  happy  pair,  together 
with  figs  and  fruit — emblems  of  plenty  and  fruitful- 
ness. 

On   the   next   day   (Friday)   the    presents    given    by 

^3 


178  MARR1A(]K    CUSTOMS 

the  iiK'ii  arc  can-'icj  in  jiroccssion  throiinh  the 
streets,  as  111  China.  They  aw  mostly  articles  such 
as  a  youiin-  couple  staftiiiu;  in  hte  vvouKl  rec|uire. 
On  the  SaturJay  (.•\cninn;  (the  Jay  before  the  wedding) 
a  feast  is  held,  and  on  this  day  the  hi-ide  is  }'>re- 
pared  lor  the  inon-ow  hy  her  maidens  (as  m  rurkey 
and  elsew  hei'e),  who  sing  to  her  while  attending  to 
hci-  toilet, 

•At  all  (ireek  weddings  an  mipoi-tant  part  is  jilayed 
l\V  the  kon))ib('ir()S,  as  he  is  called,  an  inHuential 
fnend  oi"  relative,  who,  among  the  poorer  jU'ople, 
pro\ides  the  entei-tamment,  and  is  saddled  wuh  a 
numher  of  other  responsibilities  shouKl  the  wife  and 
childien  be  lelt  destitute.  'I'he  same  name  is  applietl 
to  godlathei-s  b\'  theii"  godchilili-en,  and  reciprocally 
to  the  godcluldien  b\'  godfathers,  and  is  intended  to 
apj^ly  to  all  the  membei-s  of  families  between  which 
such  a  tie  exists.  Thus  an  important  relationship  is 
created,  and  one  which  is  most  solemnl\'  rcgartlcd,  so 
that  a  man  of  influence  ma\-  be  a  kind  of  protector 
and  counsellor  to  all  the  \(»ung  jU'ople  of  the  country 
side.  The  head  bridesmaid  too  pla\s  her  part  as  a 
kind  of  godmother,  ami  is  called  koHnihayd. 

Now  Sunda\'  has  come,  and  the  actual  wedtling 
cei-eniomes  begin.  birst  of  all  the  bridegroom  and  his 
friends  lea\'e  the  house  ;  as  he  departs  his  mother 
pours  water  out  of  a  jar  before  him,  and  la\s  down  a 
girdle  m  his  path,  o\e!-  which  he  steps.  A  procession 
stai-ts  from  the  house  of  the  koumhiiros^  and  from 
there   go   to   the    bridle's    lu)use,   his    frieiuls    singing    as 


GREECE  179 

they    walk    along.      Arrived    there   the    priest    receives 
them,  and  presents  the  marriage  contract  to  the  parents 
of  the  two  parties,  after  which  the  second  exchange  of 
rings   takes    phice.     Sweet    basil    is    presented    by  the 
bride's  father  to  the  fither,  or  nearest  relative  of  the 
bridegroom,  on  a  plate,  with  these  words  thrice  repeated, 
"Accept  the  betrothal  of  my  daughter  to  your  son," 
and  a  similar  ceremony  is  performed  on  behalf  of  the 
bridegroom,  in  accordance  with  the  custom  in  ancient 
Greece  (compare  the  Brahmin  custom,   p.    2).     Then 
a    glass    of   wine,    a    ring-shaped    cake,  and    a   spoon, 
are    given    to    the     bridegroom,     who,    after    he    has 
drunk  the  wine,  drops  coins  into  the  glass,  and  gives 
the    spoon,   together   with    half  the   cake,    to  the   best 
man,   who  keeps  them,   but  gives  the   half   cake  next 
morning   to   the   bride.      The    bride's  shoes,  given  by 
the    bridegroom,    are    put    on    her    feet    by   the    best 
man,    and    as    she    leaves    the    threshold,    her    mother 
pours   out   a    libation    of  water    for   her    to   step    over 
(which     custom     may    perhaps     be     another     form    of 
the  Arab  sacrifice  of    a  sheep  and  the  bride  stepping 
over   its   blood    before   entering   her  new  home).      At 
the  church  door  the  mother  says  three  times,  "  Bride, 
hast  thou  thy  shoes  ^  "     On  entering  the  church    the 
bridal    pair    proceed   to    the   altar    carrying    decorated 
tapers.     (In  many  parts  of  Greece   a   priest   performs 
the  ceremony  at  the  bride's  house.)     Then  takes  place 
the  third  exchange  of  rings,  or  third  arravon^  presided 
over  by  the  priest,  who  reads  a  portion   of  the  ritual, 
then  makes  the  sign  of  the  cross  with  the  rings,  three 


i8o  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

times  over  the  heads  of  the  bride  and  bridegroom  and 
places  them  on  their  hands,  saying,  "  Give  thy  troth, 
servant  of  God  (adding  the  man's  name)  to  the  servant 
of  God  (adding  the  woman's  name)  in  the  name  of  the 
Father,  the  Son,  and  the  Holy  Ghost."  They  are 
then  formally  betrothed  :  the  actual  marriage  ceremony 
is  as  follows  : — Both  bride  and  bridegroom  are  crowned 
with  wreaths  of  flowers  (orange  blossom)  by  the  priest, 
who  places  them  on  their  heads  with  these  words, 
"  Crown  thyself,  servant  of  God  (name)  in  the  name 
of  the  Father,  the  Son,  and  the  Holy  Ghost."  Three 
times  the  sentence  is  repeated  while  the  best  man 
changes  the  crowns  three  times.  After  bridegroom 
and  best  man  have  drunk  the  consecrated  wine,  the 
pair  are  led  three  times  round  the  altar,  the  best  man 
following.  The  priest  removes  the  crowns  and  gives 
his  blessing.  The  pair  are  now  duly  married.  Kissing 
and  congratulations  follow,  the  best  man  having  the 
bride's  first  kiss.  On  arrival  at  the  bride's  house  her 
mother  welcomes  them  both,  placing  a  loaf  of  bread 
on  their  heads,  while  the  rest  of  the  company  throw 
sweets  at  them.  Then  the  feasting  begins,  and  healths 
are  drunk,  the  glasses  being  thrown  over  the  left 
shoulder  ;  and  it  is  unlucky  if  they  remain  unbroken. 
The  bride  on  quitting  her  home  takes  away  with  her 
half  a  loaf,  the  other  half  being  kept  by  the  parents. 
Then  the  party  adjourn  to  the  village  green,  where  there 
is  much  dancing  and  music.  They  have,  of  course,  no 
honeymoon,  and  the  pair  presently  leave  for  the  hus- 
band's home.      Next   day  that  important  person,   the 


GREECE  i8i 

best  man,  appears  again,  bringing  with  him  the  half 
cake  and  the  spoon,  delivered  into  his  care  on  the 
previous  day.  The  bride  eats  the  cake  and  then  takes 
the  first  mouthful  of  food  with  the  spoon.  After 
breakfast  she  and  her  friends  pay  a  visit  to  the  well, 
in  order  to  observe  a  custom  that  prevailed  with  the 
ancient  Greeks,  the  object  of  which  is  to  propitiate  the 
Water-deity,  the  "  Naiad  of  the  Spring."  A  coin  is 
dropped  into  the  well  from  the  lips  of  the  bride,  who 
then  draws  water  and  fills  her  pitcher.  On  arriving 
at  the  home  she  pours  some  of  this  water  over  her 
husband's  hands,  and  he  gives  a  small  present  in  return. 
The  rest  of  the  day  is  spent  in  feasting  and  dancing. 
After  a  few  days  the  newly-married  pair  return  to  the 
house  of  the  bride's  father,  where  they  remain  for  a 
whole  day  and  night  ;  and  the  visit  is  repeated  a  few 
days  later.  Judging  from  a  somewhat  similar  custom 
in  parts  of  India,  we  should  say  the  object  of  the  visits 
is  to  show  that  there  is  no  ill-feeling,  as  there  might 
have  been  in  earlier  days  when  brides  were  captured. 
And  speaking  of  capture,  it  may  be  mentioned  here  that 
among  shepherds  in  the  mountainous  parts  of  Greece, 
there  still  remains  a  survival  of  that  ancient  way  of 
marriage.  A  large  armed  party  come  to  fetch  the  bride  ; 
her  friends  pretend  resistance,  and  a  mock  combat  takes 
place,  as  with  Arabs,  Druses,  Turcomans,  and  others. 
The  bride,  who  knows  her  own  mind,  allows  herself  to 
be  carried  off  by  the  friends  of  the  bridegroom, 
whence  the  Greek  proverb,  "  Drive  on,  and  never 
mind  my  tears." 


i82  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

Greek  parents  are  very  anxious  to  see  their  daughters 
married.  The  girls  all  work  at  the  loom  and  spinning- 
wheel,  and  help  to  make  a  trousseau  for  their  eldest 
sister,  who  is  a  favoured  person,  and  inherits  the 
family  dwelling.  She  does  not,  however,  take  all  their 
work,  but  from  each  piece  of  finished  stuff  reserves 
some  lengths  for  the  younger  ones.  On  the  father's 
death  the  brothers,  or  eldest  male  relatives,  are  expected 
to  support  the  daughters  and  provide  the  dowry  when 
one  of  them  marries.  Nor  may  the  brothers  marry 
until  their  sisters  are  provided  for.  This  custom  is  said 
to  have  begun  after  the  conquest  of  Mytilene  by  the 
Turks,  when  nearly  all  the  men  were  slain,  and  hus- 
bands consequently  very  scarce. 

Some  of  the  curious  local  customs  of  this  country 
may  now  claim  our  attention.  The  peasants,  instead  of 
throwing  sweetmeats  at  the  newly-married  pair,  smear 
the  lintel  of  a  bride's  door  with  honey.  In  Northern 
Greece,  and  in  Epirus,  an  engaged  couple  must  not  be 
seen  together  until  after  the  betrothal.  On  this  occa- 
sion t.\\Q  fiancee  is  introduced  to  her  future  husband  at 
the  priest's  house,  veiled,  and  attended  by  her  parents. 
The  priest,  after  giving  his  blessing,  bids  them  not  to 
meet  again  or  converse  until  the  wedding-day.  On 
that  day  the  bride  takes  leave  of  her  parents  and  starts 
on  foot,  or  on  horseback,  or  on  a  mule,  for  the  house  of 
the  bridegroom.  After  two  or  three  days  they  are 
both  led  to  the  village  fountain,  where  the  bride  throws 
sweatmeats  (not  a  coin)  into  the  water,  and  fills  a  new 
jar.      In  the  district  of  Mount  Pelion,   the  loaves  for 


GREECE  183 

the  wedding  are  publicly  kneaded  on  the  Thursday  (the 
wedding  being  on  a  Sunday,  as  before).  A  young  man 
chosen  from  among  the  bridegroom's  friends  does  the 
kneading,  while  the  others  stand  round  and  throw 
money  into  the  trough. 

In  the  Morea,  the  mother  of  the  bridegroom,  stand- 
ing at  the  door  of  the  house,  gives  the  bride  a  glass  of 
honey  and  water  to  drink,  in  the  hope  that  "  her  lips 
may  become  as  sweet  as  honey,"  and  the  lintel  of  the 
door  is  smeared  with  what  remains,  "  that  strife  may 
never  enter  in."  One  of  the  company  breaks  a  pome- 
granate on  the  threshold.  Solon,  in  his  laws,  prescribed 
that  the  newly-married  couple  should  eat  a  quince 
together,  so  that  their  converse  might  for  ever  be  sweet. 
In  Rhodes  we  find  the  same  idea,  only  with  a  somewhat 
different  ceremony.  There  the  husband  (after  the 
wedding)  dips  his  fingers  in  a  cup  of  honey  and  traces 
a  cross  over  the  door,  while  the  friends  cry  out,  "  Be 
good  and  sweet  as  this  honey  is,"  a  piece  of  advice 
apparently  intended  only  for  the  wife.  The  husband 
then  crushes  a  pomegranate  with  his  foot  as  he  passes 
the  threshold,  and  the  guests  throw  corn,  cotton  seeds 
and  orange-flower  water  on  the  bride,  just  as  we  in 
England  throw  rice. 

In  Cyprus  the  village  girls  and  women  assemble  at 
the  riverside  some  days  before  the  wedding  to  wash  the 
fabric  of  the  bed.  The  filling  up  of  the  mattress  is 
also  done  in  public,  and  friends  put  in  pieces  of  money, 
which  remain  there  until  the  end  of  the  first  year,  when 
the  money  may  be  taken  out  and  spent.     In  some  parts 


1 84  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

of  China  a  somewhat  similar  custom  prevails.  Here 
in  Cyprus,  if  the  bridegroom  hails  from  a  distant 
village,  he  arrives  on  horseback.  The  young  men  meet 
him  and  endeavour  to  dismount  .him,  while  his  friends 
come  to  the  rescue  to  prevent  this,  and  it  is  considered 
a  triumph  if  he  manages  to  ride  all  the  way  to  his 
bride's  house.  Should  the  young  men  succeed  in  their 
object,  the  friends  of  the  bridegroom  must  make  a 
chair  for  him  with  their  hands.  Then  follows  a  sacri- 
fice, reminding  us  of  Arab  customs  ;  a  fowl  is  held  up, 
which  the  bridegroom  kills  by  cutting  off  its  head  with 
an  axe  before  entering  the  house. 

The  Albanians  of  the  Orthodox  creed  have  a  curious 
custom  connected  with  the  kneading  of  the  dough. 
One  of  the  girls  of  the  village  is  allowed  to  put  on 
clothes  belonging  to  the  bridegroom,  as  well  as  his 
weapons,  and  thus  attired  chases  him  about,  with  the 
object  of  smearing  his  face  with  some  of  the  dough 
from  the  trough.  His  friends  throw  in  money,  which 
the  girl  keeps,  instead  of  the  bridegroom,  or  his  best 
man,  as  in  Macedonia  (see  p.  177).  Another  of  their 
customs  is  for  the  bride's  mother  to  sprinkle  the  bride- 
groom with  water,  when  he  arrives  at  her  house  ;  and 
she  also  places  a  handkerchief  on  his  left  shoulder.  The 
bridegroom's  man  (the  vlani)  puts  both  her  shoes  and 
girdle  on  the  bride  ;  and  is  also  obliged  to  steal  two 
spoons,  or  other  articles  (compare  Tyrol).  On  the  day 
after  the  wedding  the  newly-married  couple  sprinkle 
each  other  with  water.  (For  a  cognate  Russian  custom, 
see  p.  201).     Brahmins  also  use  water  in  a  similar  way. 


CHAPTER   XIII 

The  Danubian  Principalities. 

AS  might  be  expected,  the  peasants  of  Bulgaria  retain 
many  very  old  marriage  customs,  although  the 
upper  classes  are  gradually  assimilating  those  of  the 
modern  Greeks,  Marriages  are  arranged  either  by  the 
young  man's  parents  or  by  professional  match-makers, 
who  fix  the  sum  to  be  paid  by  him,  which  must  be  at 
least  _^5o,  together  with  a  smaller  sum  (head  money) 
paid  to  the  girl's  mother.  Our  present  description 
applies  to  marriages   among  the   peasants  only. 

Betrothals  are,  as  a  rule,  celebrated  on  a  Wednesday 
or  a  Thursday  evening  with  much  feasting  and  rejoicing. 
On  these  occasions  documents  are  produced  stating  that 
the  bridegroom  elect  promises  to  pay  the  amount  pre- 
viously arranged  by  his  parents  or  the  "match-maker," 
while  his  future  father-in-law  declares  his  willingness  to 
furnish  his  daughter  with  a  trousseau. 

The  contracting  parties  exchange  rings  and  a  priest 
gives  them  his  blessing.  At  the  feast  the  elder  guests 
arrange  themselves  around  a  cloth  spread  out  on  the 
floor  :  and  there  is  a  great  variety  of  dishes  all 
flavoured    with    garlic.     The    young   people's  banquet 

i8S 


1 86  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

is  served  in  a  separate  room,  and  they  afterwards  dance 
outside  the  house,  singing  songs  every  now  and  then. 
The  wine  flows  freely.  At  this  teast  the  young  man 
produces  his  presents  to  the  bride,  such  as  slippers, 
bracelets,  earrings,  a  head-dress  of  gold  and  silver  coins 
and  a  silver  girdle.  At  first  her  father  expresses  dis- 
satisfaction, and  so  the  would-be  husband  goes  on 
adding  one  coin  at  a  time  to  the  head-dress  until  the 
former  is  satisfied.  These  presents  are  collected  in  a 
wooden  dish,  such  as  the  people  use  for  making  bread, 
and  then  the  feasting  continues  as  before.  Some  of  the 
guests  are  pretty  sure  to  drink  to  excess  before  daylight 
appears.  Next  day  the  betrothed  young  woman  dons 
her  pretty  jewelry  and  coins,  and  then  her  engagement 
is  recognised. 

It  would  be  incorrect  to  say  that  love-matches  are 
unknown  among  the  peasants  of  Bulgaria,  but  they 
occur  very  rarely.  It  must  be  confessed  that  the 
husband  chooses  and  buys  his  wife  much  in  the  same 
way  as  he  would  purchase  a  yoke  of  oxen  or  buffaloes. 
His  object  is  to  find  a  strong,  healthy  partner  for  life, 
who  will  be  willing  to  work,  and,  he  hopes,  become 
the  mother  of  strong  lads  to  help  him  in  the  hard 
labour  of  working  his  farm.  Beauty,  therefore,  does 
not  count  for  much  ;  strength  commands  a  higher 
price  in  the  markets. 

If  a  young  man  fails  to  fulfil  his  promise  of  mar- 
riage he  is  fined  somewhat  heavily  by  the  aggrieved 
parents.  The  interval  between  betrothal  and  marriage 
is  not  less  than  six  months,  and  may  be  as  much  as  two 


BULGARIA  -        187 

or  three  years.  The  bridegroom  has  time,  therefore, 
to  change  his  mind  should  he  be  in  some  way  disap- 
pointed, but  it  is  quite  exceptional  for  engagements  to 
be  broken  off.  There  is  much  for  him  to  do  before 
the  marriage  takes  place  ;  he  builds  a  house  with  his 
own  hands  and  furnishes  it,  buying  at  the  same  time 
cattle  to  stock  his  little  farm  or  peasant's  holding. 

The  bride's  father  and  mother  also  contribute 
towards  the  furnishing  of  their  daughter's  new  home. 
When  all  is  prepared  the  young  man  sends  his  parents, 
or  it  may  be  some  friend,  to  announce  that  he  wishes 
the  wedding  to  take  place  shortly.  Marriages  take 
place  on  Sundays  and  at  a  time  of  the  year  when  there 
is  little  outdoor  work  going  on,  as  might  be  expected 
among  peasants. 

The  village  girls  dance  in  front  of  the  bride's  house 
and  the  young  men  before  the  bridegroom's.  As  in 
Sicily,  and  some  other  parts,  the  bride's  trousseau  is  on 
view  at  her  home  a  day  or  two  before  the  wedding  ; 
the  neighbours,  at  least  the  women,  take  a  curious 
delight  in  the  inspection.  This  takes  place  on  the 
Friday  ;  next  day  the  bride's  girl  friends  (as  in  Turkey, 
Greece,  &c.)  assist  her  at  the  bath  and  braid  her  hair. 
She  never  takes  a  bath  again,  and  never  had  one 
before.  The  girls  present  flowers  and  sweets,  and  then 
cheer  their  friend  with  songs  and  dances.  Her  parents 
make  cakes  and  send  them  round  to  their  friends  :  this 
little  courtesy  is  equivalent  to  an  invitation  to  the 
wedding  feast.  The  marriage  generally  takes  place  at  the 
church,  but  sometimes  at  the  house  of  the  bridegroom. 


1 88  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

According  to  Mrs.  Blunt, ^  marriages  take  place  in  a 
store-house,  or  granary,  for  the  sake  of  safety.  She 
says  the  custom  of  marrying  in  some  retired  part  of 
the  house  is  due  to  a  dread  of  Turks,  who  might  fall 
on  the  bridal  party  and  rob  them.  This  lady,  writing 
in  1878,  tells  a  tale  of  events  of  "some  months  ago," 
which  took  place  in  a  certain  village  in  Macedonia. 
The  dreaded  Turks  suddenly  appeared  on  the  scene, 
and  after  robbing  and  beating  all  the  company,  stripped 
the  poor  bride  of  all  her  belongings,  and  behaved  with 
fiendish  brutality.  We  need  not  mention  details. 
When  the  ceremony  has  been  performed  at  church 
the  whole  party  go  in  procession  to  the  bride's  house, 
where  the  feast  is  held.  Corn  is  sprinkled  over  the 
newly-wedded  couple,  and  the  young  girls  dance.  The 
bride  is  veiled  and  kisses  the  hands  of  the  married 
women  present,  each  of  whom  gives  her  a  fig.  These 
wedding  feasts,  like  those  given  at  betrothals  are  very 
festive  occasions,  frequently  marred  by  excessive 
drinking. 

The  following  custom  reminds  us  of  what  happens 
in  some  parts  of  Africa,  for  the  unfortunate  bride  and 
bridegroom  are  shut  up  in  their  house  for  a  week, 
during  which  time  no  visitors  are  allowed.  At  the 
conclusion  of  this  term  of  imprisonment,  married 
women  come  and  conduct  the  bride  to  the  village 
fountain,  or  spring,  as  in  Greece,  round  which  she 
walks  three  times.  Then  she  kisses  their  hands  and 
they  give  her  figs.  After  which,  let  us  hope,  the 
^  "  The  People  of  Turkey." 


BULGARIA  189 

water-nymphs  will  be  good  to  her  !  Nothing  more 
is  then  required  of  the  young  wife  but  to  visit  her 
mother. 

The  Bulgarians  of  Macedonia  have  certain  peculiar 
customs  in  connection  with  the  home-coming  of  a 
bride.  When  the  husband's  house  is  situated  at  some 
distance  from  that  of  his  father-in-law,  the  party  that 
conducts  the  bride  is  led  by  one  of  the  guests  carrying 
a  standard  on  which  is  placed  an  apple — symbol  of 
love  and  maternity.  All  are  mounted  on  horseback 
and  gaily  decked  out  with  garlands  of  flowers.  Thus 
she  is  led  with  much  singing  and  laughter  to  her  new 
home,  and  we  seem  to  see  here  a  faint  reflection  of 
some  old  Greek  procession  in  honour  of  Bacchus.  On 
arriving  at  the  village  they  are  met  by  the  "  best  man  " 
and  others  with  cakes,  baskets  of  fruit,  and  flasks  of 
wine.  The  nuncio  (best  man)  leads  a  goat  with  gilded 
horns  and  carries  the  bridal  crowns.  Arrived  at  the 
house,  the  bride  alights  in  the  courtyard,  where  the 
standard  has  been  placed.  The  father  helps  his 
daughter  to  dismount  ;  she  kisses  her  horse  on  the 
forehead,  and  is  led  by  her  parent,  each  holding  one 
end  of  a  handkerchief,  to  the  granary  down  below. 
Here  is  displayed  the  wedding  cake,  which  rests  on  a 
barrel  of  wine.  The  priest,  arrayed  in  gorgeous  robes, 
marries  the  couple  at  this  Bacchanalian  altar  ;  they 
drink  consecrated  wine  from  a  glass,  and  walk  three 
times  round  the  wine-barrel,  while  the  company  amuse 
themselves  by  throwing  showers  of  sweets  and  fruit  at 
them.     There  is    the    usual   Greek   ceremony   of  pro- 


190  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

pitiating  the  water-nymphs  at  the  well,  in  company 
with  married  women  and  girls.  This  is  done  by 
throwing  in  coins.  It  is  interesting  to  find  here  the 
custom  of  throwing  over  the  bride  water  from  the  well 
which  she  has  herself  drawn  from  it.  In  Russia  the 
peasants  throw  water  over  both  bride  and  bridegroom. 
Finally  the  bride  kisses  the  hands  of  her  women 
friends,  and  receives  from  each  a  fig,  which  is,  of 
course,  a  symbolical  act. 

In  Roumania,  as  in  Bosnia  and  elsewhere,  girls  of  a 
marriageable  age  wear  coins  and  pearls  on  their  heads  as 
a  sign  to  all  that  they  have  no  objection  to  a  husband. 
They  begin  at  an  early  age  to  make  garments  for  the 
trousseau.  An  Englishman  once  saw  a  little  girl,  six 
years  old,  knitting  stockings  for  that  purpose.  The 
mothers  are  very  anxious  to  let  the  young  men  know 
the  extent  of  their  daughter's  trousseau,  and  allow  them 
the  privilege  of  inspecting  the  chest  containing  the 
necessary  garments.  Consequently  the  village  bachelors 
become  very  mercenary,  and  if  not  satisfied  with  what 
they  see,  will  look  elsewhere  for  a  wife.  In  a  certain 
village  the  mothers  anxious  for  a  son-in-law  seize  the 
opportunity  of  carnival  time  to  display  the  trousseau, 
by  hanging  out  the  various  articles  on  a  wall,  or  other- 
wise. 

Fathers  spend  so  much  in  providing  for  their 
daughters  that  the  sons  must  look  out  for  themselves, 
and  seek  well-endowed  partners.  The  young  lady 
must  select  her  husband  from  a  list  of  candidates — even 


ROUMANIA  191 

when  she  has  not  the  honour  of  their  acquaintance. 
But  the  list  informs  her  of  their  means  and  quahfica- 
tions. 

Some  of  their  customs  appear  to  be  thoroughly 
Keltic  :  thus,  in  certain  districts,- on  the  wedding-day, 
when  the  bridegroom  arrives  at  the  house  of  his  future 
wife,  they  make  a  pretence  of  being  unwilling  to  give 
up  their  daughter,  first  of  all  bringing  forward  an  old 
woman,  as  in  the  Tyrol,  Brittany,  and  Switzerland. 

An  old  custom,  now  dying  out,  is  the  "  Maiden 
Market,"  somewhat  akin  to  the  Bride-show  of  Russia. 
On  the  Festival  of  St.  Peter  and  St.  Paul  (June  29), 
the  girls  assembled  on  the  top  of  a  high  mountain  called 
Gaina.  Trousseaux,  packed  in  chests,  were  laboriously 
brought  up  in  carts  drawn  by  horses  or  oxen  ;  and, 
in  order  to  make  a  fair  show,  articles  were  sometimes 
borrowed.  Each  family  stayed  in  a  tent.  Then  came 
the  young  men  with  their  parents,  and  a  strange  sight 
it  must  have  been.  But  there  was  more  sense  in  this 
plan  than  might  appear  at  first  sight  ;  for  in  old  days, 
the  shepherds,  who  lived  on  the  mountain  sides,  had 
very  few  opportunities  of  coming  down  into  the 
valleys.  And  so,  if  the  shepherds  could  not  come 
to  see  the  lassies,  the  lassies  came  up  to  them. 
Shepherds  who  had  thus  found  wives  went  off  with 
them,  and  the  fathers  and  mothers  down  below  were 
deserted.  A  girl  betrothed  at  this  fair  would  go  to 
the  village  and  offer  a  kiss  to  every  decent  man  and 
woman  she  met.  That  was  the  way  they  bade  farewell 
to  their  friends. 


192  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

Bride  and  bridegroom  frequently  meet  for  the  first 
time  at  the  altar.  It  is  on  record  that  once  a  betrothed 
young  man  failed  to  appear  at  the  church — perhaps 
having  changed  his  mind.  The  situation  was  embar- 
rassing, to  say  the  least,  for  he  could  nowhere  be 
found,  though  diligent  search  was  made  by  messengers 
sent  out  for  the  purpose.  Then  a  happy  thought 
occurred  to  one  of  the  party.  The  intended  but  mis- 
sing bridegroom  had  a  brother  ;  "  would  he  not  do  quite 
as  well — or  better  .?  "  So  messengers  were  sent  of?"  in 
hot  haste  to  ask  if  he  would  be  so  obliging  as  to  marry 
the  young  lady  his  brother  had  so  basely  deserted  } 
This  invitation  was  accepted,  and  the  bride  married 
after  all,  which  was  better  than  coming  away  from  the 
church  unwedded  !  The  remedy  was  simple  ;  but  one 
would  think  that  the  future  relations  between  those  two 
brothers  must  have  been  somewhat  strained.  It  is  to 
be  hoped  that  the  defaulter  at  least  kept  out  of  the  way 
of  his  brother's  wife. 

Jilted  suitors  have  a  spiteful  way  of  showing  their 
disgust  ;  they  go  out  at  night  and  cut  down  all  the 
hemp  and  flax  in  the  field  from  which  the  girl  was 
about  to  spin  the  material  for  her  clothes. 

Marriages,  among  the  upper  classes,  are  celebrated 
late  in  the  day  ;  among  poor  people  somewhat  early. 
The  ceremony  does  not  always  take  place  at  church. 
Coins  are  thrown  on  to  a  carpet,  on  which  the  bride 
and  bridegroom  stand.  Crowns  are  placed  on  their 
heads  by  the  officiating  priest.  Sweets,  or  nuts  (in 
country    districts),    are    showered    upon     them  —  thus 


BOSNIA  193 

recalling  the  words  of  Virgil,  "  Nuces  sparge,  marite." 
The  day  ends  with  dancing  and  feasting. 

In  Bosnia  the  married  Mohammedan  women  go 
about  closely  veiled,  like  Turkish  ladies,  whereas  girls 
are  allowed  more  freedom  in  this  respect.  Hence  the 
Turks  have  a  proverb — "  Go  to  Bosnia  if  you  wish  to 
see  your  betrothed."  Although  marriages  are  arranged 
by  parents,  the  young  people  are  not  denied  oppor- 
tunities of  converse  before  the  wedding,  consequently 
love-matches  sometimes  take  place,  and  young  men  find 
their  way  to  the  fair  one's  window  to  whisper  words  of 
love  ;  but,  by  a  curious  restriction,  only  on  Mondays 
and  Fridays.  Acccording  to  a  well-known  story  a 
Bosnian  young  lady  committed  suicide  because  her 
lover  was  slain  in  battle.  Omer  Pasha,  in  narrating 
the  story,  remarks  :  "  It  all  comes  of  not  wearing  the 
veil,  and  letting  affianced  couples  see  each  other.  If 
she  had  always  kept  her  yasmak  on  her  face,  she  might 
have  married  another  man,  for  there  would  have  been 
no  great  love  in  the  matter." 

Amongst  the  Morlacci  of  Dalmatia,  the  suitor 
approaches  the  family  of  his  young  lady  through  an 
intermediary.  On  being  accepted  by  the  fair  one,  he 
sends  her  certain  presents,  such  as  shoes,  a  mirror,  a 
ring,  a  comb,  a  red  silk  ribbon  for  tying  the  hair,  and 
an  apple,  stuck  all  over  with  gold  and  silver  coins. 
His  family  also  sends  her  gifts,  such  as  shoes  ;  for 
unmarried  girls  usually  wear  only  sandals.      The  bride- 

H 


194  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

elect  herself  works  stockings  and  garters  for  presents  to 
the  men  of  her  future  husband's  family  ;  for  the  women, 
aprons,  &c. 

A  good  many  official  persons  take  part  in  the 
wedding  ;  for  instance,  there  are  the  master  of  the 
ceremonies  (^stari-svat)  ;  the  bridegroom's  man  {com- 
pdre)  ;  the  flag-bearer  {berakdar^^  who  carries  a  silk 
flag  with  an  apple  fixed  to  its  spear-head — a  symbol 
used  by  Bulgarians  ;  the  two  bridegroom's  brothers 
{jUvari)^  who  attend  on  the  bride,  carrying  the 
umbrella  over  her  ;  the  beadle  {chaiis)^  who  clears  the 
way  for  the  wedding  procession.  A  woman  accom- 
panies the  bride  to  the  nave  of  the  church.  There  the 
bridegroom  and  his  compare  kneel  before  the  altar 
awaiting  the  bride.  When  the  service  is  over  the  two 
brothers  of  the  bridegroom  conduct  the  bride  back  to 
her  home,  where  the  marriage  feast  is  held.  And  here 
we  find  an  Armenian  custom  cropping  up,  for  the 
bride,  on  approaching  the  door  of  her  husband's  house, 
takes  in  her  arms  a  child.  She  then  kneels  down  and 
kisses  the  threshold  of  the  door.  Her  mother-in-law 
hands  her  a  sieve  containing  dried  fruits,  which  she 
scatters  among  the  guests,  thus  symbolising  the  abun- 
dance she  hopes  will  come  to  her  new  home.  The 
husband,  at  dinner  time,  leaves  her  in  charge  of  his  two 
brothers,  with  whom  she  sits  in  a  separate  room — why 
we  cannot  say.  During  the  meal  he  must  not  use  a 
knife — that  would  bring  unhappiness,  and  so  his  best 
man  cuts  up  his  food  for  him.  Next  day,  all  go  to 
church  again,  and  another  feast  is  given  by  the  husband 


SERVIA  195 

at  his  own  house,  and  the  bride  gives  presents  to  the 
guests. 

In  certain  parts,  where  the  girls  wear  red  caps,  the 
cap  is  replaced  at  the  church  door  by  a  veil.  The  un- 
married girls  wear  many  coins  on  their  caps  as  well  as 
on  the  front  ot  the  bodice.  This  gives  the  young  men 
a  chance  of  seeing  at  a  glance  how  much  they  are 
worth,  and  resembles  the  Russian  "  Bride-show " 
described  in  the  next  chapter. 

A  Servian  bride,  before  entering  the  bridegroom's 
house,  must  walk,  or  ride,  three  times  round  her 
mother-in-law,  who  holds  a  sieve  of  wheat  in  her  hand. 
Then,  on  entering  the  house,  she  must  walk  three  times 
round  the  hearth.  A  jester  (the  fans)  throws  the  logs 
about  the  hearth,  and  the  bride  takes  them  up  and  sets 
them  down  properly. 


CHAPTER    XIV 

Russia 

'  I  'HAT  Russians  do  not  esteem  women  highly  is 
^  clearly  shown  by  their  proverbs.  "  There  is  only 
one  soul,"  they  say,  "  between  ten  women."  A  hus- 
band declares,  "  I  love  thee  as  my  soul,  and  I  beat  thee 
as  my  cloak."  In  country  districts  they  marry  early, 
but  the  sons  do  not  quit  their  father's  house.  This 
arrangement  is  found  to  be  very  profitable,  for  the 
daughters-in-law  not  only  all  work,  and  so  increase 
the  wealth  produced  by  the  family,  but  also  bring 
a  portion  of  land  with  them  as  dowry.  Boys  are 
now  forbidden  to  marry  until  they  attain  the  age  of 
seventeen,  but  it  is  not  very  long  ago  that  grown-up 
women  were  to  be  seen  carrying  about  boys  of  six  to 
whom  they  had  been  betrothed. 

Kovalevsky  has  well  shown  that  many  of  the  mar- 
riage customs  of  this  country  are  survivals  from  a 
primitive  and  prehistoric  age  when  the  woman  ruled 
the  household  and  had  more  than  one  husband.  The 
tie  between  brother  and  sister  is  very  strong,  the 
brother  being  her  guardian  and  protector.      He  plays 

a    very    important    part    at    the    wedding.       Thus,    in 

10 


RUSSIA  197 

accordance  with  old  custom,  when  the  bridegroom 
has  arrived  at  the  bride's  house  her  brother  sits  down 
by  her  side  with  a  naked  sword,  or  a  stick  in  his  hand, 
and,  on  being  requested  by  the  bridegroom  to  surrender 
his  seat,  replies  that  he  is  there  to  keep  ward  over  his 
sister,  and  will  not  move  unless  he  is  paid  for  it. 

"  Dear  brother,  don't  give  me  away  for  nothing  ;  ask 
a  hundred  roubles  for  me,  and  for  the  veil  which  covers 
my  head  a  thousand  roubles.  Ask  for  my  beauty,  God 
alone  knows  how  much."  Such  is  the  tenor  of  the 
songs  composed  for  the  occasion.  This  shows  that 
brothers  had  the  power  of  selling  their  sisters  in 
marriage,  and  it  all  points  to  a  distant  age  when  the 
matriarchal  system  prevailed,  and  the  brother  was  his 
sister's  guardian.  In  Little  Russia  the  brother's  sword 
is  decked  with  the  red  berries  of  the  rowan  tree,  red 
being  the  emblem  of  maidenhood. 

The  "  Bride-show,"  another  ancient  custom,  is  no 
longer  kept  up.  Youths  and  maidens  of  the  trading 
class  used  to  assemble  in  great  numbers,  some  to 
admire,  others  to  be  admired.  The  girls  stood  in  a 
row,  arrayed  in  their  best  dresses,  their  mothers 
keeping  guard  behind.  Speaking  of  one  ot  these 
shows,  an  English  traveller  relates  that  one  of  the 
mothers,  being  at  a  loss  to  think  of  any  fresh  charm 
for  her  daughter,  made  a  necklace  of  six  dozen  silver- 
gilt  spoons,  a  girdle  of  an  equal  number  of  tablespoons, 
and  fastened  a  couple  of  silver  ladles  behind  in  the 
form  of  a  cross.  The  young  men  walked  up  and 
down    like   inspecting   officers,    but   were    not    allowed 


198  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

to  express  their  admiration.  If  a  youth  found  a 
maiden  to  his  fancy,  he  could  arrange  for  the  be- 
trothal through  a  match-maker.  The  embassy  or 
party  which,  among  the  peasants,  goes  to  the  girl's 
house  always  starts  at  night,  and  tries  to  avoid 
meeting  any  person,  for  that  would  be  a  bad  omen. 
Having  knocked  at  the  cottage  door  and  asked  permis- 
sion to  enter,  they  are  politely  received  and  requested 
to  take  seats,  which  they  refuse  to  do  until  the  purport 
of  their  visit  has  been  declared.  "  We  have  a  brave 
youth,"  they  say,  "you  have  a  fair  maiden.  Might 
not  the  two  be  brought  together.''"  The  parents  of 
the  girl  acknowledge  the  compliment,  and  then  all  sit 
down  to  a  meal.  When  this  is  over  the  embassy  ask 
for  a  final  answer,  and  the  parents,  having  first  pleaded 
for  delay,  give  their  consent.  Then  follows  the  "hand- 
striking,"  or  first  ceremony,  before  the  betrothal,  which 
cannot  be  broken.  A  candle  is  lighted  and  placed 
before  the  holy  picture  ;  the  youth  and  the  maiden 
utter  a  prayer  and  strike  hands  over  the  bargain.  As 
with  the  Chinese,  the  Jews  of  old,  and  other  peoples, 
so  here  the  girl  must  bewail  the  change  that  is  in  store 
for  her,  and  continue  to  do  so  up  to  the  time  of  the 
actual  marriage.  Her  companions,  on  the  day  before 
the  wedding,  express  her  feelings  in  many  poetic  forms, 
while  she  undoes  her  long  single  plait  of  hair,  the  badge 
of  maidenhood,  and  distributes  the  ribbons  and  flowers 
thereon. 

In  old  days  a  betrothed  maiden,  by  way  of  expressing 
complete  submission  to  her  lord,  presented  him  on  the 


RUSSIA  199 

wedding-day  with  a  whip  made  by  herself,  and  he  went 
through  the  ceremony  of  giving  her  a  gentle  stroke  on 
the  shoulders,  to  show  that  he  intended  to  be  master. 
Another  custom,  now  changed,  had  the  like  signifi- 
cance ;  after  the  marriage  ceremony  the  bride  used  to 
knock  her  head  on  her  husband's  shoe  in  token  of 
obedience,  and  he  cast  the  lap  of  his  gown  over  her 
in  token  of  his  duty  to  protect  and  cherish  her  (com- 
pare Ruth  iii.  9).  But  at  the  present  day  the  bride 
need  only  make  a  show  of  prostrating  herself  at  his 
feet. 

The  betrothal  is  a  ceremony  performed  with  the  rites 
of  the  Eastern  Church,  and  takes  place  eight  days 
before  the  marriage.  During  the  interval  between 
betrothal  and  marriage  the  bride's  girl  friends  en- 
deavour to  amuse  her  and  keep  up  her  spirits  (for  she 
is  supposed  to  be  in  a  state  of  lamentation  and  grief) 
by  singing  to  her,  and  their  songs  tell  of  the  happiness 
of  married  life.  On  the  day  before  the  wedding  they 
conduct  her  to  the  bath  (as  among  Arabs  and  others), 
where  much  time  is  spent  in  dressing  her  hair,  while 
she  listens  to  their  songs, 

Russian  marriages  are  attended  by  a  great  deal  of 
ceremony.  In  middle-class  life  there  are  a  great  many 
"assistants"  to  be  invited.  These  are  the  "witnesses" 
to  the  register,  being  the  nearest  relatives  of  the  pair  ; 
the  "  ladies  of  honour  "  who  accompany  them  to 
church  ;  the  "  bridesmen  "  acting  as  stewards  ;  and 
the  boydrin,^  who  carry  the  sacred  pictures.  Among 
'  Large  landed  proprietors,  who  used  to  attend  the  reigning  princes. 


200  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

nobles  the  wedding  takes  place  in  the  evening.  Both 
bride  and  bridegroom  receive  a  solemn  blessing  from 
their  parents  before  leaving  their  houses,  and  even  the 
wedding  garments  are  blessed  by  the  priest.  The 
boyarin  carry  the  sacred  picture  in  procession  before 
the  couple  to  the  church,  where  a  lighted  wax  taper 
is  given  to  each,  and  the  belief  is  that  the  one  whose 
light  goes  out  first  will  be  the  first  to  die. 

The  marriage  service  is  divided  into  three  parts, 
once  celebrated  at  different  times,  but  now  all  taken 
together.  The  first  is  the  office  of  Espousals,  in 
which  gold  rings  are  exchanged.  Secondly,  the  office 
of  Matrimonial  Coronation,  in  which  bride  and  bride- 
groom are  crowned  with  crowns  of  silver  filagree  (or 
garlands).  Thirdly,  the  office  of  the  Dissolution  of 
the  Crowns.  It  has  been  well  pointed  out  that  all 
these  ceremonials  are  so  exactly  like  those  of  the  old 
Roman  nuptials  that  they  would  appear  to  have  been 
derived  therefrom.  Roman  poets  and  historians  allude 
to  them  all. 

The  giving  of  wine  mingled  with  water  is  an  allusion 
to  the  marriage  of  Cana,  and  takes  place  after  the  last 
of  the  above  ceremonies.  Then  the  pair,  following 
the  priest,  walk  three  times  round  the  small  movable 
altar  on  which  the  cross  and  the  Gospels  are  placed, 
listen  to  exhortation,  kiss  one  another  three  times,  and 
receive  his  benediction.  They  also  kiss  the  holy 
pictures. 

One  of  the  many  superstitions  still  prevailing  among 
the  peasant  population  of  Russia  is  that,  on  the  occa- 


RUSSIA  201 

sion  of  a  marriage,  the  happiness  of  the  newly-married 
couple  is  not  assured  unless  the  parents  of  the  con- 
tracting parties  are  soaked  with  water  from  head  to 
foot.  When  a  marriage  takes  place  in  summer  this 
is  easily  accomplished  by  ducking  the  fathers  and 
mothers  in  the  nearest  river,  but  in  winter  they  are 
laid  on  the  ground  and  rolled  in  the  snow.  According 
to  the  Moscow  correspondent  of  The  Daily  Mail,  the 
observance  of  this  curious  custom  has  recently  caused 
the  death  of  a  bride's  father  in  the  village  of  Sysertsky, 
in  the  Upha  province.  In  this  case  the  wedding  guests 
were  all  drunk,  as  is  usual  on  these  occasions,  and, 
instead  of  simply  rolling  the  man  in  the  snow,  they 
brought  water  out  of  the  house  in  a  bucket  and  threw 
it  over  him.  Now  the  temperature  was  far  below 
the  freezing  point,  and  consequently  it  is  not  surprising 
to  read  that  the  unfortunate  man  took  a  severe  chill 
from  which  he  never  recovered. 

The  following  account  of  a  marriage  in  middle-class 
life  is  chiefly  derived  from  a  detailed  description,  given 
many  years  ago  by  Dr.  Granville  in  his  book  on  St. 
Petersburg.  At  the  appointed  time  a  large  number 
of  friends  of  the  parties,  having  previously  assembled 
in  the  church,  attended  by  a  deacon,  proceeded  down 
the  church  from  the  altar  to  the  door,  where  he  received 
the  candidates  for  matrimony.  After  he  had  delivered 
to  each  a  lighted  taper,  and  made  the  sign  of  the  cross 
three  times  on  their  foreheads,  he  conducted  them  to 
the  upper  part  of  the  nave.  The  bride  was  attended 
by  young   ladies  in  splendid   dresses,   and   incense  was 


202  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

scattered  before  them  as  they  advanced.  The  priest,  as 
he  went,  recited  a  Htany  in  which  the  choristers  assisted, 
and,  at  its  conclusion,  halted  before  a  table,  on  which 
the  rings  were  deposited  ;  then,  turning  towards  the 
altar  with  the  bride  and  bridegroom  behind  him,  he 
repeated  a  very  short  and  impressive  prayer,  or  invoca- 
tion. After  this  he  turned  round  to  the  couple  and 
blessed  them  ;  and  then,  taking  the  rings  from  the 
table,  gave  one  to  each,  proclaiming  in  a  loud  voice 
that  they  were  married  to  each  other  "  now  and  for 
ever,  even  unto  ages  of  ages."  This  declaration  he 
repeated  three  times,  the  bride  and  bridegroom 
exchanging  rings  at  each  declaration.  The  rings  were 
then  again  surrendered  to  the  priest,  who,  after  having 
crossed  the  foreheads  of  the  young  couple  with  them, 
placed  them  on  the  forefinger  of  the  right  hand  of  each. 
He  then  again  turned  towards  the  altar  and  read 
another  impressive  part  of  the  service,  in  which  allusion 
is  made  to  all  the  passages  of  the  Bible  in  which  a  ring 
is  mentioned  as  the  symbol  of  union,  honour,  and 
power. 

After  this,  the  priest  took  the  young  couple  by  the 
hand  and  led  them  towards  a  silken  carpet  which  lay 
spread  on  the  ground.  This  is  to  the  mass  of  spectators 
a  moment  of  great  interest  ;  for  it  is  firmly  believed 
that  the  one  who  first  steps  upon  the  carpet  will 
have  the  mastery  of  the  other  throughout  life.  "  In 
the  present  instance,"  says  Dr.  Granville,  "  the  bride 
secured  possession  of  this  prospective  advantage  with 
modest   forwardness." 


^  t 


►J     :; 

P3    '^ 


RUSSIA  203 

Two  silver  imperial  crowns  were  then  produced  by  a 
layman,  and  received  by  the  priest,  who,  after  blessing 
the  bridegroom,  placed  one  of  these  ornaments  on  his 
head  ;  the  other  was  merely  held  over  the  bride's  head 
in  order  that  the  superstructure  raised  by  a  fashionable 
hairdresser  of  St.  Petersburg  might  not  be  deranged. 
After  the  crowning,  a  cup  was  brought  to  the  priest, 
who  after  drinking  from  it  himself,  gave  it  to  the  bride- 
groom, who  took  three  sips,  and  then  delivered  it  to 
the  bride,  by  whom  the  same  ceremony  was  repeated. 
After  a  short  pause  other  prayers  were  recited,  and, 
these  being  concluded,  the  priest  took  the  pair  by  the 
hand,  and  walked  three  times  round  the  desk,  reciting 
some  sentences.  Then,  taking  off  the  bridegroom's 
crown,  he  said,  "  Be  thou  magnified,  O  bridegroom,  as 
Abraham  !  Be  thou  blessed  as  Isaac,  and  multiplied  as 
Jacob,  walking  in  peace,  and  performing  the  command- 
ments of  God  in  righteousness."  In  removing  the 
bride's  crown  he  said,  "  And  be  thou  magnified,  O 
bride,  as  Sarah  !  Be  thou  joyful  as  Rebecca,  and 
multiplied  as  Rachel  ;  delighting  in  thine  own  husband, 
and  observing  the  bounds  of  the  law,  according  to  the 
good  pleasure  of  God." 

After  this  the  tapers  were  extinguished,  and  taken 
from  the  bride  and  bridegroom,  who  were  then  dis- 
missed by  the  priest  with  his  blessing,  and  received  the 
congratulations  of  the  company,  and  saluted  each  other. 
Dancing  and  feasting  continue  for  three  days  after  the 
wedding,  and  on  the  eighth  day,  the  parties  again 
repair  to  the   church,    when    the    priest    performs    the 


204  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

ceremony  of  "  Dissolving  the  Crowns  "  with  appropriate 
prayers.  Things  have  changed  since  Dr.  Granville  saw 
this  wedding,  and  now  the  "  dissolving  of  the  crowns  " 
is  part  of  the  actual  marriage  service. 

Marriages  sometimes  take  place  among  the  poor 
convicts  in  Siberian  prisons.  According  to  law,  the 
woman  must  follow  her  husband,  and  therefore  the  wives 
and  fiancees  of  the  condemned  must  ask  and  obtain 
permission  to  follow  them  into  exile.  When  husband 
and  wife  are  both  prisoners,  the  man  being  condemned 
to  exile  in  Western  Siberia,  while  the  woman  must  go 
to  Eastern  Siberia,  the  position  is  reversed  and  the 
husband  follows  the  wife.  How  sad  and  strange  are 
these  marriages,  performed  by  consent  of  the  Minister 
of  the  Interior,  before  a  temporary  altar  in  the 
Director's  office,  or  in  one  of  the  cells,  all  wearing 
grey  cloaks  and  sometimes  chains  !  The  unhappy 
pair  cannot  live  together  until  after  arrival  at  their 
destination. 

Among  the  Koraks  of  Siberia  a  young  man  seeks  for 
a  maiden  with  considerable  dowry  in  the  form  of  rein- 
deer which  are  the  most  valuable  kind  of  property  in 
these  parts.  As  in  all  eastern  countries,  the  marriage 
is  arranged  with  the  young  woman's  parents.  Should 
they  be  satisfied  with  his  position  and  prospects  in  life, 
the  would-be  husband  is  allowed  to  propose  matrimony 
to  the  girl  herself.  On  being  accepted,  the  lover  takes 
up  his  abode  in  the  home  of  his  future  wife,  but  he 
must  not  be  afraid  of  hard  work  ;   for  a  young  man  in 


SIBERIA  205 

this  position  is  expected  to  be  a  hewer  of  wood  and 
a  drawer  of  water,  and  generally  to  contribute  to  the 
interests  of  the  family  who  have  adopted  him.  These 
people  have  an  interesting  survival  of  the  ancient 
institution  of  marriage  by  capture.  The  game,  as 
played  by  the  lover  and  the  betrothed,  somewhat 
resembles  the  well-known  "  hide-and-seek  "  so  popular 
with  children  in  all  countries.  It  appears  to  be  the 
chief  ceremony  at  a  wedding,  and  doubtless  affords 
endless  amusement  to  the  assembled  guests.  The 
family  dwelling-place  is  a  large  tent,  with  many 
compartments,  separated  off  by  hanging  curtains  of 
reindeer  skins.  Some  contain  as  many  as  twenty-six 
compartments  ;  all  arranged  in  a  circle  around  the 
open  space  in  the  centre.  Here  the  assembled  guests 
are  crowded  together  to  witness  an  amusing  and  highly 
exciting  scene.  Points  of  matrimonial  etiquette  are 
keenly  discussed  as  they  stand  round  the  fire  that  lights 
up  the  tent,_or  regale  themselves  with  the  good  things 
served  up  for  the  feast.  Much  hot  tea  is  drunk  on 
these  occasions.  There  is  plenty  of  noise  too  ;  for  a 
drummer  is  employed  who  vigorously  beats  a  native 
drum.  Soon  a  tall,  elderly  Korak  enters,  bearing  under 
his  arm  a  bundle  of  willow-shoots,  which  he  distributes 
throughout  the  tent,  leaving  one  in  each  compartment. 
We  shall  see  presently  how  these  are  used.  The 
drummer  now  adds  to  the  noise  and  excitement  by 
singing  a  loud  and  barbarous  chant.  Then  the  bride 
and  bridegroom  are  brought  forth  in  the  company  of 
an  old  man.     The  music  grows  louder  and  louder,  and 


2o6  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

the  excitement  is  intense,  as  the  venerable  relative 
suddenly  gives  a  signal  to  the  bride  to  begin  the  game 
of  "  hide-and-seek  !  "  Quick  as  thought  she  darts 
away  into  the  first  compartment,  the  bridegroom 
following  with  no  less  rapid  steps.  Both  are  now 
hidden  from  view  by  the  first  curtain  of  reindeer  skins, 
and  by  that  time  the  bride  has  doubtless  escaped  into 
the  second  division  of  the  tent.  Not  so,  however,  the 
luckless  bridegroom !  His  progress  is  considerably 
impeded  by  the  women  who  have  taken  up  their 
stations  in  each  compartment,  and  endeavour  to  prevent 
him  from  catching  his  bride  by  beating  him  with  the 
willow  rods,  as  he  rushes  along  in  hot  pursuit.  Some 
try  to  trip  him  up  ;  others  endeavour  to  entangle 
him  in  the  reindeer  skins,  which  they  quickly  throw 
over  his  head.  But  he  rushes  on,  overcoming  all 
obstacles,  at  least  if  he  is  determined,  like  a  man,  not 
to  fail  in  his  object.  The  women  beat  him  unmerci- 
fully, but  still  it  is  all  a  great  joke  ;  and  what  does 
a  little  pain  count  when  there  is  a  chance  of  catching  a 
wife  ?  In  3.  few  moments  the  bride  has  reached  the 
last  compartment,  and  perhaps  it  is  hardly  necessary 
to  say  that  the  bridegroom,  in  most  cases,  catches  her 
there.  Should  he  fail  to  do  so,  it  may  be  taken  to 
mean  that  the  girl  does  not  wish  to  become  his  wife. 
Perhaps  she  hardly  knows  her  own  mind.  In  that  case 
he  must  serve  another  two  years,  and  try  his  luck 
again.  But  as  a  rule  all  ends  happily,  the  bride  waiting 
for  her  lover  in  the  last  compartment.  May-be  she 
pities  him,  and  "pity  is  akin  to  love."      The  guests,  of 


SIBERIA  207 

course,  are  greatly  delighted  when  the  young  people 
come  forth  hand  in  hand.  There  can  no  longer  be  any 
doubt  that  the  fair  one  is  willing  to  become  a  bride, 
and  so  the  two  receive  the  congratulations  and  good 
wishes  of  the  assembled  guests.  Henceforth  they  are 
man  and  wife.  We  seem  to  see  here  traces  of  certain 
customs  observed  in  India,  and  perhaps  of  Mongolian 
origin,  as,  for  instance,  the  pelting  of  the  bridegroom 
with  balls  of  boiled  rice. 


CHAPTER  XV 

Scandinavia  and  Polana 

T  N  Sweden  if  a  youth  and  maiden  eat  of  the  same 
^  piece  of  bread  people  say  they  are  sure  to  fall  in 
love  with  one  another.  This  is  not  an  indispensable 
preliminary — at  least  in  the  province  of  Bohus  and  in 
Finland.  In  those  parts  a  matrimonial  go-between  is 
often  employed  to  carry  the  youth's  offer  to  the  fair 
lady,  whom  perhaps  her  suitor  has  never  seen.  Should 
the  proposal  find  favour  with  the  maiden  and  her 
parents,  the  ambassador  presents  his  client  to  the 
family  on  the  following  Sunday.  The  young  people 
do  not  at  this  stage  converse  with  one  another  ;  the 
girl,  ignoring  her  suitor's  presence,  devotes  herself  to 
knitting  ;  but  the  youth,  having  no  resource  of  the 
kind,  is  often  reduced  to  the  last  stage  of  self-conscious 
misery. 

In  the  neighbourhood  of  Torna  (Scania)  the  maid's  ac- 
ceptance of  her  lover's  offer  is  celebrated  by  a  feast  called 
Ja-ol,  or  "  yes-ale,"  and  the  suitor  gives  his  mistress  a 
Ja-gofva^  or  "  yes-gift,"  a  silver  goblet  containing  coins 
wrapped   in   paper.     At    the    betrothal    they   exchange 

rings  and  present  gifts  to  each  other — on  the  maiden's 

208 


SCANDINAVIA  209 

side  a  trifle  of  her  own  handiwork  ;  from  the  lover  a 
prayer-book,  on  the  cover  of  which  is  engraved  a  heart 
and  some  Scripture  texts.  In  Rackeby  (Western 
Gotland)  the  girl's  present  to  her  lover,  a  shirt  of  the 
finest  material,  which  is  worn  on  the  wedding-day,  but 
never  afterwards.  On  his  death  he  is  buried  in  it.  No 
one  should  make  presents  without  due  reflection  ;  if  a 
youth  offer  his  intended  bride  a  knife  it  will  cut  the 
love  between  them  ;  shoes,  and  she  will  leave  him  for 
another  ;  a  pocket-handkerchief,  and  it  will  wipe  away 
her  affection  for  him. 

Sometimes  years  may  elapse  between  the  betrothal 
and  the  wedding.  Great  preparations  are  made  as  the 
day  approaches,  and  invitations  are  sent  to  a  great 
number  of  guests.  These  do  not,  as  in  the  Tyrol  and 
elsewhere,  pay  their  share  towards  expenses  incurred  at 
an  inn,  but  they  lighten  the  cost  of  entertainment  by 
bringing  with  them  to  the  bridal  house  a  large  supply 
of  provisions.  As  long  as  these  last  the  festivities 
continue.  In  Norway  it  was  usual  for  the  rejoicings 
to  be  spread  over  a  fortnight,  but  nowadays  people 
are  content  with  a  day  or  two  of  merriment.  A 
pretty  custom  obtains  in  Bohus  and  Finland.  Two 
spruce  pine-trees,  divested  of  their  lower  branches  and 
bark,  are  placed  one  on  each  side  of  the  entrance  door 
of  the  bridal  house,  not,  say  some,  to  be  removed  until 
the  bride  becomes  a  mother.  The  wedding-day  in 
Scandinavia  begins  with  a  repast  at  the  house  of  the 
parents  of  one  or  other  of  the  bridal  pair.  In  the 
south  of  Sweden  (Gotland)  the  guests  each  take  away 

15 


210  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

with  them  a  ring  of  wheaten  bread  and  a  flask  of 
brandy,  so  that,  as  was  the  custom  of  old  time  in 
Scotland,  they  may  be  able  to  treat  any  friend  they 
meet  with  on  the  way.  Already  the  bride  has  been 
dressed  by  her  tire-woman  {Drott-sdtd)^  the  wife  of  the 
pastor  of  the  village.  She  wears  a  black  dress,  with 
much  display  of  artificial  flowers  and  parti-coloured 
ribbons  ;  a  girdle  clasps  her  waist  ;  round  her  neck 
hang  pearls  ;  while  her  crown  is  either  a  myrtle-wreath, 
a  circlet  of  spangled  paper,  or  a  gorgeous  one  of  silver — 
a  loan  from  the  church.  The  shoes,  which  in  some  places 
are  put  on  by  two  members  of  the  bridegroom's  party, 
form  an  important  part  of  her  apparel.  There  must  be 
no  buckles  or  ties  in  them,  as  she  hopes  for  easy  child- 
bearing,  and  in  each  a  silver  coin  is  placed  so  that 
money  may  never  be  lacking  in  her  new  life.  Shod  in 
these  she  sallies  forth  to  the  cowhouse,  where,  if  she 
milks  one  cow,  milk  will  never  be  lacking  in  her  new 
home.  While  in  England  we  welcome  the  appearance 
of  the  sun  on  the  bridal  day,  the  Swedes  are  glad  to  see 
a  gentle  rain  ;  she  will  be  a  rich  woman,  they  say,  on 
whose  crown  the  rain  falls. 

During  the  ceremony  the  bridesmaids  hold  a  canopy 
of  shawls  over  the  bride.  When  the  service  is  over  the 
Warend  woman  stands  to  distribute  alms  in  the  church- 
yard, no  doubt,  like  her  German  sister,  to  "  take  away 
misfortune." 

In  some  districts  of  West  Gotland,  on  the  return 
home  the  mother  meets  her  daughter  on  the  threshold 
and  puts  a  lump  of  sugar  or  a  cofi^ee  bean  in  her  mouth. 


A  Hardanger  Bride,  Norway.     From  a  Photograph  by  M.  Selmer. 


SCANDINAVIA  2ii 

Is  this  a  means  of  securing  future  plenty,  or  does  it 
serve  as  a  reminder  of  the  necessity  of  preserving  a 
sweet  temper  through  married  life  ?  In  the  olden  time 
an  offering  was  made  to  the  "  trolls  "  or  "  fairies  "  by 
placing  under  the  charmed  tree  of  the  homestead  a  plate 
of  delicacies  coming  from  the  feast.  Traces  of  the 
reverence  paid  to  these  "little  people  "  still  remain  ;  the 
bride  puts  something  of  every  dish  of  which  she  par- 
takes during  the  wedding  meal  on  a  plate,  and  it  is 
given  in  alms  to  some  dependent  of  the  family. 

The  dowry  in  Lapland  consists  of  reindeer,  so  many 
head  of  cattle  according  to  the  state  of  the  parental 
finances.  The  Lapp  is  above  all  things  careful  to  "  go 
where  money  is."  "  How  many  reindeer  has  she  ?  "  is 
always  a  bachelor's  first  question  when  he  thinks  of 
entering  upon  a  marriage  treaty.  .As  he  gives  a  goodly 
supply  of  presents,  plate  and  jewelry,  at  the  conclusion 
of  the  bargain,  the  Lapp  may  in  a  sense  be  said  to  buy 
his  wife. 

An  American  tourist  once  joined,  out  of  curiosity,  a 
wedding  party  of  Lapps.  He  was  invited  to  partake 
of  their  meal  of  boiled  sheep.  After  drinking  the 
bride's  health,  he  watched  the  guests  take  their  meat 
from  a  common  dish,  cut  it  with  the  knives  they  wear 
at  the  waist  into  small  pieces,  and  swallow  it  at  a  gulp. 
He  noticed  that  the  bride  was  older  than  the  bride- 
groom, and  learned  later  that  it  was  the  usual  thing  in 
Lapland — a  money  match,  in  fact. 

In  Norway,  where  old  customs  are  rapidly  falling 
into  disuse,  it  is  not  uncommon  for  a  wedding  feast  to 


212  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

take  place  at  a  popular  restaurant  in  the  nearest  town. 
A  bridal  party  may  sometimes  be  seen  rowing  in  a  boat 
across  a  fjord,  as  in  our  illustration. 

When  the  guests  have  eaten  and  drunk  to  their 
heart's  content,  dancing  is  the  order  of  the  day.  In 
many  districts  the  bride  "  dances  off  her  crown  "  with 
much  ceremony.  She  stands  blindfolded  in  the  centre 
of  a  ring  of  dancing  maidens,  and  puts  her  crown  hap- 
hazard on  the  head  of  any  one  of  them  within  reach. 
The  maiden  thus  distinguished  is  looked  on  by  the 
company  as  the  next  bride,  and  becomes  in  her  turn  the 
centre  of  the  ring  ;  so  the  crown  goes  from  one  to  the 
other  throughout  the  party.  Lastly  the  young  wife, 
lifted  high  on  a  chair,  drinks  to  the  speedy  marriage  of 
all  the  maidens  present.  She  then  takes  her  place 
among  the  married  women. 

The  bridegroom  takes  leave  of  the  ranks  of  his 
bachelor  "associates"  in  a  similar  fashion.  He  dances 
with  each  in  turn,  and  is  then  hoisted  on  their 
shoulders.  A  scuffle  ensues  for  the  possession  of  his 
person  between  the  married  and  single  men,  and  he  is 
often  severely  handled  in  the  struggle.  At  the  con- 
clusion of  this  ceremony  the  pair  are  sometimes  called 
by  the  quaint  title  of  "  young  father  "  and  "  young 
mother,"  and  retiring,  they  take  off  their  bridal  cloth- 
ing and  reappear  in  simple  garments  befitting  staid 
married  folk. 

The  mirth  and  jollity  continues  far  into  the  night, 
when  in  the  Torna  district  the  pastor  conducts  the 
wife  and  then  the  husband  to  the  bridal  chamber,  where 


DENMARK  213 

he  delivers  a  suitable  exhortation.  The  guests  pre- 
sently throng  in  to  utter  their  good  wishes,  whereupon 
the  bridegroom  hands  every  man  a  glass  of  brandy,  and 
the  bride  gives  to  every  woman  one  filled  with  wine. 
Next  day,  in  Bohus  and  Finland,  the  bride  hides  away 
and  a  search  ensues  for  the  missing  one.  After  she  has 
been  discovered,  brought  home  in  state,  and  installed 
as  mistress  of  the  house,  she  celebrates  the  occasion  in 
the  usual  manner  by  filling  glasses  ;  and  these  are 
refilled  when  the  friends  make  their  offering  to  the 
young  couple,  each  one  placing  a  coin  on  the  wedding 
cake.  Perhaps  these  potations  are  less  liberal  now  than 
they  were  a  generation  ago.  The  return  home  after 
these  festivities  must  have  been  attended  with  some 
danger  to  those  who  had  done  honour  to  the  host's 
cellar,  and  forests  and  mountains  have  witnessed 
strange  sights. 

Danish  weddings  are  mostly  celebrated  in  July,  or 
about  Christmas  time.  With  regard  to  days,  Thursday 
is  considered  favourable,  but  Danes  are  frequently 
married  on  a  Saturday  or  a  Sunday.  Invitations  are 
given  through  a  friend  of  the  bridegroom,  who  rides 
on  a  horse  with  gay  trappings.  Should  the  good 
people  be  not  at  home,  this  envoy  goes  in  search 
of  them.  Hat  in  hand,  he  delivers  his  message  in 
a  formal  set  speech,  which  is  written  out  legibly  and 
placed  in  the  hat,  in  case  he  should  forget  any  part 
of  it.  "  You  must  not  put  the  messenger  to  shame," 
he    says    in    conclusion,    and    rides   away    to   the    next 


214  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

house  where  friends  or  relations  of  the  bridegroom  may- 
be dwelling. 

The  bride,  on  her  way  to  church,  must  never  once 
look  back,  such  an  act  would  augur  ill  for  her  future 
happiness.  Musicians  head  the  procession,  bridesmaids 
come  next,  then  the  bride  ;  the  bridegroom  and  his 
men  follow  in  their  own  separate  procession. 

The  feast  takes  place  at  the  bridegroom. 's  house  ;  a 
few  speeches  are  delivered,  and  the  company  begin  to 
dance.  After  about  two  hours  the  husband  must  take 
his  bride's  crown  from  off  her  head. 

In  West  Jutland  guests  and  relatives  assemble  at  the 
bride's  house  in  the  morning,  to  help  in  preparing  the 
feast,  as  in  Lower  Brittany.  They  bring  contributions 
of  butter,  eggs,  or  poultry. 

The  bride,  who  has  been  attired  by  the  clergyman's 
wife,  heads  the  procession  to  the  church  ;  she  is 
accompanied  by  two  "  bride-women  "  (of  whom  one 
is  the  lady  who  attired  her),  and  her  own  bridesmaids. 
All  walk  in  twos,  and  after  the  ceremony  (among 
Roman  Catholics)  the  guests  attend  Mass. 

The  feasting  is  on  a  liberal  scale,  and  the  bride  and 
bridegroom  lead  the  dancing  with  a  reel.  When  the 
girls  are  tired  of  dancing  they  play  games  until  supper 
is  served,  about  three  o'clock  in  the  morning.  Each 
guest  takes  away  a  present  in  return  for  his  contribu- 
tion to  the  feast. 

The  following  account  of  a  Polish  wedding  in  high 
life    nearly    a    century    ago,    shows  that  the   nobles  of 


POLAND  215 

the  country  married  their  daughters  with  a  splendour 
and  magnificence  which  was  almost  royal.  Its  accu- 
racy can  be  relied  upon,  for  the  facts  are  all  taken 
from  a  diary  kept  by  the  sister  of  the  bride  herself. 
The  ceremony  of  betrothal  was  briefly  as  follows  : — 

The  family  lived  in  a  castle,  and  one  day  at  the 
dinner,  which  took  place  at  noon,  the  mother  put  into 
the  hands  of  her  daughter  Barbara  an  entangled  skein 
of  silk,  upon  which  she  blushed  and  appeared  unable 
to  raise  her  eyes.  Her  future  husband  had  been  invited 
to  the  meal — all  eyes  were  fixed  on  the  bride  elect.  The 
family  jester  made  many  sly  jokes  to  amuse  the  com- 
pany. After  dinner  the  girl  sat  in  a  recess  of  one  of  the 
large  windows,  and  began  to  unravel  the  skein  of  silk, 
upon  which  her  future  husband  approached  with  these 
words,  "  Am  I  to  understand,  madam,  that  you  do 
not  oppose  yourself  to  my  happiness  ?  "  Barbara's 
way  of  saying  "  yes  "  was,  "  My  parents'  wishes  have 
ever  been  sacred  to  me."  The  young  man  was  con- 
ducted by  his  father  and  the  priest,  to  a  sofa  on  which 
the  noble  lord  and  lady  of  the  castle  were  seated. 
Then  the  father,  addressing  the  latter,  assured  them 
that  his  heart  was  filled  with  sentiments  of  the  sincerest 
affection    and    of   profound   esteem  for  the   illustrious 

family    of  ,    and   that   he   had   long   desired  this 

coming  alliance.  Their  daughter  was  a  model  of 
virtue  and  grace,  and  his  son  was  to  his  father  a  source 
of  pride  and  consolation.  He  then  took  from  one 
of  his  own  fingers  a  diamond  ring  and,  placing  it  on 
a  salver  held  by  the  priest,  said,  "  This  ring  I  received 


2i6  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

from  my  parents  and  placed  upon  the  finger  of  my 
lamented  wife  upon  the  day  of  our  betrothal.  Permit 
my  son  now  to  place  it  on  your  daughter's  hand,  as 
a  pledge  of  his  unalterable  love  and  true  devotion." 

This  was  followed  by  an  address  from  the  priest, 
after  which  the  bride's  father  replied  that  he  willingly 
consented  to  the  union,  that  he  now  gave  up  all  rights 
over  her.  The  mother  then  placed  a  valuable  ring 
on  the  salver  with  these  words,  "  I  concur  in  what  my 
husband  had  said,  and  present  my  daughter  with  this 
ring,  the  most  precious  jewel  of  our  house.  My  father 
received  it  from  the  hands  of  Augustus  II,  when  he 
concluded  the  Treaty  of  Karlowitz,  ...  It  was  with 
this  ring,  the  memory  of  which  is  so  dear,  that  I  was 
betrothed.  I  bestow  it  now  upon  my  child,  in  the 
fervent  hope  that  she  may  be  as  happy  in  her  marriage 
as  I  have  been  in  mine."  The  priest  having  pro- 
nounced a  blessing,  one  of  the  rings  was  given  to  the 
daughter,  the  other  to  her  betrothed  husband,  who 
placed  the  one  she  received  on  the  little  finger  of  her 
left  hand,  fastening  it  down  with  a  kiss.  This  finger 
is  called  the  "  heart  finger."  She,  however,  did  not 
keep  the  ring,  but  presented  it  to  her  future  husband 
with  trembling  hands.  He  again  kissed  her  hands 
and,  throwing  himself  at  the  feet  of  her  parents,  swore 
to  do  all  in  his  power  to  make  their  daughter  happy. 
While  her  father  was  filling  a  large  goblet  with  old 
Hungarian  wine,  many  pretty  compliments  were  paid 
to  his  daughter.  The  health  of  the  betrothed  couple 
was  then  drunk — first   by  the  father,  who  completely 


POLAND  217 

drained  the  goblet,  and  then  by  all  the  gentlemen 
present,  so  that  it  was  refilled  many  times.  Thus 
ended  the  first  day.  On  the  following  day  a  consulta- 
tion was  held  over  the  trousseau,  the  result  of  which 
was  that  the  lord  of  the  castle  put  down  one  thousand 
Dutch  ducats  with  orders  to  prepare  all  that  was 
necessary. 

Chamberlains  carried  the  news  to  all  parts  of  Poland. 
The  eldest  of  these  chamberlains,  all  gentlemen  of 
noble  birth,  attended  by  a  groom  splendidly  equipped, 
was  entrusted  with  letters  for  the  king,  the  princes,  the 
lord  archbishops,  and  the  chief  senators,  begging  their 
blessings,  and  saying  how  greatly  he  would  be  honoured 
by  their  presence  at  the  wedding. 

The  bridegroom,  it  goes  almost  without  saying, 
gave  costly  presents  to  all  members  of  the  bride's 
family.  One  day  the  whole  of  the  court  at  the  castle 
went  hunting,  according  to  an  old  custom  which  is 
supposed  to  bring  good  luck  to  the  betrothed.  They 
came  back  in  the  evening  with  the  spoils  of  the  chase. 
The  wild  boar  laid  at  the  bride's  feet  had  been  killed 
by  her  betrothed. 

For  several  days  the  ladies  of  the  house  were  busily 
occupied  in  making  useful  gifts  for  the  bride,  the 
mother  being  naturally  very  busy  with  the  trousseau. 
The  skein  of  silk  so  successfully  unravelled  by  the 
daughter  (by  which  she  fully  proved  her  fitness 
for  matrimony)  was  made  into  a  purse  for  her  hus- 
band. The  latter  then  left  the  castle  to  return  later 
on  for  the  wedding.      During  his  visit  he  confined  his 


2i8  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

attentions  not,  as  an  Englishman  would,  to  the  young 
lady,  but  to  the  parents  of  )\\'^  fiancee.  This  was  the 
strict  etiquette  then,  the  idea  being  that  the  true  way 
to  win  the  lady's  affection  would  be  by  pleasing  her 
family.  There  is  certainly  something  to  be  said  for 
this  custom — if  only  by  way  of  rebuke  to  those 
engaged  young  couples  in  our  own  country,  who 
constantly  go  and  sit  in  a  room  by  themselves,  regard- 
less of  their  relations  and  friends. 

Time  passed  quickly,  and  noble  guests  arriving  at 
the  castle  were  received  with  discharges  of  musketry  and 
troops  presenting  arms.     Bands  played  at  intervals. 

The  marriage  deed  was  drawn  up  in  the  presence 
of  all  the  assembled  guests.  At  last  the  wedding-day 
arrived.  Early  in  the  morning  the  bride  and  bride- 
groom went  to  church  to  confess  and  receive  the  Holy 
Sacrament.  The  priest  gave  his  blessing  as  they  knelt 
before  the  altar.  Breakfast  was  served  at  the  castle, 
after  which  the  bride  was  attired  in  a  rich  white  dress, 
with  Brabant  lace  worked  in  silver.  In  the  bouquet 
worn  at  her  waist  there  had  been  put  a  golden  coin, 
struck  on  the  day  of  her  birth,  a  piece  of  bread,  and 
a  little  salt  ;  when  this  custom  is  observed  they  say 
the  married  pair  will  never  be  in  want  of  food  or  funds. 
A  morsel  of  sugar  was  added  to  give  sweetness  to  their 
lives. 

Then  the  folding  doors  were  thrown  wide  open  and 
the  bride  appeared  supported  by  two  ladies.  She  was 
in  tears,  and  advanced  with  trembling  steps  striving 
hard    to    restrain    her    sobs.     The     bridegroom    came 


POLAND  219 

forward,  took  her  hand,  and  led  her  to  his  father  and 
mother-in-law,  before  whom  both  knelt  down  together 
to  receive  a  blessing.  On  rising  from  their  knees,  the 
bride  and  bridegroom  walked  all  round  the  room,  while 
each  person  present  wished  them  happiness.  Then  all 
proceeded  to  the  private  chapel  attached  to  the  castle, 
where  the  priest  stood  before  the  altar  on  which  an 
immense  number  of  candles  were  burning.  A  rich  cloth 
covered  the  altar  steps.  The  bride  and  bridegroom 
knelt,  while  bridesmaids,  groomsmen,  and  parents  behind 
stood  at  one  side.  The  Veni  Creator  was  chanted,  and 
the  priest  gave  a  long  discourse  in  Latin.  Rings 
having  been  exchanged,  the  newly-married  couple  threw 
themselves  at  the  feet  of  the  bride's  parents  to  receive 
their  blessing.  At  a  signal  from  the  master  of  the 
ceremonies,  an  Italian  vocalist,  sent  expressly  from 
Warsaw,  began  singing,  accompanied  by  a  band  of 
musicians.  Outside  the  dragoons  kept  up  a  continued 
discharge  of  musketry,  and  at  intervals  cannon  were 
fired  off.  At  length  when  the  noise  had  ceased,  the 
bride's  father  made  a  speech  which  so  affected  his 
daughter  that  she  could  make  no  reply. 

Dinner  was  served  in  the  great  hall.  The  wedding 
cake,  an  edifice  of  sugar  four  feet  high,  represented  the 
Temple  of  Hymen  adorned  with  allegorical  figures  and 
surmounted  by  the  arms  of  the  two  families  now  allied 
by  marriage,  surrounded  by  French  inscriptions.  This 
cake  was  the  product  of  a  fortnight's  work  on  the  part 
of  the  confectioner.  The  table  bore  many  other  beauti- 
ful things,  such  as  china  figures,  gold  and  silver  baskets, 


220  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

and  toast  after  toast  was  drunk  with  great  enthusiasm, 
and  a  tun  of  Hungarian  wine  was  emptied  during  the 
dinner  !  The  company  drank  to  the  newly-married 
couple,  to  the  State,  the  king,  the  princes,  the  arch- 
bishop, the  clergy,  and  lastly,  to  the  host  and  hostess. 
After  each  toast  glasses  were  broken  and  cannon 
fired,  and  a  blast  was  blown  on  the  trumpet.  When 
dessert  was  ended  there  followed  a  silence,  during 
which  the  father  called  for  the  master  of  the  household, 
and  in  a  low  tone  of  voice  gave  him  orders  to  fetch 
something.  This  proved  to  be  a  morocco  leather  box 
containing  a  golden  cup  in  the  form  of  a  crow,  studded 
with  precious  stones  ;  showing  it  to  the  company  he 
told  them  that  it  had  descended  to  him  from  a  long  line 
of  ancestors.  He  then  filled  it  with  very  old  wine,  and 
drank  to  the  health  and  prosperity  of  the  bride  and 
bridegroom.  The  toast  was  received  with  great 
enthusiasm,  the  music  became  louder  than  ever,  and 
all  the  guns  thundered  at  once.  Before  all  had  drunk 
from  this  beautiful  old  goblet,  a  hundred  bottles  of 
wine  had  passed  out  of  it.  In  the  evening  there  was  a 
grand  ball.  The  king's  representative  danced  with  the 
bride  by  way  of  "opening  the  ball."  Kirst  a  polonaise 
was  danced,  then  came  minuets,  quadrilles,  mazurkas, 
and  other  more  lively  dances. 

In  the  middle  of  all  this  dancing  a  curious  ceremony 
took  place.  A  chair  having  been  placed  in  the  centre 
of  the  room,  the  bride  sat  in  it  while  the  twelve  brides- 
maids unfastened  her  coiffure,  singing  all  the  while  in 
the  most  melancholy  tone,  "  Barbara,  it  is  all  over,  then — 


POLAND  221 

you  are  lost  to  us  ;  you  belong  to  us  no  more  !  "  Her 
mother  took  the  rosemary  from  her  hair,  and  a  little 
matron's  cap  of  lace  was  placed  on  her  head.  The 
dancing  then  recommenced,  and  each  of  the  gentlemen 
had  the  privilege  of  a  short  dance  with  the  bride,  her 
last  partner  being  her  father,  who  gave  her  up  to  his 
son-in-law  for  ever.  The  married  ladies  conducted  her 
to  the  bridal  chamber  with  tears. 


CHAPTER  XVI 

Germany. 

THE  Thuringian  youths  do  their  love  making  on  the 
way  home  from  a  village  dance,  or  fair  ;  and  a  swain 
puts  the  momentous  question  in  its  boldest  form.  "  Will 
you  have  me  ?  "  he  says.  "  I  should  like  to  marry  you." 
And,  like  Mr.  Barrie's  Thrums  lassie,  the  Thuringian 
girl  rarely  dares  to  refuse  the  first  man  who  asks  her. 
So  they  walk  home  happily  together,  and  look  upon  the 
matter  as  settled. 

Should,  however,  a  Schellroda  girl  (or  her  parents) 
wish  to  say  "  no,"  they  do  not  give  utterance  to  that 
disagreeable  little  word,  but  when  the  youth  comes  to 
make  his  offer,  they  put  a  sausage  on  the  table  during 
the  meal,  of  which  their  guest  partakes.  Whenever 
this  favourite  dish  appears,  the  lover  knows  that  his  is 
a  hopeless  suit.  He  must  either  seek  a  wife  elsewhere 
or  be  condemned  to  bachelorhood. 

Among  Bavarian  peasants  the  bride's  fine  eyes  are 
often  of  less  importance  than  the  "  fine  eyes  of  her 
casket,"  for  there  the  wooer's  ambition  is  to  have  a  wife 
with  three  thousand  gulden.  But  to  obtain  this  he 
must  himself  be   in   prosperous  circumstances.      When 


GERMANY  223 

the  matrimonial  agent  has  laid  the  proposal  before  the 
eligible  lady's  parents,  her  father  pays  the  youth  a  visit, 
during  which  he  inspects  the  house  from  garret  to 
cellar,  as  well  as  the  stables,  cattle  and  entire  farmstead. 
If  the  inspection  has  produced  a  favourable  impression, 
the  suitor  is  informed  of  the  fact,  not  there  and  then, 
but  in  a  few  days,  and  they  enter  upon  the  preliminaries 
of  marriage. 

Among  the  people  of  Saxe-Altenburg  (a  duchy  to 
the  north  of  Saxony),  suitability  of  rank  is  one  of  the 
first  considerations.  The  good  folk  are  nothing  if  not 
exclusive,  the  peasantry  being  divided  into  three  classes, 
according  to  the  nature  or  amount  of  property  they 
possess.  The  patrician  class  consists  of  proprietors 
who  have  at  least  two  horses,  and  is  further  sub-divided 
according  to  the  number — whether  two,  three,  four  or 
five — of  these  useful  animals  which  a  man's  stable 
contains.  Members  of  the  second  class  are  often  not 
inferior  to  the  first  in  wealth,  but  their  stock  consists 
of  cows  only  ;  while  day-labourers,  artisans,  and  the 
rank  and  file,  who  merely  possess  or  rent  a  house  and 
garden,  come  last.  It  is  not  an  unheard-of  thing,  but 
it  is  rare,  for  a  member  of  one  class  to  marry  into 
another.  The  proud  possessors  of  horses  do  not 
willingly  link  their  fortunes  with  those  who  have  only 
cows  grazing  in  their  fields  ;  and  it  would  be  a  distinct 
mesalliance  for  either  to  choose  a  partner  from  the 
ranks  of  those  who  have  no  cattle  or  fields  at  all. 

A  young  man  in  the  Upper  Palatinate  (Bavaria) 
gives  to  the  lady  of  his  choice  an   uneven   number  of 


224  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

coins,  which  he  has  obtained  by  exchanging  them  for 
some  of  his  own  money,  but  not  with  a  woman  ; 
neither  must  he  allow  any  of  the  fair  sex  to  see  them 
while  they  are  in  his  possession. 

A  young  Thuringian,  after  the  betrothal,  which  is 
usually  celebrated  in  the  family  circle,  gives  the  bride- 
elect  a  finely  bound  prayer-book  with  name  and  date 
on  the  cover  ;  and  the  Altenburger  orders  two  rings 
to  be  ready  by  the  time  of  the  feast. 

Like  the  Tyrolese  Procurator  the  bearer  of  invita- 
tions is  in  many  parts  of  Germany  one  of  the  most 
conspicuous  of  the  wedding  guests  ;  and  in  Saxe- 
Altenburg  this  office,  requiring  such  a  happy  combina- 
tion of  tact,  fluency  and  activity,  descends  from  father 
to  son.  When  this  person,  decked  out  in  ribbons  and 
wreaths,  arrives  with  his  message  of  invitation  to  friend 
or  relative  of  bride  or  bridegroom,  he  is  sure  to  receive 
refreshment  and  a  welcome.  In  some  parts  of  Thu- 
ringia  he  appears  a  week  before  the  joyful  day,  and  in 
Niedergrundstedt,  as  a  sign  that  his  message  has  been 
duly  delivered,  he  leaves  on  the  courtyard  door  a  chalk 
drawing  of  two  hearts,  inside  which  are  the  initials  of 
both  bride  and  bridegroom. 

The  condition  of  a  betrothed  maiden  in  the  Upper 
Palatinate  is  so  critical,  and  such  dire  consequences  are 
supposed  by  these  superstitious  people  to  follow  on  her 
simplest  action,  that  we  wonder  any  young  lady  in  those 
parts  ever  dares  to  contemplate  marriage  !  She  must 
particularly  avoid  contact  with  the  dead  and  dying,  and 
never,   upon    any    consideration,    lift    up   anything  she 


GERMANY  225 

finds  in  her  path.  A  young  girl  by  bringing  into  the 
house  two  horse-shoes  she  happened  to  find  was  believed 
to  have  caused  the  death  of  a  horse  ! 

Much  diff^erence  of  opinion  prevails  on  the  favour- 
ableness of  certain  times  and  seasons  for  the  celebration 
of  a  wedding.  In  some  parts  of  the  Mark  country 
(Prussia  and  Prussian  Saxony)  Thursday  is  a  favourite 
day  ;  in  others  Tuesday,  for  people  say  when  there  is 
a  marriage  on  Thursday  {Dormer stag) ^  there  will  be 
thunder  in  the  marriage,  "  so  donnerf  s  in  der  Ehe^'' 
or,  as  a  sailor  might  put  it,  the  pair  must  "  look  out 
for  squalls."  It  is  a  pity  that  on  such  an  im- 
portant point  as  this  there  is  not  a  clearer  agreement. 
Wednesdays  or  Fridays  are,  in  different  districts, 
selected  for  the  marriage  of  widows  and  widowers. 
When,  however.  Innocents'  Day  falls  on  a  Tuesday, 
that  day  is,  in  the  Upper  Palatinate,  avoided  the  whole 
year  through.  In  Thuringia  weddings  usually  take 
place  in  the  beginning  or  at  the  close  of  the  year,  and 
a  good  deal  of  attention  is  paid  to  the  signs  of  the 
Zodiac  ;  people  who  are  so  foolhardy  as  to  marry 
under  Cancer,  Scorpio,  Pisces  or  Libra  must  expect 
misfortune.  The  like  happens  in  all  parts  when  a 
couple  weds  when  the  moon  is  on  the  wane,  while, 
on  the  other  hand,  a  waxing  moon  betokens  increase. 

In  the  Upper  Palatinate,  where  a  bridal  pair  appear 
to  live  in  an  atmosphere  of  superstitious  terror,  there 
are  quite  a  catalogue  of  rules  to  be  observed  in  con- 
veying the  dowry-cart  to  the  husband's  house.  The 
bride  may  be   observed ,  following    it,    weeping    as    she 

16 


226  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

goes,  in  order  that  she  may  not  be  forced  to  shed 
tears  afterwards  in  her  married  life.  It  is  true  she  has 
taken  all  manner  of  precautions  to  ensure  happiness. 
She  has  sewn  five  crosses  on  the  bed-cover,  so  that  the 
witches  may  not  cast  their  spells  over  her  ;  she  looked 
to  the  spinning-wheel,  and  saw  that  it  was  properly 
placed  in  the  cart  with  the  distaff  side  towards  the 
horses,  so  that  she  need  not  be  afraid  of  dying  in  child- 
birth. And  should  she  be  a  Neukirchen  maiden,  the 
first  thing  she  carries  into  the  new  home  will  be  a 
crucifix,  or  the  pair  will  have  nothing  but  crosses 
during  their  married  life. 

On  his  side  the  bridegroom  is  equally  anxious  to 
avert  misfortune.  At  Tiefenbach,  while  he  is  helping 
to  unload  the  cart,  he  marks  with  consecrated  chalk 
every  article  of  the  bride's  household  goods,  making  on 
it  three  crosses,  and  sprinkling  it  with  holy  water.  In 
the  parts  of  Bohemia  near  the  Tyrolese  frontier  he 
must  be  liberal  with  his  money  on  this  day,  for  while 
the  cart  is  being  driven  to  his  home  the  village  lads 
bar  the  way  with  poles  or  ropes,  and  ere  they  will  let 
the  horses  pass,  a  toll  of  one  or  two  florins  is  exacted 
from  him.  Here  the  priest  enters  to  bless  the  house 
and  all  the  bride's  recently  transported  belongings, 
according  to  the  old  Roman  ritual,  "  Benedictio  thori  et 
thalamic  Nor  in  the  midst  of  this  season  of  rejoicing 
do  the  young  folk  forget  those  who  can  no  longer  take 
part  in  their  gladness.  After  the  bridal  furniture  has 
been  housed  and  arranged  the  pair  go  to  the  church- 
yard, and  kneel   down  to  pray  at  the  graves   of  their 


CQ 


•St 


GERMANY  227 

relations.     They  have    already    engaged  the  priest  to 
say  a  mass  for  the  repose  of  these  good  people's  souls. 

A  curious  custom  connected  with  the  Polterabend,  or 
wedding-eve,  obtains  in  Hanover,  Prussia,  Thuringia, 
and  other  parts.  The  village  children  fling  old  crockery 
against  the  door  of  the  bride's  house,  and  the  higher 
the  heap  of  broken  pieces,  the  more  happiness  will  be 
enjoyed  by  the  wedded  pair.  A  friend  of  the  present 
writer,  once  a  wedding  guest  at  a  house  in  the  old 
city  of  Hildesheim,  well  remembers  how  the  ancient 
entrance  door  shook  and  rattled  as  each  fresh  crock 
broke  against  its  panels,  and  the  glee  with  which  the 
youthful  hopes  of  the  Fatherland  disported  themselves 
amidst  fragments  of  jars  and  dishes  in  the  streets. 

The  Thuringian  lads  and  lasses  have  a  pretty  custom 
of  putting  pine  trees  before  the  door  of  the  bride's 
house,  and  decorating  them  with  wreaths  and  ribbons 
on  the  night  before  the  wedding  day.  The  custom  of 
preventing  misfortune  by  distribution  of  alms,  &c.,  is 
very  prevalent.  In  some  parts  of  Thuringia  the 
poorest  person  in  the  village  receives  a  slice  of  cake 
from  the  bride's  hand  at  the  house-door  on  the  day 
preceding  the  marriage.  The  young  couple  are  always 
mindful  how  frail  are  their  chances  of  happiness.  Do 
they  think  with  the  Greeks  of  old  that  felicity  excites 
the  envy  of  the  gods }  On  the  wedding-day  the  bride- 
groom of  Kalbar-Werder,  an  island  in  the  Havel,  near 
Potsdam,  sends  a  cart  and  six  horses  to  fetch  the  bride 
from  her  father's  house.  Other  guests,  her  relations 
and  parents,  are  content  to  ride  behind  four,  or  merely 


228  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

a  pair  of  horses  in  the  procession  ;  but  she  drives  up 
at  noon  into  her  future  husband's  courtyard,  as  she 
proudly  says,  "  in  a  cart  with  six  horses."  Could  a 
princess  have  more  ? 

The  Thuringian  bride  is  clothed  in  black,  with  a 
gorgeous  display  of  coins  and  chains.  On  her  head  she 
wears  a  tall,  tower-like  scarlet  covering,  round  which 
circles  a  wreath  of  myrtle  or  rosemary.  In  her  pocket 
the  Mark  girl  has  dill  and  salt,  as  a  protection 
against  the  evil  one  ;  in  her  shoes  she  puts  hairs  of 
every  kind  of  cattle  in  the  farmstead,  a  practice  which 
they  say  causes  the  flocks  and  herds  belonging  to  the 
young  couple  to  increase  and  flourish.  So  important  is 
this  matter  that  a  bridal  pair  coming  from  the  Altmark, 
a  district  of  Prussian  Saxony,  eat  ere  they  go  to  church 
a  soup  made  of  all  kinds  of  fodder  for  the  live  stock 
of  the  farmyard  ;  this  must  be  an  unsavoury  concoc- 
tion, but  the  eating  of  it  is  a  small  price  to  pay  for 
good  luck,  year  in  year  out,  with  the  lambs  and  pigs. 

The  bride  of  the  Upper  Palatinate  guards  against 
future  poverty  by  putting  in  her  pocket  a  pinch  of  salt 
and  a  piece  of  bread,  while  her  husband  hopes  for 
plentiful  harvests  because  he  carries  in  his  coat  pocket 
specimens  of  all  kinds  of  grain.  And  the  women  of 
Rauen,  in  the  Mark  country,  believe  that  in  tucking 
inside  their  gloves  a  broken  twig  of  a  besom,  they  have 
a  sure  charm  against  marital  ill-treatment. 

There  is  usually  a  breakfast  at  the  house  of  the 
parents  of  one  or  other  of  the  happy  pair,  before  the 
procession    starts    for    church     amid     the    scraping    of 


GERMANY  229 

fiddle-strings  and  the  blare  of  wind  instruments.  The 
Thuringian  bride  and  bridegroom  eat  soup  together 
from  the  same  plate  ;  but  in  doing  so  watch  each 
other  with  careful  eyes,  for  whoever  eats  the  last  spoon- 
ful will  be  the  first  to  die.  This  idea  of  future  widow- 
or  widower-hood,  one  would  think,  must  afflict  the 
young  couple  like  a  nightmare  during  the  wedding-day. 
On  the  way  to  church  the  bridegroom  of  the  Upper 
Palatinate  never  looks  behind,  or  the  old  wives  will  say 
he  is  seeking  a  second  partner  in  life.  If  the  procession 
meets  with  a  funeral  or  a  priest  on  the  way  to  admi- 
nister the  last  Sacrament  to  the  dying,  it  is  an  infallible 
sign  that  one  of  the  happy,  or  rather  unhappy,  pair 
will  soon  die.  If  a  light  on  the  altar  goes  out  before 
the  Elevation  of  the  Host,  the  bridegroom  must  first 
prepare  for  death  ;  if  this  happens  after  that  part  of 
the  ceremony,  it  is  the  bride  who  will  be  cut  off. 
Whereas,  if  the  priest  should  unfortunately  sneeze 
during  the  service,  neither  of  the  couple  can  survive  a 
year.  A  cold  in  the  head  thus  becomes  ominous  to  the 
last  degree. 

Now  is  the  time  for  spiteful  folk  or  rivals  to  do  an 
ill  turn  to  the  bridal  pair.  No  wonder  the  bride  with 
beating  heart  presses  up  close  to  her  husband  during 
the  service  so  that  there  may  be  no  room  for  the  Prince 
of  Darkness  between  them.  The  friends  often  form  a 
serried  rank  behind  so  that  neither  of  the  couple  may 
be  "  overlooked,"  for  great  is  the  power  of  the  "  evil 
eye "  at  moments  of  supreme  happiness.  Many  are 
the  ways  of  doing  mischief.     Take  one  of  the  bride's 


230  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

hairs,  plucked  from  her  head  as  she  entered  church, 
wrap  it  round  a  palm  twig,  and  she  will  certainly  go 
mad.  There  are  manifold  spells  that  the  simplest 
actions  on  your  part  will  throw  over  her,  causing  her, 
among  other  things,  to  be  childless. 

In  the  midst  of  these  foreshadowings  of  evil  the 
bride,  if  she  wishes  to  secure  her  position  for  the  future, 
must  be  careful  not  to  lose  her  presence  of  mind.  Can 
she  contrive  to  lay  her  hand  over  that  of  the  bride- 
groom while  the  blessing  is  being  pronounced,  she  will 
be  the  ruler,  he  the  ruled,  in  their  married  life.  After 
the  ceremony  is  over  she  may  by  various  little  ruses 
secure  for  herself  matrimonial  supremacy.  A  Tiefen- 
bach  woman  of  the  Upper  Palatinate  has  only  to  enter 
her  husband's  house,  when  the  feast  is  held  there, 
before  her  lord  and  master,  and  she  is  sure  to  have 
the  upper  hand. 

The  host  who  welcomes  the  bridal  party  to  his  house 
or  inn  for  the  wedding  meal  hands  a  glass  of  wine  by 
way  of  greeting  to  the  bridegroom.  The  glass  goes 
the  round,  first  of  the  male,  then  of  the  female,  guests, 
and  comes  at  last  to  the  bride,  who,  when  she  has 
tasted,  throws  it  away.  This  custom  of  first  drinking 
from  and  then  breaking  a  vessel  is  widely  spread. 
Occasionally  the  bride  throws  it  over  her  shoulder  ; 
sometimes  it  is  tossed  over  the  house-roof. 

In  Bavaria  the  so-called  "bride's  race"  takes  place 
before  the  inn  where  the  feast  is  to  be  held.  The  goal 
is  represented  by  two  bundles  of  straw,  which  the 
winner  carries  to  the  bride.     The   prize  of  this   race. 


GERMANY  231 

common  to  all  Germanic  peoples,  was  in  olden  times 
the  key  of  the  bridal  chamber  ;  this  has  now  been 
replaced  by  a  wooden  key.  In  the  Upper  Palatinate 
time  has  somewhat  obscured  the  origin  of  this  race. 
There  the  best  man's  hat  is  the  goal,  and  the  fleetest 
runner  obtains  merely  a  money  present  from  the 
bridegroom,  and  his  share  free  of  cost  of  the  wedding 
meal. 

At  the  wedding  feast  in  Thuringia  the  bridegroom 
waits  on  the  guests,  but  his  young  partner  does  not 
leave  him  to  hunger  while  he  attends  to  others'  needs, 
but  reaches  him  a  dainty  morsel  now  and  then.  She 
herself  must  scarcely  touch  food,  such  is  local  etiquette. 
The  bridegroom  opens  the  ceremony  of  "  pledging  the 
crowns "  by  toasting  the  bride's  wreath  ;  the  other 
men  follow  suit,  and,  each  receiving  the  tinsel  crown 
of  the  maiden  he  has  toasted,  puts  it  round  his  cap. 
Another  interlude  lightens  this  lengthy  meal.  In 
Bavaria  the  girls  escape  from  table  and  buy  love- 
favours,  which  they  pin  on  the  hats  of  their  respective 
swains.  Whoever  finds  a  girl's  favour  on  his  hat  is 
bound  to  toast  and  treat  her,  and  act  as  her  "  cheva- 
lier "  during  the  evening. 

In  Altenburg  during  the  dance  the  bride  loosens  her 
mantle,  so  that  it  may  fall  from  her  and  be  carried 
away.  In  Bavaria  the  wreath  is  the  symbol  of  maiden 
honour,  and  the  bride  parts  with  hers  during  the 
"  wreath  dance,"  the  principal  one  of  the  evening. 
When  the  time  comes  she  pairs  off  with  the  best  man, 
and  the  husband  dances  with  the  chief  woman  guest, 


232  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

Ehrenmutter^  who  is  always  an  ancient  dame.  The 
guests  line  the  room  and  make  jokes  at  the  dancers' 
expense.  Old  slips  of  the  bridegroom  made  long 
since,  scandals  he  has  half-forgotten,  are  raked  up 
against  him,  and  comments,  not  always  of  the  most 
flattering  description,  pass  from  mouth  to  mouth. 
The  Ehrenmutter,  as  his  partner,  comes  in  for  some  of 
the  raillery.  Inquiries  whether  he  would  not  like  to 
change  partners  with  the  best  man,  and  other  witticisms, 
not  of  the  highest  order,  resound  on  all  sides,  At  last 
the  welcome  change  is  effected,  the  bride  passes  back  to 
her  husband,  and  amid  universal  laughter  the  luckless 
old  lady  is  trundled  ofi^  in  a  wheelbarrow.  The  bride 
is  then  divested  of  her  wreath,  and  a  sprig  of  rose- 
mary on  a  platter  is  handed  to  the  young  husband 
with  a  good  wish. 

The  presentation  of  gifts  to  the  bridal  pair,  which  in 
a  general  way  takes  place  on  the  day  following  the 
wedding,  is,  in  the  parts  of  Bavaria  adjoining  the 
Tyrol,  a  feature  of  the  bridal  night.  The  procurator, 
or  master  of  the  ceremonies,  who  has  kept  the  whole 
gathering  alive  with  his  mirth,  now  stands  forth  in  the 
middle  of  the  room,  and  relates  at  great  length  in  verse 
how  a  sad  accident  has  befallen  the  crockery  of  the 
young  couple.  A  hen,  he  says,  and  thirty  chickens, 
flew  into  the  kitchen,  and  in  chasing  them  out  every 
pot,  cup,  and  saucer  has  been  broken.  And  now  comes 
the  moral  of  the  story,  "  Will  the  kind  guests,"  he 
asks,  "  who  have  eaten  and  drunk  of  the  best,  contri- 
bute   something    towards    the    needs   of    their    young 


GERMANY  233 

friends,  who  are  just  entering  upon  life  ? "  Such 
appeals  are  seldom  in  vain,  and  forthwith  the  guests  all 
rise,  and  going  to  the  table,  where  the  Ehrenmutter  sits 
awaiting  them,  one  by  one  hand  her  a  gift  of  two  or 
more  florins  wrapped  in  paper.  This  donation  forms 
a  useful  little  nest-egg  for  the  bridal  pair. 

But  now  others  clamour  to  share  in  the  liberality  of 
the  joyful  night.  The  musicians  gather  round  the 
young  couple  and  begin  a  serenade.  Suddenly  all  the 
instruments  go  out  of  tune,  and  there  is  a  woeful  dis- 
cord. The  husband  gives  them  a  small  coin  ;  still  the 
scraping  and  squeaking  continues,  until  at  last  the 
clinking  of  some  florins  purchases  silence.  The  inn 
servants  then  bring  in  broken  crockery  and  old  rags,  and 
the  bridegroom  finds  that  he  is  expected  to  repair  these 
miscellaneous  articles  with  a  douceur.  When  this  is 
over,  after  much  merriment  and  jokes  which  might 
shock  our  sensitive  ears,  the  bride  and  bridegroom 
leave  the  dance,  and  go  out  into  the  night  towards 
their  home. 


CHAPTER  XVII 

Bohemia,  Austria  and  Hungary 

T3EFORE  a  marriage  takes  place  in  Bohemia  the  two 

-*-^   families   about   to  become  allied  together   hold  a 

meeting  in  order  to  discuss  the  terms  of  the  bargain. 

They  sit  down  at  two  tables,  either  in  the  house  of  the 

future  bride  or  some  mutual  friend,  and  at  last,  after 

much    haggling   over   details,    the   matter    is    arranged 

more  or  less  to  the  satisfaction  of  both    parties.     On 

these  occasions  the  procurator  plays  a  leading  part.      It 

is  he  who  invites  most  of  the  relations  on  each  side  to 

the  above  meeting.     On   arrival   at   the   bride's   house 

before  the  meeting,  this  courteous  person  craves  from 

the  "well-beloved   mistress  of  the  house"  permission 

for  the  "  industrious  bachelor,"    i.e.^    the    bridegroom, 

to    enter.      His    mode    of   addressing   a    person    is   as 

follows  :   "  Honourable,  industrious,  kind,  well-beloved 

Brother-in-law,   Neighbour,  Godfather,   Master  of  the 

house,   or   Good   Friend,"  as  the  case   may   be.     The 

meeting  is  attended  by  the  bride  and  bridegroom,  but 

only  as  silent   listeners.      The  latter  is  accompanied  by 

his    father   and   godfather.     The  bride   usually  prefers 

to  be  out  of  sight,  and  hides  away  behind  the  stove. 

234 


BOHEMIA  235 

When  matters  have  been  arranged  the  procurator 
begins,  "  WeJl-beloved  brother-in-law,  neighbour,  &c., 
the  bridegroom  has  too  httle.  He  has  not  seen  the 
bride.  If  she  is  anywhere  near,  or  in  the  house,  I  will 
go  and  fetch  her."  But  even  after  this  summons  the 
shy  betrothed  one  remains  in  her  hiding-place,  while  a 
curious  ceremony  is  performed,  somewhat  similar  to  the 
Tyrolese  custom.  A  woman  is  brought  forward  who 
is  not  the  bride  ;  for  her  to  answer  the  summons  so 
quickly  would  hardly  be  considered  modest.  And  so 
some  servant  appears,  who  declares,  falsely,  that  the 
young  man  has  deceived  her,  giving  her  gifts  and  pro- 
mising marriage.  This  person  is  known  as  the  "  old 
bride,"  and  the  rather  compromising  accusations  which 
she  makes  against  the  bridegroom  are  made  partly  with 
the  object  of  getting  a  present  from  him,  partly  also 
with  the  idea  of  taking  away  as  she  departs  all  ill-luck 
from  the  house.  One  wonders  whether  she  may  repre- 
sent a  fairy,  or  perhaps  a  witch  ?  When  this  little 
comedy,  which  doubtless  affords  amusement  to  the 
guests  and  young  people,  is  over,  the  true  bride  is 
allowed  to  come  forward,  and  the  bridegroom  takes 
her  hand.  After  this  there  is  much  feasting  and 
dancing. 

Among  the  customary  presents  given  by  a  youth  to 
his  betrothed  are  such  articles  as  the  following — a 
rosary,  prayer-book,  silver  wedding-ring,  a  girdle  with 
three  keys,  a  fur  cap.  A  little  before  the  wedding  it  is 
usual  for  the  bride  to  send  her  future  husband  a  shirt 
sewn  with  gold  thread  and  coloured  silk,  and  a  wedding 


236  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

ring.       Friends    come    and    inspect   the   bridal    outfit. 
Invitations    to    the    wedding    are    given    by    the    pro- 
curator.    The    wedding    breakfast    takes   place   at   the 
bride's    house,    each    guest    receiving    a    handkerchief. 
It  is  now  getting  near  the  time  for  starting  off  to  the 
church,  and  so  the  procurator  comes  in  and   formally 
asks  for  the  bride.     The  father,  or  godfather   of  the 
girl  as  the   case   may  be,   is  expected    to    show    great 
reluctance  to  part  with  her.      When  the  request  is  first 
made  he  replies  that  he  must  "  think  it  over  "  ;   being 
asked  a  second  time,  he  says  that  he  has  been  dissuaded 
from  the  step.      But  when  the  same  request  has  been 
made  a  third  time  he  gives  way  and  answers,  "  All  in 
God's  name."     The  bride  at  last  comes  forward,  very 
bashfully,  and  kneels  down  on  the  threshold  to  receive 
her   father's,    or  godfather's   blessing,    before   she   goes 
in  procession  to  the  church.      First  come  the  inevitable 
musicians,  then  the  bridegroom  (in  a  fur  cap,  which  is 
de   rigueur).     At   a   little   distance  follows    the    bride, 
carrying  her  prayer-book  and  rosary.      She  is  expected 
to  shed  tears  of  grief  at  leaving  the  old  home.     The 
bride  wears — if  old  customs  have  not  quite  died  out — 
a  kind  of  crown   made  of  silver  wire,  and  round  her 
forehead  a  strip  of  black  velvet,  from  which  hang  little 
bells.      Pink  ribbons  adorn  the  back  of  her  hair.     The 
bridegroom  wears  a  tinsel  crown.      Before  the  service 
begins  the  groomsman  places  the  bride's  mantle  on  the 
bridegroom's  back,  so  that  his  body  is  quite  covered  by 
it.      This  curious  little  custom  is  evidently  of  ancient 
origin,    for    the    act     is     performed     for     superstitious 


BOHEMIA  237 

motives  :  it  is  to  prevent  a  "  marriage-devil  "  from 
creeping  in  and  dividing  two  hearts  which  should  be 
united.  The  bride  on  her  return  from  church  does  not 
enter  the  house  until  her  mother-in-law  has  come  out 
to  welcome  her  and  offer  a  cup  of  coffee  or  wine. 
Having  emptied  the  cup  or  wine-glass,  she  throws  it 
over  her  shoulder  to  see  whether  it  breaks.  Should  it 
not  do  so,  the  company  take  it  as  a  good  omen  for  her 
future  happiness.  The  festivities  are  kept  up  till  near 
midnight.  Two  slices  of  bread,  cut  from  two  loaves, 
are  given  to  the  newly-married  pair,  one  to  each. 
These  they  keep,  and  the  first  time  the  young  wife 
bakes  in  her  new  home  she  puts  some  of  this  bread 
into  the  dough-tub,  that  she  may  never  want  bread. 
There  is  an  idea  also  that  so  long  as  these  slices,  or  part 
of  them,  are  kept  in  the  house,  no  bread  ever  baked 
there  will  ever  turn  sour.  After  a  time  they  must 
inevitably  grow  mouldy,  and  the  one  whose  slice  first 
does  so  will  be  the  first  to  die.  On  the  second  day- 
there  is  more  feasting.  On  this  occasion  the  bride- 
groom himself  waits  on  the  guests  ;  his  brother  lends 
a  helping  hand.  I'he  inevitable  procurator  makes  a 
speech,  in  which  he  solemnly  offers  thanks  to  Almighty 
God  for  allowing  the  bride  and  bridegroom  to  be  spared 
to  see  "  this  honourable  day."  In  the  bridegroom's 
name  he  returns  thanks  to  the  bride's  parents  for 
kindly  lending  their  house  ;  to  the  women  who  have 
brought  round  in  a  cart  the  bride's  trousseau.  Nor 
does  he  forget  the  bride's  mother,  who  "  carried  the 
maiden    under    her     heart,    bore    her    with    pain,    and 


238  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

brought  her  up  as  a  Christian."  A  curious  game  is 
then  played.  They  take  a  hen,  place  it  on  the  floor 
under  some  kind  of  pot  or  vessel,  blindfold  the  boys, 
and  tell  them  to  try  and  hit  it.  The  one  who  is  so 
lucky  as  to  do  so  takes  the  hen.  The  bringing  in  of 
the  dowry-cart  on  the  wedding-day  is  rather  an 
important  ceremony.  Four  chamber-women  sit  in  it, 
spinning  as  they  go  along.  Spindles  are  given  to  bride 
and  bridegroom  to  unwind,  and  whichever  gets  the 
shorter  thread  will  be  the  one  to  die  first.  The  bride- 
groom is  asked  to  lift  a  basket  of  crockery  out  of  the 
cart.  Every  one  watches  to  see  whether  he  does  it 
neatly  or  awkwardly.  Should  he  be  so  clumsy  as  to 
drop  it  there  is  much  merrymaking  at  his  expense. 
When  everything  has  been  taken  out  of  the  cart  the 
bridesmaids  ask  the  husband  if  he  is  content.  "  Yes," 
he  says,  "if  you  will  get  me  the  best  thing,  i.e.^  the 
bride."  This  happens  late  in  the  day,  after  the  cere- 
mony at  church. 

The  people  living  at  the  foot  of  the  Bohemian 
Erzgebirge  have  a  custom  peculiar  to  themselves.  On 
the  morning  after  the  wedding  two  little  girls  enter  the 
bridal  chamber  and  put  on  the  bride's  cap.  Three 
times  they  set  it  crooked  on  her  head,  and  each  time 
she  puts  it  off.  Then  the  old  frau  comes  in  and  put  it 
straight.  At  breakfast-time  the  groomsman  conducts 
the  bride  downstairs  to  the  assembled  guests.  All  are 
expected  to  praise  her,  and  the  groomsman  has  the 
honour  of  dancing  with  her,  the  bridegroom  looking 
on.     Then  follows  a  mock  ceremony,  which  may  per- 


BOHEMIA  239 

haps  be  regarded  as  a  survival  from  ancient  days  ;  the 
company  pretend  to  put  up  the  bride  for  sale.  The 
husband  offers  a  few  gulden  for  her  and  is  allowed  to 
claim  the  fair  one  as  his  wife.  Then  it  is  his  turn  to 
dance  with  her.  She  must  dance  clumsily,  pretending 
to  be  lame,  so  that  the  company  may  tease  him  by 
saying  he  has  made  but  a  poor  bargain. 

The  Czechs  have  certain  customs  which  may  be 
mentioned  here.  On  the  weddingr-eve  the  bridesmaids 
and  certain  girl  friends  of  the  bride  meet  to  bind  the 
rosemary  twigs  for  her  wreath.  The  bridegroom  is 
admitted  as  a  special  privilege,  but  probably  because  the 
girls  find  some  amusement  in  teasing  him.  To  other 
men  it  is  a  case  of  "No  admittance."  The  eldest 
bridesmaid  takes  a  twig,  binds  it,  and  passes  it  on  to 
the  next  one,  who  adds  another  and  then  passes  it  on, 
and  so  the  wreath  passes  round  till  quite  finished. 

In  some  places  the  newly-married  couple  receive  their 
presents  on  the  day  after  the  wedding,  i.e.^  the  day  on 
which  the  bride  goes  to  her  husband's  house.  The 
ceremony  of  receiving  presents  somewhat  resembles  the 
taking  of  a  collection.  The  young  wife  sits  in  a  corner 
of  the  room,  with  the  women  around  her.  The 
groomsman,  placing  a  dish  on  the  table,  makes  a  short 
speech,  asking  the  guests  to  give  according  to  their 
means.  Each  male  guest  comes  up  in  turn,  puts  a  coin 
down  on  the  plate,  and  refreshes  himself  with  a  draught 
of  beer  from  a  mug  standing  on  the  table.  Then  the 
women  come  forward  with  their  gifts  of  flax.  Amongst 
other  presents  the  bride  finally  receives  a  cow,  a  sheep, 


240  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

and  a  goose.     She  then  takes  a  child  in  her  arms,  kisses 
it,  and  gives  it  a  coin  from  the  plate. 

In  the  neighbourhood  of  the  Riesengebirge  the 
maidens  come  in  the  evening  before  the  wedding  to 
make  the  bridal  wreaths.  The  youngest  bridesmaid 
makes  the  bride's  wreath,  the  eldest  that  of  the  bride- 
groom.  The  others  are  allowed  to  make  wreaths  for 
their  favourites  among  the  youths  invited  to  the 
wedding,  a  delicate  attention  which  is  doubtless 
appreciated.  The  girls  sing  as  they  make  the  wreaths, 
and  their  songs  are  of  love,  of  youth,  of  beauty  and 
marriage.  The  master  of  the  ceremonies,  however,  takes 
a  different  and  more  cynical  view  of  life,  and  so  speaks 
in  praise  of  a  bachelor's  happy  days.  During  the  meal 
which  follows,  he  places  three  dishes  before  the  bride  : 
first,  wheat,  symbol  of  fruitfulness ;  secondly,  ashes,  with 
a  little  millet  for  her  to  pick  out,  to  see  how  patient  she 
is  ;  the  third  dish  is  a  covered  one,  and  when  the  bride 
lifts  up  the  cover  a  sparrow  flies  in  her  face.  Is  this 
symbolical  of  anything,  or  only  a  joke  ?  Instead  of 
rice,  people  throw  peas  at  the  husband  and  wife. 

The  last  custom  we  mention  here  recalls  the  origin  of 
the  practice  of  giving  presents  to  the  bridesmaids.  It 
is,  as  already  pointed  out,  of  the  nature  of  ransom, 
and  has  been  handed  down  from  the  days  when  a  man 
carried  off  his  bride  in  spite  of  a  brave  defence  on  the 
part  ot  her  maidens.  When  the  dancing  is  all  over, 
and  it  is  time  to  deliver  the  bride  over  to  her  husband, 
the  girls  first  lead  him  up  to  a  figure  hidden  in  a  white 
drapery.     This  is  not  the  bride,  but  some  old  woman 


AUSTRIA  241 

of  the  house.  A  second  veiled  woman  is  then  brought 
forward  ;  but  again  the  husband  is  deceived,  for  she  is 
only  another  woman  of  the  house,  rather  less  old  than 
the  first.  At  last  they  bring  the  real  bride,  and  for  this 
service  her  grateful  but  impatient  husband  rewards  them 
handsomely. 

In  Croatia  the  bride  wears  no  wreath,  but  a  string  of 
pearls,  which  her  father  places  on  her  head,  giving  her 
at  the  same  time  a  little  slap  on  the  cheek  ;  but  the 
bridegroom  is  allowed  to  inflict  a  box  on  the  ear,  and 
rather  a  loud  one  too,  as  a  sign  that  he  means  hence- 
forth to  be  master.  The  bride's  mother-in-law  stands 
on  the  doorstep  of  her  own  house  to  receive  the  bridal 
party,  holding  in  her  hand  a  cup.  "  Mother,"  says  the 
bridegroom,  "  what  is  in  the  cup .? "  to  which  she 
replies,  "Son,  my  honey  and  thy  goodwill."  Coins 
having  been  thrown  in,  the  mother,  bride,  and  bride- 
groom all  drink  of  its  contents,  and  the  money  goqs  to 
the  bridegroom.  The  bride  then  throws  an  apple  over 
the  roof  of  the  house  ;  having  entered  the  house,  she  is 
led  three  times  round  the  hearth,  on  which  a  fire  is 
burning,  each  time  bending  down  over  the  fire.  The 
mother-in-law  sits  down  by  the  hearth  and  the  bride 
pushes  the  burning  logs  towards  her.  They  then  go  to 
the  well,  walk  three  times  round  it,  and  throw  in  apples. 
Here  again  is  the  Greek  custom  of  going  to  the  well  to 
propitiate  the  water-nymphs. 

The  romantic  marriage  of  the  late  Archduke  John  of 
Austria  with  a  daughter  of  the  people  was  much  talked 

17 


242  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

of  at  the  time.  The  Archduke  was  a  keen  sportsman, 
and  on  his  way  to  Styrian  chamois  grounds  frequently 
passed  a  certain  posting-station  on  one  of  the  Alpine 
passes.  Here  lived  the  pretty  Anna  Plochel,  who  made 
him  an  excellent  wife,  and  became  the  foundress  of  the 
still-flourishing  race  of  sportsmen,  the  Counts  of  Meran. 
It  is  said  that  he  first  saw  her  on  the  occasion  of  one  of 
his  frequent  winter  journeys  across  the  Alps,  when  she, 
dressed  up  as  a  postboy,  rode  one  of  the  leaders  of  his 
carriage,  which  otherwise  could  not  have  proceeded  on 
its  journey  over  a  snowed-up  pass  ;  and  he  was  much 
struck  with  the  courage  she  displayed. 

Among  the  gipsies  of  Transylvania  a  man  selects 
the  girl  who  happens  to  please  him  best,  and  leads 
her  before  the  judge  or  gako^  in  whose  presence  she 
breaks  a  jar,  or  dish,  at  the  feet  of  the  man  to  whom 
she  has  pledged  herself.  Each  of  the  contracting 
parties  collects  a  portion  of  the  broken  pieces  and 
carefully  preserves  them.  Should  these  pieces  be  lost, 
either  by  accident  or  by  design,  both  are  free,  and  can 
only  be  re-united  by  the  breaking  of  another  vessel  in 
a  similiar  manner. 

The  Saxons  in  a  part  of  North  Transylvania  have 
several  peculiar  marriage  customs.  P'irst,  with  regard 
to  courtship,  a  young  peasant  woman,  at  the  time  of 
harvesting  the  oats,  shows  her  preference  for  some 
particular  young  man  by  going  in  his  cart  to  help  him 
to  carry  in  the  oats.  One  may  sometimes  see  quite  a 
procession  of  gaily-decorated  carts  all  going  to  the 
field,  a  willing  maid  seated  in    each. 


I 


AUSTRIA  243 

The  happy  swauis  ride  like  postilions,  on  the  left 
hand  horse  of  each  cart,  and  are  dressed  for  the 
occasion  in  their  gayest  suits.  After  this  the  young 
man  must  send  an  intimate  friend  to  demand  the 
girl's  hand  in  marriage,  which  is  done  with  much 
formality  and  making  of  set  speeches.  Her  acceptance 
of  the  offer  is  celebrated  by  a  feast,  and  four  weeks 
later  another  banquet  takes  place  at  which  the  be- 
trothed ones  formally  exchange  rings. 

St.  Catherine's  day  is  a  favourite  one  for  a  wedding, 
and  a  good  many  couples  are  united  on  that  day. 
Half  a  dozen  young  men  go  round  on  the  Sunday 
before  the  wedding  to  collect  contributions  of  butter, 
eggs,  milk,  &c.,  for  those  houses  wherein  wedding 
feasts  will  take  place.  There  is  a  good  deal  of  mutual 
co-operation  ;  the  women  of  both  the  families  of  bride 
and  bridegroom  meet  together  in  order  to  bake  the 
cakes,  while  some  of  the  young  men  go  to  the  forest 
to  collect  firewood.  On  their  return,  a  curious  and 
playful  custom  is  observed.  While  the  men  are  away 
gathering  sticks  the  women  close  the  courtyard,  or 
stretch  a  rope  across  to  bar  the  way,  from  which 
rope  bundles  of  straw  are  now  hanging.  A  mock 
fight  takes  place  in  which  the  men  are  victorious,  each 
as  he  enters  the  courtyard  seizing  one  of  the  straw 
bundles.  These  they  open  and  examine,  some  find 
cakes  or  apples  inside,  others  only  egg-shells  or  bits  of 
crockery. 

Early  on  the  day  of  her  marriage,  the  bride  receives 
from  her   future   husband,  through    his    "  best    man  " 


244  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

(^wortmann)  the  "  morning  gift "  [morgen-gabe)  con- 
sisting of  shoes,  handkerchiefs,  and  other  useful 
articles.  She,  on  her  part,  presents  the  bridegroom 
with  a  shirt  entirely  made  by  herself  ;  this  he  wears 
on  the  wedding-day,  and  then  lays  aside,  as  being  too 
precious  for  daily  use.  It  is  kept  till  he  dies,  and 
he  is  buried  in   it. 

In  some  villages  it  is  usual  for  a  bride  and  bride- 
groom to  step  over  the  threshold  of  the  new  home 
with  their  hands  tied  together  ;  they  also  partake 
together  of  bread  and  wine  before  entering,  the 
bridegroom  throwing  the  glass  over  the  roof  of  the 
house.  At  the  feast,  all  the  guests  come  forward  in 
procession  with  their  gifts,  the  father  of  the  bride- 
groom laying  on  the  table  a  ploughshare,  as  a  reminder 
that  his  son  must  work,  and  doubtless  a  useful  present 
too.  His  mother  contributes  a  pillow  adorned  with 
ribbons,  the  bride's  father  presents  a  copper  cauldron 
or  kettle,  and  her  mother  another  pillow  decorated 
like  the  former  one.  About  midnight  the  bride 
"  dances  off  the  crown,"  the  symbol  of  maidenhood, 
This  is  done  with  certain  curious  ceremonies  which 
doubtless  are  of  ancient  origin.  The  married  women, 
joining  hands,  form  a  wide  circle  round  the  bride, 
and  dance  until  somehow  the  circle  is  broken  up, 
when  they  all  run  away  into  the  courtyard.  Then 
one  of  the  bridegroom's  men,  who  has  been  lying  in 
ambush,  rushes  forward  and  endeavours  to  rob  the 
bride  of  her  crown  ;  she  is  defended  by  two  brothers, 
or    other   male   relations,   but   the   young  man  always 


AUSTRIA  245 

succeeds  in  getting  the  crown.  Then  two  of  her 
own  women  step  forward  and  put  a  matron's  cap 
on  her  head.  Next  morning  a  cake  is  brought  to 
the  house,  of  which  both  must  eat,  although  it 
contains  certain  unsavoury  things,  such  as  cow-hairs, 
swine-bristles,  egg-shells,  &c.,  but  the  act  is  supposed 
to  ensure  the  welfare  of  their  cattle  and  poultry. 
And  here  we  have  the  custom  of  "  Ransom " 
turning  up  once  more.  The  day  after  her  marriage 
the  young  wife  goes  to  the  church  to  be  blessed, 
the  husband  meanwhile  waiting  outside.  Directly  she 
appears  outside  the  church  door,  the  newly-married 
couple  are  surrounded  by  a  crowd  of  young  men 
wearing  masks,  who  separate  them,  if  they  can,  and 
a  hand-to-hand  fight  ensues — probably  half  in  jest. 
But,  however  that  may  be,  the  husband,  if  he  cannot 
win  her  back  otherwise,  must  pay  a  ransom  for  her. 
A   dance    takes  place    near  the  church  door. 

Each  wedding  party — and  there  are  generally  several 
on  the  same  day — has  its  own  band  of  musicians,  con- 
sequently the  discordant  noise  is  terrible.  "  This  is 
nothing  at  all,"  said  a  pastor  to  a  lady  who  was  looking 
on  at  the  dancing  of  three  wedding  parties.  "  Sometimes 
we  have  eight  or  ten  weddings,  each  with  its  own  fiddlers 
— ^that  is  something  worth  hearing  indeed  !  " 

Among  the  Austrian  settlers  {handlers)  in  Tran- 
sylvania, the  men  have  a  novel  way  of  proposing 
marriage  ;  watching  his  opportunity  at  a  dance,  the 
lover  slips  into  the  hand  of  the  maiden  who  has 
stolen  his  heart  a  new  silver  coin,  wound  up  in  bright 


246  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

coloured  ribbon,  and  enveloped  in  a  clean  piece  of 
paper.  She  makes  no  sign,  but  consults  her  family. 
Should  they  consider  the  match  unsuitable,  the  coin  is 
returned  to  the  young  man,  through  some  male  relation, 
within  three  days.  If,  on  the  other  hand,  they  have 
no  objection,  nothing  is  done,  and  after  the  lapse  of 
three  days  the  lover  may  conclude  that  his  offer  is 
accepted. 

Among  the  Magyars  of  Hungary  the  customs  which 
we  are  about  to  relate  have  died  out  in  certain 
districts,  but  are  still  in  existence  in  other  parts  of  the 
country. 

A  Magyar  youth  has  opportunities  of  meeting  the 
maidens  ol  his  native  village  at  the  scarda^  or  inn.  It 
is  here  that  the  people  dance  together  in  the  evenings. 
The  scarda  is  to  the  Hungarian  peasant  a  kind  of  club, 
where  on  Sundays  and  fete  days  young  and  old  come 
together  to  enjoy  dancing  in  the  huge  tents,  gaily 
ornamented  with  flowers  and  branches  of  trees.  Music 
is  provided  and  the  picturesque  costumes  of  both  sexes 
lend  an  additional  charm  to  the  scene.  The  national 
dance  is  called  the  scar  das  because  it  takes  place  at  the 
inns.  Sometimes  the  music  is  very  gay,  at  other  times 
sad,  but  the  people  enjoy  it,  for  they  find  therein  an 
expression  of  their  own  varied  feelings.  At  one  time 
the  dance  is  a  stately  promenade,  at  another  time  comes 
a  whirling  movement  like  a  Highland  Fling.  On  these 
occasions  a  young  man  is  not  allowed  to  converse  with 
his   partner,  for   the   girls   are   all    under   the   watchful 


HUNGARY  247 

maternal  eye.  But  it  may  well  be  that  some  graceful 
maid  has  attracted  his  attention  ;  if  so,  he  waits  for 
another  and  better  opportunity  to  express  indirectly 
his  sentiments.  This  is  soon  afforded  by  a  second 
institution  of  the  country. 

When  winter  has  set  in,  and  the  fruits  of  the  earth 
are  all  safely  gathered,  the  young  people  spend  "  happy 
evenings  "  together  at  the  house  of  some  peasant.  The 
fondona,  as  the  institution  is  called,  takes  its  name 
from  the  simple  peasant's  house  (^fondond)^  and  is 
arranged  in  the  following  manner.  A  few  of  the  young 
women  consult  together  to  consider  where  they  can 
hold  the  meetings,  and  finally  ask  the  owner  of  a 
certain  house  if  they  may  go  there  and  spin.  Per- 
mission having  been  granted,  the  good  peasant's  wife 
becomes  their  chaperone,  and  in  return  for  her  kindness 
the  girls  give  her  what  we  should  call  "  a  benefit,"  or, 
in  other  words,  they  devote  the  product  of  a  whole 
evening's  spinning  to  her.  Presents  are  also  brought  in 
the  shape  of  food.  Fire  and  lights  are  provided  out  of 
the  few  coins  contributed  by  the  young  men.  And  so 
all  goes  on  merrily,  stories  being  told  and  riddles  asked 
while  the  spinning  goes  on.  No  words  of  love  may  be 
spoken,  but  what  of  that  ?  Cupid  finds  a  better  way, 
and  much  may  be  conveyed  by  a  glance.  If  the  maiden 
smiles  upon  him,  and  the  swain  thinks  his  chances  are 
good,  his  next  step  is  to  find  some  woman  to  go  to  her 
house  and  speak  for  him,  and  there  are  always  match- 
makers ready  to  do  so.  "  Please  be  prepared  for 
unexpected  visitors  "  is  one  of  the  phrases  employed  on 


248  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

such  occasions  by  these  go-betweens,  who  name  the 
suitor,  and,  if  the  parents  have  no  objection,  return 
to  him  with  the  good  news.  In  a  few  hours  he 
is  on  his  way  to  the  house  accompanied  by  a  friend 
who  acts  as  his  spokesman,  and  knows  the  speeches 
proper  to  such  occasions.  This  important  personage 
bears  in  his  hand  the  loving-cup,  and  wears  a  badge 
of  the  national  colours.  His  stick  is  ornamented 
with  ribbons  and  silver  bells.  Followed  by  the  would- 
be  bridegroom,  he  enters  the  cottage  and  addresses  the 
girl's  parents  somewhat  in  the  following  manner,  only 
in  verse.  "  It  is  known  to  you  through  our  envoyees 
the  reason  why  we  pay  a  visit  to  your  respected  roof. 
It  is  God  who  has  initiated  holy  union,  when  He  said 
to  Adam  '  It  is  not  good  to  be  alone,'  and  created  Eve 
as  his  partner.  This  gentleman,  having  considered  his 
fate,  wishes  to  take  a  wife  unto  himself,  in  obedience  to 
the  wishes  and  the  laws  of  our  Lord.  We  have  heard 
the  fame  of  your  daughter,  and  if  the  Almighty  has 
pleased  to  tie  in  a  knot  the  hearts  of  these  two,  it  would 
be  a  sin  for  us  mortals  to  untie  it.  Therefore  we  ask 
you  humbly  to  give  permission  for  your  daughter  to 
enter." 

Then  the  girl  comes  into  the  room  dressed  in  her 
holiday  attire  ;  the  "  loving-cup  "  is  handed  to  the  man, 
who  drinks  therefrom  and  then  gives  it  to  the  maiden 
of  his  choice.  But  the  young  people  may  not  yet 
consider  themselves  engaged.  "  There  is  many  a  slip 
'twixt  the  cup  and  the  lip  "  ;  or  in  this  case,  between 
the  ceremony  of  the  "  loving-cup  "  and  the  "  kissing- 


HUNGARY  249 

feast "  to  be  presently  described.  These  simple 
Magyar  peasants  appear  to  take  a  more  serious  view  of 
marriage  than  some  people  do  in  countries  where 
divorce  is  easily  obtained.  And  so  three  days'  grace  is 
allowed  in  case  the  parents,  or  either  of  the  lovers, 
should  change  their  minds.  The  youth  must  send  his 
envoyees  on  the  third  day  to  ascertain  if  all  is  well.  If 
not,  and  the  parents  have  thought  the  match  undesir- 
able, a  message  is  sent  through  the  envoyees,  couched  in 
some  such  terms  as  these  :  "  We  have  thought  the 
matter  over,  and  find  that  the  young  man  is  going  in 
the  wrong  direction,  and  not  in  the  way  pointed  out  by 
the  Lord,  so  you  had  better  turn  your  steps  to  other 
paths."  This  may  not  imply  that  they  have-  any  mis- 
givings about  the  character  of  the  lover,  but  probably 
only  that  the  girl  has  changed  her  mind.  If,  on  the 
other  hand,  his  suit  prospers,  the  messengers  return  to 
him  with  the  good  news  that  he  may  call  at  the  house 
and  see  the  family.  He  does  so  accompanied  by  his 
spokesman,  and  certain  set  speeches  in  verse  are  made. 
The  young  people  are  now  practically  engaged,  and 
towards  evening  go  to  the  priest  to  receive  his 
benediction.  On  their  return,  a  feast  called  the  "  hand- 
taking  "  is  made.  The  man  must  then  make  a  present 
of  money  and  a  betrothal  ring  to  his  fiancee,  who  gives 
him  in  return  a  silk  handkerchief  embroidereci  by 
herself  and  another  ring. 

For  two  successive  Sundays  the  banns  are  asked 
in  church,  after  which  follows  the  "  Kissing-Feast." 
After  supper  the  engaged  couple  are  allowed  for  the 


250  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

first  time  to  converse  alone,  in  a  separate  room,  where 
they  seal  their  vows  with  a  kiss — probably  more  than 
one.  The  wedding  takes  place  after  the  banns  have 
been  put  up  for  the  third  time. 

Nearly  every  one  in  the  village  is  invited  to  the 
wedding  feast  ;  and,  as  in  the  case  of  the  "  Penny 
Wedding "  of  Scotland,  now  abolished,  each  guest 
contributes  something,  it  may  be  eggs,  flour,  or 
wine. 

The  bridegroom's  spokesman  has  now  retired,  having 
played  his  part  ;  his  place  is  taken  by  the  best  man, 
who  goes  round  to  each  house  and  conveys  his  invita- 
tion in  verse,  in  the  following  manner  :  "Most  humbly 
do  I  implore  forgiveness  for  my  intrusion,  and  ask  you 
to  listen  to  me.  I  am  deputed  by  So-and-so  and 
his  wife  to  ask  you  politely  with  all  your  family 
to  partake  of  a  dish,  and  to  drink  a  glass  of  wine,  to  be 
followed  by  an  entertainment  on  the  occasion  of  their 
daughter's  wedding.  Bring  with  you  knives,  forks, 
and  plates."  In  the  original  the  expression  used  is  not 
"  wedding"  but  "  the  feast  of  the  seed  grown  beneath 
their  wings." 

These  people  seem  to  have  a  taste  for  speech- 
making,  and  more  speeches  are  made  the  day  before 
the  wedding,  when  the  best  man  comes,  with  several 
carriages,  to  take  away  the  bride's  dowry  of  household 
effects  to  her  future  home. 

The  next  morning  the  same  personage  comes  to 
ask  permission,  on  behalf  of  the  bridegroom,  to  take 
away    from    the    parents    their    daughter.      Once    more 


HUNGARY  251 

he  makes  a  speech  in  verse.  A  touching  scene  follows, 
as  the  girl  bids  farewell  to  her  home  and  the  old 
people.  It  is  a  gay  procession  which  then  goes  to 
the  church — not  on  foot,  but  in  carriages,  and  to  the 
strains  of  music.  But  the  final  leave-taking  is  not 
yet.  When  the  ceremony  at  the  church  is  over,  and 
the  happy  couple  are  at  last  united,  the  bridegroom 
must  go  straight  home  to  see  that  the  feast  at  his 
house  is  prepared,  whilst  his  best  man  accompanies 
the  bride  to  her  old  home.  She  does  not  stay  there 
long  ;  in  a  short  time  the  bridegroom  presents  himself 
and  asks  permission  of  the  parents  to  conduct  his  bride 
to  his  own  house.  Then  the  final  adieu  takes  place, 
and  she  is  led  with  much  ceremony  to  the  wedding 
feast.  Some  one  is  found  to  propose  the  health  of 
the  bride  in  verse,  usually  the  composition  of  a  peasant. 
Here  is  a  specimen  in  prose  :  "I  wish  your  two  hearts, 
which  have  been  tied  together,  every  happiness.  May 
holy  love  in  lasting  bonds  encircle  you,  so  that  God 
may  feel  delight  in  you.  May  your  union  blossom 
into  fruit  as  the  trees  burst  into  bloom.  May  the 
Almighty  surround  you  with  so  much  happiness  that 
it  may  weigh  upon  you  as  a  burden.  Finally,  when 
life  departs  from  its  seat  and  your  bodies  rest  in  the 
soil,  may  your  souls  joyfully  look  back  upon  the 
past,  and  be  received  with  greeting  in  eternal 
paradise." 

A  curious  old  custom,  which  even  now  has  not 
quite  died  out,  may  here  be  mentioned.  The  wedding 
procession  is  headed  by  a  cock  guarded  by   two  men 


252  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

with  drawn  swords.  As  soon  as  the  ceremony  is 
over  a  mock  trial  is  held,  and  the  poor  bird  having 
been  found  guilty  of  bigamy  is  solemnly  sentenced 
to  death  and  executed  by  two  men  with  swords. 
Apparently  this  is  intended  as  a  warning  to  the 
bride  and  bridegroom  to  be  faithful  to  one  another  ; 
but  perhaps  some  students  of  ethnology  may  be  inchned 
to  regard  the  ceremony  as  a  relic  from  heathen  times 
when  animals  were  sacrificed  on  such  occasions. 

At  the  conclusion  of  the  feast,  when  the  bride  has 
laid  aside  her  wreath  and  changed  her  dress,  yet  another 
opportunity  is  found  for  a  little  speech.  On  approach- 
ing the  large  tent,  where  dancing  is  about  to  take 
place,  the  best  man  steps  forward  and  addresses  the 
newly-made  wife  somewhat  as  follows  :  "  May  the 
Almighty  crown  this  head  with  every  happiness  in 
place  of  the  wreath  which  has  been  removed.  May 
Nature's  bloom  rest  on  this  face.  May  no  care  or 
burden  draw  sighs  from  these  lips.  May  she  live  in 
peace  and  happiness  with  her  husband.  May  the 
light  of  their  life  last  for  long,  and  may  its  flame  be 
extinguished  amidst  happiness  and  peace."  Then  the 
best  man  is  kissed  by  the  bride  who  takes  him  for  her 
first  partner  in  the  dance. 

Long  after  the  bridal  pair  have  retired,  the  village 
young  men  and  maidens  keep  on  dancing  vigorously. 
Needless  to  say  there  is  much  merry-making,  and  the 
long  day  or  night  having  come  to  an  end,  one  might 
conclude  that  the  wedding  ceremonies  were  all  over, 
but  such  is  not  the  case.     These  Magyars  are  so  fond 


HUNGARY  253 

of  festivities,  that  on  the  following  Sunday  the  wedding 
is  celebrated  over  again  at  the  bride's  old  home.  After 
that  the  young  couple  settle  down  to  the  routine  of 
ordinary  life. 

A  fuller  account  is  to  be  found  in  "  Hungary  and 
its  People,"  by  Louis  Felbemann,  from  which  the  facts 
narrated  above  are  taken. 


CHAPTER   XVIII 

Tl)e   lyrol  and  Switzerland 

VARIOUS  are  the  ways  in  which  maidens  silently 
reveal  their  preference  for  some  particular  swain. 

In  the  Tyrol,  if  a  girl  presents  her  lover  with  a 
bottle  of  spirits,  it  is  equivalent  to  saying  that  he  has 
found  favour  in  her  eyes,  and  henceforth  is  at  liberty 
to  visit  her  at  home.  If  her  parents  look  upon  the 
young  man  with  disfavour,  she  may  contrive  to  lower 
the  precious  bottle  at  night  from   her  chamber  window. 

In  the  frontier  valleys  of  Upper  Styria  (part  of  the 
Eastern  Tyrol)  invitations  to  a  wedding  come  through 
the  "  best  man,"  or  "  wedding-inviter  "  {Hochzeits- 
lader),  about  a  fortnight  before  the  event.  His  posi- 
tion is  in  some  respects  rather  a  delicate  one.  He 
goes  round  the  village  inviting  the  people  in  each 
house.  If  they  offer  him  foo^.  it  may  be  taken  as  an 
acceptance.  Should  they  deny  him  that  courtesy,  the 
probability  is  that  they  will  not  attend  the  celebra- 
tion. All  who  come  to  the  feast  are  expected  to 
contribute  towards  the  expenses  ;  the  result  of  which 
rule  is  often  a  good  many  refusals.  It  is  no  easy 
matter,  however,  in  spite  of  this  understanding,  to  tell 

254 


THE   TYROL  255 

of  some  people  whether  or  no  they  intend  coming  ; 
and  in  the  neighbouring  Bavarian  Highlands,  pro- 
fessional "  best  men"  are  employed  on  this  errand,  and 
they  very  rarely  fail  to  arrive  at  a  correct  conclusion. 
On  the  wedding  morn  a  curious  little  comedy  takes 
place.  The  groomsmen  call  at  the  bride's  house  with 
a  request  to  let  them  see  "  a  maiden  whom  they  bade 
pick  rosemary  and  darn  torn  linen,"  which  description 
is  presumed  to  apply  to  the  bride.  However,  instead 
of  her  an  ugly  old  peasant  woman,  bearing  a  bunch  of 
nettles  and  a  basketful  of  torn  linen,  is  brought  forward. 
Needless  to  say,  "she  will  not  do!"  Presently  the 
old  crone,  having  been  rewarded  by  a  little  present  of 
money,  departs  ;  a  second  appeal  is  made,  and  this 
time  the  real  bride  appears,  led  by  her  father,  and 
carrying  a  bunch  of  rosemary  in  one  hand  and  a  shirt 
(for  the  "best  man")  in  the  other.  The  feast  is  held 
at  an  inn,  and  as  the  bridal  party  approach  the  church 
where  they  are  to  be  married,  the  hostess  steps  forward, 
seizes  the  bride,  and  conducts  her  to  the  kitchen,  in 
order  that  she  may  "salt  the  kraut''  (a  kind  of 
cabbage).  As  she  throws  a  handful  of  salt  into  the  pot 
containing  the  kraut,  one  of  the  bystanders  repeats 
a  verse  bidding  her  to  "  salt  well  the  kraut,  but  not  her 
husband's  life."  The  party  then  proceeds  on  its  way 
to  the  church.  After  the  priest  has  given  his  blessing 
and  made  the  two  man  and  wife,  a  great  feast  is  held  at 
the  inn.  Late  in  the  evening  husband  and  wife  depart 
for  home,  where,  on  arrival,  they  find  the  entrance 
blocked  by   a  small  tree  ;  this  the   man   must  himself 


256  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

remove.  It  is  called  the  IViegenholz,  because  the 
custom  is  to  keep  it  for  the  purpose  of  making  the  first 
cradle. 

In  the  Unter  Innthal,  the  lover,  on  his  first  visit 
(having  previously  received  permission  to  come),  presents 
his  fair  one  with  a  glass  of  wine  from  a  bottle  he  has 
brought  with  him  ;  thus  reversing  the  custom  prevailing 
in  other  parts  of  the  Tyrol.  Acceptance  is  equivalent 
to  a  promise  on  her  part  to  become  his  wife — a  custom 
which  once  more  illustrates  the  importance  attached 
in  many  countries  to  the  act  of  eating  or  drinking 
together.  Should  she  refuse,  the  girl  means  to  confess 
she  has  only  been  playing  with  him.  One  who  has 
not  yet  made  up  her  mind,  puts  the  young  man  off 
with  excuses.  Should  the  wine  unfortunately  be  spilt, 
or  the  glass  broken,  it  is  considered  a  bad  omen  for 
the  future  happiness  of  the  lovers.  So  much  so  that 
the  peasants  say  of  an  unhappy  couple  who  do  not  suit 
each  other,  "  They  have  spilt  the  wine  between  them." 

As  in  Switzerland,  so  here,  the  bride  is  frequently 
stolen  away  after  the  wedding  !  This  is  done  for  a  joke 
by  some  smart  lads,  who  contrive  to  divert  the  bride- 
groom's attention  during  the  festivities.  Sometimes 
they  even  take  her  as  far  as  the  next  village  ;  and  if 
the  man  to  whom  she  has  been  married  is  unpopular, 
they  take  his  bride  to  some  inn  and  there  entertain 
her,  and  themselves,  until  quite  a  big  bill  has  been  run 
up,  which  the  unfortunate  bridegroom,  who  is  sure  to 
arrive  before  long,  must  pay  out  of  his  own  purse  ! 

In   these  parts,  widowers  who  marry  again,  if  they 


THE    TYROL  257 

are  known  to  have  treated  their  first  wives  badly,  are 
tormented  on  the  wedding  night  by  hideous  noises  in 
the  street,  old  kettles,  wooden  trumpets,  &c.,  being  used 
for  this  purpose  by  a  band  of  young  men. 

In  the  South  Tyrol  (Ampezzo)  weddings  take  place 
about  a  fortnight  after  the  betrothal.  During  this 
interval  the  bride  is  jealously  guarded  by  a  chaperon, 
who  is  known  as  "  the  growhng  bear  "  {Bronlola). 
When  the  lover  comes  to  visit  his  mistress,  any  love- 
making  the  young  people  may  indulge  in  takes  place 
under  the  eye  of  a  Brontola  ;  and  it  is  even  said  that 
she  inflicts  a  fine  of  several  florins  on  a  too  ardent 
lover  who  dares  to  kiss  his  fiancee. 

On  the  Saturday  before  the  banns  are  put  up  for  the 
first  time,  the  priest  examines  the  bride  in  the  Creed, 
the  Ten  Commandments,  and  the  prayers  of  the  Roman 
Catholic  Church.  Here  again  we  meet  with  the 
curious  little  comedy  of  running  off  with  the  bride, 
only  in  a  different  form.  Some  of  the  bridegroom's 
friends  carrying  her  away,  return  with  her  to  the 
church,  where  she  is  compelled  to  walk  three  times 
round  the  central  aisle  ;  after  which  they  take  her  to 
the  inn  where  a  feast  is  prepared,  for  which  the  bride- 
groom pays.  Nor  do  they  surrender  to  him  their  fair 
captive  until  a  handsome  sum  has  been  paid  by  way  of 
ransom  !  It  is  difficult  to  account  for  such  a  custom 
except  as  a  survival  from  very  early  days  when  the 
institution  of  marriage  was  not  in  existence. 

In   the  village  of  Pergine,   about    thirty   years   ago, 
several  other  curious  customs  were  still  in  vogue.      For 

18 


258  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

instance,  on  the  wedding-day  as  the  party  proceeded  on 
Its  way  to  the  parish  church,  it  was  accompanied  by 
several  of  the  bridegroom's  friends,  one  of  whom  held 
in  his  hand  a  stick,  to  which  was  attached  a  live  hen  ; 
while  the  other  held  a  spinning  wheel,  the  distaff  being 
wound  round  with  flax.  These  were  symbols  :  the 
hen  signifying  a  good  mother,  the  spinning  wheel  and 
distaff  referring  to  the  duties  of  a  careful  housewife. 
Also  when  the  service  was  over,  and  the  newly- 
married  couple  arrived  at  the  bridegroom's  house,  the 
door  was  slammed  in  their  faces,  whereupon  a  quaint 
dialogue  took,  place  between  the  bride  and  her  mother- 
in-law.  The  former  began  by  uttering  certain  words 
in  an  unknown  language,  the  meaning  of  which  had 
been  entirely  lost.  These  words  had  been  transmitted 
orally  from  one  generation  to  another,  and  it  was  at 
last  discovered  by  some  antiquarian  that  they  were  like 
those  recited  by  Roman  brides  on  these  occasions.  The 
mother-in-law  replied  by  asking  the  meaning  of  the 
bride's  speech.  Whereupon  the  newly-wedded  one 
would  reply  that  she  was  the  lawful  wife  of  the  man  by 
whose  side  she  was  standing,  and  that  the  church  had 
confirmed  their  union,  adding  further  that  she  would 
revere  the  parents  of  her  husband,  was  pious,  diligent, 
and  accustomed  to  hardships.  Then  the  relenting 
mother-in-law  threw  open  the  door  and  welcomed  the 
young  couple.  These  Pergine  customs,  being  known 
to  be  survivals  from  heathen  times,  have  of  late  been 
suppressed  by  the  clergv. 

In  the  West  Ty'^ol,  adjoining  the  Bavarian  highlands, 


THE   TYROL  259 

before  a  betrothal  actually  takes  place  the  parents  on 
either  side  formally  inspect  each  other's  houses,  with 
the  object  of  ascertaining  how  much  property  the 
family  may  possess.  This  visit  is  called  Auf  B'schau 
gehen,  and  the  young  woman's  fate  depends  very  much 
on  the  conclusion  arrived  at  by  her  lover's  parents.  Of 
course  it  is  not  in  the  nature  of  "  a  surprise  visit." 
To  give  no  notice  would  be  considered  impolite.  So  the 
young  man's  father  and  mother  send  word  some  weeks 
beforehand  to  say  that  they  are  coming  on  such  and 
such  a  day.  After  this  a  great  deal  of  scrubbing  and 
cleaning  takes  place.  When  the  inspection  has  come 
off,  the  lovers'  parents  retire  to  the  living  room  and 
hold  a  consultation  about  the  dowry.  Etiquette  for- 
bids them  to  say  whether  they  consider  the  sum 
mentioned  sufficient.  Should  they  arrive  at  an  adverse 
decision,  the  young  woman's  parents  will  hear  no  more 
of  the  matter,  and  the  proposed  match  will  be  "  off." 
If,  however,  they  are  satisfied  both  with  the  dowry  and 
their  inspection  of  the  house,  the  parents  allow  their 
son  to  visit  his  sweetheart  on  some  Sunday.  On  this 
occasion  he  comes  in  his  best  clothes  and  clenches  the 
bargain  by  presenting  her  with  a  sum  of  money, 
according  to  his  means.  The  youth  and  maiden  then 
partake  of  a  pancake  together. 

Invitations  to  the  wedding  are  given  by  the  "  best 
man "  and  the  girl's  brother,  who  accompany  each 
other. 

Entering  the  house  of  the  future  bride  the  "  best 
man  "  (procurator)  who  in   this  case  is  a  professional, 


26o  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

exclaims  :  "  Methinks  I  smell  a  bride."  A  search 
takes  place  and  at  last,  with  many  blushes,  she  comes 
forth  to  listen  to  the  set  speech  in  which  the  best  man 
conveys  his  invitation.  In  some  parts  this  important 
functionary  passes  the  night  in  the  house  of  his  friend's 
mistress  ;  but  until  the  time  comes  for  him  to  deliver 
his  message  he  says  not  a  word  about  the  nature  of  his 
business.  It  sometimes  happens  that  the  first  person 
invited  is  the  bride  herself 

In  visiting  other  houses  the  brother  of  the  bride  is 
allowed,  if  he  can  do  so  unobserved,  to  steal  a  hen 
while  his  friend  the  procurator  delivers  the  invitation. 
Hence  the  nickname  of  "  hen-prigger  "  applied  to  him. 
Perhaps  we  may  suppose  that  he  is  in  reality  only 
collecting  "contributions"  towards  the  expenses  of  his 
sister's  wedding-feast.  Should  he  be  discovered,  how- 
ever, he  is  liable  to  be  beaten,  or  even  ducked  in  the 
pond. 

When  things  have  been  settled  the  young  man,  his 
bride-elect,  and  his  procurator,  have  a  meal  together  at 
the  inn  ;  and  this  is  called  the  "  cabbage-dinner  " 
(Krautessen).  When  the  kraut  has  been  put  on  the 
table,  the  girl  asks  her  future  husband  what  he  will 
give  for  it.  "  I  want  none,"  he  says,  but  nevertheless 
bids  a  florin.  "That  is  too  little,"  she  answers; 
whereupon  the  best  man  says  he  will  give  two,  and  so 
the  bidding  is  kept  up,  until  at  last  the  betrothed  one 
gets  as  much  as  eight  or  ten  florins  for  her  kraut. 

A    great    variety    of    marriage    customs   prevails    in 


SWITZERLAND  261 

Switzerland.  In  some  places  a  wedding  is  attended 
with  full  ceremonial,  and  many  customs  which  have 
about  them  a  strong  flavour  of  the  olden  time.  In 
others,  where  life  is  harder,  perhaps,  or  the  people  poor, 
getting  married  is  a  very  simple  affair.  In  the  valley 
of  Anniviers  (Canton  Valais)  only  one  in  a  family  is 
permitted  to  marry,  and  thus  the  patrimony  is  never 
diminished.  The  family  conclave  decides  which 
member  shall  perpetuate  the  stock.  But  the  wedding 
furnishes  forth  no  merry-making.  At  daybreak  the 
pair  come  to  church  in  their  working  clothes,  and  after 
the  ceremony  each  goes  back  to  work  in  the  fields. 

Swiss  maidens  have  a  good  deal  of  liberty  allowed 
them  during  the  courting  period,  though  their  choice 
of  a  bridegroom  is  sometimes  restricted  to  their  own 
locality.  In  some  of  the  villages  in  the  Forest  Cantons 
all  the  youths,  as  soon  as  they  reach  the  proper  age, 
join  a  society  the  object  of  which  is  to  prevent  lads 
from  other  villages  coming  to  court  the  girls.  The 
lovers  of  the  village  give  the  password,  and  climb  to 
the  windows  of  their  fair  ones  at  night  unmolested. 
But  the  stranger  who  comes  courting  must  somehow 
manage  to  find  his  way  unobserved,  or  else  fight  his 
way  through.  Parents  do  not  object  to  this  somewhat 
unwise  custom  of  nocturnal  visits,  which  is  known  as 
the  Kirchgang.  Another  custom  closely  connected 
with  it  is  the  Maien-stecken.  In  the  Canton  of 
Lucerne  the  lover  anxious  to  do  honour  to  his  mistress 
plants  before  her  home,  on  the  first  day  of  May,  a 
small  pine  tree  gaily  ornamented  with  ribbons.      This 


262  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

is  regarded  as  a  proof  of  great  devotion,  and  the 
parents  entertain  him  very  hospitably.  Less  acceptable 
attentions  are  sometimes  received  by  girls  who  spurn 
the  young  men  of  their  own  village.  A  straw  puppet 
is  suspended  before  the  girl's  window,  or  the  farmer's 
best  waggon  is  found  to  have  been  turned  upside  down 
on  the  green. 

In  the  Canton  of  Lucerne  weddings  usually  take 
place  on  a  Monday  in  carnival  time,  and  February  is 
generally  considered  a  lucky  month.  During  the 
period  between  the  publication  of  the  banns  and  the 
marriage  the  powers  of  evil  are  supposed  in  many 
places  to  be  unusually  active.  In  consequence  of  this 
the  bridal  pair  do  not  leave  home  after  nightfall,  or 
nobody  knows  what  might  happen.  There  is,  how- 
ever, much  to  be  done  indoors  by  way  of  preparations 
for  the  wedding.  Invitations  are  sent  round  beforehand 
to  all  the  guests.  In  SchafFhausen  the  bearer  of  these 
is  the  bridegroom's  tailor  ;  in  the  valley  of  the  Thur, 
the  village  schoolmaster.  Armed  with  a  red  umbrella, 
and  wearing  on  his  hat  a  tinsel  wreath,  this  important 
functionary  starts  on  his  rounds.  At  each  house  he 
delivers  a  set  speech,  to  which  every  one  crowds  to 
listen,  and  at  the  end  names  the  sum  to  be  paid  by 
a  guest  for  his  share  in  the  entertainment  given  at 
the  village  tavern  in  celebration  of  the  event. 

Meanwhile  the  bride  has  been  putting  the  last 
touches  to  the  trousseau,  and  in  the  neighbourhood  of 
Baden  (Aargan)  some  days  before  the  wedding  the 
dowry-cart    is    driven,   amid  general   rejoicing,    to   the 


SWITZERLAND  263 

bridegroom's  house.  The  driver  has  a  nosegay  in  his 
hat,  and,  in  many  places,  the  manes  and  tails  of  the 
horses  are  gaily  decorated  with  red  ribbon,  save  when 
the  bridegroom  is  a  miller  or  baker,  then  blue  is  the 
colour  chosen  for  this  purpose.  A  sympathetic  crowd 
of  wide-eyed  villagers  gather  to  watch  the  loading  of 
the  cart.  Great  care  must  be  taken  as  to  the  disposi- 
tion of  the  bridal  furniture.  Above  all,  the  foot  of 
the  bed  must  be  placed  so  as  to  point  in  the  direction 
of  the  new  home,  or  the  young  wife  will  soon  return  to 
her  parents'  house  to  escape  the  miseries  of  her  married 
life.  After  setting  forth  the  driver  presently  finds  his 
course  barred  by  the  ropes  the  village  lads  have 
stretched  across  the  roadway,  and  these  demand  toll  of 
the  bridegroom  before  they  let  the  cart  pass.  Should 
he  refuse  they  will  indeed  let  him  through,  but  with 
firing  off  of  pistol  and  blunderbuss,  and  the  niggardly 
youth  has  to  submit  to  the  shame  of  having  his  bride 
"  shot  away  "   from  her  native  village. 

A  pretty  custom  is  kept  up  by  the  maidens  of  Lucerne. 
They  meet  on  the  wedding  eve  at  the  bridegroom's 
house,  and  make  buttonholes  and  nosegays  for  the  lads 
they  like  best  to  wear  on  the  following  day.  When 
the  work  is  done  each  maiden  leaves  the  gift  at  her 
favourite's  dwelling.  In  Tagerfelden  the  making  of 
the  red  kerchiefs,  which  are  distributed  among  the 
wedding  guests,  is  committed  on  that  day  to  the  girl 
companions  of  the  bride.  In  some  places  the  bride, 
in  others  the  bridesmaid  and  groomsman,  receive  new 
shoes  as  a  gift  from  the  bridegroom. 


264  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

The  services  of  the  orator  who  has  borne  the  invita- 
tions are  put  into  requisition  early  on  the  morrow.  In 
the  Thur  Valley  he  accompanies  the  bridegroom  to  the 
bride's  house,  where  they  breakfast  together,  after 
which  he  makes  a  long  speech  to  the  father  and  mother, 
recounting  to  them  all  the  noble  qualities  of  the  bride- 
groom, and  beseeching  them  to  give  their  daughter 
willingly  away,  as  he  is  sure  a  long  life  of  happiness  is 
in  store  for  her.  A  rival  orator  then  "  takes  the 
word,"  and  presents  the  reverse  side  of  the  shield, 
enumerates  all  the  difficulties  of  the  new  position,  and 
dwells  on  the  virtues  of  the  bride.  When  the  time  for 
the  ceremony  approaches,  it  is  often  a  matter  of  some 
difficulty  to  get  possession  of  the  lady's  person.  At 
Sobrio,  in  Livenea,  when  the  bridegroom  and  his  com- 
panions come  to  her  father's  house  to  seek  her,  the 
parents  offer  as  a  substitute  old  hunchbacked  women, 
or  even  large  dolls.  At  Tagerfelden  it  falls  to  the  lot 
of  the  orator  to  demand  the  bride.  Guests  and  musi- 
cians are  waiting,  all  is  in  readiness  ;  but  the  lady, 
playing  the  old  comedy  of  womanly  reluctance,  is 
upstairs  locked  in  her  chamber.  The  mother,  how- 
ever, is  amenable  to  reason,  and,  after  listening  to  the 
orator's  delivery  of  the  customary  speech,  and  receiving 
a  silver  coin,  called  "  The  key  of  the  bridal  chamber," 
brings  her  daughter  forth. 

The  bride  then  departs  with  her  betrothed  for 
church  midst  prayers,  tears,  and  good  wishes,  while 
to  keep  up  her  spirits  musicians  cheer  her  with  their 
songs.      In    the   villages   near  Wiesen   (Grisons)  she    is 


SWITZERLAND  265 

always  dressed  in  black,  and  wears  on  her  head  a 
wreath  of  orange  blossoms,  while  a  pigtail  of  the  same 
flowers  reaches  below  her  waist.  Those  of  the  wedding 
guests  who  wish  to  do  much  honour  to  the  occasion 
also  appear  in  black,  and  doubtless  give  to  the  wedding 
procession  something  of  a  funereal  aspect.  During  the 
ceremony  the  bridal  pair,  say  the  people  of  Obwalden, 
must  kneel  so  close  together  that  no  gap  is  left,  and 
those  behind  cannot  see  when  they  join  hands,  a 
precaution  taken,  maybe,  to  ensure  that  no  division 
may  come  between  them  in  after  life.  Many  eyes 
are  meanwhile  directed  toward  the  two  candles,  one 
burning  on  each  side  of  the  altar.  If  either  of  them 
burns  feebly  or  goes  out,  that  betokens  death  to  the 
one  whose  place  is  on  the  corresponding  side.  This 
curious  superstition  is  remarkably  similar  to  one  in 
China. 

An  important  role  in  the  wedding  functions  is  played 
by  the  "  yellow  woman,"  or  gelbe  fraii  (so  called  from 
the  story  of  Ostara  and  the  yellow  slippers),  a  mistress 
of  the  ceremonies,  often  the  godmother  of  the  bride. 
She  may  be  seen  in  Lucerne  walking  at  the  head  of 
the  women  guests,  bearing  a  basket  filled  with  kerchiefs 
for  distribution  amongst  the  party.  In  return  for  these 
she  receives,  like  the  Tyrolese  Ehrenmutter,  the  money 
presents  destined  for  the  bridal  pair  at  the  inn  where 
the  feast  takes  place.  Hers,  too,  is  the  task  of  taking 
off"  and  burning  the  wreath,  symbol  of  the  bride's 
virginity,  during  a  special  dance.  If  this  is  quickly 
consumed  it  is  a  happy  omen  ;  should  it  smoulder  a 


266  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

long  time,  there  is  trouble  in  store.  So  much  is  the 
smouldering  dreaded  that  in  Obwalden  the  young  wife 
and  her  companion  poke  the  fire  fiercely  to  make  it 
blaze,  and  then  kneel  down  to  pray  for  good  fortune 
while  the  wreath  is  burning. 

At  Baumgarten  the  "  yellow  woman  "  has  to  perform 
a  delicate  office.  During  the  wedding  feast  she  wipes 
from  the  bride's  eyes  the  tears  which  every  well- 
trained  and  decorous  maiden  should  shed  at  the 
prospect  of  leaving  her  parents'  home.  Whether  she 
laughs  or  weeps,  the  bride  of  the  Thur  Valley  comes 
off  poorly  at  the  wedding  meal.  She  may  only  eat 
what  the  groomsman  places  stealthily  on  her  plate,  and 
she  must  beware  of  this  friend's  advances,  and  see  that 
he  does  not  in  the  meantime  remove  her  shoe,  or  else 
the  wedded  couple  will  come  in  for  a  good  deal  of 
banter  and  merriment. 

When  the  dancing,  feasting,  and  merry-making  is 
over,  the  neighbours  prepare  to  accompany  the  bridal 
pair  to  their  dwelling.  Many  quaint  customs  con- 
nected with  the  bride's  home-coming  once  prevailed 
in  French  Switzerland,  but  have  now  fallen  into  disuse. 
On  arriving  at  the  bridegroom's  house,  which  was 
bright  with  wreaths  of  roses  and  marigold,  an  old 
woman  met  her,  hung  the  housewife's  keys  about  her 
waist,  and  scattered  three  handfuls  of  wheat  over  her 
head.  Then  the  husband,  lifting  her  in  his  arms, 
entered  the  house,  so  that  her  foot  never  touched 
the  oil-smeared  threshold. 

At  Stilli,  in   the  Aar  Valley,  according  to  an  old  and 


SWITZERLAND  267 

now  obsolete  custom,  the  bridegroom  and  his  parents 
left  the  inn  a  {qw  minutes  before  the  bride  and  guests. 
On  reaching  home  they  fastened  every  door  and  win- 
dow, drew  every  bolt  and  bar,  so  that  the  house 
presented  a  very  inhospitable  front  when  the  young 
wife  and  groomsman  appeared  before  it.  The  grooms- 
man rapped  the  door  sharply  with  the  "  bridestick." 
"Who  is  there?"  said  a  voice  from  behind  the  window- 
shutter. 

"A  young  woman,"  answered  the  groomsman,  "who 
wishes  to  be  received  into  your  house." 

"  That  is  a  great  deal  to  ask,"  said  the  father-in- 
law  from  within.  "  Is  she  virtuous,  industrious,  and 
orderly  ^  " 

The  groomsman  declared  that  she  excelled  in  all 
these  qualities. 

"  Can  she  cook,  bake,  wash,  spin,  sew,  and  knit  ^  " 
persisted  the  father-in-law. 

The  groomsman  assured  him  she  was  perfect  in  all 
these  accomplishments,  and  then  the  door  was  thrown 
open  by  way  of  welcome,  and  the  bride  entered  the 
house. 


CHAPTER    XIX 

Italy ^  Spain  and  Portugal 

'  I  'HE  good  old  custom  of  "  keeping  company,"  as 
*-  distinct  from  being  formally  engaged,  obtains  among 
the  gondoliers'  families  at  Venice.  When  a  young 
man  finds  that  a  damsel  eyes  his  suit  with  favour,  he 
informs  a  friend,  and  the  two  don  their  best  clothes 
and  make  a  ceremonious  call  upon  the  girl's  father. 
If  the  parents  are  satisfied,  a  certain  trial  time  of  some 
months  is  arranged  for,  and  the  young  people  see 
what  they  can  of  each  other,  or  "  keep  company " 
during  this  period.  When  this  is  past,  if  they  have 
meanwhile  discovered  that  their  tempers  are  incom- 
patible, the  matter  drops.  If,  on  the  other  hand,  all 
goes  well,  the  young  man,  his  parents  and  relatives, 
visit  the  girl's  father  and  make  a  formal  demand  for 
her  hand  in  marriage.  A  day  or  two  later  the  be- 
trothal is  celebrated,  when  the  lover  presents  his 
mistress  with  a  wedding  and  other  rings,  which  must 
all  be  returned  should  the  lady  prove  fickle.  Mr. 
Horatio  Brown  '  says  that  in  the  province  of   Udine 

'    "  Life  on  the  Lagoons." 
268 


ITALY  269 

a  jilt  must  present  her  former  Jiancd  with  a  pair  of 
shoes,  as  compensation  for  the  time  he  has  wasted  in 
fruitless  courtship. 

The  Venetian  lover  is  exceedingly  attentive  ;  he 
makes  certain  regulation  presents  according  to  the 
season — at  Easter  a  cake,  on  St.  Mark's  Day  a 
buttonhole  of  rosebuds,  at  Martinmas  roast  chestnuts, 
at  Christmas  a  box  of  almond  paste  and  a  jar  con- 
taining a  curious  confection  of  fruit  and  raw  mustard 
seed.  The  girl  gives  in  return  neckties  and  kerchiefs 
embroidered  with  his  name,  or  two  hearts,  as  a  tribute 
of  her  affection.  But  both  must  beware  of  making 
presents  which  bring  ill-luck,  such  as  pictures  of  saints 
or  books.  To  do  so  is  to  court  misfortune.  Neither 
should  any  person  offer  a  comb,  clearly  because 
witches  so  often  use  one  ;  scissors,  not,  as  the  northern 
people  say,  because  they  cut  love,  but  because  in  Venice 
they  signify  a  sharp  tongue. 

A  Tuscan  youth  visits  his  innamorata  on  feast  days, 
bringing  as  an  offering  a  carnation  or  a  rose.  When 
poetically  inclined  he  also  composes  verses  in  her  praise. 
In  due  time  the  house-father  (capoccio)^  who  rules  the 
bridegroom's  family,  demands  the  girl's  hand  for  his 
kinsman,  and  a  feast  celebrates  the  conclusion-  of  the 
business.  A  curious  piece  of  conventionality  hems  in 
the  Tuscan  maiden.  Just  as  among  old-fashioned  folk 
in  England  at  the  beginning  of  the  century  it  was 
thought  incorrect  for  a  betrothed  girl  to  visit  her 
future  husband's  house,  so  the  young  Tuscan  peasant 
of  our   day   is   ordered,   as   she   values    her    reputation, 


270  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

never  to  approach   her    lover's  dvvelUng,   and  even   in 
her  walks  to  avoid  it   (compare  Melanesia,  p.    i6i). 

A  valuer  has  meanwhile  drawn  up  an  inventory  of 
the  bride's  belongings,  and  this  paper  is  delivered  to 
the  capoccio  of  the  bridegroom's  house.  Should  the 
young  man  die  without  children,  the  widow  receives 
back  the  full  vahie  of  all  she  brought  to  her  husband. 
Her  dowry  invariably  consists  of  some  clothes  and 
linen,  a  bed,  and  a  pearl  necklace  worth  from  _^5  to 
^loo  ;  or  if  her  family  are  too  poor  to  buy  pearls  of 
this  value  she  must  be  content  with  coral.  In  the 
north  of  Italy  the  dowry  consists  of  gold  ornaments, 
and  a  bride  will  sometimes  have  as  many  as  twenty- 
three  gold  rings  upon  her  fingers  at  the  wedding. 
The  Venetian  fiancee  knows  that  she  must  provide,  if 
possible,  the  furniture  of  the  household,  but  if  her 
means  are  not  adequate  to  such  a  purchase,  the  bed- 
room furniture,  consisting  of  a  bed  of  walnut  wood,  six 
chairs,  two  chests  of  drawers  and  a  looking-glass.  This 
is  invariably  expected  of  her.  She  brings  also  an  array 
of  copper  pots,  which  hang  from  the  beams  of  the 
kitchen  roof.  These  become  heirlooms  and  are  por- 
tioned out  to  the  daughters  of  the  house  as  they 
marry.  In  many  parts  of  Italy  the  dowry  is  brought 
with  great  pomp  to  the  bridegroom's  house  the  day 
before  the  wedding.  A  friend  of  the  present  writer 
met  a  cart  drawn  by  white  oxen,  decked  with  gorgeous 
head-fringes,  on  the  road  between  Scirollo  and  Loteto. 
The  cart  was  laden  with  linen  and  household  goods, 
two  immense  and  gaily  decorated   pillows  topping  the 


ITALY  271 

pile.  The  bride's  mother  and  friends  followed,  on  their 
way  to  make  up  the  nuptial  bed. 

Before  the  wedding-day  the  Venetian  bridegroom 
must  seek  out  a  suitable  "  best  man."  This  is  not 
always  an  easy  matter,  for  the  duties  of  that  functionary 
are  heavy,  and  entail  no  little  expense  on  any  one  who 
wishes  to  acquit  himself  of  the  task  with  eclat.  On  the 
day  before  the  wedding  he  must  send  a  box  of  bon- 
bons, on  the  top  of  which  is  a  little  sugar  baby,  to  the 
bride's  house,  with  two  bouquets,  one  of  real  and  one 
of  artificial  flowers,  and  a  present  of  jewelry,  a  brooch 
or  earrings.  It  falls  to  his  lot  to  provide  liqueurs  and 
wine  for  the  wedding  supper,  four  candles  for  the 
wedding  mass,  four  gondolas  to  convey  the  guests  to 
the  inn  for  supper,  and  satisfy  the  demands  of  beggars 
and  children,  who  cry  "  Evviva  la  sposa^'  at  the 
church  door.    A  compare  s  hand  is  always  in  his  pocket. 

In  Italy  the  dread  of  a  wedding  in  May  seems  to  be 
universal,  and  in  Venice  people  marrying  are  very 
much  restricted  with  regard  to  suitable  days.  When 
all  is  said,  Sunday  is  the  only  time  when  the  nuptial 
knot  can  be  tied  with  any  prospect  of  future  happiness 
for  the  bridal  pair.  Saturday  is  indeed  an  exception  to 
this  rule,  but  then  it  is  reserved  for  widows.  "  Marry 
on  Monday  and  you  are  sure  to  go  mad  ;  on  Tuesday, 
and  there  is  the  prospect  of  endless  suffering  before 
you  ;  "  while  Thursday,  as  the  witches'  combing-day, 
is  out  of  the  question.  There  are  no  doubt  equally 
cogent  reasons  why  Wednesday  and  Friday  should  be 
rejected. 


272  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

In  Venice  they  prefer  to  be  married  at  the  earliest 
morning  mass  ;  in  some  parts  of  the  Val  d'Arno  after 
sundown.  The  Tuscan  bride  wears  a  black  dress,  with 
a  white  bonnet  or  cap,  while  even  in  the  coldest 
weather  she  carries  a  fan.  No  bridesmaids,  but  only 
married  women  accompany  her  to  church,  as  no  un- 
married girl  is  allowed  to  witness  a  wedding.  Her 
mother-in-law,  or  the  house-mother  {jnessaid)  of  her 
husband's  house,  also  stays  at  home  to  give  the  new- 
comer the  kiss  of  welcome  on  the  threshold. 

The  Venetian  bride  walks  by  the  canal  side  on  the 
compare  s  arm,  in  her  second-best  wedding  dress,  for 
only  the  evening  dance  witnesses  her  best  display  of 
finery.  The  bridegroom  and  the  comare  follow  in  their 
wake,  and  thus  they  go  to  church  in  procession.  The 
groomsman's  services  are  frequently  required  during 
the  ceremony  ;  he  kneels  on  a  crimson  faldstool  beside 
the  bridal  pair,  puts  the  ring  on  the  lady's  middle 
finger,  pays  fees  when  all  is  over,  and  scatters  small 
coins  among  the  waiting  crowd  for  charity.  Then  he 
gives  his  arm  to  the  bride,  and  all  go  merrily  home- 
wards. Still  he  is  weighed  down  by  a  great  responsi- 
bility during  the  remainder  of  the  day.  The  bride  is 
under  his  charge,  and  unless  she  is  in  her  mother's 
keeping  he  must  never  let  her  go  out   of  his   sight. 

After  some  slight  refreshment  the  company  separate 
to  meet  at  four  o'clock,  when  they  adjourn  to  the 
tavern  for  supper.  No  formal  invitations  are  issued, 
and  all,  save  the  parents  and  the  compare  and  comare^ 
pay   their  share  of  the  bill.      Supper  lasts   four  whole 


SICILY  273 

hours  ;  at  dessert  a  cake  of  hardbake  is  placed  before 
the  bride  with  much  ceremony  ;  she  breaks  it  and  a 
bird  flies  out;  the  guests  cry  '■'•  Evviva  la  sposa.'" 
Then  the  tables  are  cleared  and  they  all  dance.  A 
curious  feature  of  the  wedding  feast  in  Tuscany  is  the 
absence  of  the  women  of  the  bride's  circle.  It  is  true 
she  sends  them  a  basket  of  good  things  when  the  meal 
is  over  ;  but  one  would  think  she  must  miss  them 
during  the  merriment. 

On  the  whole  the  Tuscan  wife  knows  that  hers 
will  be  a  hard  lot.  So  many  of  her  husband's 
family  are  gathered  under  the  patriarchal  roof. 
There  is  the  frequently  tyrannical  capoccio^  the  pater- 
familias, who  orders  the  affairs  of  the  whole  family  ; 
there  is  the  messaia,  his  mother  or  wife,  under  whose 
dominion  the  various  women  of  the  household,  sons', 
brothers',  nephews',  and  cousins'  wives  and  daughters 
pass  their  lives.  For  the  first  week  of  her  married 
life,  the  young  wife,  just  to  show  her  capacity,  must 
rise  early  and  prepare  the  meals  for  the  male  portion 
of  her  husband's  household.  This  is  a  foretaste  of 
her  future  labours.  Working  early  and  late,  in  the 
house  and  in  the  fields,  we  think  as  we  watch  these 
Tuscan  women,  grown  old  before  their  time,  how 
abundantly  in  their  case  has  the  curse  of  Adam  been 
added  to  the  curse  of  Eve. 

In  Sicily  the  first  step  in  arranging  a  marriage  is  for 
the  young  man's  mother  to  call  upon  the  mother  of  the 
girl  selected  by  her  son,  in  order  to  ascertain,  in   the 

19 


274  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

first  place,  whether  she  approves  of  the  proposed 
alHance,  and  secondly  to  find  out  the  amount  of  her 
dowry.  Should  there  be  no  objection  on  her  part,  and 
supposing  that  the  girl  also  has  no  serious  objection, 
the  other  mother  usually  presents  an  inventory  of  all 
the  worldly  goods  she  is  able  to  bestow  on  her 
daughter.  This  seems  to  be  the  usual  mode  of  proce- 
dure, but  other  ways  are  customary  in  certain  districts. 

About  fifty  years  ago,  in  the  province  of  Syracuse, 
the  overtures  were  made  in  quite  a  different  manner, 
which  was  less  direct,  and  therefore  possibly  more 
polite.  The  young  man's  mother,  when  making  the 
call,  carried  a  certain  kind  of  reed  under  her  cloak, 
and  inquired  of  the  girl's  mother  whether  she  had  a 
reed  like  it.  If  the  latter  said  they  had  no  such  reed 
in  the  house,  or  refused  to  look  for  one,  it  was  taken 
as  a  polite  way  of  intimating  that  her  family,  or  perhaps 
her  daughter — were  not  desirous  of  receiving  the  young 
man  as  their  son-in-law.  This  was  considered  final, 
and  there  the  matter  ended. 

Mothers  sometimes  select  wives  for  their  sons  ;  they 
are  naturally  most  anxious  to  find  a  steady  and  indus- 
trious girl  who  will  be  willing  to  work — not  an  idle 
flirt.  The  following  method  of  selection  may  appear 
somewhat  rough  and  ready,  but  there  is  something  to 
be  said  for  it.  The  young  man's  mother  having  some 
particular  girl  in  view  pays  her  a  "surprise  visit." 
Should  the  girl  be  found  working  (of  course  all  good 
girls  ought  to  be,  among  people  in  whose  lives  there  is 
but  little  time  for   recreation)   it   is  taken   as   a  signal 


SICILY  275 

that  she  would  make  a  useful  wife,  and  her  mother  is 
interviewed  at  once.  If,  on  the  other  hand,  the  girl  is 
idling,  it  produces  an  unfavourable  impression  of  her 
character,  and  no  further  steps  are  taken  in  that  direc- 
tion. How  far  such  a  method  with  its  obvious  defects 
is  justifiable,  it  is  not  for  us  to  say. 

The  betrothal  customs  of  Sicily  are  curious.  In  the 
province  of  Trapani,  the  girl  is  placed  in  the  centre  of 
the  room  ;  her  future  mother-in-law  then  enters,  parts 
her  hair,  places  a  ring  on  her  finger,  gives  her  a  hand- 
kerchief, and  finally  kisses  her.  In  the  province  of 
Catania  the  young  man  presents  his  fiancee  with  a  red 
ribbon,  which  she  wears  in  her  hair  until  the  day  of  her 
marriage. 

This  custom  is  observed  in  many  parts  of  the  island. 
The  red  ribbon  being  a  sign  of  betrothal,  serves  as  an 
announcement  of  the  fact  that  a  girl  is  "engaged"  ; 
and  sometimes  the  young  men  merely  present  it  to  her, 
instead  of  making  a  formal  proposal — which  apparently 
requires  more  courage.  As  soon  as  a  maiden  is 
betrothed,  her  lover  must  consider  what  kind  of  present 
would  be  most  acceptable  to  his  future  wife.  In  bygone 
days,  young  men  gave  tortoise-shell  combs,  silver 
needle-cases,  silk  handkerchiefs,  rings  or  gloves  accord- 
ing to  their  means.  Nowadays  there  is  less  variety  in 
these  matters  ;  a  ring,  a  silver  ornament  for  the  hair, 
or  a  small  gold  cross,  is  usually  given. 

The  valuation  of  the  maiden's  property,  especially 
of  her  trousseau,  is  an  important  ceremony.  Friends 
and    relatives    come    to    satisfy    their    curiosity.      The 


276  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

garments  are  either  laid  out  on  a  bed,  or  hung  on  cords 
stretched  across  the  mother's  bedroom.  Amongst 
other  things  are  tables,  chairs,  and  various  articles  of 
furniture,  A  professional  valuer,  always  a  woman, 
determines  the  worth  of  each  article,  and  an  accountant 
makes  the  entries  in  a  book.  Should  the  woman  be 
inclined  to  make  her  estimates  too  high,  the  young 
man's  mother  may  protest,  and  sometimes  quarrels  arise 
in  this  way. 

There  is  a  civil  marriage  as  well  as  a  religious 
ceremony,  the  latter  being  considered  the  more 
important  of  the  two  ;  the  bridegroom,  in  fact,  does 
not  really  consider  himself  married  until  after  the  latter 
has  taken  place.  It  is  a  very  festive  occasion  ;  and 
the  ceremony  frequently  takes  place  at  night,  hence 
torches  are  used.  According  to  tradition  the  bride 
used  in  old  times  to  arrive  at  the  church  door  on 
horseback. 

In  Spain  when  a  young  man  desires  better 
acquaintance  with  a  maiden,  he  appears  at  her  house- 
door  and  asks  for  water.  If  invited  to  sit  down  the 
lover  rolls  up  a  cigarette,  and  asks  for  a  light.  This 
gives  him  an  opportunity  to  observe  the  lady,  and,  if 
his  impressions  are  favourable,  he  finds  excuses  for 
subsequent  visits.  Having  made  up  his  mind  to 
demand  her  in  marriage  he  makes  overtures  to  the 
damsel's  father.  The  latter,  like  a  true  Spaniard, 
is  in  no  haste.  "Go,"  he  says,  "and  make  inquiries 
concerning  me,  so  that  you  may  learn  who  I  am.      I,  for 


SPAIN   AND   PORTUGAL  277 

my  part,  will  make  inquiries  concerning  you  ;  come 
again  after  a  certain  interval,  and  you  shall  learn  my 
decision."  If,  however,  before  this  stage  is  reached, 
the  lady  has  decided  that  the  swain  is  not  to  her  liking, 
she  hands  the  crestfallen  youth  a  pumpkin,  and  by  that 
he  knows  that  his  hopes  are  dashed  to  the  ground. 
But  if  the  fair  one  is  not  averse  to  the  match,  and  the 
father  is  satisfied,  the  lover  is  allowed  to  pay  more 
frequent  visits.  A  Murcian  courtship  is,  however,  a 
very  decorous  afFair  ;  the  damsel  receives  the  youth 
under  her  mother's  eye.  They  do  not  shake  hands, 
and  kissing  is  not  allowed.  And  it  is  only  in  the 
larger  towns  of  Andalusia,  where  the  strictness  of  these 
customs  is  somewhat  relaxed,  that  a  lover  may  offer  his 
mistress  an  arm  when  they  are  out  walking  together  in 
the  streets. 

Among  Spanish  lovers,  especially  in  Valencia  and 
Andalusia,  the  serenade  is  a  favourite  method  of  court- 
ship. The  suitor,  accompanied  by  two  torch-bearers 
and  musicians,  stands,  on  an  evening  prearranged, 
underneath  the  lady's  balcony,  and  tells  his  love 
through  the  mouth  of  a  irovador,  who  has  skill  in 
improvising  and  singing  verse.  After  much  entreaty 
the  lady  vouchsafes  to  appear  on  the  balcony,  and  first 
making  a  show  of  maidenly  reluctance,  is  sometimes  so 
overcome  by  the  trovadors  pleading,  as  to  throw  down 
the  wreath  from  her  head,  and  promise  the  lover  to  be 
ever  faithful  to  him.  Naturally  this  is  all  a  comedy, 
even  if  a  very  graceful  one,  the  lover  having  obtained 
the  consent  of  the  parents,   and  of  his  mistress,  some 


278  MARRIAGE   CUS'iX)MS 

time  before  this  public  display  of  his  affection  takes 
place. 

II  the  girl's  parents  are  obdurate,  and  refuse  to 
countenance  his  suit,  the  Spanish  youth  has  a  sure 
remedy  ;  he  appeals  to  them  three  times,  and  after 
a  third  refusal,  applies  to  the  authorities.  A  local 
official  {^Alkalde)  appears  in  a  carriage  in  full  uniform, 
and  demands  either  the  father's  consent  to  the  union 
or  the  }ierson  of  his  daughter.  Should  the  former  be 
denied,  the  girl  is,  without  further  parley,  carried  off, 
and  placed  in  a  respectable  family  until  the  wedding, 
which  is  sure  to  take  place  unless  the  youth  is  of 
questionable  character. 

in  Castille  the  bride  wears  a  white  flower  in  her 
bosom  ;  in  Andalusia  a  wreath  ot  pinks  and  red  roses 
fastened  on  her  head.  In  Cadiz  no  ring  is  given  in 
marriage,  but  the  distinction  between  a  married  woman 
and  an  unmarried  girl  is  that  the  former  wears  a  flower 
on  the  right  side  of  her  hair.  Poor  girls  in  Madrid 
wear  a  flower  but  do  not  always  know  on  which  side  to 
put  it.  Hence  the  young  men  are  sometimes  at  a  loss 
to  know  what  it  means.  Sometimes  they  say  to  a  girl, 
".Are  you  married.^  \()\\  have  a  flower  on  the  right 
side  !  " 

In  the  neighbourhood  of  Madrid  a  curious  custom, 
though  not  without  its  parallel  in  otiier  lands,  is  still 
preserved.  Two  youths  stand  at  the  door  of  the  bride's 
house  on  the  wedding-day,  and  when  all  the  children 
and  idlers  of  the  neighbourhood  are  gathered  round, 
they  begin  an  oratorical  dispute.      One  points  out  the 


SPAIN   AND    PORTUGAL  279 

bride's  faults  and  failings,  the  other,  loud  in  her  defence, 
extols  her  virtues.  Sometimes  the  orators  are  so 
carried  away  by  excitement  that  they  come  to  blows, 
and  knives  have  been  used  at  times.  In  the  same 
district  the  bridegroom,  if  he  is  a  native  of  another 
place,  must  buy  with  gifts  of  wine,  meat,  and  good 
things,  permission  from  the  lads  of  the  village  to  take 
away  his  bride — another  form  of  ransom. 

In  Barcelona  only  the  relations  accompany  the 
pair  to  church  ;  the  remaining  guests  meanwhile 
assemble  at  the  parents'  house,  where  the  feast  is  to  be 
held.  The  members  of  the  different  sexes  have  tables 
laid  for  them  in  two  separate  rooms,  and  while  the 
gentlemen  are  well  supplied  with  meat  and  wines,  the 
ladies  have  daintier  dishes,  such  as  pyramids  of  candied 
fruits  and  sweetmeats  of  the  most  enticing  description. 
At  the  close  of  the  meal  the  bridegroom  appears  among 
the  lady  guests,  who,  seated  in  a  semi-circle,  hold  out 
their  dresses  to  receive  the  bon-bons  he  scatters  from 
a  basket  into  each  lap.  They  are  veritable  children 
in  the  matter  of  sweetmeats,  these  sedate  ladies  of 
Spain. 

After  the  meal  is  over  the  company  dance,  and  as  an 
interlude  make  gifts  to  the  bride.  This  is,  in  a  Spanish 
father's  eyes,  a  most  important  item  ;  for  as  he  is 
obliged  in  many  places  to  provide  the  whole  of  the 
furniture  and  household  goods  as  well  as  the  house 
itself,  for  the  young  couple,  he  can  seldom  spare  his 
daughter  a  further  dowry.  Where  the  seguidillas 
mancheqas^  as  the  popular  dance   is  called,  finds  favour 


28o  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

with  the  guests,  each  man,  woman,  and  child  takes 
a  few  turns  with  the  bricie  and  makes  her  a  present, 
which  usually  consists  of  money.  In  the  villages  of 
Salamanca  they  place  a  pie  and  knife  on  a  table  at  one 
end  of  the  room,  and  every  guest  that  dances  with  the 
bride  comes  up  afterwards,  cuts  the  pie  with  the  knife 
and  put  inside  a  piece  of  money. 

When  at  midnight  the  young  Valencian  husband 
tries  to  steal  away  with  the  bride  from  among  the 
throng  of  guests,  her  girl  comrades  strive  with  all 
their  might  to  keep  her  back,  and  he  is  forced  to 
call  in  the  aid  of  his  friends.  When  at  last  they  make 
their  escape,  the  young  people  retire  to  the  terrace 
on  the  house-roof,  where  a  bower  of  flowers  has  been 
prepared.  Truly  they  manage  things  poetically  in 
Spain  !  In  no  other  nation  does  (ostensible)  courtship 
begin  with  music  of  the  serenade  under  the  stars,  and 
married  life  begin  with  a  bower  of  flowers  ! 

In  Portugal  enamoured  bachelors  have  to  make  the 
best  of  very  slender  opportunities  for  making  love.  A 
young  man  paces  before  the  fair  one's  window  until  he 
has  aroused  her  attention,  and  then  must  contrive  to 
make  some  pretty  speeches  before  being  observed  by 
the  passers-by.  He  is  sure  to  find  her  at  mass,  and 
so  becomes  constant  in  attendance  at  her  favourite 
church.  If  the  duenna  is  not  too  vigilant,  it  is  always 
possible  to  slip  a  love  letter,  expressive  of  his  deep 
admiration,  into  the  fair  lady's  hand.  They  may  be 
lucky  enough  to  meet  at  dances  ;  but,  alas  !  how  little 
can    there    be    said,    when   decorum    requires    that    the 


SPAIN    AND    PORTUGAL  281 

young    lady   should  be  led   back  to  her   chaperon  the 
moment  a  dance  is  over. 

It  is  a  Portuguese  custom  for  the  priest  literally  to 
bind  the  hands  of  the  bridal  pair  together  with  the 
end  of  his  stole,  before  he  puts  on  the  ring.  Directly 
the  service  is  over,  it  rains  bon-bons,  and  if  the  officia- 
ting priest  is  hit  by  any  of  the  shower  intended  for  the 
young  couple,  there  is  much  laughter  and  merriment. 


CHAPTER   XX 

Ff^ance,   Holland^  and  Belgium 

'  I  'HERE  are  many  ways  of  encouraging  or  dis- 
^  couraging  a  lover's  attentions  besides  saying  in 
so  many  words  that  he  is  welcome  or  had  better  be 
gone.  The  Dauphine  maiden  is  past  mistress  in  this 
art.  When  a  swain's  visits  are  pleasing  to  her,  she 
makes  his  soup  thick  with  grated  cheese  ;  if  the 
contrary,  he  will  find  a  handful  of  oats  in  his  pocket. 
Should  he  still  persist,  she  will  turn  the  blackened 
ends  of  the  firebrands  towards  him,  a  sign  there  is 
no  mistaking.  The  peasant  girl  admits  a  favoured 
lover  to  a  parlement,  which  corresponds  to  a  consent 
to  "keep  company,"  as  we  say  in  England.  The  swain 
is  now  allowed  to  dance  with  and  call  upon  her,  and  to 
make  himself  useful  in  a  thousand  little  ways.  Should 
no  better  suitor  come  forward,  the  two  will  probably 
become  man  and  wife.  But  Frenchwomen  have  a 
shrewd  turn  for  business,  and,  if  a  richer  lover  comes 
across  her  path,  the  chances  are  Jeannette  will  not  let 
him  sigh  in  vain.  So  Jean,  who  has  been  admitted  to 
a  parlement  at  the  New  Year,  finds  his  privileges 
withdrawn  at  Easter  ;   while  Jacques,  who  has  a  larger 


FRANCE  283 

vineyard  or  expectations  from  a  rich  uncle,  now  carries 
her  basket  and  chats  with  her  at  the  well. 

But  with  the  better  classes  there  is  little  opportunity 
for  courtship.  In  Paris  young  unmarried  girls  go  out 
occasionally  into  society  ;  in  the  provinces  this  is  not 
allowed.  The  jeune  fille  bien  elevee^  who  as  an  ideal  of 
innocent  and  ignorant  girlhood  quite  surpasses  the 
"  young  person "  of  our  own  island,  has  no  social 
intercourse  outside  her  own  family.  The  late  Mr. 
P.  G.  Hamerton,  whose  long  residence  in  the  country 
made  him  intimately  acquainted  with  French  habits, 
states  that  a  young  man  rarely  catches  sight  of  his 
fiancee  until  she  is  promised  to  him  in  marriage.  In 
one  of  his  charming  books  ^  he  tells  a  story  of  an 
acquaintance  who  was  engaged  to  one  of  two  sisters, 
neither  of  whom  he  had  previously  seen.  When  first 
presented  to  these  ladies  the  young  man  applied  to  his 
mother,  who  had  doubtless  arranged  the  affair,  to  know 
which  of  the  two  was  to  be  his  wife  ! 

When  a  young  man  resolves  on  matrimony,  and 
hears  of  a  lady  whose  family  and  circumstances  are 
in  every  way  suitable,  he  makes  informal  inquiries, 
through  a  priest  or  some  lady  of  her  circle,  about 
the  girl's  domestic  qualities — and  amount  of  dowry. 
This  last  particular  is  of  the  highest  importance.  It 
is  rare  for  dowerless  girls  to  marry  in  France,  though 
the  portions  which  wives,  even  of  the  comfortable 
middle-class,  bring  their  husbands,  only  consist  of 
some    hundreds    or    at    most    two    or    three    thousand 

'    "French  and  English." 


284  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

pounds.  On  receiving  satisfactory  information  the 
suitor,  who  wishes  to  do  the  thing  in  a  decorous 
manner  and  avoid  the  unbecoming  suspicion  of  being 
"  in  love,"  does  not  attempt  to  see  the  young  lady 
of  his  choice,  but  commits  the  affair  to  some  elderly 
woman,  perhaps  his  mother  or  aunt.  This  good  lady 
hastens  to  acquaint  the  girl's  family  with  the  offer, 
and  in  her  turn  informs  them  of  the  suitor's  unim- 
peachable character  and  good  circumstances.  Should 
the  business  prosper,  they  may  be  married  in  two  or 
three  weeks.  In  orthodox  families  the  clergy  fre- 
quently act  as  ambassadors,  and  are  said  by  anti- 
clericals  to  be  very  clever  at  securing  large  dowries 
for  the  faithful  sons  of  the  church. 

Mr.  Hamerton  was  once  asked  to  negotiate  a  match 
between  a  friend  of  his  and  a  certain  young  lady  whom 
he  also  knew.  She  was  domesticated,  sensible,  pleasant, 
and  very  beautiful.  "I  don't  wonder,"  said  he,  "that 
you  admire  such  an  admirable  young  lady.  She 
becomes  more  and  more  beautiful  every  day,"  "  Is 
she  pretty  ?  "  was  the  reply.  "  I  have  never  seen  her. 
Some  people  say  she  is  pretty."  Mr.  Hamerton's 
feelings,  "as  an  Englishman  believing  in  love,  and  an 
artist  believing  in  beauty,  being  outraged  by  this 
answer,"  he  quickly  rejoined,  "Then  for  what  reason 
on  earth  do  you  want  to  marry  her  .^  "  It  was  the 
suitor's  turn  to  be  surprised.  After  opening  his  eyes 
in  astonishment,  he  said,  "  I  have  reached  the  time  of 
life  when  men  take  wives.  I  have  made  careful 
inquiries,  and,   from   all    I   can   learn,   this   young  lady 


FRANCE  285 

would  make  me  a  good  and  suitable  wife.  They  say 
she  is  well  brought  up,  and  can  manage  a  house,  and 
has  good  manners.  I  know  that  she  has  a  suitable 
property,  which  is  essential." 

Here  was  the  matter  in  a  nutshell.  And  the  young 
man  laid  the  greatest  emphasis  on  the  last  and  most 
important  item.  The  essential  thing  was  truly  the 
"suitable  property."  French  people  have  a  whole- 
some dread  of  anything  like  a  mesalliance. 

At  La  Sologne,  near  Orleans,  when  a  young  couple 
marry  without  the  means  of  commencing  housekeeping, 
the  contributions  of  the  neighbourhood  are  always 
forthcoming  to  supply  the  deficiency  ;  the  mode  of 
collecting  these  is  whimsical  enough.  Five  young 
peasant  girls,  dressed,  of  course,  in  their  best  costume 
de  fete,  proceed  to  beg  among  the  assembled  company, 
which  consists  for  the  most  part  of  nearly  the  entire 
population  of  the  parish.  They  conduct  their  opera- 
tions in  the  following  manner.  The  first  holds  a  distaff 
and  spindle  in  her  hands,  which  she  presents  to  each 
of  the  company,  while  she  sings  a  song  telling  how 
the  bride  has  no  hemp  to  spin  her  trousseau  with. 
The  second  damsel  receives  the  offerings  produced  by 
this  appeal  in  the  husband's  drinking  cup.  The  third 
acts  the  part  of  Hebe  and  pours  out  a  draught  of 
wine,  which  she  offers  to  each  contributor  to  the  store. 
The  fourth  carries  a  napkin,  with  which  she  wipes  the 
mouth  of  each  guest  after  his  draught,  and  thus  pre- 
pares the  way  for  the  performance  of  the  duty  entrusted 
to  the  fifth,  always  the  prettiest  of  the  party,  that  of 
rewarding  him  for  his  generosity  with  a  kiss. 


286  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

Many  of  the  ancient  customs  of  the  Bretons  are 
rapidly  dying  out,  but  in  certain  out-of-the-way 
corners  of  Lower  Brittany  some  still  survive.  Here 
a  young  peasant  who  is  in  love  confides  his  passion  to 
the  village  tailor.  The  latter  then  seeks  out  the 
damsel  in  question  and  speaks  to  her  privately,  laying 
before  her  the  swain's  suit.  If  the  girl  is  willing,  the 
respective  parents  are  consulted.  On  a  certain  iixeci 
day,  the  tailor,  with  a  white  rod  in  his  hand,  and  with 
one  purple  and  one  red  stocking  on  his  legs,  accom- 
panies the  youth  and  his  father  to  the  house  of  the 
future  bride.  Here  the  parents  discuss  "  ways  and 
means,"  while  the  young  people  enjoy  a  long  private 
and  uninterrupted  conversation.  The  meeting  over, 
they  join  the  old  people,  and  partake  together  of  white 
bread,  wine  and  brandy,  using  the  same  knife  between 
them  and  eating  from  the  same  plate.  On  another  day 
the  "  view  "  {yelladeit)  is  held  at  the  same  house. 

On  this  occasion  there  is  much  display,  every  one 
appearing  in  holiday  costume,  and  the  conditions  of 
the  marriage-contract  are  then  fixed.  The  guests 
inspect   the   trousseau. 

The  bride  must  choose  a  bridesmaid,  and  the  young 
man  a  groomsman.  These,  accompanied  by  an  inviter, 
or  "  bidder,"  as  the  person  is  called  in  Wales,  who 
bears  a  white  wand,  go  and  invite  people  to  the 
wedding.  On  so  important  an  event  as  a  wedding 
nobody  is  forgotten,  however  humble  his  condition  in 
life  may  happen  to  be  ;  and  nowhere  in  the  world  are 
the  ties  of  kindred  stronger  than  among  the  people  of 


BRITTANY  287 

Lower  Brittany.  A  thousand  persons  have  been  known 
to  assist  at  the  wedding  of  a  prosperous  farmer  !  The 
friends  and  acquaintances  are  so  many  that  the  task 
of  "  bidding  "  often  occupies  several  days.  On  the 
previous  Sunday  every  one  who  has  accepted  the 
invitation  is  expected  to  send  some  present  to  the 
young  couple.  In  the  case  of  a  farmer,  the  bearer  of 
the  present  is  one  of  his  farm  labourers,  very  carefully 
dressed,  in  order  to  produce  a  great  impression  of  his 
master's  consequence.  Sometimes  the  gifts  are  of  con- 
siderable value,  but  they  usually  take  the  form  of  some 
article  of  domestic  use  or  something  for  the  feast. 

At  an  early  hour  on  the  wedding-day,  the  young 
men  of  the  village  assemble  near  the  bride's  house, 
where  the  bridegroom  meets  them.  As  soon  as  a 
sufficient  number  have  gathered  together  they  depart 
in  procession,  preceded  by  the  "  Ambassador  of  Love  " 
{basvalayi)  with  a  band  of  music — the  bag-pipe  being 
conspicuous — to  take  possession  of  the  bride.  But 
parents  do  not  give  away  their  daughters  too  easily, 
and  so  pretend  at  first  to  refuse.  Accordingly,  when 
the  procession  has  arrived  at  the  farm,  there  is  pro- 
found silence — except  for  the  barking  of  savage  dogs. 
The  doors  are  closed,  and  the  place  appears  to  be 
deserted  ;  but  even  a  hasty  survey  of  the  homestead 
reveals  the  fact  that  preparations  are  being  made  for  an 
approaching  festivity — chimneys  and  cauldrons  are 
smoking  and  long  tables  have  been  arranged  in  every 
available  place. 

Long  and  loudly  does  the  ambassador  knock,  until 


288  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

at  length  there  appears  an  envoy  of  the  bride's  family. 
This  person,  with  a  branch  of  broom  in  his  hand, 
replies  in  verse,  pointing  to  some  neighbouring  chateau, 
where  he  assures  the  bas-valan  such  a  glorious  train  as 
his  is  sure  to  find  a  welcome  on  account  of  its  un- 
paralleled splendour.  But  this  polite  excuse  is  foreseen  ; 
the  hasvalan  answers  his  rival,  verse  for  verse,  com- 
pliment for  compliment,  saying  that  they  are  in  search 
of  a  jewel  more  brilliant  than  the  stars,  not  hidden 
away  in  the  chateau  but  here  in  the  farmhouse.  Upon 
this  the  family  envoy  retires,  and  presently  leads  forth 
an  aged  matron,  and  presents  her  as  the  only  jewel 
they  have  got.  "  Of  a  truth,"  replies  the  ambassador, 
"  a  most  respectable  person  ;  but  it  appears  to  us  that 
she  is  past  her  festal  time.  We  do  not  deny  the  merit 
of  grey  hair,  especially  when  silvered  by  age  and  virtue. 
But  we  seek  something  far  more  precious.  The  maiden 
we  demand  is  at  least  three  times  younger.  Try  again  ; 
you  cannot  fail  to  discover  her  from  the  splendour 
which  her  unparalleled  beauty  sheds  around  her  !  " 
But  even  after  this  it  is  not  correct  to  produce  the 
true  bride  ;  so  first  the  man  brings  an  infant  in  arms, 
next  a  widow,  then  a  married  woman,  and  then  one  of 
the  bridesmaids.  These  candidates  are  all  rejected  ■ 
very  politely,  so  as  not  to  wound  their  feelings,  until 
at  last  the  dark-eyed  blushing  bride  is  led  forth  arrayed 
in  her  wedding  dress.  The  bridegroom's  party  then 
enter  the  house  ;  the  family  envoy,  falling  on  his 
knees,  slowly  utters  a  Pater  noster  for  the  living  and 
a   De  profundis   for  the  dead,    and   asks  the  family  to 


BRITTANY  289 

bestow  a  blessing  on  their  daughter.  Then  the  scene 
assumes  a  more  affecting  character  ;  sobs  are  heard, 
and  tears  fall  while  the  man  is  speaking.  There  is 
generally  some  sad  episode  in  connection  with  these 
rustic  festivals.  Perhaps  the  thoughts  of  both  father 
and  mother  are  led  to  the  memory  of  a  dear  one  whom 
they  "  have  loved  long  since  and  lost  awhile."  But, 
in  any  case,  there  is  the  sad  present  trial  of  parting 
with  their  jewel.  When  the  procession  is  about  to 
start  for  church  the  mother  severs  the  end  of  the 
bride's  sash,  and  addresses  her  as  follows — 

"  The  tie  which  has  so  long  united  us,  my  child, 
is  henceforward  rent  asunder,  and  I  am  compelled  to 
yield  to  another  the  authority  which  God  gave  me 
over  thee.  If  thou  art  happy — and  may  God  ever  grant 
it — this  will  be  no  longer  thy  home  ;  but  should 
misfortune  visit  thee,  a  mother  is  still  a  mother,  and 
her  arms  ever  open  for  her  children.  Like  thee  I 
quitted  my  mother's  side  to  follow  a  husband.  Thy 
children  will  leave  thee  in  turn.  When  the  birds  are 
grown  the  maternal  nest  cannot  hold  them.  May  God 
bless  thee,  my  child,  and  grant  thee  as  much  consola- 
tion as  He  has  granted  me  !  " 

The  wedding  procession  is  interrupted  on  its  way 
to  the  church  by  groups  of  beggars,  who  climb  up  the 
slopes  bordering  the  roads — which  are  very  deep  and 
narrow,  like  Devonshire  lanes — in  order  to  bar  the 
passage  by  means  of  long  briars,  or  to  hold  up  prickly 
thorns  in  the  faces  of  the  party.  The  groomsman 
removes  the  barriers,    and    scatters    coins    among    the 

20 


290  MARRIAGE  CUSTOMS 

mendicants.  When  the  distance  is  considerable,  the 
number  of  such  barriers  is  often  great  ;  but  the 
groomsman  must  patiently  remove  each  one,  never 
losing  his  temper  for  a  moment,  and  always  liberally 
throwing   the   money. 

After  the  religious  ceremony  comes  the  feast  ;  the 
multitude  of  guests  form  a  lively  and  variegated 
picture.  The  arrival  of  the  newly-married  couple 
from  the  church  is  announced  by  the  firing  of  muskets, 
and  the  sound  of  bagpipes  ;  pipers,  fiddlers,  and  single- 
stick players  head  the  returning  procession  ;  then  come 
the  bride  and  bridegroom,  followed  by  relatives  and 
guests.  The  neighbours  who  have  stayed  to  help  in 
the  cooking  desert  their  posts  and  rush  from  the 
kitchen,  or  the  yard,  where  fires  are  burning,  to  watch 
the  arrivals.  Presently,  when  the  confusion  has 
subsided,  the  guests  find  their  places  at  the  long 
narrow  tables  formed  of  rough  planks,  supported  by 
stakes  driven  into  the  ground.  They  eat  soup  from 
wooden  bowls  ;  meat  is  cut  up  and  eaten  in  the  hand, 
or  as  they  say,  "  upon  the  thumb." 

Beer  and  wine  are  served  from  rough  earthenware 
jugs,  and  cups  are  shared.  It  is  considered  polite  to 
hand  one's  cup  to  a  neighbour,  so  that  he  may  assist 
in  emptying  it  ;  and  a  refusal  would  be  considered 
extremely  rude.  The  bridegroom  and  his  relations 
wait  on  their  guests,  pressing  each  one  to  "  take  care 
of  himself,"  Compliments  are  showered  upon  them, 
and  they  drink  from  time  to  time  the  cups  that  are 
offered  to  them.     The  feasting  is  not  continuous,  but 


BRITTANY  291 

goes  on  at  intervals.  After  each  course  the  musicians 
play,  and  all  rise  up  from  the  tables.  One  party  gets 
up  a  wrestling  match — for  the  Bretons  are  famous 
wrestlers  like  their  Cornish  brethren.  Others  play  at 
single-stick,  or  run  races,  while  some  dance,  and  beggars 
partake  of  what  has  been  left  on  the  tables. 

Then  games  and  dances  give  place  to  another  course 
of  eating  and  drinking  ;  and  so  they  continue  till  mid- 
night. 

In  some  parts  of  Brittany  the  two  tailors,  repre- 
senting the  bride  and  bridegroom  respectively,  hold 
a  quaint  dialogue  at  the  house  of  the  bride,  to  which  the 
young  man  comes  with  his  friends  on  the  wedding 
day  to  demand  hospitality.  The  lady's  poet  replies 
that  possibly  the  party  are  vagabonds,  and  had  better 
pursue  their  way.  At  last  the  man's  poet  declares  the 
real  object  of  his  visit  and  sets  forth  his  friend's  good 
qualities.  How  he  can  plough  as  much  in  a  day  as 
three  hired  labourers.  How  he  can  set  up  a  cart  that 
has  been  overturned  ;  what  a  champion  he  is  at 
wrestling  matches.  The  other  one  then  dwells  on  the 
lady's  good  points,  enumerating  her  many  perfections  of 
body  and  mind.  "  She  is  as  light  and  supple  as 
the  blossom-covered  branches  of  the  broom,"  &c. 
"  But,"  he  adds,  "  she  has  unfortunately  left  her  father's 
house  !  "  Of  course  the  bridegroom's  man  refuses  to 
believe  this,  and  insists  that  the  fair  one  must  be 
somewhere  within.  "  Young  girls,"  he  says,  "  are 
made  to  grace  the  home  of  a  husband.  Do  not  drive 
us  to  despair  !      Lead  hither   the  one  whom  we  desire, 


292  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

and  we  will  place   her  at  the   wedding  feast  near  the 
bridegroom,  under  the  eyes  of  her  friends." 

Among  the  Dutch  peasants  (Boers)  a  young  man 
goes  courting  on  a  Sunday,  being  too  busy  on  other 
days.  He  must  call  at  the  house  where  the  young 
woman  lives.  Should  her  parents  offer  him  a  chair, 
he  may  conclude  that  his  presence  is  welcome.  The 
elders  then  retire,  leaving  him  to  speak  for  himself. 
If,  however,  the  young  woman  herself  feels  coldly 
towards  him,  she  tells  him  plainly  to  make  for  the 
door,  and  there  is  an  end  of  the  matter.  In  certain 
parts  of  Holland,  when  a  youth  takes  a  fancy  to  some 
girl,  he  stands  at  the  door  of  her  house  and  asks  for 
a  match  to  light  his  pipe.  Should  he  repeat  the  visit, 
her  parents  have  no  further  doubt  in  their  own  minds 
that  he  intends  to  propose  marriage.  On  his  calling 
a  third  time  they  inform  him  whether  his  suit  is  viewed 
with  favour  or  no.  Should  they  be  willing  to  accept 
the  lover  for  a  son-in-law,  they  ask  him  in,  and  the 
match  which  he  asked  for  is  given  ;  but  if  not  he 
must  retire,  and  light  the  pipe  with  a  match  from  his 
own  pocket. 

Those  who  are  betrothed  must  enter  their  names 
in  a  book  at  the  Town  Hall  (^Stadhuis)  at  least  a 
couple  of  weeks  before  the  marriage,  in  order  to  allow 
any  one  who  has  the  right  to  make  an  objection  the 
opportunity  of  doing  so.  The  bride-elect  and  her 
betrothed  send  out  printed  circulars  to  their  friends 
and    hold    receptions  at   which  they   themselves  sit  in 


HOLLAND  293 

chairs  on  a  platform  under  a  canopy  decorated  with 
evergreens.  Parents  and  relations  arrange  themselves 
on  each  side,  making  a  "  family  circle."  The  visitors 
entering  in  small  parties,  from  time  to  time,  make 
little  formal  speeches  and  retire  to  partake  of  the 
refreshments  that  are  always  provided  on  a  liberal 
scale.  "  Bridal  sugar  "  {bruid  suiker),  a  kind  of 
sweetmeat,  and  spiced  wine,  called  "  bride's  tears  "  are 
offered  to  all  the  visitors. 

The  door  of  the  bride's  house  is  painted  green,  and 
flowers  are  scattered  near  it  by  the  wedding  guests, 
as  the  bride  and  bridegroom  leave  for  the  Town  Hall, 
to  be  married  before  the  Burgomaster  with  civil  rites. 

Formerly  it  was  the  custom  to  invite  the  guests 
through  two  bachelors,  who  went,  armed  with  gaily- 
decorated  wands,  to  every  house  and  repeated  a  number 
of  verses. 

According  to  another  custom,  which  appears  to  have 
died  out,  it  was  usual  for  newly-married  couples 
to  provide  themselves  with  planks  of  elm,  from 
which  their  coffins  might  be  made  when  they  were 
dead  ;  and  a  bride's  trousseau  usually  included  a  cap 
and  a  shroud.  At  the  marriage  feast  there  is  much 
merriment,  together  with  singing  and  dancing.  A 
large  silver  bowl,  filled  with  brandy  and  raisins,  is 
handed  round  to  the  guests.  One  of  their  favourite 
songs,  beginning  with  the  words, 

"How  sweet  it  is  where  friendship  dwells," 

is  invariably  sung  on  these  occasions. 


294  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

In  Belgium  they  print  their  wedding  invitations  on 
a  double  sheet  of  paper,  one  containing  an  invitation 
from  the  parents  of  the  bride,  the  other  from  those  of  the 
bridegroom.  These  are  paid  for  by  the  bridegroom, 
but  the  bride  has  to  provide  the  funds  for  the  wedding 
mass,  the  church  decorations,  and  beadles  in  splendid 
uniform.  The  man  and  the  woman  are  enthroned 
before  the  altar  in  two  big  chairs  while  the  Mass 
proceeds,  the  bride's  veil  being  spread  out  behind  her. 
Certain  acquaintances  of  their  respective  families  sit 
with  them  as  witnesses,  and  these  are  always  the  most 
important  people  of  their  acquaintance.  An  interesting 
feature  in  these  marriages  is  the  collection  for  the  poor, 
made  by  the  bridesmaids,  under  the  usher's  escort. 
The  money  is  thrown  to  the  beggars  at  the  church 
door  as  the  marriage  party  leaves  the  building.  The 
happy  pair  usually  take  a  drive  in  the  park,  and  then 
pay  a  visit  to  the  photographer.  The  wedding  break- 
fast takes  place  at  some  hotel. 


CHAPTER   XXI 

England  and  Wales 

WE  have  reserved  our  account  of  the  customs  of 
our  country  to  the  end,  in  order  that  the 
reader  may  be  in  a  better  position  to  understand  the 
origin  and  meaning  of  those  observances  which  have 
been  handed  down  from  a  more  or  less  remote 
antiquity.  There  are  more  survivals  in  our  present 
marriage  customs  than  one  would  think,  as  may  be 
shown  by  answering  a  few  simple  questions.  Thus  : 
"  Who  was  the  '  best  man,'  and  what  did  he  do  .'^  "  To 
answer  this  we  must  go  back  to  the  days  of  "  marriage 
by  capture,"  for,  as  has  been  shown  by  writers  on 
the  history  of  marriage,  the  "best  man"  was  the 
friend  or  comrade  who  helped  the  bridegroom  to 
catch  his  bride.  How  few  and  simple  are  his  duties 
at  the  present  day,  compared  with  what  these  once 
were  !  They  call  for  no  special  exertion,  and  certainly 
are  unattended  with  danger — if  we  except  the  danger 
of  falling  in  love  with  a  pretty  bridesmaid.  But  in 
those  early  days  what  might  he  not  have  to  do,  from 
murder  downwards }  We  may  picture  him  prowling 
round  the  hut,  spear  in  hand,  eyes  and  ears  alert,  to 


296  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

see  whether  the  coast  were  clear,  and  then  with  stone- 
axe,  knife  or  club  helping  to  keep  the  family  at  bay 
while  his  friend  carried  off  the  damsel  in  spite  of  her 
cries. 

Nor  is  this  the  only  relic  of  the  most  ancient  of 
human  institutions  ;  for  what  was  the  honeymoon  ? 
It  was  not  merely  a  pleasure  trip  as  now,  but  a  rapid 
and  hurried  flight  of  bride  and  bridegroom,  rendered 
positively  necessary  by  the  anger  of  an  outraged  father. 
And  so  for  at  least  a  month  the  newly-married  couple 
deemed  it  advisable  to  keep  out  of  his  way.  After 
that  time  perhaps  his  wrath  would  have  partially 
subsided,  and  then  it  might  be  possible,  by  making 
handsome  presents,  to  reconcile  him  to  the  situation, 
and  persuade  him  to  accept  2i  fait  accompli.^ 

Presents  to  the  bridesmaids  form  another  interesting 
link  with  primeval  days.  They  were  originally  a  form 
of  toll,  and  we  have  described  above  the  custom  still 
existing  in  Central  India,  where  Kurku  girls  go  through 
the  form  of  preventing  the  removal  of  the  bride.  They 
pelt  the  young  men — formerly  the  attacking  party — 
with  balls  of  boiled  rice.  Then  they  make  a  last  stand 
at  the  door  of  the  house,  and,  finally,  only  suffer  the 
bridegroom  to  enter  and  take  away  his  bride,  after 
paying  toll  in  the  form  of  presents  all  round  ;  in  fact 
they  are  bribed,  and  their  resistance  is  more  or  less 
assumed  for  appearance  sake.  Throwing  old  shoes 
after  the  bride  and  bridegroom  on  their  going   away 

'   The   Norse    for   Marriage  is   Quan-fang,  or  wife-catching,  and 
the  old  German  Breit-Ioufti,  or  bride-racing. 


SURVIVALS  297 

is  possibly  another  relic  of  the  same  kind  ;  but  there 
are  two  interpretations  of  this  custom.  According  to 
one  view  it  may  be  taken  as  a  symbolic  act  on  the 
part  of  the  father  of  the  bride  who,  in  throwing  a 
shoe,  meant  to  signify  that  from  henceforth  he  gave 
up  all  authority  over  the  bride.  The  other  explana- 
tion refers  it  to  "  marriage  by  capture,"  when  a  fight 
at  the  bride's  house  was  part  of  the  proceedings,  and 
shoes  might  be  thrown  in  anger  when  nothing  else 
came  handy. 

The  ceremony  of  lifting  a  bride  over  the  doorstep 
is  of  ancient  date.  The  Romans  had  this  custom, 
and  it  may  still  be  traced  in  widely  distant  lands, 
among  the  Red  Skins  of  Canada,  the  Chinese,  the 
Abyssinians,  and  also  in  Europe.  Its  origin  is  some- 
what obscure  ;  most  writers,  apparently,  consider  it 
as  merely  a  necessary  incident  in  "  marriage  by 
capture."  Another  suggestion,  already  mentioned, 
is  that  the  bridegroom  took  up  the  bride  in  his  arms 
when  they  arrived  at  his  house,  and  lifted  her  over 
the  doorstep  lest  she  should  be  so  unlucky  as  to 
stumble,  which  would  be  a  bad  omen  for  her  future 
happiness.  There  is  something  to  be  said  for  this 
view  ;  but  the  writer  prefers  an  explanation  mentioned 
in  Brand's  "  Popular  Antiquities  of  Great  Britain  " 
(1849,  vol.  ii.  p.  114),  where  evidence  is  adduced  to 
show  that  in  old  days  a  Roman  bride  was  expected  to 
manifest  the  greatest  reluctance  to  step  over  the  door 
of  her  husband's  house,  because  to  appear  to  do  so 
willingly  would  have  shown  a  want  of  true    maidenly 


298  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

modesty  (compare  Arabia,  Persia).  We  can  well 
imagine  that  in  some  countries  it  was  the  custom 
for  brides  to  stand  there  a  long  time,  until  at  last  the 
impatient  bridegrooms  could  wait  no  longer,  and  put 
an  end  to  the  delay  by  lifting  up  their  brides  and 
carrying  them  over. 

The  bride-cake,  still  cut  by  the  bride's  own  hand, 
is  one  of  the  most  interesting  relics  embedded  in  the 
strange  mosaic  of  our  present  marriage  customs.  As 
the  reader  who  has  followed  our  previous  accounts 
will  have  noticed,  the  taking  of  food  or  drink  together 
by  the  contracting  parties  may  be  said  to  be  the  princi- 
pal, and  sometimes  the  only  ceremony  among  primi- 
tive peoples.  And  still  it  has  not  died  out  with  more 
civilised  races.  The  Jews  drink  the  consecrated  wine  ; 
Chinese  take  tea  ;  Japanese  drink  saki  ;  Malays  and 
others  eat  betel  nut,  and  so  on.  The  ancient  Romans 
had  three  forms  of  marriage,  but  the  strictest  was  the 
confarreatio^  or  eating  together.  It  was  jealously 
restricted  to  patricians  and  accompanied  with  awful 
religious  rites.  Hence,  in  Europe,  the  bride-cake 
plays  an  important  part  at  marriages. 

The  throwing  of  rice,  wheat,  or  other  seeds  was 
clearly  symbolic  of  fertility,  and  expressive  of  the 
hope  that  the  bride  would  in  time  be  a  happy  mother 
of  children.     Abundance  may  be  a  secondary  meaning. 

It  appears  that,  in  the  time  of  Edward  VI.,  marriages 
were  performed  in  the  church  porch,  and  not  in  the 
building    itself,       Selten    states    that    dower    could    be 


SURVIVALS  299 

lawfully  assigned  only  at  the  door,  and  another  writer 
says,  "  When  he  cometh  to  the  church  door  to  be 
married  there,  after  affiance  and  troth  plighted,  he 
endoweth  the  woman  of  his  whole  land,  or  of  the  half, 
or  other  lesser  part  thereof,  and  there  openly  doth 
declare  the  quantity  and  the  certainty  of  the  land  she 
shall  have  for  her  dower."  The  reader  will  easily 
perceive  that  the  object  of  formally  investing  a  bride 
with  her  endowments  at  the  church  door  was  that  it 
might  be  a  public  act  witnessed  by  all  who  chose  to 
assemble  there.  The  custom  is  older  than  Edward 
VI, 's  time,  for  Chaucer,  in  the  time  of  Edward  III., 
makes  the  wife  of  Bath  say — 

"Husbands  at  churche  door  have  I  had  five." 

As  in  other  countries,  so  in  England,  there  was 
much  joyous  feasting  on  the  occasion  of  a  wedding. 
This  is  clearly  shown  by  the  very  word  "  Bridal," 
which  is  simply  another  form  of  "Bride-ale"  (or 
Bride-feast),  the  latter  word  being  commonly  applied 
to  a  feast.  Originally  it  meant  only  the  carousal,  or 
drinking,  in  honour  of  the  bride  ;  and,  indeed,  "  bride- 
ale  "  is  still,  in  the  Cleveland  dialect  of  Yorkshire, 
the  word  applied  to  the  draught  presented  to  the 
wedding  party  on  its  return  from  church.  There  were 
also  "  Bid-ales,"  when  the  guests  were  "  bidden,"  or 
invited  ;  and  "  Church-ales,"  or  Church-feasts,  not  to 
mention  others. 

Publicans  used  to  make  a  good  deal  of  money  by 
these    wedding-feasts.       The    amount    of   beer    which 


300  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

other    people    might   brew  for  a  wedding  was  limited 
by  law,  so  as  to  protect  the  publican. 

In  many  countries,  as  previous  pages  have  shown, 
the  neighbours  made  presents  in  kind,  as  contribu- 
tions towards  the  expenses  of  a  marriage.  The  same 
custom  prevailed  in  England. 

Owen,  in  his  "  Welsh  Dictionary,"  says,  "  The  poor 
people  in  Wales  have  a  marriage  of  contribution,  to 
which  every  guest  brings  a  present  of  some  sort  of 
provision,  or  money,  to  enable  the  new  couple  to  begin 
the  world."  According  to  the  same  authority,  it  was 
customary  for  poor  women  newly  married  to  go  to 
farmers'  houses  to  ask  for  cheese.  In  the  North  of 
England,  after  a  public  wedding  of  the  kind  here 
referred  to,  presents  continued  to  come  in  for  some 
days.  The  value  of  all  the  various  contributions  was 
sometimes  as  much  as  _^2o6.  A  servant  girl  who 
had  been  with  the  same  mistress  for  seven  years,  was 
entitled  upon  her  marriage  to  a  copper  kettle  holding 
from  four  to  six  gallons.  If  a  young  couple  were  very 
poor,  they  sent  round  a  cart  (wain)  and  horse  to 
their  friends  to  beg  of  them  corn  or  whatever  they 
could  give.  The  corn  was  often  used  to  sow  the  first 
crop.      This  explains  the  word  "  Bride-wain." 

About  a  hundred  years  ago  it  was  still  usual  to 
celebrate  a  marriage  with  "  open  house,"  to  which  all 
the  inhabitants  of  the  district  were  bidden.  The 
county  of  Cumberland  was  specially  famous  for  these 
"  Bidden    Weddings."      The  invitation   took  the  form 


SURVIVALS  301 

of  a  public  announcement.      Here  is  a  sample  of  the 
year  1789 — 

"  Suspend  for  one  day  your  cares  and  your  labours, 
And  come  to  this  wedding,  kind  friends  and  good  neighbours. 

"  Notice  is  hereby  given  that  the  marriage  of  Isaac 
Pearson  with  Frances  Atkinson  will  be  solemnised  in 
due  form  in  the  parish  church  of  Lamplugh,  Cumber- 
land, on  Tuesday  next,  the  30th  May  inst.,  after  which 
the  bride  and  bridegroom,  with  their  attendants,  will 
proceed  to  Lonefoot,  in  the  same  parish,  where  the 
nuptials  will  be  celebrated  by  a  variety  of  rural  enter- 
tainments." 

Some  families,  however,  were  not  rich  enough 
to  entertain  their  friends  and  neighbours  in  such 
a  liberal  manner,  and  so,  in  course  of  time,  the 
cost  of  the  entertainment  came  to  be  defrayed  by 
subscription  among  the  guests.  Hence  the  origin  of 
"  The  Penny  Wedding,"  at  which  each  guest  con- 
tributed a  few  pence,  and  whatever  was  over  went 
towards  starting  the  happy  couple  in  life. 

As  the  Scotch  lads  used  to  "  run  fir  the  Kail,"  and 
Welsh  ones  for  a  jug  of  beer,  so  we  find  that  in 
parts  of  England,  they  used  to  ride  for  the  bride-cake  ; 
only  this  took  place  when  the  bride  was  brought  to  her 
new  home.  A  pole  was  erected  in  front  of  the  house, 
with  the  cake  stuck  on  the  top  of  it.  The  moment 
that  the  bride  left  her  old  home,  a  company  of  young 
men     started     off    on    horseback  ;     and    he    who    was 


302  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

fortunate  enough  to  reach  the  pole  first,  and  knock 
down  the  cake  with  his  stick,  had  the  honour  of 
receiving  it,  from  the  hands  of  a  damsel,  on  the  point 
of  a  wooden  sword.  With  this  trophy  he  returned  to 
meet  the  bride  and  her  attendants,  who,  on  arrival,  was 
presented  with  a  posy  of  flowers,  while  others  decorated 
with  garlands  the  horses'  heads.  Sometimes,  instead  of 
racing  for  the  bride-cake,  the  young  men  engaged  in  a 
trial  of  strength,  and  threw  heavy  bars  of  iron.  This 
game  or  contest  was  known  as  "  throwing  the  quintal." 
Yorkshire  men  used  to  run  a  race  in  front  of  the  house 
where  the  feast  was  held,  and  the  victor  claimed  a  kiss 
from  the  bride.  In  some  parts  of  Essex  the  bride  used 
to  take  a  seat  near  a  table,  her  husband  standing  by  her 
side  while  the  guests  came  up  in  turn  and  gave  presents 
of  money,  the  piper  exhorting  them  to  be  liberal.  Who- 
ever gave  the  most  received  a  pair  of  gloves,  with  a 
ribbon  attached,  and  could  claim  a  kiss  from  the  bride. 
According  to  the  following  old  rhyme  the  middle  of 
the  week  was  the  best  day  for  getting  married ;  and  the 
last  three  days  were  considered  unlucky. 

"  Monday  for  wealth, 

Tuesday  for  health, 
Wednesday  the  best  day  of  all  ; 

Thursday  for  crosses, 

Friday  for  losses, 
Saturday  no  luck  at  all." 

In  some  parts  of  Lancashire  a  man  must  never  go 
courting  on  Friday,  and  if  he  is  caught  with  his  sweet- 
heart on  that  day  he  is  followed  home  by  a  noisy  band 


s 


ENGLAND 


303 


of  roughs  playing  on  tin-pots,  or  anything  that  comes 
handy. 

An  uneven  number  of  wedding  guests  was  a  thing  to 
be  avoided,  or  one  of  them  might  die  before  the  year 
was  over.  In  the  North,  green,  the  fairies'  colour,  was 
not  to  be  worn.  The  country  folk  also  said  that  if  a 
grave  were  open  in  the  churchyard  through  which  the 
party  walked,  the  wedding  would  be  sure  to  prove 
unlucky. 

The  following  table  gives  the  popular  names  of  the 
various  anniversaries  of  the  Wedding  Day  : — 


Tear. 

Amiiversary. 

Year. 

Anniversary 

1st 

Cotton 

15th     .     . 

Crystal 

2nd    . 

Paper 

20th     . 

China 

3rd     . 

Leather,  or  Straw 

25  th     . 

Silver 

4th.     . 

30th     . 

Pearl 

5th    . 

Wood 

40th     . 

Ruby 

6th    . 

50th     . 

Gold 

7th    . 

Wool 

60th     . 

loth     . 

Tin 

70th     . 

1 2th     . 

.      Silk  and  Linen 

75th     . 

Diamond 

In  Eastern  countries,  as  our  previous  pages  have 
frequently  testified,  women,  as  a  rule,  do  not  receive 
the  respect  and  honour  naturally  due  to  them  ;  and  a 
man  buys  a  wife  pretty  much  as  he  would  buy  an  ox  or 
a  horse.  But  our  readers  will  probably  be  surprised  to 
learn  that,  even  in  England,  wives  have  been  purchased 
even  in  recent  years.  The  strange  belief  that  such  a 
summary  mode  of  divorce  is  according  to  law  is  not 
quite  extinct.  The  writer  remembers  a  case  recorded 
in  a  daily  newspaper  only  about  ten  years  ago.     And,  if 


304  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

we  go  back  a  little  further,  it  will  be  found  that  the 
practice  was  formerly  not  very  uncommon.  An  old 
Devonshire  farmer  once  thus  addressed  the  friends 
assembled  to  celebrate  an  anniversary  of  his  wedding — 
"I  guv  three  pun'  ten  for  my  Missus  three  and  thirty 
years  ago  this  very  day,  and  I  wouldn't  take  it  for  her 
now!"  In  the  year  1744,  the  second  Duke  of 
Chandos  bought  his  second  wife  from  her  husband,  an 
ostler  in  Newbury,  who  was  offering  her  for  sale  as  the 
Duke  passed  through  the  town  ! 

The  strange  custom  whereby  a  condemned  criminal 
could  be  saved  from  death  by  marriage  once  prevailed 
in  England  and  France.  Early  in  the  seventeenth 
century,  an  English  ballad  celebrated  the  story  of  a 
merchant,  born  at  Chichester,  who  was  saved  from 
hanging  by  a  gallant  maiden,  who  married  him  at  the 
place  of  execution.  In  1725  a  widow  petitioned  King 
George  I.,  offering  to  marry  a  man  under  the  gallows  if 
a  reprieve  should  be  granted  to  him.  In  the  United 
States  similar  cases  were  not  unknown.  We  have  not 
been  able  to  ascertain  the  date  of  the  last  case  of  this 
kind  in  England. 

According  to  Pinkerton,  a  certain  criminal  preferred 
death  to  marriage  at  the  foot  of  the  gallows. ^  The 
event  was  thus  recorded  in   rhyme  : — 

"  There  was  a  victim  in  a  cart 
One  day  for  to  be  hang'd, 
And  his  reprieve  was  granted, 
And  the  cart  made  for  to  stand. 


'  See  Browning's  "  Muckle-Mouthcd  Meg"  for  a  similar  tale. 


ENGLAND  305 

"  '  Come,  marry  a  wife,  and  save  your  life,' 
The  judge  aloud  did  cry. 
'  Oh,  why  should  I  corrupt  my  life  ?  ' 
The  victim  did  reply. 

"  '  For  here's  a  crowd  of  every  sort. 
And  why  should  I  prevent  their  sport  ? 
The  bargain's  bad  in  every  part. 
The  wife's  the  worst — drive  on  the  cart,'  " 

In  the  year  1725  it  is  recorded  that  nine  young 
women,  dressed  in  white,  each  with  a  white  wand  in 
her  hand,  presented  a  petition  to  his  Majesty 
George  I.  on  behalf  of  a  young  man  condemned  at 
Kingston  for  burglary,  one  of  whom  offered  to  marry 
him  under  the  gallows. 

One  cannot  help  feeling  that  there  is  something  to 
be  said  for  this  "  ancient  and  laudable  custom," 
although  its  revival  in  the  present  day  would  not  be 
desirable.  Nevertheless  it  showed  a  belief  in  the 
redeeming  power  of  a  good  woman,  so  well  illustrated 
by  the  story  of  Tannhaiiser. 

It  is  difficult  to  believe  that  the  disgraceful  and 
often  fictitious  marriages  called  "  Fleet  Weddings " 
were  made  less  than  a  hundred  and  fifty  years  ago. 
They  take  their  name  from  the  Fleet  Prison,  where 
many  of  the  couples  were  united,  the  officiating  parsons 
being  disreputable  and  dissolute  men,  often  prisoners 
for  debt,  who  were  willing,  for  the  sake  of  a  fee,  to 
unite  any  persons  in  marriage  at  a  moment's  notice. 
They  asked  no  inconvenient  questions,  only  stipulating 
for  so  much  payment  in  money,  or  a  given  quantity  of 

21 


3ob  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

liquor  wherewith  to  drink  the  health  of  those  whom 
they  thus  unlawfully  joined  together.  It  was  by  no 
means  a  rare  thing  for  the  parson,  bridegroom,  and 
bride  all  to  be  in  a  state  of  intoxication  while  the 
ceremony  took  place.  These  disgraceful  members  of 
the  sacred  calling  had  their  "  plyers,"  who  addressed 
men  and  women  as  they  passed  along  the  streets, 
asking  them  whether  they  wanted  a  parson  to  marry 
them.  One  of  the  most  notorious  of  these  scandalous 
officials  was  a  man  of  the  name  of  George  Keith,  a 
Scotch  minister,  who  set  up  a  marriage  office  in  May 
Fair,  and  subsequently  in  the  Fleet.  His  business  in 
this  line  became  so  extensive  and  scandalous  that  the 
Bishop  of  London  found  it  advisable  to  excommunicate 
him.  One  morning  during  the  Whitsuntide  holidays 
he  and  his  "journeyman"  united  a  greater  number 
of  couples  than  had  been  married  at  any  ten 
churches  within  the  bills  of  mortality.  The  man 
was  a  bare-faced  profligate,  but  lived  to  the  age  of 
eighty-nine  years.  Many  of  the  early  Fleet  weddings 
were  really,  as  a  matter  of  fact,  performed  at  the 
Chapel  of  the  Fleet  Prison,  But,  as  the  practice 
extended,  it  was  found  more  convenient  to  have  other 
places  "  within  the  rules  "  ;  and  thereupon  manv  of 
the  Fleet  parsons  and  tavern-keepers  in  the  neighbour- 
hood fitted  up  rooms  in  their  respective  lodgings,  or 
houses,  as  a  Chapel.  The  parsons  took  the  fees, 
allowing  a  portion  to  their  "  plyers  "  ;  and  the  tavern- 
keepers,  besides  sharing  in  the  money  paid,  derived  a 
nrofit  from  the  sale  of  liquors  which  they  supplied  at 


ENGLAND  307 

the  wedding  parties.  Some  of  these  innkeepers  kept 
a  parson  on  the  estabhshment  at  a  weekly  salary  of 
twenty  shillings,  who  entered  the  names  of  the  parties 
married  in  registers  kept  at  these  taverns.  Sign- 
boards were  hung  out  of  the  windows  in  order  to 
attract  passers-by,  with  the  enticing  words,  "  Weddings 
performed  cheap  here  !  "  One  of  these  men,  a  Fleet 
parson  of  the  name  of  Walter  Wyatt,  lived  to  see  the 
gross  error  of  his  way,  and  certain  entries  made  in  a 
pocket-book  show  how  bitterly  he  repented  his  mis- 
deeds. "  May  God  forgive  me  what  is  past,"  he  says, 
"  and  give  me  grace  to  forsake  such  a  wicked  place, 
where  truth  and  virtue  cannot  take  place  unless  you 
are  resolved  to  starve."  His  earnings  were  very 
considerable. 

It  need  hardly  be  pointed  out  that  these  matri- 
monial facilities  gave  rise  to  many  grave  evils,  the 
consequences  of  which  were  far-reaching.  Parsons 
were  frequently  bribed  to  make  false  entries  in 
their  registers,  to  ante-date  weddings,  to  give 
fictitious  certificates,  and  even  to  marry  persons 
unwilling  to  declare  more  than  the  initial  letters  of 
their  names  !  Widows  who  were  involved  in  debt 
could  easily  cheat  their  creditors  by  pretending  to 
have  been  married  before  their  debts  were  contracted  : 
it  was  only  necessary  for  the  widow  to  pay  a  small 
extra  fee  to  the  parson,  who  found  some  man  to  act 
as  bridegroom  for  a  few  shillings.  Blank  spaces  were 
left  in  the  registers,  and  so  the  names  could  be  inserted 
in   such  a   way  as   to  make  it  appear    that    they  had 


3o8  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

been  married  several  years  before  !  Entries  could  be 
obliterated  for  a  fee !  Sham  bridegrooms,  under 
different  names,  were  married  many  times  over  ; 
children  born  out  of  wedlock  could  be  made 
apparently  legitimate. 

All  kinds  of  people  flocked  to  these  unholy  places — 
runaway  sons  and  daughters  of  peers,  Irish  adventurers 
and  rich  but  foolish  widows,  footmen  and  decayed 
beauties,  soldiers  and  servant  girls,  boys  in  their  teens, 
and  young  heiresses  brought  thither  by  force  and  com- 
pelled, against  their  wills,  to  be  brides.  The  parson 
who  solemnised  an  irregular  marriage  was  liable  to  a 
fine,  but  such  a  penalty  had  no  terrors  for  a  man 
who  was  already  in  the  Fleet  Prison.  The  evil  was 
abolished  at  last  by  making  these  irregular  marriages 
invalid. 

Many  of  the  churchwardens  and  overseers  of  that 
day  were  in  the  habit  of  getting  up  marriages  between 
paupers  in  order  to  throw  the  burden  of  their  relief  on 
other  parishes.  The  Daily  Post  of  July  4,  1741, 
reported  the  following  case  :  -  "  On  Saturday  last  the 
churchwardens  for  a  certain  parish  in  the  city,  in  order 
to  remove  a  load  from  their  own  shoulders,  gave  forty 
shillings,  and  paid  the  expense  of  a  Fleet  marriage,  to 
a  miserable  blind  youth,  who  plays  on  the  violin  in 
Moorfields,  in  order  to  make  a  settlement  of  the  wife 
and  future  family  in  Shoreditch  parish.  To  secure 
their  point,  they  sent  a  parish  officer  to  see  the 
ceremony  performed.  One  cannot  but  admire  the 
ungenerous  proceeding  of  this  city  parish,   as  well  as 


SOCIETY   OF   FRIENDS  309 

their  unjustifiable  abetting  and  encouraging  an  irregu- 
larity so  much  and  so  justly  complained  of  as  these 
Fleet  matches.  Invited,  and  uninvited,  were  a  great 
number  of  poor  wretches,  in  order  to  spend  the  bride's 
parish  fortune." 

In  the  Society  of  Friends,  or  Quakers,  a  wedding  is 
conducted  with  the  greatest  simplicity,  as  will  be  seen 
from  our  reproduction  of  an  excellent  picture  exhibited 
in  the  Royal  Academy,  1896,  by  our  friend  Mr.  Percy 
Bigland  (himself  a  Quaker),  who  has  kindly  allowed  us 
to  engrave  it.  Marriages  are  only  entered  into  after 
much  careful  consideration,  and  with  a  due  sense  of  the 
importance  and  solemnity  of  the  contract.  They 
mostly  marry  among  themselves,  "  outside  "  marriages 
being  discouraged.  The  Friends'  Book  of  Christian 
Discipline  contains  the  following  injunction  : — 

"  Friends  are  advised  against  running  into  excessive, 
sumptuous,  or  costly  entertainments  at  marriage 
dinners  ;  a  great  part  of  the  cost  of  which  would  be 
better  employed  in  relieving  the  necessities  of  the  poor." 

Friends  intending  to  marry  declare  their  intention 
at  the  monthly  meeting  of  which  they  are  members, 
the  parents  or  guardians  declaring  their  consent,  if 
present,  or,  if  absent,  sending  a  signed  certificate  to 
the  effect  that  their  consent  has  been  given.  The 
meeting  then  appoints  two  men  and  two  women  to 
inquire  if  the  contracting  parties  are  free  from  other 
marriage  engagements,  &c.  If  no  impediment  appear, 
then  a  subsequent  monthly  meeting  grants  the  parties 


310  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

leave  to  enter  the  married  state.  Marriages  are 
solemnized  at  a  usual  week-day  meeting,  and  at  the 
meeting-house  to  which  the  woman  belongs.  There  is 
no  further  ceremony  than  is  here  described.  "  After 
the  meeting  has  been  held  a  seasonable  time,  the  parties 
are  to  stand  up,  and,  taking  each  other  by  the  hand,  to 
declare  in  an  audible  and  solemn  manner  to  the 
following  effect  ;  the  man  first,  viz.  :  '  Friends^  I  take 
this  my  friend  D.E.  to  be  my  wife,  promising  through 
divine  assistance,  to  be  unto  her  a  loving  and  faithful 
husband,  until  it  shall  -please  the  Lord  by  death  to 
separate  us '  and  then  the  woman  in  like  manner, 
'  Friends,  I  take  this  my  friend  A.B.  to  be  my  husband, 
promising  through  divine  assistance,  to  be  unto  him  a 
loving  and  faithful  wife,  until  it  shall  please  the  Lord 
by  death  to  separate  usy 

The  parties  also  sign  a  certificate,  and  so  do  the 
witnesses.  There  are  certain  other  rules  laid  down 
among  Friends  with  regard  to  marriage,  for  example, 
that  engagements  may  not  be  broken,  as  their  Book  of 
Christian  Discipline  says  : — "  And  further,  that  such 
friends  as  have  with  serious  advice,  due  deliberation,  and 
free  and  mutual  consent,  absolutely  agreed,  espoused, 
or  contracted  upon  the  account  of  marriage,  shall  not 
be  allowed,  or  owned  amongst  us,  in  any  unfaithfulness 
or  injustice  one  to  another,  to  break  or  violate  any  such 
contract  or  engagement  :  which  is  to  the  reproach  of 
truth,  or  injury  one  of  another.  And  where  any  such 
injury,  breach  or  violation  of  such  solemn  contract  is 
known  or  complained   of  ...   we   advise   and    counsel 


A  Quaker  Wedding,    ^j*  Percy  Bigiand. 


JEWS  311 

that  a  few  faithful  friends,  both  men  and  women,  in 
their  respective  meetings  to  which  the  parties  belong, 
be  appointed  to  inquire  into  the  cause  thereof,  and  to 
report  to  a  succeeding  monthly  meeting  the  result  of 
their  inquiry,  that  it  may  use  its  discretion  as  to  the 
due  exercise  of  the  discipline  in  the  case.  And,  further, 
we  advise  and  exhort  that  no  engagements  made  with- 
out honest  endeavours  to  obtain,  or  due  regard  first  had 
to,  the  counsel  and  consent  of  parents,  relations,  and 
friends,  be  countenanced  ;  that  so  all  foolish  and  un- 
bridled affections,  and  all  ensnaring  and  selfish  ends, 
be  not  so  much  found  among  us  on  any  hand." 

Parents  are  to  discourage  the  marriage  of  their 
children  outside  the  society.  Those  that  are  married 
by  a  priest,  or  in  any  manner  "  contrary  to  the  estab- 
lished rules  of  the  said  society,"  are  to  be  dealt  with 
"in  the  spirit  of  Christian  tenderness,  agreeably  to  our 
known  discipline ;  all  friends  are  also  earnestly  be- 
sought to  prevent  such  marriages,  and  parents  or 
guardians  permitting  or  encouraging  them  are  to 
undergo  the  discipline  of  the  society.  Parents, 
guardians,  overseers  and  elders  are  likewise  ex- 
horted to  check  among  young  people  all  desire  to 
form  connexions  outside  the  society,  which  so  often  lead 
to  the  solemnization  of  marriage  by  a  priest^  which,  as 
being  a  violation  of  our  testimony  against  a  hireling 
ministry  .  .  .  we,  as  a  people,  have  always  believed 
it  our  duty  to  testify  against." 

With  the  Jews  there  are  considerable  differences  in 


312  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

the  ways  in  which  marriages  are  celebrated  in  the 
different  countries  where  they  are  now  to  be  found, 
and  the  following  description  deals  only  with 
Jewish  marriages  as  they  are  celebrated  in  London 
of  to-day.  It  was  the  author's  good  fortune  to 
witness  recently  a  marriage  in  the  New  West  End 
Synagogue,  and  his  thanks  are  due,  not  only  to  the 
Chief  Rabbi,  Dr.  Herman  Adler,  for  his  courteous  in- 
vitation, but  also  to  the  Rev.  J.  L.  Geffen,  of  the  New 
West  End  Synagogue,  for  his  kind  help  in  giving  the 
information  necessary  for  this  brief  account. 

Jewish  marriages  are  solemnized  between  the  hours 
of  I  and  4  p.m.  ;  the  bride  and  bridegroom  on  that  day 
partaking  of  no  food  or  drink.  Until  quite  recently, 
the  marriage  ceremony  was  preceded  by  the  ordinary 
daily  afternoon  service  ;  but  now  this  is  discarded,  and 
the  service  begins  with  the  chanting  by  the  reader  and 
choir  of  the  following  verses  from  the  Psalms. 

"  How  goodly  are  thy  tents,  O  Jacob  :  Thy  dwelling 
places,   O   Israel."   (Numb.    xxiv.    5.) 

"Lord,  I  love  the  habitation  of  Thy  house,  and  the 
place  where  Thy  glory  dwelleth."  (Psa.  xxvi.    8.) 

In  front  of  the  reading  desk  is  placed  the  canopy  or 
chuppah,  supported  by  four  slender  posts  and  beauti- 
fully decorated  with  white  flowers  and  green  leaves. 
Here  the  bridegroom  waits  while  the  reader  pronounces 
the  three  following  verses. 

"  Blessed  be  he  that  cometh  in  the  name  of  the 
Lord  :  we  bless  you  out  of  the  house  of  the  Lord." 
(Psa.   cxviii.) 


JEWS  313 

"  O,  come  let  us  worship  and  bow  down  ;  let  us  kneel 
before  the  Lord  our  maker."  (Psa,  xcv.) 

"  Serve  the  Lord  with  joy  ;  come  before  Him  with 
exulting."    (Psa.   c.   to  the  end.) 

The  bride  then  enters,  led  by  her  father,  or,  in  his 
absence,  by  her  nearest  relative,  such  as  a  brother.  She 
is  followed  by  the  mothers  of  the  bride  and  bridegroom, 
the  bridesmaids,  and  page-boy,  if  there  is  one,  as  is 
generally  the  case  at  fashionable  weddings.  The  bride 
stands  on  the  right  hand  of  the  bridegroom,  while  the 
two  fathers  are  on  his  left,  and  the  two  mothers  on 
the  right  of  the  bride.  The  reader  pronounces  the 
following  benediction.  "  He  who  is  mighty,  blessed 
and  great  above  all  beings,  may  he  bless  the  bridegroom 
and  the  bride."  An  extemporaneous  address  is  then 
delivered  by  the  senior  minister,  a  cup  of  wine  is 
handed  to  him,  and  he  pronounces  the  following 
grace. 

"  Blessed  art  Thou,  O  Lord,  our  God,  King  of  the 
universe,  who  hast  sanctified  us  by  Thy  commandments, 
and  hast  given  us  command  concerning  forbidden 
marriages,  who  hast  disallowed  unto  us  those  that  are 
betrothed,  but  hast  sanctified  unto  us  such  as  are 
wedded  to  us  by  the  rite  of  the  canopy,  and  the  sacred 
covenant  of  wedlock.  Blessed  art  Thou,  O  Lord,  who 
sanctifiest  Thy  people  Israel  by  the  rite  of  the  canopy 
and  the  sacred  covenant  of  wedlock." 

The  cup  is  then  handed  to  the  father  of  the  bride- 
groom, who  gives  it  to  the  bridegroom  to  drink.  It  is 
then  handed  to  the  mother  of  the  bride,  who  gives  it  to 


31+  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

the  bride  to  drink.  To  do  this,  she  lifts  up  the  bride's 
long  white  diaphanous  veil  which  covers  her  head  and 
most  of  her  dress.  And  now  the  wedding  ring  is  pro- 
duced and  placed  by  the  bridegroom  on  the  forefinger 
of  the  bride's  right  hand,  while  he  makes  the  following 
declaration.  "  Behold  thou  art  consecrated  unto  me  by 
this  ring,  according  to  the  law  of  Moses  and  of  Israel," 
Next,  the  marriage-contract  is  read  out  by  one  of  the 
officiating  ministers,  first  in  Hebrew  and  then  in  English 
— it  was  signed  before  the  service  began  by  both  the 
bridegroom  and  officiating  ministers.  A  contract 
of   this    kind    reads    as    follows  : — 

"On  this day  of  the  week,   on day  of  the 

Hebrew  month in  the- -year,  ^  the  holy  covenant 

of  marriage  was  entered  into  in  London  between  the 
bridegroom  A.  and  the  bride  B.  The  said  bridegroom 
made  the  following  declaration  to  his  bride.  '  Be  thou 
my  wife,  according  to  the  law  of  Moses  and  of  Israel. 
I  faithfully  promise  that  I  will  be  a  true  husband  unto 
thee,  I  will  honour  and  cherish  thee,-  I  will  work  for 
thee,  I  will  protect  and  support  thee,  I  will  provide 
all  that  is  necessary  for  thy  due  sustenance,  even  as  it 
beseemeth  a  Jewish  husband  to  do.  I  also  take  upon 
myself"  all  such  further  obligations  for  thy  maintenance, 
during  thy  lifetime,  as  are  prescribed  by  our  religious 
statutes.'  And  the  said  bride  has  plighted  her  troth 
unto  him  in  affection  and  sincerity,  and  has  thus  taken 
upon  herself  the  fulfilment  of  all  the  duties  incumbent 

'  The  present  year  1897  is  reckoned  as  the  year   5657,  from  the 
supposed  date  of  the  Creation  of  the  world. 


WALES  315 

upon  a  Jewish  wife.  This  covenant  of  marriage  was 
duly  executed  and  witnessed  this  day,  according  to  the 
usage  of  Israel." 

The  cup  is  refilled,  and  the  last  seven  blessings  are 
read,  after  which  the  goblet  is  again  given  to  the  bride 
and  bridegroom,  who  drink  from  it  as  before.  The 
glass  having  been  placed  on  the  ground,  the  bridegroom 
shatters  it  into  many  pieces  by  stamping  on  it  with  his 
foot.  This  breaking  of  the  glass  is  an  important  piece 
of  symbolism,  for  it  is  meant  as  a  sad  reminder  to  all 
present  of  Zion's  shattered  crown  of  glory.  Mr. 
Geffen  informs  the  writer  that  for  the  same  reason 
decorations  in  private  houses,  as  well  as  in  the  Syna- 
gogue, are  always  left  incomplete  in  some  way,  signi- 
fying that  there  can  be  no  perfect  rejoicing,  not  even 
on  the  happiest  occasions  in  life,  so  long  as  Zion  is 
unrestored  to  Israel.  The  minister  then  pronounces 
the  benediction  from  Numbers  vi.  24-26.  The  service 
concludes  with  the  singing  by  the  choir  of  Psalm  cl. 

In  Wales,  the  ancient  festivities  connected  with 
marriage  were  still  retained  some  forty  or  fifty  years 
ago  ;  but  since  the  introduction  of  railways  into  quiet 
mountainous  districts  many  changes  in  manners  and 
customs  have  taken  place.  The  day  having  been  fixed, 
"  bidding  papers  "  were  despatched  to  friends  all  round 
the  country  side.  The  squire  was  sure  to  find  one  on 
his  table,  and  usually  responded  by  a  liberal  subscription. 
The  feast  was  held  at  the  bride's  home,  in  most  cases. 
When    she    appeared    in     bridal    costume    among    the 


3i6  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

assembled  guests,  friends  proceeded  to  hide  her  away, 
so  that  the  bridegroom  might  have  some  difficulty  in 
finding  her  :  this  was  part  of  the  fun.  Then  the  four  or 
five  groomsmen  advanced  to  the  house-door,  and  on  be- 
half of  their  friend,  demanded  the  bride  from  her  father, 
and  her  spokesmen  made  reply,  thus  reminding  one  of 
the  curious  little  scene  that  takes  place  in  Brittany.  All 
the  stock  of  wit  possessed  by  either  party  was  exhausted, 
until,  amid  much  laughter,  the  claimants  were  admitted 
and  began  their  search.  Sometimes  she  was  so  well 
hidden  that  it  was  nearly  noon  and  yet  they  had  not 
found  her  !  This  was  serious,  because  it  would  be  too 
late  after  twelve  o'clock  (the  law  was  only  altered  a  few 
years  ago).  A  friend  then  came  forward  to  act  as  a 
guide,  and  her  discovery  was  announced  with  loud 
acclamations. 

In  some  parts  it  was  the  custom  to  ride  full  speed 
to  the  church.  Thus  Malkin  '  says,  "III  may  it 
befal  the  traveller  who  has  the  misfortune  of  meeting 
a  Welsh  wedding  party  on  the  road.  He  would  be 
inclined  to  suppose  that  he  had  fallen  in  with  a  company 
of  lunatics  escaped  from  their  confinement.  It  is  the 
custom  of  the  whole  party  who  are  invited,  both  men 
and  women,  to  ride  full-speed  to  the  church-porch  ;  and 
the  person  who  arrived  there  first,  has  some  privilege 
or  distinction  at  the  marriage  feast.  To  this  important 
object,  all  inferior  considerations  give  way,  whether  the 
safety  of  his  Majesty's  subjects  who  are  not  going  to  be 
married,    or  their   own,   be  incessantly   endangered   by 

'    "  Tour  in  South  Wales,  Glamorganshire,"  p.  67. 


WALES  317 

boisterous,  unskilful,  and  contentious  jockeyship.  The 
natives,  who  are  acquainted  with  the  custom,  and 
warned  against  the  cavalcade  by  its  vociferous  approach, 
turn  aside  at  respectful  distance  ;  but  the  stranger  will 
be  fortunate  if  he  escapes  being  overthrown  by  an 
onset,  the  occasion  of  which  puts  out  of  sight  that 
urbanity  so  generally  characteristic  of  the  people." 

Meanwhile  the  bridegroom  awaited  her  at  the  church ; 
but  even  then  there  might  be  further  delay,  for  there 
took  place  a  kind  of  mock  ceremony  of  capture,  and 
the  poor  girl  often  came  in  for  some  rough  handling. 
It  was  nearly  noon  before  the  marriage-service  had  been 
read.  No  sooner  had  the  clergyman  given  the  blessing, 
than  the  men  who  were  on  horseback  began  a  furious 
race  to  see  who  could  first  bring  to  those  waiting 
at  home  the  intelligence  that  the  service  was  over. 
The  rider  who  came  first  received  a  pint  of  ale.  In 
Scotland  the  prize  is  a  bowl  of  broth  {brose). 

The  rest  of  the  proceedings  consisted  of  feasting  and 
dancing,  very  much  as  in  Brittany. 


CHAPTER   XXII 

Scotland 

'T^HE  old  Scottish  custom  of  the  "  Penny  Wedding  " 
^  has  been  thus  described  : — "  When  there  was  a 
marriage  of  two  poor  people  who  were  esteemed  by 
any  of  the  neighbouring  gentry,  they  agreed  among 
themselves  to  meet  and  have  a  dance  upon  the  occasion, 
the  result  of  which  was  a  handsome  donation,  in  order 
to  assist  the  new-married  couple  in  their  outset  in 
life."  I 

Another  writer  says  : — "  A  Penny  Wedding  is  when 
the  expense  of  the  marriage  entertainment  is  not  de- 
frayed by  the  young  couple,  or  their  relations,  but  by  a 
club  among  the  guests.  Two  hundred  people,  of  both 
sexes,  will  sometimes  be  convened  on  an  occasion  of 
this  kind."  - 

In  the  same  work  the  Minister  of  Monquitter, 
speaking  of  the  time  of  "  our  fathers,"  observes  : — 
"  Shrove  Tuesday,  Valentine  Eve,  the  Rood-day,  &c., 
were  accompanied  by  pastimes  and  practices  congenial 
to  the  youthful  and  ignorant  mind.     The  market-place 

'  The  Gentleman'' s  Magazine,  1874. 
^  "Statistical  Account  of  Scotland,"  vol.  iv.  86 
318 


SCOTLAND  319 

was  to  the  peasant  what  the  drawing-room  is  to  the 
peer,  the  theatre  of  show  and  of  consequence.  The 
scene,  however,  which  involved  every  amusement  and 
every  joy  of  an  idle  and  illiterate  age  was  a  Penny 
Bridal.  When  a  pair  were  contracted  they,  for  a 
stipulated  consideration,  bespoke  their  wedding  at  a 
certain  tavern,  and  then  ranged  the  country  in  every 
direction  to  solicit  guests.  One,  two,  and  even  three 
hundred  would  have  convened  on  these  occasions  to 
make  merry  at  their  own  expense  for  two  or  more 
days.  This  scene  of  feasting,  drinking,  dancing, 
wooing,  fighting,  &c.,  was  always  enjoyed  with  the 
highest  relish,  and,  until  obliterated  by  a  similar  scene, 
furnished  ample  materials  for  rural  mirth  and  rural 
scandal.  But  now  the  Penny  Bridal  is  reprobated  as 
an  index  of  want  of  money  and  of  want  of  taste.  The 
market-place  is  generally  occupied  by  people  of  busi- 
ness. Athletic  amusements  are  confined  to  schoolboys. 
Dancing,  taught  by  itinerant  masters,  cards,  and  con- 
versation, are  the  amusements  now  in  vogue  ;  and  the 
pleasures  of  the  table,  enlivened  by  a  moderate  glass, 
are  frequently  enjoyed  in  a  suitable  degree  by  people  of 
every  class."  ' 

Of  the  parish  of  Avoch,  co.  Ross,  it  is  said  : — 
"  Marriages  in  this  place  are  generally  conducted  in 
the  style  of  Penny  Weddings.  Little  other  fare  is 
provided  except  bread,  ale,  and  whisky.  The  relatives, 
who  assemble  in  the  morning,  are  entertained  with  a 
dram  and  a  drink  gratis.  But,  after  the  ceremony  is 
'  "Statistical  Account  of  Scotland,"  vol.  xxi.  146. 


320  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

performed,  every  man  pays  for  his  drink.  The  neigh- 
bours then  convene  in  great  numbers.  A  fiddler  or 
two,  with  perhaps  a  boy  to  scrape  on  an  old  violoncello, 
are  engaged.  A  barn  is  allotted  for  the  dancing,  and 
a  house  for  drinking  ;  and  thus  they  make  merry  for 
two  or  three  days,  till  Saturday  night.  On  Sabbath, 
after  returning  from  church,  the  married  couple  give  a 
sort  of  dinner  or  entertainment  to  the  present  friends 
on  both  sides  :  so  that  these  weddings,  on  the  whole, 
bring  little  gain  or  loss  to  the  parties."  ^ 

Jamieson,  in  his  Etymological  Dictionary,  quotes  an 
Act  of  the  General  Assembly,  13th  February,  1645, 
for  the  restraint  of  Pennie  Brydals. 

The  following  account,  taken  from  a  story  -  published 
in  the  earlier  part  of  the  present  century,  will  give  the 
reader  a  fair  idea  of  the  way  in  which  a  Penny 
Wedding  used  to  be  celebrated  in  Scotland  : — 

Johnny  Stewart  first  saw  Jeannie  Buie  at  the  kirk, 
when  she  excited  lively  emotion  within  him.  He  after- 
wards met  her  at  Elgin  fair,  and  gave  her  a  bumper  of 
drink,  while  her  master  was  discussing  the  price  of  cattle. 
He  saw  her  a  mile  or  two  on  the  road  home  that  night. 
The  next  year  it  was  arranged  they  should  be  married 
when  Martinmas  came  round. 

Jeannie  left  her  place  on  Whitsunday  so  that  she 
might  have  time  to  spin  her  wool  for  blankets,  and  lint 
for  sheets,  before  she  got  married.  Three  weeks  before 
the  wedding  the  bride  and  bridegroom  went  the  round 

'  "Statistical  Account  of  Scotland,"  vol.  xv.  636. 

^  "The  Penny  Wedding,"  by  John  Grant.      Edinburgh,  1836. 


SCOTLAND  321 

to  invite  their  friends.  On  the  eve  of  the  marriage- 
day  the  friends  all  came  to  the  Feet-v^^ashing.  They 
drank  a  good  deal  "  of  mountain  dew  in  its  original 
state,"  and  by  ten  o'clock  they  were  very  merry  and 
insisted  that  Jeannie  should  have  her  feet  washed.  A 
tub  filled  with  hot  water  was  placed  in  the  middle  of 
the  room,  and  a  ring  from  the  finger  of  a  married 
woman  was  thrown  into  it. 

Jeannie,  blushingly,  removed  her  stockings  and 
plunged  her  feet  into  the  water,  and  the  lads  and 
lasses  crowded  round  the  tub  that  they  might  wash  the 
bride's  feet  and,  perchance,  find  the  ring,  for  the 
person  that  finds  it  will  be  the  first  to  get  married. 
When  this  ceremony  was  over,  and  the  company  had 
had  some  pulls  from  the  "  Tappit  Hen  "  (a  large 
bottle  containing  four  quarts),  they  became  exceedingly 
jovial,  and  one  member  of  the  company  after  the  other 
was  called  upon  for  a  song.  An  admirer  of  Jeannie's 
sang  : — 

"  There's  mony  lasses  round  about 

To  charm  the  heart  and  please  the  e'e  ; 
But  Jenny  dings  them  out  and  out, 

The  bonny  bride  of  Fallowlea. 
For  O  the  bride's  a  bonny  lass 

And  happy  will  her  Johnny  be. 
When  she  gaes  o'er  to  keep  the  house 

That  stands  beside  the  Fallowlea." 

The  grandmother  also  sang  about  the  "  good  old 
times "  and  the  sad  alterations  of  the  present  day, 
whereupon  the  men  got  into  a  heated  discussion  about 

22 


322  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

the  "  march  of  intellect."  This  being  stopped,  they 
drank  "the  health  of  the  King — God  bless  him,"  and 
after  a  final  glass  of  Glenlivet  the  company  separated. 

On  the  wedding  morning  Jeannie  packed  her 
wardrobe  in  a  chest,  and  a  cart  was  loaded  with  her 
belongings.  The  bride's  party  set  out  after  breakfast 
for  the  manse,  where  the  ceremony  was  to  be  per- 
formed. 

One  of  the  young  men,  who  escorted  the  bride, 
carried  a  bottle  of  whiskey,  out  of  which  he  must  fill  a 
glass  for  the  first  person  the  party  met  on  their  way  ; 
this  person — called  "the  First  Foot" — must  also  turn 
back  and  walk  a  mile  or  so  with  the  wedding  party,  be 
his  business  never  so  urgent. 

The  bridegroom's  party  was  waiting  at  the  manse, 
and  the  wedding  took  place  without  delay.  Both 
parties  mixed,  and  proceeded  to  Fallowlea,  the  home  of 
the  young  couple,  the  bagpiper  playing  "  She's  woo'd  an' 
married  an'  a',"  and  the  company  singing  the  song  on 
their  way.  At  the  cross-roads  numerous  people  joined  the 
party,  for  many  intended  being  present  at  the  wedding. 
When  they  arrived  at  the  cottage  the  grandmother 
threw  a  number  of  pieces  of  bride-cake  over  the  young 
couple's  heads,  "  as  a  token  that  Jeannie  Stewart  was 
welcome  to  a  house  with  plenty  in  it."  Just  before  she 
entered  the  house  a  lad  came  up,  claimed  and  took  a 
kiss  from  the  bride,  to  which  he  had  a  good  right,  as 
he  had  been  successful  "in  running  for  the  Kiles." 
For  when  the  company  were  about  200  yards  from  the 
house,   a   number   of  young    men    started    to    run    to 


SCOTLAND  323 

the  house,  and  whoever  reached  the  homestead  first, 
claimed  the  kiss. 

The  bride  then  took  her  place  at  the  head  of  the 
table  among  her  relations  ;  the  rest  of  the  company 
took  their  dinner  in  the  barn.  The  fiddlers  fiddled 
away  during  the  meal  to  their  hearts'  content,  and 
when  it  was  over  "  two  decent  middle-aged  men  "  went 
round,  one  with  a  glass  of  whiskey  for  every  person, 
and  the  other  with  a  basin  to  receive  the  shilling  that 
each  paid  as  the  price  of  the  meal. 

Then  the  bridegroom  led  out  the  bride  to  the 
green,  and  they,  with  another  lad  and  lass,  danced  the 
"  Shamit  Reel  "  before  the  company.  This  reel  was 
called  the  "  Shamit  "  because  it  was  considered  that 
it  would  take  away  the  bashfulness  under  which  the 
bride  laboured  before  so  many  people. 

Dancing  was  kept  up  in  the  house  and  barn  with 
great  spirit  until  the  evening  ;  for  every  lad  that  chose 
to  give  a  "  bawbee  "  to  the  fiddlers  could  have  what 
tune  he  liked  played  a  dozen  times  over.  When  the 
fiddlers  made  a  pause  the  lads  cried  "  kissing  time,"  it 
being  the  custom  that  every  lad  should  then  kiss  his 
partner.  They  kissed  one  another  right  heartily  and 
made  "  the  roof  and  rafters  dirl "  with  the  sound. 

At  twelve  the  bride  went  to  bed,  and  after  a  short 
time  had  elapsed  her  husband  entered  the  room  accom- 
panied by  a  noisy  troop  of  friends.  She  then  threw 
her  stocking  in  the  air,  and  all  present  scrambled  to 
clutch  it,  for  the  virtue  in  the  stocking  was,  that  who- 
ever gained  possession  of  it  would  be  the  first  to  be 


324  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

married.  The  best  man  presented  whiskey  to  the 
married  couple  and  the  company,  and  then  all  departed, 
the  best  man  locking  the  door  of  the  bedroom.  The 
rest  of  the  party  kept  up  dancing  until  six  o'clock. 
At  nine  o'clock  next  morning  the  married  couple  were 
presented  with  a  glass  of  whiskey  before  they  got  up. 

During  the  next  two  days  the  dancing  was  kept  up, 
and  on  Sunday  about  forty  couples  accompanied  the 
bride  and  bridegroom  to  church. 

It  may  be  mentioned  here  that,  at  Scotch  country 
weddings,  not  very  long  ago,  the  bridegroom's  men 
and  others  ran,  as  in  Wales,  straight  from  the  church 
to  the  bride's  house,  in  order  to  see  who  could  first 
bring  the  intelligence  that  she  had  been  duly  married. 
Nor  was  the  feat  without  danger,  for  in  every  village 
where  they  might  be  expected  the  young  men  were 
received  with  shots  from  pistols  and  guns,  and  if  any 
men  stumbled,  or  were  somehow  upset,  there  was 
great  merriment.  At  the  bride's  house  a  bowl  of 
broth  was  prepared  for  the  winner  of  the  race. 
Hence  the  expression  "running  for  the  brose."  It 
appears  that  sometimes  these  races  took  place  on 
horseback.  A  Scotch  newspaper,  The  Courier^  of 
January  i6,  1813,  records  a  case  in  which  a  young 
lady  came  in  first  : — "  Immediately  after  the  marriage, 
four  men  of  the  bride's  company  started  for  the 
broos,  from  Mauchline  to  Whitehall,  a  distance  of 
thirteen  miles ;  and  when  one  of  them  was  sure  of 
the  prize,  a  young  lady,  who  had  started  after  they 
were    a    quarter  of   a   mile   off,  outstripped  them    all. 


SCOTLAND  325 

and  notwithstanding  the  interruption  of  getting  a  shoe 
fastened  on  her  mare  at  the  smithy  on  the  road,  she 
gained  the  prize,  to  the  astonishment  of  both  parties." 

In  Great  Britain,  as  in  some  other  countries,  May 
used  to  be  considered  unlucky  for  marriages,  especially 
May  14th.  The  13th  was  old  May  Day,  and  no 
doubt  the  festivities  connected  with  May  Day  cele- 
brations were  often  marred  by  much  unseemly  license, 
being  survivals  of  old  Heathen  observances.  The 
Christian  Church,  in  refusing  to  countenance  certain 
practices,  probably  caused  the  whole  of  this  month  to 
be  avoided  for  formal  and  proper  unions. 

In  the  Orkney  Islands  they  prefer  to  marry  only 
during  the  waxing  moon,  or  at  flood-tide.  A  bright 
day  is  generally  a  good  omen  :  "  Blest  is  the  bride  the 
sun  shines  on  "  is  a  well-known  saying. 

The  Fairies,  or  "  little-folk,"  so  skilful  in  magic, 
are  supposed  to  be  active  at  these  times  ;  hence  no 
green  should  be  worn  at  weddings  among  the  Lowland 
Scotch,  for  green  is  the  fairies'  colour,  and  whoever 
wears  it  will  be  overtaken  by  ruin.  They  would  even 
go  so  far,  in  some  cases,  as  to  banish  green  vegetables 
from  the  meal.  In  the  Highlands,  the  bridegroom 
must  put  on  his  shoe  without  horn,  or  lace  ;  otherwise 
the  witches  may  play  their  evil  tricks.  Also,  the 
people  were  careful  to  let  no  dog  run  between  the 
bridal  pair. 


CHAPTER     XXIII 

Ireland 

AMONG  the  peasants  in  many  parts  of  Ireland  the 
match-maker  conducts  all  matrimonial  prelimin- 
aries, both  "  affairs  of  the  heart,"  where  the  messages 
she  conveys  are  dictated  by  true  love,  and  affairs 
fostered  by  calculating  parents,  who  consult  rather 
their    children's    interest    than    their    inclination. 

The  most  successful  match-makers  are  mid-wives 
and  "  cosherers."  The  cosherer  is  a  very  respectable 
and  well-treated  female  vagabond.  She  goes  from  the 
house  of  one  relation  to  that  of  another,  and  is  always 
hospitably  received.  She  sews,  knits,  retails  the  news, 
tells  old  stories  and  (incidentally)  doctors  the  children. 
The  "  senachie "  is  the  male  counterpart  of  the 
cosherer,  but  infinitely  her  inferior  in  the  art  of 
match-making  ;  he  concerns  himself  chiefly  in  pro- 
phecy and  genealogies.  Mr.  Carleton,  the  novelist, 
knew  a  cosherer  (by  name  Mary  Murray)  who  was 
highly  successful  in  the  task  of  match-making,  which 
indeed  requires  astuteness  of  no  common  order,  and  a 
fine  instinct  for  a  bargain,  so  shrewd  and  provident  are 

the  Irish    in    the    matter   of   marriage.      Many  a  time 

326 


IRELAND  327 

have  marriages  been  broken  off,  because  one  party 
refuses  to  give  his  son  "  a  slip  of  a  pig,"  or 
another  his  daughter  "  a  pair  of  blankets  "  ;  and  it 
was  no  unusual  thing  for  the  match-maker  to  say, 
"  Never   mind  ;    I    have   it   all   settled    but    the    slip." 

Mary  Murray  often  met  a  young  girl  quite  ac- 
cidentally, and  in  the  course  of  conversation  would 
bring  in  the  one  important   subject — in    this   fashion. 

"  Cirra,   Biddy  Sullivan,  how  are  you,  a-colleen  ?  " 

"Faix,  bravely,  thank  you,  Mary.    How  is  yourself.^ " 

"  Indeed,  thin  sorra  a  bit  o'  the  health  we  can 
complain  of,  barrin'  whin  this  pain  in  the  back  comes 
upon  us.  The  last  time  I  seen  your  mother,  Biddy, 
she  was  complainin'  of  a  weid  (bad  cold).  I  hope 
she's  betther,  poor  woman  ?  " 

"  Hut  !  bad  scran  to  the  thing  that  ails  her  !  She 
has  as  light  a  foot  as  e'er  a  one  of  us,  an'  can 
dance  '  Jackson's  mornin'  brush  '  as  well  as  ever  she 
could." 

"  Throth,  an'  I'm  proud  to  hear  it.  Och !  och ! 
'  Jackson's  mornin'  brush  !  '  and  it  was  she  that 
could  do  it.  Sure  I  remimber  her  wedding-day  like 
yestherday  .  .  .  an'  how  the  Squire  himself  an'  the 
ladies  from  the  Big  House  came  down  to  see  herself 
an'  your  father,  the  bride  and  groom,  dancin'  the 
same  '  Jackson's  mornin'  brush  ! '  .  .  .  An'  is  there 
no  news  wid  you,  at  all,  at  all.''" 

"  The  sorra  word,  Mary  ;  where  'ud  I  get  news  ? 
Sure  it's  yourself  that  always  on  the  fut  (foot)  that 
ought   to   have   the   news    for   us,  woman  alive." 


328  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

"  An'  maybe  I  have  too.  I  was  spalkin'  to  a 
friend    o'    mine    about    you    the    other    day." 

"  A  friend  o'  yours,  Mary  !  Why  what  friend 
could    it    be  ?  " 

"  A  friend  o'  mine — ay,  an'  o'  yours  too.  Maybe 
you  have  more  friends  than  you  think,  Biddy  .  .  . 
an'  friends  that  e'er  a  girl  in  the  parish  might  be 
proud  to  hear  named  in  one  day  wid  her.     Awouh  !  " 

"  Bedad  we're  in  luck,  thin  .  .  .  Cen'  who  may 
these    great    friends    of  ours    be,  Mary  ? " 

"  Faix,  as  dacent  a  boy  as  ever  broke  bread  the 
same  boy  is,  '  and,'  says  he,  '  if  I  had  goold  in 
bushelfuls,  I'd  think  it  too  Httle  for  that  girl  '  ; 
.  .  .  '  I'm  afeard,'  says  he,  '  that  she'd  put  scorn 
upon  me,  an'  not  think  me  her  aiquals '  ,  ,  .  Poor 
boy  !    throth   my   heart    aches    for   him  !  " 

"  Well,  can't  you  fall  in  love  wid  him  yourself, 
Mary,  whoever    he    is  .''  " 

"  Indeed,  an'  if  I  was  at  your  age,  it  would  be 
no  shame  to  me  to  do  so,  but  .  .  .  the  sorra 
often  ever  the  likes  of  Paul  Heffernan  came  acrass 
me." 

"  Paul  Heffernan  !  Is  that  your  beauty .''  If  it 
is,  why,   keep    him    and    make    much    of   him." 

"  Oh  wurrah  !  the  differ  there  is  between  the 
hearts  an'  tongues  of  some  people  .  .  .  Well,  well, 
I'm  sure  that  wasn't  the  way  he  spoke  of  you, 
Biddy,  an'  God  forgive  you  for  runnin'  down  the 
poor    boy    as    you're    doin'   .   .   ." 

"Who.^   me?    I'm  not    runnin'    him    down.     I    am 


IRELAND  329 

neither  runnin'  him  up  nor  down.  I  have  neither 
good  nor  bad  to  say  about  him — the  boy's  a  black 
stranger  to   me,  barrin'   to   know  his  face." 

"  Faix,  an'  he  in  consate  wid  you  these  three 
months  past,  an'  intends  to  be  at  the  dance  on 
Friday  next,  in  Jack  Gormby's  new  house.  Now, 
goodbye,  alanna  ;  keep  your  own  counsel  .  .  ,  It's  not 
behind  every  ditch  the  likes  of  Paul  Heffernan  grows 
.   .   .   My   blessin'   be   wid  you." 

Next  day,  by  a  meeting  similarly  accidental,  she 
comes  in  contact  with  Paul  Heffernan,  who,  honest 
lad,  had  never  probably  bestowed  a  thought  on  Biddy 
Sullivan  in  his  life. 

"  How  is   your   father's  son,   ahagur  ^  " 

"  My  father's  son  wants  nothing  but  a  good  wife, 
Mary." 

"  An'  it's  not  every  set  day  or  bonfire  night  that 
a  good  wife  is  to  be  had,  Paul — that  is  a  good  one, 
as  you  say  ;  for,  throth,  there's  many  o'  them  in  the 
market,  sich  as  they  are.  I  was  talkin'  about  you 
to  a  friend  of  mine  the  other  day — an',  trogs,  I'm 
afeard  you're  not  worth  all  the  abuse  we  gave  you.''" 

"  More  power  to  you,  Mary  !  I'm  oblaged  to  you. 
But  who  is  the  friend  in   the  manetime  ?  " 

"  Poor  girl  !  Throth  !  when  your  name  slipped  out 
on  her,  the  point  of  a  rush  'ud  take  a  drop  of  blood 
out  o'  her  cheek,  the  way  she  crimsoned  up.  '  Ah, 
Mary,'  says  she,  '  if  ever  I  know  you  braith  it  to 
man  or  mortal,  my  lips  I'll  never  open  to  you  to 
my    dyin'    day.'     Trogs,  when    I    looked    at   her,  an' 


330  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

the  tears  standin'  in  her  purty  black  eyes,  I  thought 
I  didn't  see  a  betther  favoured  girl,  for  both  face 
and  figure,  this  many  a  day,  than  the  same  Biddy 
Sullivan." 

"Biddy  Sullivan!  Is  that  long  Jack's  daughter  of 
Carga  ?  " 

"The  same.  But  Paul,  avick,  if  a  syllable  o' 
what  I  tould  you " 

"  Hut,  Mary  !  honour  bright  !  Do  you  think  me  a 
stag^  that   I'd  go  and  inform  on  you  '^.  " 

"  Fwishper,  Paul  :  She'll  be  at  the  dance  on  Friday 
next  in  Jack  Gormby's  new  house  .  .  .  Think  o' 
what  I  bethrayed  to  you." 

Thus  did  Mary  very  quietly  and  sagaciously  bind 
two  young  hearts  together,  who  probably  might  other- 
wise have  never  for  a  moment  thought  of  each  other. 
Of  course,  when  Paul  and  Biddy  met  at  the  dance  on 
Friday,  the  one  was  the  object  of  the  closest  attention 
to  the  other  ;  and  each  being  prepared  to  witness 
strong  proofs  of  attachment  from  the  opposite  party, 
everything  fell  out  according  to  their  expecta- 
tions. 

As  a  rule  Mary  was  received  everywhere  with 
the  greatest  kindness  and  hospitality.  Every  one 
knew  that  what  she  did,  she  did  always  for  the 
best  ;  and  if  some  small  bits  of  execration  were 
occasionally  levelled  at  her,  it  was  not  more  than 
the  parties  levelled  at  each  other.  All  marriages 
cannot  be  happy  ;  and  indeed  it  was  a  creditable 
proof   of    Mary    Murray's    sagacity,    that    so    few    of 


IRELAND  331 

those  effected  through  her  instrumentality  were  un- 
fortunate.' 

According  to  Mr.  Arthur  Young,^  there  was  a  very 
strange  custom  in  the  interior  of  Ireland  last  century. 
A  number  of  country  neighbours  among  the  poor 
people  fixed  on  some  young  woman  that  ought,  as 
they  thought,  to  be  married  ;  they  also  agreed  upon 
a  young  fellow  as  a  proper  husband  for  her.  This 
determined,  they  sent  to  the  fair  one's  cabin  to  inform 
her  that  on  the  Sunday  following  she  was  to  be 
"  horsed,"  that  is,  carried  on  men's  backs.  She  must 
then  provide  whiskey  and  cider  for  a  treat,  as  all  would 
pay  her  a  visit  after  mass,  for  a  hurling  match.  As 
soon  as  she  was  "  horsed  "  the  hurling  began,  in  which 
the  young  man  appointed  for  her  husband  had  the  eyes 
of  all  the  company  fixed  on  him  ;  if  he  came  off  con- 
queror, he  was  certainly  married  to  the  girl  ;  but  if 
another  was  victorious,  he  most  certainly  lost  her,  for 
she  was  the  prize  of  the  victor. 

If  a  young  woman's  fiance  dies  it  is  a  common 
practice  among  the  peasantry  for  her  to  solemnly 
"  give  back  her  promise."  "  We  had  given  one 
another  a  /z<2«^-promise,"  said  an  old  woman,  speak- 
ing of  her  dead  lover,  "  and  I  had  to  go,  when  he 
was  dead,  an'  take  him  by  the  right  hand  afore 
witness,  to  give  back  my  promise." 

A    belief    in     the     fairies,    once    so    prevalent,    still 

'  Characteristic  Sketches  of  Ireland  and  the  Irish,  by  Wm. 
Carleton.      1845. 

2  Young,  "Tour  in  Ireland,"  1798. 


332  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

lingered  on  in  some  parts  of  the  country  not  long 
ago.  As  an  example  of  this  kind  of  folk-lore,  we 
may  mention  here  that  the  country  people  used  to  say 
that  if  a  man,  at  his  marriage,  unbuttoned  one  button 
of  the  right  knee,  the  fairies  could  not  harm  him  in 
any  way. 

In  some  parts  of  Ireland,  the  "  Mullet  of  Mayo," 
for  instance,  there  is  a  strange  survival,  namelv,  the 
wedding  dance  with  a  straw  mask,  and  in  parts  of 
Leitrim  with  a  straw  petticoat.  On  this  subject  the 
author  consulted  the  Rev.  W.  S.  Green,  an  authority 
on  these  matters,  who  writes  from  Dublin  Castle  as 
follows  :— "  The  Wedding  Masks  to  which  you  refer 
are  used  by  the  '  Strawboys,'  or  Clagheras,  at  weddings. 
A  gang  of  nine  visits  the  home  in  the  evening  of  the 
wedding.  The  '  captain '  dances  with  the  bride,  and 
the  others  with  the  other  girls.  They  leave  in  a  short 
time,  and  another  gang  arrives.  It  is  unlucky  if  their 
identity  is  recognised.  In  the  west  of  this  county  it  is 
still  much  in  vogue,  but  dying  out  in  other  parts.  I 
have  heard  that  a  similar  custom  exists  in  Wexford." 
Masks  of  straw  are  sometimes  used  on  other  occasions, 
such  as  Saints'  Days. 

As  a  good  example  of  Irish  humour  we  submit  the 
following  story  : — 

"  Though  the  Irish  are  so  prone  in  general  to  early 
and  improvident  marriages,  no  people  are  closer  in 
their  nuptial  barter  when  they  are  in  a  condition  to 
make  marriage  a  profitable  contract.  Repeated  meet- 
ings between  the  elders  of  families  take  place,  and  acute 


IRELAND  333 

arguments  ensue,  properly  to  equalise  the  worldly 
goods  to  be  given  on  both  sides.  Pots  and  pans  are 
balanced  against  pails  and  churns,  cows  against  horses, 
a  slip  of  bog  against  a  gravel  pit  ...  a  little  lime-kiln 
sometimes  burns  stronger  than  the  flame  of  Cupid,  the 
doves  of  Venus  herself  are  but  crows  in  comparison 
with  a  good  flock  of  geese,  and  a  love-sick  sigh  less 
touching  than  the  healthy  grunt  of  a  good  pig. 

"  A  marriage  bargain  was  once  broken  off  because 
the  lover  could  not  obtain  from  the  father  a  certain 
brown  filly  as  part  of  the  dowry.  He  afterwards  met 
the  lady  in  a  tent  at  a  fair,  and  being  newly  stirred  by 
the  sight  of  her  charms,  asked  her  to  dance,  but  was 
astonished  at  her  returning  him  '  a  look  of  vacant 
wonder,'  which  said  '  JVho  are  you  ?  '  as  plain  as  looks 
could  speak. 

"  '  Arrah,  Mary,'  exclaimed  the  youth. 

"  '  Sir  !  !  !  '  answered  Mary,  with  great  disdain. 

"  '  Why,  one  would  think  you  didn't  know  me  !  ' 

"  '  If  I  ever  had  the  honour  of  your  acquaintance, 
sir,'  answered  Mary,  '  I  forget  you  intirely.' 

"  '  Forget  me,  Mary  ^ — arrah,  be  aisy — is  it  forget 
the  man  that  was  courtin'  and  in  love  with  you  ? ' 

"  '  You're  under  a  mistake,  young  man,'  said  Mary 
with  a  curl  of  her  rosy  lip.  .  .  .  '  No  one  was  ever  in 
love  with  me.  .  .  .  There  was  a  dirty,  mane  black- 
guard, indeed,  once  in  love  with  my  father  s  brown  filly ^ 
but  I  forget  him  intirely.'  " 

In  Ireland  degraded  clergymen,  known  as  "  Couple 
Beggars,"  sometinies  perform  irregular  marriages. 


334  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

The  ancient  custom  of  seizing  wives  by  force  and 
carrying  them  off  had  not  died  out  towards  the  end 
of  last  century.  A  remarkable  instance  occurred  in 
the  year  1767.  A  Kilkenny  farmer's  son,  being 
refused  a  neighbour's  daughter  of  only  twelve  years 
of  age,  took  an  opportunity  of  running  away  with 
her  ;  but,  being  pursued,  the  girl  was  brought  back 
and  married  by  her  father  to  a  lad  of  fourteen.  But 
her  former  lover,  determining  not  to  lose  her,  procured 
a  party  of  armed  men  and  besieged  the  house  of  his 
rival.  In  the  fight  which  took  place  her  father  was 
shot  dead,  and  several  of  the  besiegers  mortally 
wounded,  and  so  the  would-be  husband  retired  with- 
out his  prize. 


CHAPTER  XXIV 

T6e   Gipsies  and  the  Mormons 

IN  Spain,  a  gipsy  girl  is  generally  betrothed  at  the 
age  of  fourteen  to  a  youth  chosen  by  her  parents, 
and  the  marriage  takes  place  two  years  after.  During 
the  period  of  betrothal  they  must  never  appoint  a 
rendezvous  at  a  distance,  or  converse  with  one  another 
save  as  mere  acquaintances.  The  wedding  festival  is 
a  very  costly  affair,  the  bridegroom  often  involving 
himself  in  difficulties  for  life  in  order  to  provide  an 
entertainment  worthy  of  the  occasion.  In  that  country 
they  are  very  strict  with  their  daughters,  and  any 
lapse  from  virtue  on  the  part  of  a  betrothed  girl  may 
be  punished  with  death.  Mr.  George  Borrow,  who 
witnessed  a  marriage  at  a  church,  thus  describes  what 
followed.  "  When  the  wedding  party  returned,  sing- 
ing and  dancing  began.  Sweatmeats  nearly  a  ton  in 
weight  strewed  the  room  to  a  depth  of  three  inches. 
The  bride  and  bridegroom  began  to  dance  on  them, 
the  company  followed  suit.  To  convey  a  slight  idea 
of  the  scene,  is  almost  beyond  the  power  of  the  words. 
In   a   few  minutes   the  sweatmeats  were  reduced  to  a 

335 


336  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

powder,  or  rather  to  a  mud,  and  the  dancers  were 
soiled  to  the  knees  with  sugar,  fruit,  and  yolk  of  eggs. 
Still  more  terrific  became  the  lunatic  merriment.  The 
men  sprang  high  into  the  air,  neighed,  brayed  and 
crowed  ;  whilst  the  Gitanas  snapped  their  fingers  in 
their  own  fashion  louder  than  the  castanets." 

In  one  corner  an  old  convict  gipsy  produced  demo- 
niacal sounds  from  a  guitar.  The  festivities  lasted 
three  days. 

The  gipsies  in  some  parts  of  the  continent  have  a 
curious  custom.  The  chief  breaks  a  pitcher  crowned 
with  flowers,  and  from  the  fragments  foretells  the  for- 
tune of  the  bridal    pair. 

According  to  Mr.  C.  G.  Leland  and  others,  i  the  most 
valuable  gifts  are  contributed  by  the  girls,  probably 
in  order  to  show  that  they  are  not  quite  penniless. 
They  will  hide  money  they  have  earned  and  bake  it 
in  a  cake,  which,  at  some  fitting  opportunity  they 
throw  over  the  hedge  to  their  lovers.  A  Romany  song 
says  : — 

"1  told  a  lady's  fortune 

In  that  big  house  hard  by  ; 
No  gipsy  could  have  done  it, 

More  cleverly  than  I. 
I  promised  that  she'd  marry, 

A  lord  with  heaps  of  gold  ; 
She  filled  my  hands  with  silver, 

As  much  as  I  could   hold." 

The  following  lines  allude  to  the  cakes  thrown  to 
lovers  : — 

'  "  English  Gipsy  Songs." 


THE   GIPSIES  337 

Oh,  Rommanis  are  coming  ! 

I  know  what  I'm  about  ; 
I  hid  away  the  money. 

Where  no  one  found  it  out. 
I  bought  some  flour  last  evening, 

I  bought  it  secretly  ; 
Come,   now  the  cake  is  ready, 

And  nobody  to  see. 
Meal  so  white,  money  bright, 

Baked  together  here  ; 
All  for  you,  love,  all  for  true  love. 

All  for  luck,  my  dear." 


"  Marrying  over  the  tongs"  is  a  Scotch  gipsy  custom 
referred  to  by  Mr.  J.  M.  Barrie  in  his  well-known 
"  Auld  Licht  Idylls,"  who  says  it  "  is  a  thing  to  startle 
any  well-brought-up  person,  for  before  he  joined  the 
couple's  hands,  '  Jimmy '  (the  gipsy  king  who 
officiated  as  priest)  jumped  about  in  a  startling  way, 
uttering  wild  gibberish,  and  after  the  ceremony  was 
over,  there  was  rough  work  with  incantations  and 
blowing  on  pipes."  The  parties,  it  appears,  stood  on 
either  side  of  the  tongs,  or  in  some  cases  it  was  a 
broomstick.  Until  recent  years  British  soldiers  fre- 
quently married  "  over  the  sword." 

Scotch  gipsies  had  also  a  curious  ceremony  of  divorce. 
The  man  and  woman  who  were  about  to  separate  for 
life  led  forth  an  unblemished  horse,  and  chose  a  priest 
(by  lot)  who  walked  several  times  round  the  animal, 
extolling  its  good  qualities,  and  repeating  the  names  of 
its  possessors.  It  was  then  let  go  and  caught  again, 
when  the  priest  stabbed  it.  Then  the  man  and  woman 
joined  hands  over   its  dead  body  ;  they  walked  three 

23 


338  MARRIAGE   CUSTOMS 

times  round  it,  halting  at  last  at  the  tail,  where  they 
shook  hands  and  went  off  in  opposite  directions.  The 
woman  received  a  token  made  of  cast  iron,  which  she 
was  made  to  wear  for  the  rest  of  her  days.  They 
never  allowed  her  to  marry  again,  and  she  was  liable 
to  be  put  to  death  if  she  endeavoured  to  pass  for  an 
unmarried  woman.  The  horse  was  buried,  all  but 
the  heart,  which  was  taken  out,  roasted,  and  eaten  by 
the  husband  and  his  friends. 

The  Mormons  of  Utah  have  their  own  peculiar 
marriage  rites  and  customs.  In  the  early  days  of  the 
sect  they  seem  to  have  borrowed  their  forms  and 
ceremonies  from  other  religious  bodies,  only  adding 
here  and  there  terms  of  an  original  character.  The 
ceremony  was  performed  by  the  President  himself 
in  the  Temple ;  but  in  some  cases  he  deputed  a 
competent  elder  to  take  the  office,  in  which  case  the 
ceremony  took  place  at  the  officer's  house. 

Disputes  arose  continually  between  the  various 
courts  as  to  the  legality  of  such  elders'  performance 
of  the  rites,  but  these  they  settled  amongst  them- 
selves. When,  however,  the  Church  became  more 
organised,  it  was  ordained  that  the  ceremony  of  mar- 
riage might  be  performed  in  a  public  place,  the  office 
being  taken  by  the  highest  or  the  lowest  dignitary, 
as  the  occasion  served.  In  fact  the  restrictions  became 
less  and  less,  and  those  in  the  church  were  permitted 
to  employ  the  usual  outside  agencies  for  the  marrying 
of  their  children,  without  fear  of  censure  or  reproof. 


THE   MORMONS  339 

Of  the  religious  aspect  of  marriage  the  Mormon 
seems  more  tenacious,  interpreting  Scripture  to  show 
the  error  of  uniting  with  unbehevers,  and  generally 
giving  to  the  ceremony  an  air  of  solemnity  which 
must  have  been  impressive  to  the  thoughtful  mind. 
The  concluding  words  of  the  priest  are  :  "  In  the 
name  of  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ  and  by  the  authority 
of  the  holy  priesthood,  I  pronounce  you  legally  and 
lawfully  husband  and  wife  for  time  and  for  all  eternity. 
And  I  seal  upon  you  the  blessings  of  the  holy  resurrec- 
tion with  power  to  come  forth  in  the  morning  of 
the  first  resurrection  clothed  with  glory,  immortality 
and  everlasting  lives,  and  I  seal  upon  you  the  blessing 
of  thrones  and  dominions  and  principalities  and 
powers  and  exaltations,  together  with  the  blessings 
of  Abraham,  Isaac,  and  Jacob,  etc.,"  after  which 
follows  the  registration,  a  few  friends  also  signing 
their  names  as  witnesses.  When  the  man  already 
has  a  wife  the  first  wife  stands  to  the  left  of  her 
husband,  and  the  bride  at  her  left  hand.  The  presi- 
dent then  asks,  "  Are  you  willing  to  give  this  woman 
to  your  husband  to  be  his  lawful  and  wedded  wife 
for  time  and  for  all  eternity  ^  If  you  are,  you  will 
manifest  it  by  placing  her  right  hand  in  the  right 
hand  of  your  husband."  The  right  hands  of  the 
husband  and  bride  being  thus  joined,  the  wife  takes 
her  husband  by  the  left  arm,  and  the  ceremony  then 
proceeds  as  described  above. 

The  church,  in  addition  to  such  benediction,  secures 
other  privileges  for  the  initiated.     Thus,  by  the  addi- 


340  MARRIAGE    CUSTOMS 

tional  ceremony  of  "  Spiritual  Marriage,"  eternal 
salvation  and  permanent  positions  of  spiritual  rank 
may  be  attained.  For  say  they,  "  One  woman  can 
save  one  man  only  ;  but  a  man  can  be  instrumental 
in  the  salvation  of  an  indefinite  number  of  women." 

Brigham  Young,  in  a  discourse  delivered  forty  or 
fifty  years  ago,  gave  the  following  dictum :  "  And  I 
would  say,  as  no  man  can  be  perfect  without  the 
woman,  so  no  woman  can  be  perfect  without  a  man 
to  lead  her.  I  tell  you  the  truth  as  it  is  in  the 
bosom  of  eternity  ;  and  I  say  so  to  every  man  upon 
the  face  of  the  earth,  if  he  wishes  to  be  saved  he 
cannot  be  saved  without  a  woman  by  his  side." 

The  first  wife,  according  to  the  view  generally  taken 
amongst  polygamists,  is  the  wife,  and  assumes  the 
husband's  name  and  title  ;  the  others  are  called 
"  sisters,"  and  stand  to  the  first  wife's  children  in 
the  relation  of  aunts.  The  first  wife  is  married  for 
time^  the  others  sealed  for  eternity.  The  age  at  which 
girls  marry  is  about  sixteen,  or  a  little  more,  and 
this  seems  to  meet  with  approval  by  the  bachelors. 
Divorce  is  not  much  sought,  because  the  man  is 
ashamed  that  he  cannot  keep  order  in  his  house  ; 
only  in  case  of  adultery,  cruelty,  desertion,  or  neglect 
of  a  flagrant  kind.  Then  wives  are  allowed  to  claim 
to  be  free.  The  too  literal  interpretation  of  Scrip- 
ture has  seemingly  led  the  Mormon  to  commit  poly- 
gamy. Thus  Abraham's  descendants  were  to  be  as 
the  stars  and  the  sands  of  the  sea,  and  in  his  seed 
all   the   nations  of  the  earth  were  to  be  blessed.     And 


THE   MORMONS  341 

they,  believing  themselves  to  be  Abraham's  children, 
seek  to  perpetuate  the  same  design.  The  theory  that 
"  the  man  is  not  without  the  woman,  nor  the  woman 
without  the  man,"  they  interpret  as  an  absolute  com- 
mand that  both  sexes  should  marry,  and  that  a 
woman  cannot  enter  the  heavenly  kingdom  without 
a  husband  to  introduce  her.  "  Nature  is  dual,"  say 
they,  and  an  unmarried  man  or  woman  is,  and  for 
ever  must  be,  an  imperfect  creature.  A  celestial 
marriage  is  a  marriage  of  God,  and  those  thus  joined 
can  never  be  divorced  except  by  the  power  of  God. 

In  justice  to  the  Mormons,  we  may  add,  in  con- 
clusion, that  they  have  other  codes  which  appear  less 
open  to  objection  than  some  of  those  we  have  alluded 
to  above.  Their  polygamy  has  lately  been  made 
illegal  by   the  United  States  Government. 


INDEX 


Abduction,  33,  131 
Abyssinia,  93-5 

Position  of  women  in,  94 
Afghanistan,  67 
Adoring  heaven  and  earth,  China, 

Africa — Bushmen,  127;  central, 
112;  Chaillu,  Paul  du,  109; 
Egypt,  91  ;  Fernando  Po,  iio; 
Igwala,  the,  108  ;  Johnston, 
Sir  Harry,  115  ;  Kaffirs,  116; 
Mahdi,  the,  92  ;  Masailand, 
113;  Mobana,  109;  shutting 
up  the  bride  and  bridegroom, 
95,  113;  Slatin  Pasha,  story 
by,  92  ;  Stanley,  H.  M.,  128  ; 
Thomson,  Joseph,  story  told 
by,  114;  Uganda,  114;  Veil 
of  cowrie  shells,  1 1  3 

Aheta,  the,  of  Philippine  Islands, 
28 

Altar,  walking  round  the,  Greece, 
180  ;   Russia,  200 

"Ambassador  of  Love,"  287,  288 

America,  North,  Indians  of,  136- 
145  ;  Catlin,  Mr.,  story  told 
by,  136;  courtship,  methods 
of,  139-141  ;  Hiawatha,  144 

America,  South,  Darwin  on  people 
of  Terra  del  Fuego,  147  ;  Pata- 
gonians,  147 

Ancestors,  announcement  of  the 
marriage  to,  China,  45  ;  relics 
of,  Tahiti,  171 

Arabs,  Bedouins,  70-71  ;  "bride- 
groom's voice,"  70  ;  Burkhardt, 
71  ;  games,  71  ;   illustrations  of 


Scripture,  69;  notary,  the,  71  ; 
Rebecca,  70  ;  parable  of  the 
virgins,  71  ;  Prof.  E.  H.  Palmer 
73  ;  sheep  sacrificed,  73 

J  rati,  the  6-9 

Araucanians,  145 

Armenians,  81-4;  match-maker, 
81  ;  lucky  times  for  a  wedding, 
81  ;  "wearing  the  crowns,"  83 

Arundkati,  the  star,  8 

Augury,  China,  37 

Australia,  148-149 

Austria,  241  ;  Archduke  John  of, 
241 

Barclay,  Edgar,  103 

Barrie,  J.  M.,  337 

Bedouins,  70 

Belgium,  294 

Best  man,  the,  41,  42,  166,  167, 
178,  234,  250,  252,  254,  259, 
262,  271,  294  ;  origin  of,  295. 
See  Procurator,  Bidder,  School- 
master, Tailor 

Betrothal  before  birth — China,  3  i ; 
New  Britain,  1  56 

"Bid-ales,"  299 

"  Bidding-papers,"  3  i  5 

Bidder,  the,  286 

Bhils,  13 

Bird,  Miss  Isabella.     See  Japan 

Blood-Slain  on  brov/  of  the  bride,  1 4 

Blunt,  Mrs.,  188 

Boat-wedding  procession,  in 
Egypt,  92;  in  Norway,  212. 
See   Siam 

Bohemia,  234-241 


342 


INDEX 


343 


Bosnia,  190-3;  truant  bridegroom, 
192  ;  veil,  193 

Boy  bridegroom,  12,  31,  161,  196 

Brahmin  customs,  5-9 

Breach  of  promise,  Bulgaria,  187 

Bridals  bride  ale,  299 

Bride,  lamentation  by  the,  in 
China,  40  ;  in  Germany,  225  ; 
among  Jews,  40  ;  in  Turkey,  79  ; 
on  view,  China,  44  ;  Morocco, 
loi;  compelled  to  stand  against 
a  column,  Algeria,  102  ;  con- 
fined in  a  hut,  Africa,  1 1 1  ; 
railed  up  on  a  high  platform, 
Tahiti,  171  ;  to  keep  out  of 
the  way  of  her  hoy  fance,  153  ; 
stealing  the  bride,  Switzerland, 
256  ;  to  be  visited  only  after 
dark,  127,  132 

"  Bride  race,"  26,  230 

"Bride-show,"  191-197 

Bridegroom  truant,  story  of,  Bos- 
nia, 192 

Brittany,  286 

Br  on  tola,  257 

Bulgaria,  184-190 

Burchardt.     See  Arabs 

Bushmen,  127 

Bush,  the  man  escapes  to  the,  i  56 

Burma,  19-22  ;  E.  D.  Cuming  on, 
20-22 

Butterflies  as  emblems.    See  Japan 

Burton,  Lady,  on  Syrian  customs, 

87 

Cake,  Bulgaria,  187-189  ;  Eng- 
land, 298 ;  Greece,  177;  Siam,  26 

Campbell,  Sir  John,  on  customs 
in  Orissa,  i  5 

Candles,  42,  89,  198,  201 

Cannibalism,  148,  157 

Canopy  or  pandal,  India,  6  ;  Jews, 
312 

Capture,  marriage  by,  12,  13,  15, 
28,  33,  47,  67,  103,  115,  134, 
145,  150,  181,  240 

Carleton,  Wm.,  326 


Catlin,  Mr.,  story  told  by,  N. 
America,  137 

Chaillu,  M.  Paul  du,  109 

Chair.      See  Palanquin 

Charms,  2,  6,  121 

Child-marriages — India,  1-4,  13; 
Persia,  63 

Child-betrothal — China,  31 ;  Me- 
lanesia, 161,  162  ;  New  Zea- 
land, 149  ;  North  American 
Indians,  138;  Papuans,  153; 
Russia,  196 

China,  30-52  ;  age  for  marriage, 
31  ;  betrothed  girls,  48  ;  boat- 
people,  36  ;  coins  on  orange 
tree,  41  ;  dinners,  37  ;  emblems, 
41  ;  gold  and  silver  weddings, 
5 1  ;  the  \ee-lu7i,  42  ;  marriage 
of  mandarins,  32  ;  marriage  of 
the  dead,  46  ;  persons  of  same 
name  not  to  marry,  48  ;  photo- 
graph of  bride,  5  i  ;  position  of 
women,  30,  34-35  ;  presents, 
45  ;  riddles  asked,  45  ;  selection 
of  an  empress,  50  ;  visit  of  cere- 
mony, 45  ;  widows,  48  ;  suicide 
of,  49  ;  worship  of  the  tablets, 
43,  45  ;  of  heaven  and  earth,  44 

Church  door,  marriage  at,  299 

Clan,  persons  of  same,  not  allowed 
to  marry,  Uganda,  114;  in 
China,  of  same  name,  48 

Cock  slain,  125,  252 

Coins  stuck  on  bridegroom's  fore- 
head, Assyria,  75  ;  worn  by  girls, 
Roumania,  190  ;  Bosnia,  195 

Collection  taken  for  married 
couple,  36,  209,  213,  232,  239, 
285,  300,  301  ;   for  poor,  294 

Combat,  pretended — Austria,  243 ; 
Araucanians,  146  ;  Druses,  85  ; 
fndia,  13-14;  New  Hebrides, 
162  ;  Tartars,  68 

Conquering  foe,  the,  14 

Compare,  the,  271-272 

Cosherers,  326 

Courting  at  funerals,  Burma,  22-2  5 


344 


INDEX 


Criticising  the  bride,  China,  -I-4.  ; 

Africa,  122 
Crowns,  dissolution  of  the,  Russia, 

200  ;  dancing  off  the,  212,  244  ; 

pledging   the,   Germany,    231  ; 

wearing  of  the,  Roumania,  192; 

carrying  of  the,  Bulgaria,  189; 

removing  the,  Armenia,  83 
"Cup  of  Love,"  the,  14,  41,  42 
Czechs,  239 

Dalmatia,  193 

Danubian  provinces,  185 

Dead,  marriage  with  the,  India, 
16,  China,  46 

Delagoa  Bay,  i  24 

Denmark,  21  3 

Dolphin,  as  emblem,  China,  42 

Druses,  of  Mt.  Lebanon,  85  ;  mar- 
riage contract,  85  ;  etiquette,  88 

'Duars  or  clans,  Morocco,  97 

Du  Bois,  the  Abbe,  8 

Dutch  customs.      See  Holland 

Dyaks  of  Borneo,  27 

Earth,  throwing  of,  Kabyles,  103 

Ehrenmutter,  the,  232 

Elopements — China,  34  ;  Green- 
land, 134  ;  Samoa,  168 

Emblems  or  symbols,  in  Bulgaria, 
188  ;  China,  41-42  ;  Japan, 
57-58  ;  in  Germany,  231,  240  ; 
Turkey,  79  ;  Tyrol,  258 

England,  295-31  5.  See  Survivals. 
Bridales,     299  ;     contributions, 

300  ;  "  bidden  weddings,"  300  ; 
running     for     the     bride-cake, 

301  ;  days  for  marrying,  302  ; 
anniversaries,  303  ;  marriage  of 
condemned  criminals,  304  ; 
fleet  weddings,  305  ;  Quakers, 
309  ;  Jews,   312 

Escaping  of  girl  to  the  mountains, 

72-7+ 
Eskimo,  133-135 
Etiquette,  strange  notions  of,  131- 

I  32 


"  Evil  eye,"  the,  averting,  7-9,  73, 

229 
Evil      spirits      {djins)      84,      1 54  ; 

Papuans,    154,    155 
Ewe-speaking  people,  106 

Fairies  (or  little  folk) — Armenia, 

84;  Scandinavia,  2  i  i ;  Scotland, 

325  ;  Ireland,  331 
Felbemann, Louis,  on  Magyars,  253 
Fernando  Po,  1 1 1 
Fezzan,  wedding  in  the,  95 
Fiji,  163-166 
Fleet  weddings,  305 
Flowers,  married   to   a  bunch   of, 

I  I  ;  worn  by  Spanish  girls,  278 
Fo?iaofia,  the,  Hungary,  247 
Fowls  killed  at  the  ceremony,  28 
France,    282-292  ;  bidding,   287. 

See  Brittany 
Fuego,  Terra  del,    147 

Gallows,  married  under  the,  304- 

305 
Games  at  weddings,  71,  86,  291 

Geelvink  Bay,    161 

Germany,  222-233  ;  invitations, 
224  ;  seasons,  225  ;  Ehren- 
mutter, 232  ;  superstitions,  226, 
228-229  '   Polterabend,  227 

Gilbert  Islands,  163 

Gipsies,  242,  335 

Gitanas,  336 

Goat,  with  gilded  horns,  Greece, 
189  ;  sacrificed,    125 

Goldandsilverweddings,  China,  5  i 

Gonds,  the,  i  5 

Goose,  as  emblem,  China,  42 

Graah,  story   told    by,  Greenland, 

134 
Gray,  Archdeacon,  30,  35,  46 

Green,  the  fairies'  colour,  303,  325 
Greenland.  See  Eskimo 
Greece — Albanians,  184;  brides' 
shoes,  179  ;  capture  of  bride, 
181  ;  consecrated  wine,  180  ; 
crowning  by  priest,  180  ;  ex- 
change    of    rings,     175,     179  ; 


INDEX 


345 


Greek  proverb,  176,  181  ;  eating 
a  quince,  182  ;  honey  used,  182; 
Koumbaros,  the,  178  ;  marriage 
contract,  176  ;  match-makers, 
175  ;  propitiation  of  the  water- 
nymphs,  181  ;  visit  to  parents, 
181  ;  water  poured  over  bride- 
groom, 178  ;  washing  the 
bedstead,    183. 

Hamerton,     p.    G.,     on     French 

customs,   283 
"  Hand-promise,"  the,   331 
Headman  of  the  village  (or  chief) 

part  played  by,  Burma  1 2  ;  New 

Britain,  i  56 
Hearth,  bride  walks  round  the — 

Servia,  195  ;  Austria,  241 
"Heart-finger,"  the,  216 
Henna,     use      of — ^Turkey,      79  ; 

Druses,  87  ;   Morocco,  99 
"  Hen-prigger,"  the,  260 
Hervey  Islands,  168 
Hindu  marriage,   i 
Holland,  292-4. 

Holub,  Dr.  Emil,  story  told  by,  127 
Honam,  the,  India,  4,  8 
Honey  on  lintel  of  door,  Greece, 

182 
Honeymoon,  origin  of,  296 
Horoscopes,  China,  51 
Huahine,  172 
Hue,   the  Abbe,  34,  35,  37 
Hungary  (Magyars),  246 

India,  1-19 

Infant  marriage — Africa,  109  ; 
China,   31,  87;  India,   5 

Infanticide,  1 1 

Inspection  of  houses,  259 

Invitations,  214,  286,  293 

Ireland,  326-334  ;  coshers,  326  ; 
"  horsing  a  young  woman,"  3  3  i ; 
mask  dance,    332 

Italy,  268-273  ;  capoccio,  269  ; 
compare,  272  ;  jilts,  269  ;  pre- 
sents, 269  ;  Sicily,  273 

JAkan  tribes  of  Malay  Peninsula, 
26 


Japan — Bird,  Miss,  58  ;  butter- 
flies as  emblems,  58  ;  letters, 
60  ;  mutual  seeing,  55  ;  obe- 
dience of  wives,  53  ;  presents, 
56  ;  religious  ceremony,  57  ; 
sa\i,  58  ;  symbols,  57 

Jews,  traces  of,  in  Madagascar, 
130  ;  their  ceremony,  312 

Jilted  suitors — Australia,  148  ; 
Italy,  268  ;  Roumania,  192 

Journey,  pretended,  7 

Kabyles,  102  ;  Edgar  Barclay  on, 
103 

Kadava  Kumbi,  the,  India,  9 

Kail,  running  for  the,  301 

Kafiirs,  1 17-125;  advice  to 
bridegroom,  122;  bridegroom 
not  to  speak  to  mother-in-law, 
124;  charms  used,  121  ;  "in- 
sulting the  bridegroom,"  123  ; 
"mutual  seeing,"  120  ;  pur- 
chase of  bride,   1 18 

Kangra  district,  1 1 

Karens,  courtship  at  funerals, 
22-25 

Kee-lun,  the.     See  China 

Key  of  chamber,  231 

Kingslcy,  Miss  Mary  on  West 
African  customs,  107 

Kirchgang,  the,  261 

Kissing  feast,  the,  249 

Kohl  used  by  brides,  88 

Kolis,  I  3 

Kol  tribes,  the,  i  2 

Komati  cast,  16 

Kurds,  68 

Kurku  girls,  14 

Kurmis,  13 

Lamb  (or  kid)  killed,  carried  by 
bride  on  horseback.    See  Sheep 

Lamentation  of  bride — China,  40  ; 
Morocco,  99  ;  Russia,  199 

Lapp  wedding,  2 1 1 

Layard  on  Assyrian  custom,  74 

Leland,  Mr.  C.  G.,  336 

Letters  between  parents — China, 
37  ;  Japan,  60 
24 


346 


INDEX 


Levirate,  law  of  the,  131,  163 
Lifting      the      bride      over     the 

threshold.     See  Threshold 
Lighted  lamp  as  emblem,  14 
Lindt,  J.  W.,  152 
Little  people.      See  Fairies 
Lizard,  omen  of  the,  5 
Long  Island,  I  53 

Macedonia,  176 

Madagascar,  130 

Mahi  Kantha,  the,  i  2 

"  Maiden    market,"     the,      Rou- 

mania,  191 
Maien-stecken,  261 
Malayalis,  the,  12 
Malays,  the,  i  5 1 

Malay  Peninsula.  See  Jakun  tribes 
Maoris,  1 49 
Marriage-choice  ceremony,  India, 

9 

Marko  Polo  on  Tartar  custom,  46 

Match- makers — Bulgaria,  185  ; 
Greece,  175  ;  Ireland,  326  ; 
Japan,  55  ;  Persia,  63  ;  Scan- 
dinavia, 208  ;  Siam,  26 

Mask-dance,  Ireland,  332 

Masks,  worn,  Austria,  245 

Matriarchal  system,  the,  12,  197 

Melanesia,  158-162  ;  Dorey,  161  ; 
Florida,  1 59  ;  New  Hebrides, 
162  ;  Santa  Cruz,  161  ;  Solo- 
mon Isles,  158  ;  tattooing,  158 

Modesty,  strange  ideas  of,  132 

Money  collected  for  wedding,  75 

Moors,  97 

Morlacci,  193 

Mormons,  339 

Morocco,  97-102  ;  box  contain- 
ing bride,  100  ;  bride  on  view, 
1 01  ;  henna  used,  98  ;  ox 
slaughtered,  99 

Mother-in-law,  bridegroom  not 
allowed  to  speak  to,  123,  146  ; 
bride  not  to  speak  to,  83 

"  Mountain  of  the  North,"  the,  8 

Mullah,  64 


Murray,  Mary,  Ireland,  327 
Mutual  co-operation,  36 
"  Mutual     seeing."      See     japan, 
Kaffirs 

Name  of  father-in-law  not  to  be 
pronounced  by  the  husband, 
28  ;  of  mother-in-law  not  to 
be  pronounced  by  husband, 
Kaffirs,  124  ;  people  of  same 
name  not  allowed  to  marry — 
China,  48  ;  Australia,  148 

New  Britain,  155  ;  betrothed  be- 
fore birth,  156;  cannibalism, 
157  ;  young  man  on  betrothal 
goes  to  the  bush,  156 

New  Guinea,  151 

New  Hebrides,  162 

Notary,  public.      See  Arabs 

Old  maids — India,  12  ;  China,  48 
Omens,  5 

Orators,  rival,  264,  278,  279,  291 
Ox     slaughtered — Morocco,    99  ; 
South  Africa,  123,  127 

Palanquin,  or  chair,   33,  41,  42, 

43,49 
Palmer,  the  late  Professor  E.H.,  73 

Papuans,  151  ;  meaning  of  the 
word,  I  5 1 

Patagonians,  147 

Paymentsbythe  bridegroom,  4, 151 

"  Penny  Wedding,"  the,  318-324 

Pecunit!,  meaning  of,  i  2 1 

Persia — buffoons,  66  ;  child-mar- 
riage, 63  ;  feeding  the  poor, 
64  ;  marriage  of  cousins,  62  ; 
match-makers,  63  ;  marriage- 
contract,  64  ;  marriage  of  a 
princess,  67  ;  music,  65  ;  posi- 
tion of  women,  62  ;  sacrifice  of 
sheep,  66 

Pine  tree  placed  before  door  of 
new  home — Germany,  227  ; 
Tyrol,  255 

Plant-marriage,  12 

Polish  wedding  in  high  life,  214- 
221 


INDEX 


347 


Polygamy,  i,  114,  138,  152,  163 

Portugal,  281 

Presents  given  by  bride's  father — 

India,    2  ;    Japan,    56,    60  ;    by 

the       bridegroom — India,       5  ; 

China,     37  ;     Japan,     56  ;      to 

bridesmaids,    14,   240,   296  ;  in 

Austria,   244;    Bohemia,   235  ; 

Dalmatia,  193  ;  Hungary,  249  ; 

Italy,   268  ;   Scandinavia,  209  ; 

Sicily,  275  ;  Slave   Coast,  106, 

107  ;   Turkey,  78 
Price  of  a  wife,  4,  12,  71,  87,  93, 

98,    106,    118,    136,    143,    151, 

185,  304 
Procurator,  232,  234,  259 

Quakers,  309 

Racing  after  the  bride,  26,  28 
Ransom,  75,  226,  245,  263 
Red  stain  on  bride's  brow,  14 
Relatives    of    husband,   bride   not 
allowed   to    speak    to,    without 
permission,  Armenia,  83 
Reluctance  of  bride  to  enter  the 
house — Turkey,  79  ;   Syria,  89 
Rice,  throwing  of,  8,  14  ;  expla- 
nation of,  298 
Riddles  asked,  45 
Romanis,  336 

Rome,  ancient  customs  of,  104 
Run-away-marriages,  China,  34 
Russia,  196  ;  "Bride-show,"  197; 
carpet,  202  ;  crowns,  200  ; 
Dr.  Granville,  201  ;  resem- 
blance to  Roman  customs, 
200  ;  survivals,  196  ;  throwing 
water,  201  ;  wine  and  water,  200 

Samoa,  166 

Sale  of  a  wife,  11,  303 

Sampson's  wedding,  69 

Santa  Cru?,,  1 61 

Scandinavia,   208  ;    "Dancing  off 

the  crown,"  212 
Sctirda,  the,  Hungary,  246 
Schoolmaster,  part  played  by,  262 


Scotland,   318-325  ;   penny  wed- 
ding, 318 
Scotch  gipsies,  337 
Seasons   (and  times)  for  marriage 

— Armenians,  81  ;  Austria,  243  ; 

Bulgaria,     187  ;       China,     32  ; 

England,  302  ;  Germany,  235  ; 

Greece,     176  ;     India,     5,     9  ; 

Italy,  271  ;  Scotland,  325 
Second  marriages,  1 1 
Serenade,  277 
"Seven  steps,"  the,  i,  4,  8 
Shepherds,  Bosnia,  191 
Shoe,     throwing    the,     297  ;     of 

fiancee^  asking  for,  China,    47  ; 

bride's    shoes,     43,     179,    210  ; 

husband's,  199 
Sheep     killed  —  Arabs,     71,     73  ; 

Armenians,     83  ;      Kopts,     71  ; 

goat      killed  —  Basutos,      125  ; 

Persia,  66 
Sheep's  trotters,  feast  of  the,  Tur- 
key, 81 
Shooting  at  the  guests  with  arrows, 

Solomon  Isles,  160 
Shutting    up    of    the     bride     and 

bridegroom  —  Bulgaria,      188  ; 

Masailand,  113;  Somaliland,  95 
Siamese  customs,  25 
Siberia     prison     weddings,     204  ; 

Koraks,  204 
Sicily,  273 
Sitting  up  all  night.  Long  Island, 

Silver,    J.    M.    W.,    on    Japanese 

customs,  57 
Slatin  Pasha,  92 
Slave  Coast,  106 
Solomon  Islands,  158 
Somaliland,  95 
Sons'      wives,      appropriated      by 

father,  1 2 
Spain,  276-281 

"Street  of  human  bodies,"  169 
Stevenson,  Robert  Louis,  160 
Suicide    of    brides-elect,    35,    48, 

166,    193 


34« 


INDEX 


Superstitions  —  Bohemia,     237  ; 

China,     37  ;      England,     303  ; 

Germany,  224,  225,  228,  229  ; 

India,  5;  Italy,  269;  Japan,  61 ; 

Scotland,  325;  Switzerland,  262 
"Surprise  visit,"  274 
Survivals,  85,  175,  197,  295-298 
Suttee,  17,  18 
Switzerland,  26 1 -267— ^/>r/'^^//<?, 

261  ;  lucky  time,  262  ;    tailor, 

262  ;  making  nosegays,  263  ; 
the  "yellow  woman,"  265; 
Ehrenmiitter,  265 

Symbolism,  177 

Syrian  customs,  85-90  ;  /:cnna,  89 
Symbols.     Sec  Emblems 
Swa'^amvar,  or  tournament,  9 

Tabu,  84,  i  53 

Tahiti,  171 

Tailor,  the,  262,  2^6 

Tali,  the,  3,  7,  8 

Tartars,  68 

Tattooing,  i  58 

Taunts  by  the  women,  Papuans,  i  5  5 

Theocritus,  105 

Thomson,  Dr.  W.  M.,  on  Syrian 

customs,  87 
Threat  tied  on  bride's  wrist,  3,  7 
Transylvania,  gipsies  of,  242 
Threshold,  stepping  over  the,  by 
bride — Arabs,  71  ;  Austria,  244  ; 
Persia,  66  ;  Turkey,  79  ;  lifting 
bride  over— China,  48 ;  England, 
297  ;  Kabyles,  104  ;  explanation 
of,  104;   Switzerland,  266 
Tomb  of  the  virgins,  China,  35 
Tournament.    See  Swayhnvar^ 
Trousseau,  carried   in    procession, 

China,  41 
Trovador,  277 
Turcomans,  29 

Turks  at  Bulgarian  weddings,  189 

Turkey — 76-80  ;     match-makers, 

76  ;     marriage     contract,     7° 


presents. 


78  ;      reluctance     of 


bride,  79  ;  sugar  as  symbol,  79 


Tying  together  of  bride  and  bride- 
groom, India,  3 

Tyrol,  254-260 

Unwillingness  of  parents  to  part 
with  bride — Bohemia,  235; 
Brittany,  288  ;  Roumania,  191  ; 
Slave  Coast,  107  ;  Tyrol,  255 

Vedas,  the,  I 

Venice,  268 

Veil,  the,  43  ;  of  cowrie  shells,  1 1  3 

Visit     to     parents  —  China,     45; 

Greece,    181  ;    Morocco,    loi  ; 

Slave  Coast,  107 

Wales,  315-17 

Water     poured     over    bride     and 
bridegroom — India,    3,    7,    12; 
Greece,  178,  184  ;    standing  in 
running     water,     Kurds,     68  ; 
poured      over     bride's     father, 
Russia,      201  ;       poured^     over 
threshold,  179;  bowl  oi  water 
upset,  Turkey,  80 
Water  nymphs,  propitiating  the — 
Austria,    241  ;     Bulgaria,    1 88, 
I        190  ;  Greece,  181-182 
!   Waterton,  his  marriage,  3  i 
I   Widows,     treatment     of — China, 
48-49;  India,  17;  Madagascar, 
j        131.      See  Law  of  the  Levirate 
Wine  drunk  by  bride  and  bride- 
groom— Africa,  112,  180  ;  Aus- 
tria,     241    ;        Bulgaria,      189  ; 
China,    41  ;   Jews,    29S  ;  given 
to  bridegroom,  Germany,  231  ; 
mixed  with  water,  Russia,  200  ; 
offered  to  a  girl,  256 
Wings  fastened  on  bride,  83 
Wreaths,  231,  240,  265 
Woods,  girl  seeks  shelter  in,  147  ; 

man  escapes  to  the  bush,  156 
Yellow  woman,  the,  265-266 
"  Yes-ale,"  Scandinavia,  208,  209 
Young,  Arthur,  on  Irish  customs, 

331 
Zezidi,  the,  68 
Zulus,  118 


